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Keegan Salisbury: Difference between revisions
imported>Nicholas05 Please keep me out of this, but I really do not want any involvement with any drama just in case. |
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[[File:E1G3EG2W 400x400.jpg|thumb|I came here to fuck bitches.]] | [[File:E1G3EG2W 400x400.jpg|thumb|I came here to fuck bitches.]] | ||
[[File:Keegan.jpg|thumb|left|Ironically, this image was used from his previous ED article from when he was a retarded 9-year-old. The [[The Powerpuff Girls|Blossom]] [[plushophile|plush]] would make him a future [[manchild]].]] | [[File:Keegan.jpg|thumb|left|Ironically, this image was used from his previous ED article from when he was a retarded 9-year-old. The [[The Powerpuff Girls|Blossom]] [[plushophile|plush]] would make him a future [[manchild]].]] | ||
On September 15, 2004, Karrie Flannigan/Salisbury/Ploman shat Keegan out of her vagina and bought him into the world. At a young age, Keegan was diagnosed with [[Ass Burgers]] and would constantly cry over the dumbest shit imaginable, throw temper tantrums and trash the house whenever he got mad - but his parents always excused it because of '''MUH AUTISM'''. Keegan's fucktarded parents made the extra effort to spoil his severely autistic ass and shower him with love that wasn't deserved. They bought all the toys, games, and electronics for his sorry lard-ass yet Keegan always behaved poorly. As Keegan started growing up and started puberty, he slowly morphed into a faggot who looks like a typically registered sex offender combined with [[Chris-Chan | On September 15, 2004, Karrie Flannigan/Salisbury/Ploman shat Keegan out of her vagina and bought him into the world. At a young age, Keegan was diagnosed with [[Ass Burgers]] and would constantly cry over the dumbest shit imaginable, throw temper tantrums and trash the house whenever he got mad - but his parents always excused it because of '''MUH AUTISM'''. Keegan's fucktarded parents made the extra effort to spoil his severely autistic ass and shower him with love that wasn't deserved. They bought all the toys, games, and electronics for his sorry lard-ass yet Keegan always behaved poorly. As Keegan started growing up and started puberty, he slowly morphed into a faggot who looks like a typically registered sex offender combined with [[Chris-Chan]] along with getting severe acne and a pedostache. Keegan also got violent mood swings once turning into a teenager, replacing the simple tantrums he had as a kid. Keegan admitted to beating up his parents and calling them [[nigger]]s. Sometime in about [[2010]], Keegan got his first social media account, named either MultiKeegster, MultiKeegster1, or 2. | ||
{{center|<big>'''Keegan reviews the American Eagle'''</big>}} | {{center|<big>'''Keegan reviews the American Eagle'''</big>}} | ||
{{center|<youtube>2HoVsDNWmtU</youtube>}} | {{center|<youtube>2HoVsDNWmtU</youtube>}} | ||
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*'''[[Battle For Dream Island|Battle for Dream Island]]''' - Formerly one of his all-time favorites, this would eventually become Keegan's #1 most hated show of all time, to the point where this enby sex offender almost forced everyone, including Kylie, to hate BFDI. This made a fuck ton of people pissed off, however, they couldn't stand up to it at that time or else he would bring down his dreaded '''PERMABAN POWERS.''' He claims to have been good friends with Michael Huang, however being the [[autistic]] little [[faggot]] that he is, he silently cut him off and assumed that BFDI ruined Kylie when in reality, it was [[My mom just died|the death of a loved one]] which made her not feel right for a while. There is just one exception to this, however; Kylie often [[Schizo|thought that she was actually Bubble]] and planned to become [[an hero]] if Bubble ever got eliminated from any of the current seasons of the show. | *'''[[Battle For Dream Island|Battle for Dream Island]]''' - Formerly one of his all-time favorites, this would eventually become Keegan's #1 most hated show of all time, to the point where this enby sex offender almost forced everyone, including Kylie, to hate BFDI. This made a fuck ton of people pissed off, however, they couldn't stand up to it at that time or else he would bring down his dreaded '''PERMABAN POWERS.''' He claims to have been good friends with Michael Huang, however being the [[autistic]] little [[faggot]] that he is, he silently cut him off and assumed that BFDI ruined Kylie when in reality, it was [[My mom just died|the death of a loved one]] which made her not feel right for a while. There is just one exception to this, however; Kylie often [[Schizo|thought that she was actually Bubble]] and planned to become [[an hero]] if Bubble ever got eliminated from any of the current seasons of the show. | ||
*'''Bluey''' - A random [[Australia|Australian Down Under]] baby show that pedophiles and babyfurs concerningly obsess over, which of course had to give Keegan "PTSD". This was the start of when Keegan made a forbidden media list where he would show his hate boners to various shows. [[Hazbin Hotel]] on his DNI when? | *'''[[Bluey]]''' - A random [[Australia|Australian Down Under]] baby show that pedophiles and babyfurs concerningly obsess over, which of course had to give Keegan "PTSD". This was the start of when Keegan made a forbidden media list where he would show his hate boners to various shows. [[Hazbin Hotel]] on his DNI when? | ||
*'''[[Disgusting|Brushing His Teeth]]''' - Keegan really hates brushing his teeth as it gives him what he calls a [[autism|"sensory overload"]]. One day Keegan will get so disgusting that [[WTF|maggots will start festering on his greasy, rank hair]] and given enough time, they'll develop space travel like as in the [[Family Guy]] episode where [[LOL|Stewie dies]]. It can be assumed he has cavities at this point. '''BRUSH YOUR FUCKING TEETH!''' | *'''[[Disgusting|Brushing His Teeth]]''' - Keegan really hates brushing his teeth as it gives him what he calls a [[autism|"sensory overload"]]. One day Keegan will get so disgusting that [[WTF|maggots will start festering on his greasy, rank hair]] and given enough time, they'll develop space travel like as in the [[Family Guy]] episode where [[LOL|Stewie dies]]. It can be assumed he has cavities at this point. '''BRUSH YOUR FUCKING TEETH!''' | ||
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}} | }} | ||
As of now, he is still on YouTube under [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCj6X_51kvbvnC83Ey_LoG3A ~Maestro Keegan~] | As of now, he is still on YouTube under [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCj6X_51kvbvnC83Ey_LoG3A ~Maestro Keegan~] until he got permabanned again. | ||
{{clear}} | {{clear}} | ||
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File:Keegocado Avocado.png|[[Nikocado Avocado|It's Your Permafault!?!?!?!?!?!!!]] | File:Keegocado Avocado.png|[[Nikocado Avocado|It's Your Permafault!?!?!?!?!?!!!]] | ||
File:Lolcow Hotel.png|[[Hazbin Hotel|Trashbin Hoe-yell]] | File:Lolcow Hotel.png|[[Hazbin Hotel|Trashbin Hoe-yell]] | ||
</gallery>}} | </gallery>}} | ||
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|{{frame|{{videoframe|RYTP|background-color: #DBD8CD;|font-weight: bold; | |{{frame|{{videoframe|RYTP|background-color: #DBD8CD;|font-weight: bold; | ||
|[[File:KeeganApology.mp4|560x315px]] <br> <center> '''Keegan's half-assed [[Logan Paul]]-styled apology. He even admitted to grabbing Jack/Tom Cat's IP address, lmao.''' </center> | |[[File:KeeganApology.mp4|560x315px]] <br> <center> '''Keegan's half-assed [[Logan Paul]]-styled apology. He even admitted to grabbing Jack/Tom Cat's IP address, lmao.''' </center> | ||
|[[File:Keegan vs trolls.mp4|560x315px]] <br> <center> '''[[ | |[[File:Keegan vs trolls.mp4|560x315px]] <br> <center> '''[[Lol|Now this is fucking hilarious.]]''' </center> | ||
|<youtube>yCaoZNBUVdY</youtube> <br> <center>'''More Keegan Quotes.'''</center> | |<youtube>yCaoZNBUVdY</youtube> <br> <center>'''More Keegan Quotes.'''</center> | ||
|<youtube>6lch14PNvFQ</youtube> <br> <center>'''[[DO IT FAGGOT]]'''</center> | |<youtube>6lch14PNvFQ</youtube> <br> <center>'''[[DO IT FAGGOT]]'''</center> | ||
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== Trivia == | == Trivia == | ||
[[File:Pube Salmon.png|thumb|His final evolution. [[Emo|Fuck off and let him be]] [[plz]].]] | [[File:Pube Salmon.png|thumb|His final evolution. [[Emo|Fuck off and let him be]] [[plz]].]] | ||
* Keegan looks like [[Chris-Chan]] | * Keegan looks like [[Chris-Chan]] and [[03bgood|Blake Good]]. | ||
* Keegan likes fantasizing about his enemies dying brutal deaths, though it won't happen in a million years. | * Keegan likes fantasizing about his enemies dying brutal deaths, though it won't happen in a million years. | ||
* Like every [[manchild]] he is, he still enjoys watching [[Vyond|GoAnimate]] videos and making shitty jokes. | * Like every [[manchild]] he is, he still enjoys watching [[Vyond|GoAnimate]] videos and making shitty jokes. | ||
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* [[Chris-Chan]] - The person he secretly idolizes and looks like him too. Also did similar things to what Chris Chan did as well. Basically, the YTPMV community's Chris Chan. | * [[Chris-Chan]] - The person he secretly idolizes and looks like him too. Also did similar things to what Chris Chan did as well. Basically, the YTPMV community's Chris Chan. | ||
* [[CyansWorldCartoon]] - Malaysian who acts the same as him, minus the pedo stuff. At least he fucked off, unlike Keegan. | * [[CyansWorldCartoon]] - Malaysian who acts the same as him, minus the pedo stuff. At least he fucked off, unlike Keegan. | ||
* [[Depression]] - The tool that Keegan uses to gain sympathy and attention. | * [[Depression]] - The tool that Keegan uses to gain sympathy and attention. | ||
* [[Diogo Mendes]] - Possible idol? | * [[Diogo Mendes]] - Possible idol? | ||
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==External Links== | ==External Links== | ||
*{{kf|17299|YouTube Poop World & YouChew - Came into existence as a shitty 4chan-wannabe knockoff; Left this world a shitty ResetEra-wannabe knockoff}} | *{{kf|17299|YouTube Poop World & YouChew - Came into existence as a shitty 4chan-wannabe knockoff; Left this world a shitty ResetEra-wannabe knockoff}} | ||
*{{yt|c|UCj6X_51kvbvnC83Ey_LoG3A|JewTube}} | *{{yt|c|UCj6X_51kvbvnC83Ey_LoG3A|JewTube}} '''(PERMABANNED)''' | ||
*{{yt|c|UClPccp0tOvGnKZOvVDvclgw|Former JewTube acc}} '''(PERMABANNED)''' | *{{yt|c|UClPccp0tOvGnKZOvVDvclgw|Former JewTube acc}} '''(PERMABANNED)''' | ||
*{{yt|u|MultiKeegster1|JewTube alt}} '''(INACTIVE)''' | *{{yt|u|MultiKeegster1|JewTube alt}} '''(INACTIVE)''' |
Latest revision as of 03:57, 10 February 2024
THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ. BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM. |
This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
Keegan Salisbury is an irrelevant lolcow who had long since been milked by the masses. You can help by finding someone else to pick on, you meen-spirited cyberboolie! |
|
Keegan Salisbury | |
---|---|
Born | September 15, 2004 |
Nationality | Americunt |
Residence | Illinois |
Ethnicity | White devil |
Gender | Genderfluid |
Sexuality | Abrosexual Pervert |
Aliases | MultiKeegster1, MultiKeegster2, KJS12, TheYtpmaker1000, YTPMaker1000, SourWashingMachine, Imageny, Empty Recycle Bin, xomdjl_, >nul, Keegs, Keegan The YTP Maker, Ksalisb04, godgeeK, Lord Keith, DontThinkAboutIt112, Keegdog, ksal_, ksal., Keegan J.S., Crystal Lake Entrepreneur, Crystal Lake Video Maker, K33G4N, Zeus, z3us, Keegman, ~ Maestro Keegan ~, etc. |
Occupation | Tard raging at people he hates, fapping to random girls and waifus, and possibly more |
Keegan James Salisbury is a severely autistic 20-year-old Internet celebrity turned manchild from Crystal Lake, Illinois with Special Snowflake Syndrome who usually does nothing but sit on his computer and make both YTPs and YTPMVs, threaten people he doesn't like to do dangerous internet acts, cyberstalk people, overreact to the slightest provocations and have autistic meltdowns.
Somehow, he managed to somewhat blend in with his half-assed vigilante campaigns and DDoSing (despite getting hacked in return as well). This train of spergery ended after it was revealed he was abusive towards Kylie (who would become one of his exes), and Keegan's world came crashing down upon him. After he got caught abusing Kylie, Keegan started degrading her at the speed of light. Keegan got butthurt over people rightfully calling out his perverted lard-ass and formed a new community out of his based ex-friends' cringe enemies to form an entire battalion of mental lolcows squirting lulzy milk 24/7. This retard was previously mentioned on another page that was originally removed because he reported it and claimed it was "bullying him and invading his privacy". To be fair, he was just a whiny 9-year-old back then, but now he became a fat 20-year-old autistic pansexual who hasn't learned from his mistakes.
The Beginning
On September 15, 2004, Karrie Flannigan/Salisbury/Ploman shat Keegan out of her vagina and bought him into the world. At a young age, Keegan was diagnosed with Ass Burgers and would constantly cry over the dumbest shit imaginable, throw temper tantrums and trash the house whenever he got mad - but his parents always excused it because of MUH AUTISM. Keegan's fucktarded parents made the extra effort to spoil his severely autistic ass and shower him with love that wasn't deserved. They bought all the toys, games, and electronics for his sorry lard-ass yet Keegan always behaved poorly. As Keegan started growing up and started puberty, he slowly morphed into a faggot who looks like a typically registered sex offender combined with Chris-Chan along with getting severe acne and a pedostache. Keegan also got violent mood swings once turning into a teenager, replacing the simple tantrums he had as a kid. Keegan admitted to beating up his parents and calling them niggers. Sometime in about 2010, Keegan got his first social media account, named either MultiKeegster, MultiKeegster1, or 2.
I'M PLAYING ANGRY BIRDS FOR GOOGLE CHROME!!
On October 19, 2012, Keegan did a gameplay video of Angry Birds on Google Chrome. At one part in the original video, he told his mom to be quiet and that he's currently making a gameplay video for it. After his mom walked out, Keegan started failing hard in the game and started to rage in his retarded midget kid voice. That moment was so funny that the original video he uploaded got memed to death in the comments section. Because Keegan can no longer access his old YT channel, it would stay there forever and Keegan can forever bask in the shame this video has bought upon him.
4:10 is when the real fun begins. Skip to it for the best experience.
Keegan's Family
Keegan's family also tends to be just as spergy and lulzy as the autistic son they have, which is likely a reason for how Keegan is this utterly fucktarded and autistic. They are Ian Sumran Salisbury (daddy) and Karrie Lynn Salisbury/Ploman/Dactyl Flannigan (momma) and all they do is white knight their son online while making fools out of themselves online by associating with random Autism Pride groups on Facebook and posting cringeworthy posts on social media, especially Shitter. Mental retardation and terminal autism sure run in their family. Keegan also likes beating up his parents, especially his mommy when he gets butthurt, hurling his flabby fists at them, screeching like a madman and calling them niggers and faggots. Ironically, Keegan gets butthurt when people say nigger, which shows how much of a hypocrite he is.
People remain shocked to this day that Keegan's parents still defend him, especially his bitch-cunt whore of a mother who still defends him to death even when getting ratioed on Twitter and getting beaten up and unfollowed by her very own unappreciative, spastic abusive son. Keegan's violent spergouts are easily just as destructive as Joey The Autist's, thus giving Keegan the new nickname of "Keegan the Autist", which is very accurate due to just how bloodthirsty, sadistic, and spergy he truly is. If Karrie and Ian truly had brains, they would've simply sent Keegan for adoption or even better, booked him for life into a mental hospital or asylum due to his sheer spergery making him beyond any form of repair.
It should also be worth noting that according to a story that Keegan once told, Karrie tried to stab Ian with a knife in 2016 and was charged with domestic battery. Nobody knows what happened, but knowing how batshit insane his family is, that sounds accurate enough to have happened.
Rumor also has it that Keegan claimed to Kylie that his own mom was in a relationship with an abusive rapist musician known to most as Marilyn Manson. Nobody knows for sure if this was true or not, but knowing how delusional his slut of a mother is, it was likely all made up.
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At least you're being honest.
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Homophobia, and Racism.
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Defending someone who beat her up and called her a nigger.
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The Daddy is a fucktard as well.
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Defending Joseph Rosembaum and Anthony Huber.
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Typical post on her embarrassing Twattah account.
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The bitch now claims to be Bipolar.
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Karrie reveals all the details about her spergery.
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Really, an adequate safety precaution against Keegan would be Nuclear Justice.
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A common occurrence.
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A rare moment of sanity by this lolcow family.
Keegan's Sex Slaves
The following faggots listed below are Keegan's new squad of sex slaves best friends and fuckbuddies that are also fellow losers like he is. After he was ousted, most of his original friend group left him, so Keegan decided to rally their enemies together to form an entire army of fucktarded and mentally-impaired morons. When all of them are combined, they can easily walk into a museum and make themselves an exhibit, thus forming a Hall of Lolcows.
- AlextheTHXandSushiPackfan andNintendogamer - A braindead Gachatard who does nothing but fap to Sushi Pack all-day while blindly worshipping Keegan as if it was his religion or something.
- Isaac71908660 (Powerword: Jeremy Isaac Scott Anthony) - A baby-faced crybaby that loves throwing tantrums on camera like a pussy while supporting RJ Kumar to no end. He's also known for constantly being aroused with a group full of mostly nothing but GoFags and logotards called the Powerhouse of Entertainment (POE) to the point of milking the group to death and always wanting to come back to it every time people there would ban his ass. Ironically, the group was founded by SLN! Media Group (Powerword: Lamont Meeks), someone who's a 25-year old logofag pedophile nigger who was also mentioned on another ED page. HE WANTS FUCKING LOVE!!!!
- Johnqpublic2990 - Some random faggot that vandalized the page over and over for their lord and savior Keegan when in reality Keegan won't fuck them with his microcock. It may have been Keegan's school's IT Assistant, making this even funnier.
- LewmioA (Powerword: Chance Tucker Sims) - This shit-stained, cum-greased lint roller treated Ky like fucking shit and would complain nonstop while ignoring everyone else. He also defamed Baby Lamb Creations all for attention and his daddy made him do push-ups as a result. Now that his former friends hated him, he had no choice but to crawl back to Xomdjl_ like a massive pussy along with the fact that Geoshea was completely obliterated off the web. Also, he hates Madness Combat as apparently, the fandom treated him like shit.
- JustAFan2005 - A chronically rude, backstabbing psychopath from Texas and New York (why the fuck would you live in two American cities far away) with severe buttsex addiction crippling him, especially when he does get to suck Isaac's Weiner.
- lamont_meeks - A 25-year old nigger logofag and pedophile from Chicago, Illinois who used to be well-known but got tainted after becoming a creep.
- Melsbacksfriend (Powerword: Benjamin Mickle) - A furry aspie with a creepy obsession with Vaporeon. He also happens to be one of his real-life fuckbuddies. He also did a response video to the earlier version of this article about his gay fuckbuddy Keegan. This retard also thinks Pokemon is real and is working on a program device thing to make his Vapereon sexual dreams a reality. and likes to use same the most liberal tag on every social media site which is fur fag gay equivalent to BLM called Furries Lives Matter. And just like your run of the mile zoo manchild who's also a furry manchild, this retard works a Chuck E. Cheese, which is the birthing grounds for gay furry autistic retards like him. He also made cheap Chinese fursuit of his precious Vapoeron, which looks like it was made by manchild that became a serial killer and keeps 5-year-old girls in his parent's basement.
- RjGunner111 - A crazy curry nigger from Wisconsin with a massive boner for gaming. In the summer of 2020, he had beef with CodeLyokoFan2002 (Powerword: Roszina Head), a Bri'ish 22-year-old cartoon sperg and womanchild who runs a Discord server called "Tell Us About It", or "TUAI" for short, which is dedicated to massive amounts of spergery over various topics, even hosting movie nights featuring heavily obscure animated movies, and also being subject to a shit ton of raids performed mostly by 13-year-old JoJo's Bizarre Adventure fans alongside the curry nigger himself, and in response to the beef he signed up for several mailing lists and pornography websites using her e-mail. Ironically, he did the same shit towards Keegan as well back in summer 2020 before Keegan got back to him. He enjoys having gay buttsex orgies together with Isaac and Seth. Oddly enough Roszina finally got her own reputation ruined after her 24-year-old now ex-BF from Missouri named Duncan Burden broke up with her sorry ass.
- Sonohara - A greasy and disgusting backstabbing MtF tranny who makes shitty music and still gets into drama despite being a self-proclaimed professional musician. She is a manipulative asshat who was a complete bitch to the people at Joey's Pub. She also backstabbed one of her friends just to be a part of Keegan’s cult.
- Bugboyb - Some autistic pansexual poly grown man with an "UwU" attitude that Keegan met in the other server he got kicked out of, Lustiverse Sanctuary. They were fuckbuddies who often took advantage of each other's OCs and especially his "Victor" OC for ERPs. Because of his interactions with a minor like this, we suspect he could potentially be a pedophile.
- Engelbash (Powerword: Logan Michael Swan) - This fucktard is a bratty, butthurt, blood-lusting, terminally autistic, homophobic, racist, retarded, vicious and mental sped with pedophilic and zoophilic tendencies who is obsessed with blowing bubblegum and making huge bubbles. He also loves disgusting snot bubbles like Carl Wheezer from Jimmy Neutron's one, bunnies such as the Pink Berets from Despicable Me, Peter Rabbit, Cottontail, the Rabbids from the Rayman franchise, Invader Zim, Fanboy and Chum Chum, Jimmy Neutron, My Life as a Teenage Robot and many more shitty TV series, mainly from Nickelodeon. He spends all day in his shitty Discord server tard-raging about shit no one cares about, having idiotic roleplays where he rps as users he hates and uses his "Geo Guy" and "Evil Larry" tuppers to spam the word "nigger" and use @everyone pings to annoy the hell out of everyone. He also likes making fun of 9/11, fapping to child porn all day, and generally being a sick fuck that is completely mental and retarded. This freak also has an army of goons that love spamming the shit out of others on multiple platforms or inviting them to troll group chats. During Keegan's involvement with the Meming Crew, back when he and Logan were enemies, he made multiple attempts to get in contact with Logan's mom, with most attempts being successful. The first time, it led to Logan's laptop getting taken away by his mom. He has done it multiple times since the last time he did so being when Logan was last seen saying "nigger" on Discord. Too bad Keegan ended up turning into the fucktard he desperately avoided trying to turn into. Did we also forget to mention that Engel himself is fuckbuddies with Seunghwan Lee? Today, Keegan and Logan have pretty much-become fuckbuddies again.
Salty Tears
|
As stated in this sex slaves section of this article, his furry friend Melsbacksfriend ranted about the page of his autistic friend and basically went on retard rant about this site mocking his in real life friend Keegan and ED mocking his obsession with Pokemon, which is the most manchild-ist game series typically loved by these severely autistic types, like...Chris-Chan. Being a DecomcRAT and liberal piece of shit, he decided to put Furry Lives Matter as fucking tag of this video. Speaking of furries, the retard ranted about the furries page as well. along with getting butthurt over the Ass Burgers and Pokémon pages, although this website is all satire. Now, you can tell this retard is as retarded as his friend Keegan when he rants about the site too. His microphone is also fucking terrible, or it's just his severe autism hindering his voice as it happens in many autists as well. And as for the fucktard on the right, that is Isaac and his infamous I WANT LOVE!!! video.
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The white devil and curry nigger seethe.
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The curry nigger in the flesh.
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Seething on the inside.
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Keegan is now fascinated by Eevee dicks.
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Benjamin Mickle being a perverted zoophile as usual.
Keegan's Enemies
While Keegan has a roving band of fucktards that obey his every command due to being fellow outcasts like he is, Keegan has also made a shit ton of enemies due to his constant spergery and terrible attitude. Because he has so many enemies, we had to make a separate page for his enemies.
Moar info: Keegan Salisbury/Enemies.
Taking in Constructive Criticism
Typical to a person with Ass Burgers, Keegan is incapable of taking in any sort of criticism whatsoever, even pussy faggot constructive criticism. Anger him one slight bit or trigger his "PTSD" with any one of the thousands of triggers that will make him go berserk and trigger an autistic meltdown from him and BOOM!, he spergs out like a mad dog infected with rabies. If on the computer, he'll immediately block and permaban you like a control freak and Reddit moderator (only if he has dem sweet mod perms), and if IRL, he will hurl his flabby fists at you and try killing you in a fit of tard rage. Keegan often claims that he can take criticism but this has been not the case many times, probably for every time; but he will never face the truth due to being too much of a coward. All Keegan wants is to live in a perpetual ass-kissing 24/7 hugbox where all his waifus like Kani Maki and Starfire will come to life and have BDSM gangbangs together in his filthy sex dungeon while braindead children who get their entertainment out of crappy grounded videos constantly shower his cow shit videos with a ton of likes.
How to piss off Keegan
- Make video remixes of the infamous "permabanned" video - he will of course abuse the DMCA process in an attempt to get it taken down.
- Compare him to either Chris-Chan, Harvey Weinstein, or Oscar Ferguson, a lolcow who doesn't have an article here.
- Make fun of him by using any of his older videos, e.g. Angry Birds for Google Chrome
- Tell him to become an hero - He's considered it before!
- Bring up his past or current actions
- Mention anyone from the friend group that "betrayed" him, like Kylie, Garrett, Connor/Domma, and Samuel.
- Say you ate his waifu's family.
- Flood his e-mail with spam - This has happened before, only except the curry nigger Rj who was mentioned earlier did it while Keegan was still sucking off of Roszina's massive lady dick. Gunnnar has since become fuckbuddies with him.
- Make prank calls to his cell phone
Getting Tipped by The Police
Sometime back in February 2018, some 28-year old retarded pinoy pedophile from Canada named HeyItsBowman/BronyMult (Powerword: John Aguilar) tipped that fat fuck to the police. The tip turned out to be successful as later that month, the police contacted Karrie and made her take Keegan down to the police station for questioning. Following this incident, he decided to leave Garrett's Meming Crew (when it was The Raiding Crew) like the pussy he is because of this. His school was even made aware of this by Keegan himself and his family and he said Garrett encouraged him to do all the lulzy shit he did. Bowman later outed himself in October of 2022 for grooming a 15 year old girl in 2018 (keep in mind she's 19 now). He even also threatened to assrape Keegan and murder Keegan's family back in 2016 when he was 11-12 years of age.
He has not learned jackshit from it ever since. Matter of fact, the dipshit got in legal trouble yet again but this time it was because he stalked one of his IRL exes, Chloe. We elaborate on this later on in the article.
ERP with Jai Heart
Some time ago when Keegan was a whiny 8-year-old brat, this fucker fell into the victims of Jai Heart, a gross piece of shit who physically abused his Ex resulting in getting kicked out of the YTP and YTPMV community as well. Jai Heart made a Skype account pretending to be Rainbow Dash and would try to fool Keegan to do ERP with him. This led to Keegan getting kicked off of Skype as Jai and a few of his fuckbuddies sent it over to his dad.
The ERP Jai Heart did to Keegan ultimately lead to Keegan doing ERP with Kylie 10 years later.
You can read the full thread of Keegan’s experience with Jai Heart here.
Keegan's Love Quest
The following list down below is Keegan’s love quest, similar to Chris-Chan, Keegan has had a series where he falls in love with a girl but at one point he fucks up so badly he then goes “depressed mode” and then harasses them. So far, Keegan has failed miserably in all of them, with his latest being his most miserable failure next to Ky as he got rejected by not one, but two fucking girls and one of them is a fucking tranny.
Helen
Sometime in 2016 or 2017, Keegan started his le epic love quest by establishing a relationship with some autistic spic named Helen Cortes. Not much is known about her, but Helen later dumped him after a couple of weeks.
Jeffy-Chan
After Helen failed, Keegan began another relationship, this time with a severely autistic and mentally retarded white devil known as Jeffy-Chan (Powerword: Brianna Hansen). She's known to be aroused with Jeffy faggotory, hence the name. Despite their relationship going on for about 4 years, they barely did jackshit for it. At one time, the retarded snowflake himself went on a date with her to Chuck E. Cheese. The relationship all ended when Keegan found Kylie and started lusting after her, thinking that she would be more willing to fuck him.
Keegan and Ben also have an unfunny inside joke surrounding Jeffy-Chan's supposed "super strict" mother (Powerword: Dina Hansen), where every time someone annoys them or is super strict towards them, one of them says "Shut up, Dina." to that guy. They also simply say "Dina!" whenever something got removed or blocked.
Kylie
Before they dating, Keegan dumped Garrett and started becoming aroused all around her to the point she became his biggest property more than Garrett...
But now, they recently broke up with each other, partially because of his sexually abusive attitude towards her, and partially due to how unstable Kylie was. Fearing that his waifu would leave him forever, Keegan tried to use his permaban powers to bring her back to the server they owned together as well, along with trying to manipulate her into having an erotic roleplay with him while she was babysitting her younger brother, along with buying her lewd clothes on Amazon so Keegan can jack his Twizzler-Esque micropenis to her. After the breakup, Keegan felt very suicidal and developed a pornography addiction due to no longer having a woman to sext and live out his deranged incel fantasies.
Since Keegan has developed an addiction to sex in general and trying to fuck every girl, someone caught Keegan in the act of him becoming a lolicon. Sometimes before the breakup, Keegan and his ex were arguing in the DMs, leading Keegan to use his Angry Birds for Google Chrome and Permaban powers to keep her forever, which resulted in her trying to break up because of how much of a crazy dumbfuck Keegan is, unlike anything that has happened before. This also led to communities such as the YTP and YTPMV, GoAnimate and closing logo communities to exile him from their communities for Keegan's awful behavior, which also led to Keegan getting kicked off of the Wrapper: Offline development team. These messages also reveal Keegan would always talk to her shirtless so he can fap towards her too, which shows how sickening this guy is. It has also been shown that Keegamber Heard would mimic some of Kylie's behaviors online, even copying certain opinions for example.
Keegan has sperged out at Kylie quite a few times, to the point where he has left quite a few voicemails with threatening auras towards her.
There was at one point during their “KeegLie” ship that they were gonna meet, with a road trip to New Jersey. Despite Keegan being an SJW Liberal, he is scared of the needle and refused to get the vaccine. This resulted in the road trip getting canceled and Keegan cussing his parents out. Luckily they didn’t meet, otherwise, Kylie herself would’ve been raped. That is the sad truth.
Garrett Simmers
Formerly longtime best friends with him, up until recently. Keegan tried going polyamorous with him and Kylie together only to call it quits after like a few hours due to some of Nancer's fuckbuddies canceling him over it, as well as him finally starting to extremely fear the dick he so claims to crave, but fears due to being straight as a ruler and not the Leaning Tower of Piza. There's a very outdated article on this man with the only accurate info being shit people have known for half a decade. Garrett has since become a redeemed lolcow, much like SammyClassicSonicFan, but the same can't be said for the other fucktards listed here, and especially Keegan himself.
Chloe
Just some girl no one gives a fuck about who was at Keegan's school, other than that not much is known about her. There is a possibility that they may have had sex and Keegan Cosby bragged about getting kissed and having sex with her behind the back of the car with a condom on. However knowing Keegan, he most likely didn't fuck her and was simply saying this after a Mommadomma-induced schizophrenic episode or simply trying to spite some of his enemies. Any Chloe that dated him has already broken up with him so Keegan might as well call it quits.
Not too long ago, Keegan got into a heated argument with Chloe, even going as far as to rage in ALL CAPS at her. The gallery below shows the infamous battle of spergery between the 2.
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Unsurprisingly, Keegan was the first one in this fight to sperg out.
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One thing she doesn't realize is both are equally as bad.
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Attention-Seeker Chloe and Keegan The Autist; the dynamic duo.
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Uh oh, looks like the little faggot told all his friends about the article after all!
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Keegan always puts the blame on people who didn't do shit.
However, they eventually got along again after what happened. Keegan does seem to be spending a lot of time with her IRL lately and has claimed that he was fine with just being friends with her. According to a third party who has been keeping an active eye on Keegan, they eventually split apart again following another argument that happened without any sort of reasoning.
Between April and June of 2022, it was shown that Keegan abused and groomed Chloe the same way he abused Kylie. He used multiple burners Snapchat and SMS accounts to threaten her with violence and went as far as to leak her lewd (but censored) and dox on a burner TikTok account, likely because the fat fuck himself was still pissed that Chloe rightfully cut him off. One of the most serious allegations made by Chloe against Keegan was that he and his friends made threats of gang rape on her voice mail and that he tried to come to Chloe's house to inflict harm upon her. Initially, he denied doing those, but knowing his nature he very likely lied about it and is trying to look innocent and cover up the fact that he made the poor girl fear for her life.
Kaylie
There's no info about her other than the fact that she told Keegan to stop talking to her after Keegan constantly begged her for favors Quinton Reviews-style on his school Gmail.
Sammi and Zuzu
After repeated fail with many of his previous waifus he was planning to molest and fap to all day, Keegan thought going poly would be a good idea and later tried hooking up with random girls from other servers. He first found Sammi, a 19-year-old tranny from Canada whom he immediately fell in love with as s(he)? shared similar interests with him along with being an autist as well. Later, Keegan met a new girl named Zuzu who is a 16-year-old girl, and lived to hear him. Keegan says both have similar interests to him, though it was likely that Keegan was simply pulling shit out of his ass and trying to fake his interests as he was so desperate to get a girl and love.
Keegan started bragging about it on Twitter, but then Zuzu decided to "randomly" break up with him, even though it was more likely she just realized how nasty Keegan is in general, or thought his IRL face is ugly (it is). Keegan said it wouldn't affect him, yet he was most likely seething hard in secret. Then Sammi the Tranny decided to break up with him as demonstrated in the picture on the right! Keegan again tried coping but instead seethed so hard he shed a thousand tears on that day.
Arika Warzynski
Not much is known about her other than the fact that Keegan said on Facebook briefly that he was taken by her and also the fact that she is a 21-year-old weeb womanchild and stalker who graduated from Keegan's school. Keegan foolishly did not hesitate to tell others about his experience with her, but little did he know he was dating a possible pedophile and lolcow. The stories Keegan has told involve Arika taking random photos of current students from Keegan's school she supposedly "had a crush on" online, putting them in FaceApp, and using the genderswap feature, printing out the resulting image onto big, laminated paper at the FedEx place and pretending they're real people, even going as far as to make up whole stories, personalities and everything about them. She also carries around a plush of a Sailor Moon character out in public, much like Matthew Davis with Morgana from Persona 5. Keegan has also stated before that she pretends to be multiple people and channels it through certain items, such as the shit she prints out at FedEx. Eventually one day, Arika randomly broke up with Keegan after just a couple of days. They continued to be friends up until recently when Keegan's school's social worker told him that he has to cut Arika off, which he ended up doing. Arika has kept a low profile online and has only been known to do lulzy shit IRL, according to the stories Keegan has told.
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Keegan is considering becoming a faggot for real this time.
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Keegan wants a threesome.
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Now he claims Brianna is abusive.
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Self-own.
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The sister is rightfully disgusted by that fucking freak.
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Get fucked, you fat greasy autist.
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Another autistic tantrum.
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Let's play "Guess Who's The Sick Fuck"! Is it Ky? Is it Keegan? Is it both of them?
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What a fucking retard.
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More of Keegan's sexual depravity.
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Not real or genuine in the slightest.
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For someone who once was demisexual, you sure as hell love comparing yourself to other races and other couples.
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More Love Quest fuckery.
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UUUHHH, excuse me?
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It's ironic, that you compare your girlfriend to sexual furry material.
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Keegan hates it when you imply he is a pedo.
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Keegan smashing his keyboard
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Suicide baiting as usual I see?
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DO IT FAGGOT!!!
Keegan's "Art" and Cartoon Spergery
Like many other autistic speds trying out drawing to be like the cartoonists they revere as literal gods, Keegan has tried making art before as an addition to his shitty YTPs and YTPMVs. Keegan so far has proven to be incapable of making any sort of quality work at all, with the best drawings he can muster being nothing more than sloppily-drawn shitstains on a huge pile of garbage. After being rightfully mocked for making various garbage or self-indulgent porn of his waifu, Keegan closed down his ImagenyDoesZeArt account like a pussy. After he was busted for abusing Kylie, Keegan got even more hate comments on his DA. For some odd reason, Keegan kept these comments up despite ghosting on this account sometimes.
Keegan also has an obsession with many cartoons, such as Teen Titans, Sushi Pack, Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!, along with some animes, and more. Most show that Keegan likes either having him "Kinning" a character or making one of the female characters in the cartoon/anime one of his many waifus; he often does both at the same time and will ship his self-insert or kin with one of his waifu. Keegan also requested many Rule 34 artists to draw porn of Kani Maki, the crab sushi thing from the shitty show Sushi Pack even though he was underage, which potentially got a fuckton of people in trouble. That not only shows how perverted this submoronic imbecile is but also how much of an inconsiderate fucktard who doesn't give two midget shits about others he is.
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This art is clearly referenced.
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Nice stolen background, jackass.
Keegan's Waifuism
BREAKING NEWS!! Apparently Keegan's no longer a waifuist, as evident by some of his older TikToks. He even beat up the Kani doll. |
Being the self-serving and egotistical prick he is, Keegan is a certified waifuist who thinks that he can talk to cartoon characters from a digital screen despite it being completely impossible. Keegan likes licking cartoon screens and going on random waifu subreddits where he proclaims his love for cartoon characters has taken a liking, such as Starfire, and of course, Kani Maki that retarded TOMBOY pink crab he whacks his microcock off to the most.
Keegan proclaims himself to be a self-shipper, which is a short form of an autistic or bipolar shut-in that has spent too much time watching cartoons and/or anime in their basement that gets obsessed with one character and spergs out when someone else finds the character attractive or thinks they're bad/annoying or simply dislikes them. Self-shippers are most often severely autistic and automatic lolcows online, and Keegan is no exception, especially when considering the other lolcow traits he has, such as Angry Birds for Google Chrome and PERMABANNING!!!1
Shit he likes
- Being a part of LGBT community - Yet, the motherfucker has never had a boyfriend, Keegan is just addicted to the clout like any typical Twitter addict so he fakes being LGBT for dem brownie points.
- Beavis and Butt-head - Has its own page. Both the main characters are fucking retarded, which is what Keegan is.
- Care Bears - Specifically, the 2000s cartoon no one cares about. A crowd-pleaser with manchildren, which are exactly his type.
- Cats - Surprisingly, the retard isn't a fucking furry even though he likes cats, though the possibility of him being a zoophile isn't out of the question.
- Clone High - A failed MTV cartoon from hasbeens Phil Lord and Chris Miller that managed to cause a hunger strike in India. Keegan enjoys fapping to the goth chick Joan of Arc.
- Closing logos - Like any other autist, he specializes in collecting closing logos. He wants to catch his eyes on that fucking TAT Communications Company logo and have anal sex with it once, no wonder he fucking called Sony over finding the logo.
- Codename: Kids Next Door - A 2000s cartoon about kids rebelling against adults. There's a lot of naked kids in it, which gives Keegan a lot of fap material. He especially loves Numbuh 3.
- davemadson - A washed-up 60-year-old YouTuber that creates Speakonia videos involving logos. Keegan has an interest in his "work", and has managed to create similar work in the past.
- Empire Today - See "Gracie Films". This is another company about improving houses that Keegan likes to cream his pants over. Their phone number is also his personal forced meme.
- Vyond - The community is filled to the brim with autists who make grounded videos out of characters from baby shows. Keegan being both an unfunny and untalented Vyond Video Maker along with being an abuser makes him idolized by this garbage community.
- Gracie Films - Just like Erik Mokracek and your stereotypical autist, Keegan has an unhealthy fetish for company logos. He also has a forced meme of it based around its YouTube uploaders.
- Homestar Runner - Not much is known about it other than the fact Keegan's been a fan of it since 2011 and often uses it as a source in his shitty YTPMVs.
- Luna Carpet - His secondary forced meme, with the same exact premise. See "Empire Today".
- Monster Allergy - Keegan has a massive boner for Elena Potato, and tried to justify his ship by noting the lack of playgrounds in their school.
- Oban Star Racers - IGPX for cheese-eating surrender monkeys.
- Sam and Max - Keegan likes this game and sees himself as Max, the hyperactive trigger-happy rabbit "thing". Accurate as Keegan would one day get a high score at a school Adam Lanza-style.
- Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go! - A Wapanese cartoon pulled out of Disney's asshole that got cancelled after two seasons. Keegan likes fapping to Nova for the tomboy's sake.
- Sushi Pack - Perhaps his biggest source of fap material yet. Think Powerpuff Girls mixed with Fighting Foodons. His waifu has her headline.
- The Simpsons - Has its own page. He loves it with a capital L, mainly because it's where that logo he likes to fap to mainly shows up. He claims to have been a long-time fan of this show.
- The Powerpuff Girls - He used to love this show as a kid, fucking hell he even had a plush of Blossom from the PPG.
- Tom Karlsson - A random Swede from YouTube that managed to catch his attention by...A Gracie Films video. Every day, he worships him like fucking God. Knowing his autism, it's not that new, since it's also a forced meme.
- Tomboys - He's a fucking incel who slides into butch lesbians' DMs only to be met with disappointment by realizing they're taken.
- Totally Spies - Pronz, pronz, pronz! The show is also nothing but glorified fetishes put on the air for some godforsaken reason which is why Keegan likes it a lot, due to being a massive pervert with a tomboy fetish.
- Wayside - Another Canadian cartoon from the 2000's he spergs over. He likes fapping to the love-crazy dyke bitch Mauricia, and would even sexualize the girls from the show.
- YTPMV - Stuff he specializes in making on Sony Vegas and REAPER. They usually suck, with loads of unnecessary plugins and VSTs by shoving them into his throat, heck, the community wouldn’t even let him back in!
History of known "waifus"
- Rainbow Dash - Specifically, the one from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. May have possibly been Keegan's first one, dating way back to mid-2013. Once ERPed with someone on Skype pretending to be Rainbow Dash around that same period.
- Kani Maki - He treated this cartoon crab-like she was his god and got offended when someone says they ate her family.
- Starfire from Teen Titans - Was the second fiddle to Kani Maki, but Keegan also lusted after her despite Starfire likely being 16.
As of writing, Keegan has not shown any signs of waifuism and has likely left it behind. Good progress, but you're still a fucking retard.
Keegan's Tard Rage
While Keegan is known to have an intense lust for many things, he also fucking hates many others as well. Like Lewmio/Lenny the Lint Roller's extreme hateboner for Madness Combat all because he pissed off its fandom for being an insufferable asswipe, Keegan has a blazing hatred for many other things, most notably Battle For Dream Island and his lack of trust in the 2 rice nigger brothers who created the show. Keegan doesn't just type out massive TL;DR rants on how much he hates the show, but sometimes even draws cringeworthy hate art of them to vent his tard rage.
Hate Boners
- Battle for Dream Island - Formerly one of his all-time favorites, this would eventually become Keegan's #1 most hated show of all time, to the point where this enby sex offender almost forced everyone, including Kylie, to hate BFDI. This made a fuck ton of people pissed off, however, they couldn't stand up to it at that time or else he would bring down his dreaded PERMABAN POWERS. He claims to have been good friends with Michael Huang, however being the autistic little faggot that he is, he silently cut him off and assumed that BFDI ruined Kylie when in reality, it was the death of a loved one which made her not feel right for a while. There is just one exception to this, however; Kylie often thought that she was actually Bubble and planned to become an hero if Bubble ever got eliminated from any of the current seasons of the show.
- Bluey - A random Australian Down Under baby show that pedophiles and babyfurs concerningly obsess over, which of course had to give Keegan "PTSD". This was the start of when Keegan made a forbidden media list where he would show his hate boners to various shows. Hazbin Hotel on his DNI when?
- Brushing His Teeth - Keegan really hates brushing his teeth as it gives him what he calls a "sensory overload". One day Keegan will get so disgusting that maggots will start festering on his greasy, rank hair and given enough time, they'll develop space travel like as in the Family Guy episode where Stewie dies. It can be assumed he has cavities at this point. BRUSH YOUR FUCKING TEETH!
- Medical Needles/Syringes/Vaccines - Although Karrie and Ian are Democrats, Keegan instead became an anti-vaxxer, and is very terrified of the vaccine due to them giving him a "Sensory Overload". Keegan once threw a tantrum all because his liberal momma wanted him to get vaxxed when he was too fucking terrified to get the needle. The result of his not getting the vaccine led to his road trip to New Jersey to meet Kylie getting canceled and then Keegan calling his parents Niggers.
- Pretty Cure - Some girly anime for babies that plenty of Geoshea white knights such as pmpkunhunii, OisinFan62, and MikeP regularly whack off too while Kylie is a fan of it. Because of some pedo known as CureLovelyWarrior who groomed Ky, Keegan got so fucked-up and began hating it to death. He only hated it more after breaking up with Kylie, showing how easily shit gets ruined for him.
- Shaving His Face - Keegan hates cleaning his rancid facial hair and is too cowardly to use a fucking shaver so he has developed all sorts of disgusting beards and mustaches if they can even qualify as proper ones. Keegan has developed a pedo-stache thanks to his fear of razors and shavers. He claims that he "likes his mustache and beard" when in reality, you're not gonna get any pussy with that much facial hair. Learn to fucking shave!
- Soft/Quiet Rooms - Whenever Keegan starts chimping out at his shitty school, he would be promptly tard wrangled by the strongest teachers or staff members in the faculty and then hauled into a soft room where he is free to cry like a little baby. This has led to him developing severe PTSD in these rooms and thus has become extremely paranoid to not sperg out in public so he won't get sent there again. So far, Keegan has failed miserably.
- The Mr. Men Show - A childish Bri'ish-'Murican cartoon that some of Keegan's enemies such as WaRnEr and Kylie have taken a liking to. It was enough for Keegan to get PTSD from it, to the point where he actually ruined the Little Miss Sunshine plush Kylie gave him over a year ago.
- The Owl House - Basically a generic-as-fuck gay Harry Potter that some of Keegan's enemies such as Gemaconda and Garrett have taken a liking to, and apparently it was enough for Keegan to get PTSD from it, even though it's most likely his terminal autism.
- Madoka Magica - Another magical girl anime with a lonely dumbfuck name Madoka who's super gay for Homura, as well as having Mami Tomoe with big titties, and Morning Rescue. Keegan took a liking to it cause of his ex-girlfriend and a former friend of his for the clout and when both dumped him, he started hating it to death.
Keegan's Shitty Shows and Movies
Sometime in about 2014, Keegan started making his own shows, and movies, he gives Geoshea's own media and Chris-Chan's Sonichu and CWCVille comics a run out of their money for his content. Prior to the ones listed below, Keegan planned shows that never happened which had nothing but intros, outros, and closing credits, many of which were Greeny Phatom-like.
iDog and Furby
When Keegan was just a bumbling young faggot in 2014, he wanted to create a TV show. What was it about? A Furby and an iDog living together in their house. He never made a single episode of it, because his Daddy believed the house was too dirty.
Instead, all there was is a shitty intro, credits, and gay-ass closing logos, which ended up much like The Cowabunga Brothers' closing logos especially with a fuck ton of real-life companies that didn't even work on it.
Keegan's Film of Funny and Awesome
With IDog and Furby having never been made, what's a sperg like Keegan to do? In 2016, he created a Greeny Phatom ripoff where an INTERNET HATE MACHINE goes to steal a Danny Phantom action figure and his group of self-inserted morons has to stop him or some other retarded shit like that and has managed to beat up a teacher just so his autism can be completed. It has been a subject of lulz between a group of people for a while. Currently, he claims it "jeopardized his mental health", the exact same claim Kylie used in one of her ventings fits about how much she "regrets" making Bubble vs. Boohbah, another shitty Vyond series made around a similar time period as this movie of absolute pure faggotry.
Spinners Entertainment
Later in 2017 (or so to believe), he created an autistic entertainment company where he can show off his spergery to the world. It, unfortunately, has nothing to do with Meatspin, but however, he has a show involving fidget spinners in it. The shows he created for it include:
- Quick Domino Obstacle - Exactly what it is. A series of retarded domino tricks with the help of a canned audience and his real-life friends. Legend says he also used it to exploit the death of Kylie's mother, as seen on the "live" special. Keegan has claimed before it was meant to be "the Family Guy to The Section Domino's Simpsons", which is also a series of domino tricks with a canned audience created by fellow Aussie cunt TEP Productions/Nc3 Studios (Powerword: Noah Gunter), only except it came before this shitshow, therefore making it a complete ripoff of Noah's work. However, as evident by the soundtrack in some more recent The Section Domino "episodes", Noah surprisingly endorsed it and even made playlists for all the Spinners Entertainment series. However, he later deleted the playlists, likely because he found out about the incident between Keegan and Kylie.
- Spinners - Basically just Keegan playing with fidget spinners and pretending they're people. He even got a freelancer from a relatively obscure site to be in an episode once. Not much to write about. Keegan claims it was inspired by the Marbles "franchise", created by JacHarv (Powerword: Jacob Harvey), who is a 19-year-old Bri'ish manchild that still plays with toys today, and is also a logo sperg.
- The Amazing Marble Race - Just real-life Algodoo which rips off some aspects from Total Drama Island. Hosted by the spergin' faggot himself.
- Welcome To Logo City - Just Keegan acting out with plushies in front of a TV like a manchild, with a videotape playing in the background. Keegan claims it was inspired by "Not A VHS Opening You'd Expect", which is a web series by Taylor Enterprises, another logo sperg and manchild who also makes videos that have a similar aspect to the videos of davemadson.
- Marker or Pen - The Kinder Joy Robot Toy brings one contestant over, and their job is to identify which dildo in the cup is actually a marker or a pen. Yawn.
- WTTW Chicago Logo Bloopers - Basic logo bloopers spergery, with Keegan's massive raging hard-on for the Sushi Pack mixed in. Not much to write about other than the fact it's just another unimportant davemadson-style series.
Currently baleeted, but you can catch Quick Domino Obstacle and Spinners on his Internet Archive account.
Failed An Hero: what will he do next?
On September 22, 2021, Keegan would decide to "out" himself when he revealed that he sexually abused Kylie , his (now) ex-girlfriend. At this very moment, everything that Keeganigger has worked his whole life for, many of the sperg circles he was in, and followers all turned on him on that very day. Keegan's old life and glory days were nothing but a distant memory as sexual abuse is considered unforgivable and Keegan having preached against that shit countless times, obviously would have that shit blow up in his greasy face. Keegan's only defender at that time was his retarded mother, who decided to defend him by calling the rage against him "cancel culture", when really it was just a liberal SJW using progressiveness as a shield for his sexual antics having the crowd he cultivated blow up in his face. Reap what you sow, fucking faggot, or just become an hero.
Tons of new shit was later revealed about Keegan, such as him thinking that it's fine for minors to be put in suggestive situations, being nude or wearing skimpy clothes, the fact that he likes hurling his fat fists at his parents and calling them niggers. Keegan claims that a lot of the things he's said in the past (such as the age chart) were copied off of things Kylie and her friends have said but with slight alterations. However, that should not be used to cover up all the other lulzy things he's done. A crapton of screenshots were leaked and Keegan only began tumbling down in a downward spiral. Soon enough, plenty of videos were later made of this autistic buffoon featuring his untimely spergery in all its glory. It has also been revealed that he tried to pressure Ky into performing lewd acts while her 4-year-old brother was still home, yet said that his made-up daughter "Angela" shouldn't be in Kylie's custody or whatever the fuck due to seeing her masturbate. Afterward, he and Mommadomma decided to make fun of her mother's death by saying she fed her too many discos which of course would backfire hard on him. When called out, Keegan just shifted the blame on Domma and kept saying he "changed" and that he was "taking accountability".
While Keegan is going through a crisis, he attempted to get a job, even so, this fag tried to get a manager position at Raising Cane’s in his area, only for them to not accept him in at all. He eventually got a job at a local Mariano's, bagging people's groceries (GROSS!), let's see how long that lasts, oh also, tell the manager at Mariano's we said hi!
Keegan decided to "retire" from YouTube only to come back two weeks later, which resulted in him doing the same shit 3 days later. This has been a recurring thing where Keegan wastes everyone’s fucking time. On the bright side, one can finally know why abortion exists in the first place. Keegan then later made shittily-made cow shit callouts on more of his enemies, calling them some kind of Garrett Cult while making a Cult of his own consisting of assorted fucktards. After several autistic slap fights, Keegan decided to finally retire. He later deleted all the accounts he still had access to and left the ones that are unable to be deleted as dormant, only to come back yet again on YouTube and Twitter after months. He appears to have turned to satirical comedy and has announced the start of a new project, with only 1 video so far. He is also still making YTPMVs that are half-assed, sometimes "mod replaced" and also have too many processing filters on them, yet the YTPMV community wouldn’t even allow him back as he’s just gonna pull the same shit over and over after being exposed. Unlike other YTPMVers like Nex_, Milly, NuzalMan, and CyansWorldCartoon who left the internet after being exposed to being pedos or rapists, Keegan will not fuck off from the internet and continues to waste everyone’s time. To this day, he is still on the internet.
Discovering his page
Shortly after this article was created by Raiden, Keegan discovered his article, and it didn't take long for his white knights began to start vandalizing it. In December 2021, Keegan created a ShitTok of him going full PERMABAN over his article being updated. On February 13, 2022, at approximately 13:50 AM, Keegan created an Encyclopedia Dramatica account called "LolcowWithAnEDAccount", which he used to fuck up his article by adding false information on his enemies and deleting fucking everything, Keegan couldn't redeem himself until his edits getting reverted, and his account getting permabanned.
One month later, it was shown that Keegan created the (now-baleeted) ED article on Kylie (which was plagiarized from this very article), using another ED account called "Lebasedfaggot". With his permaban anger issues, he used this article to doxx her and add false information about her.
Keegan the “Entrepreneur”
It was revealed on April 1, 2022, that Keegan has decided to become a so-called “entrepreneur” in his new YouTube channel, called “Crystal Lake Entrepreneur” (Crystal Lake Video Maker), when the fact that he can’t read a fucking book to learn how to invest into stocks, and building a business, it’s another way to ruin his fucking life and then harasses Kylie and Midori even more. It also happens to be funny that no one supports Keegan’s decision of becoming an entrepreneur. Since his special needs ass is in a special needs class, HE CAN’T EVEN FUCKING READ. Don’t expect him to become famous, he’s fucked up BIG TIME.
His only intention to become a fucking entrepreneur is to try and get forgiveness after being exiled from every community he was on. Oh, he sold the Kani plush, let’s see him spend more money on girls like a fucking simp would do and pull another incident like this in another community. It didn’t even last long for him to give up his entrepreneurial days and then claim to become rich one day by selling shit on eBay. He recently moved back to his main account after the fact that the account failed. Who else knows what he’ll do next?
Giving up
June 20, 2022 - The day when Keeganie Morningstar shat out a video saying that he will be retiring from all of his social media, except for Snapchat and Discord. He probably might be faking this to get sympathy for his fucked up shit from the Kylie to the Chloe eras, and if he does retire, then pat yourself on the fucking back, we won't be hearing from this dipshit anymore.
Note: This video has audio and contains poor quality, but because Keegan is retarded, you might have to turn your volume all the way up to hear a thing.
HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS
Keegan the Hutt officially returned on his shart stain of a JewTube channel as "Z 3 U S" on July 15th, 2022. This is not surprising in any way, since Keegan is notorious for being a nasty lying pedophilic Aspergic lardass who always BAWWWs about "quitting 4EVAH!!1" and always comes back. Among the first things he did was pass a turd of a video called "PSA". The video's description reeks of his well-known tard rage and Keegalizo Buckzo then spergs Domma, and XenoParadox, and has even threatened to report this page to his school.
—The video's description. Also good luck, pal. |
Hacked and permabanned
On July 24, 2022, a NFT scam by the name of Ark Invest hacked into his main channel, causing it to get suspended; as a result, the over 60% of condensed AIDS and assburgers on JewTube was baleeted along with the channel. Upon discovering this, Don-Keegan Kong had a chimp-out about it and demanded to JewTube that his account gets restored. Also, as expected, he created a new account just to ban evade and posted a video where he explains what happened and states that he is trying to get his old channel back (fat chance).
July 28, 2022, would be the day that he would post yet another retirement video.
Previous Video | Next Video
As of now, he is still on YouTube under ~Maestro Keegan~ until he got permabanned again.
Involvement in the sugar parent community
After his "retirement", he lurked in multiple BDSM/DDLG and sugar parent-related servers typically found on the website DISBOARD.org. His behavior in the BDSM/DDLG servers has been typically described as someone trying to look for a submissive female within his age range, while in the sugar parent servers he is trying to make sales off of "SFW" content he creates himself, mostly thigh, ass, and shirtless pics, alongside shitty Kisekae or Gacha commissions. He was previously in a controversy in the sugaring community after it was discovered he was selling other people's nudes which he found through various MEGA links sent by a 3rd party, but now he is selling his content. This goes to show that Keegan has gone from an internet celebrity who used to be widely respected, to a fatherless damaged e-boy prostitute.
Just recently, this fat fuck was found in the DISBOARD.org server called "Lustiverse Sanctuary", where he was later banned due to usage of a minor character in ERP and sexualization of minor characters as well, in a similar fashion to that of Lamont Meeks and Gabriel Garcia.
Quotes
Previous Quote | Next Quote |
Gallery
This gallery below is an artisan archive preserving the finest ragequits, permabannings, Angry Birds for Google Chrome, and waifu whacking off that Keegdoggis here has decided to show the world too. Enjoy faggots!
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Abandon all hope, all ye who enter here.
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I TRIED SO HARD AND GOT SO FAR (Yes, he actually made this "art" of himself.)
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SUPER PISS SMASHER
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2 creepy retards. It's possible the one on the left could be his woke dad.
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Keegan reenacting Schroeder, the sperg character from Peanuts.
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Keegan tard-raging after a comment he deserves.
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Based Nancer.
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Indeed, Keegan would love to harass minors online by leaking their info.
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More of his pathetic bitchfits.
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The storm after the storm.
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More self-harm edgy gore shit.
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Keegan is extra mad.
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Like Anthony Fantano, Keegan is a living wojak.
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Some disabilities look like this.
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Keegan in a fit of autism.
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Cancelling backfired on this soyboy SJW.
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Even more, disgusting soy.
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One of his lulziest meltdowns.
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Keegan lusting over Starfire.
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Keegan The Autist like the sperg he is, is unable to handle and face the consequences.
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From when a ween sent lube to his house.
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His raging hateboner for Garrett's Meming Crew really shows here. Note how he put his personal info in the blocked words section to avoid getting doxxed, which has already happened.
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His embarrassing binder cover for a class. He did a shitty job censoring the Central Tiger symbol for Discord.
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Based VHSFan.
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A shitty cover of a love song by Elvis Presley that Keegan and one of his school's music teachers initially made to impress his now-ex Kylie.
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Keegan threatening to bring in an enemy of the group.
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He stalks you if you cut ties with him or participate in his article.
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Randy Stair's long lost son got his job at Weis' new brother-in-law before his crab waifu forced him to kill them like his father's ghost waifu.
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Solidified proof of Keegan doxxing his enemies. (as mentioned in the ninth one)
Fan Art
People have also decided to create some art of Keegan, especially after he got exposed. Here are they in all their glory!
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Keegan in a few years' time.
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Keegan decides to cosplay Caillou after shaving his hair.
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Part One...
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... and Part Two.
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The thing every Keegan-ween wishes would happen to him.
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Keegan making Ky's Danger Zone, Keegan's Drama Zone.
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Keegan REEEEEs.
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Depiction of the tard wranglers restraining Keegan.
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Accurate thoughts.
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Bag, that was swell.
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He deserves to burn in the ovens.
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Seems very accurate.
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PTPrime! Will! Get! Permabanned!
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True.
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What a fucking clown.
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Dad WILL be called.
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Keegan after he was born in the hospital.
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Ladies and gentlemen, a new emotion that comes to Keeganigga!!!
Videos
As with the gallery, here are some parody videos of Keegan or the fat autist being the joke himself.
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Other Videos
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Trivia
- Keegan looks like Chris-Chan and Blake Good.
- Keegan likes fantasizing about his enemies dying brutal deaths, though it won't happen in a million years.
- Like every manchild he is, he still enjoys watching GoAnimate videos and making shitty jokes.
- Keegan enjoys making fun of people's deaths, but then backtracks exactly 5 minutes later afterward like the coward he is.
- If Keegan doesn't have moderator roles, he'll be unable to PERMABAN and thus will have a mental breakdown.
- Keegan says he's just exactly like people of color when he's just a white cracker with a girl's hair.
- Keegan pulled a Chris Chan and attempted to get this page taken down 4 times. He even got his Ass Burgers retard friends and school to try to take it down. Tell the IT guy at Keegan's school that we said hi!
- He was once the main developer of a BAWWTISTIC version of Vyond called Wrapper Offline (which mainly brings back the old Family Guy theme called Comedy World) and had coding skills on the same level as YandereDev, meaning this retarded rip-off of Vyond would always crash because this retard would blame his meltdowns and mental issues.
- The characters Keegan sees himself as consist of the retarded salmon from Sushi Pack, Ikura Maki; Max from Sam and Max as well as more, usually to ship himself with the tomboy girl of the show he finds sexy.
- He once claimed to have bi-shitter disorder, but we all know he's faking it for brownie points like his emo Wicca loving Snorlax-lookin' mama.
- A former ween and friend of DLE, named Devon Lawler, cracked a joke about Harvey Weinstein towards him on one of Devon's gay ass streams. Though Devon was a 16-year-old lolcow and troll, he foreshadowed Keegan's behavior later on.
- Keegan and Ben got caught by bus security for reciting that Vaporeon copypasta and he said "THIS IS HIGH SCHOOL, KIDS TALK ABOUT INAPPROPRIATE STUFF ALL THE TIME".
- Keegan was once banned from YouChew for being under 13.
- At one point, Karrie wanted to sell this enby retard on craigslist, which could mean she is fed up with his shit.
- It was once noted that Keegan compared Kylie to Midori, which could mean that Keegan almost could've done the same things to him as Kylie did.
- It can be inferred that his favorite color is orange cause he’s always wearing that stank-ass orange shirt in most of his content. WASH YOUR FUCKING CLOTHES, YOU JACKASS!!!
- Keegan was once suspended from school in 2015 for punching a teacher in the face because she didn’t want her to play on the iPad. This could have led to his Angry Birds for Google Chrome and permaban anger issues today.
See Also
- Angry Birds - The game he played when telling his mother to be quiet.
- Autism - Yes, this abuser has assburgers syndrome.
- BPD - This proves to us that he and his emo mama secretly have attention whore contests in the Salisbury household. He's also the product of TikTok faking disorders and trauma culture.
- Caillou - The cartoon version of Keegan
- Camhead - Similar to Keegan except Cam had common sense and left the internet.
- Chris-Chan - The person he secretly idolizes and looks like him too. Also did similar things to what Chris Chan did as well. Basically, the YTPMV community's Chris Chan.
- CyansWorldCartoon - Malaysian who acts the same as him, minus the pedo stuff. At least he fucked off, unlike Keegan.
- Depression - The tool that Keegan uses to gain sympathy and attention.
- Diogo Mendes - Possible idol?
- Dying Alone
- EDP445 - Black Keegan
- Erik "Tazman" Mokracek - His mentally challenged middle-aged long-lost cousin.
- Geoshea ✡ - Keegan claims to hate him, yet behaves like him. At least Geoshea had some common sense and left the Internet, unlike Keeganigger.
- Glitchlov - another schizo that acted like him.
- Greeny Phatom - Keegan has done Greeny Phatom-related stuff especially before.
- Harvey Weinstein ✡ - Like father, like son. If he wants to be a filmmaker, this could accurately be like him all grown up.
- HeyItsBowman - Pinoy-Canuck manchild who groomed a minor in 2018, Keegan also tried to go full skiddie mode and decided to grab his IP, but failed miserably.
- Incel - As expected of these Redditor snowflake politically correct Gen-Z TikTok libtards.
- Joey The Autist - Long lost brother?
- JustinRPG - Both are known urophiles.
- MediaFan2008 - A person who acts the same just like him but on a worse scale.
- Nikocado Avocado - The person who makes his content look good.
- Pansexual - Ironically, for someone who loves all genders, he seemed to never find a boyfriend or another enby Pedo-fork.
- Pedo - It's very possible that Keegan could be one.
- Rape - One thing Keegan would’ve done to Kylie and Chloe if the road trip wasn’t canceled.
- Teen Titans - The show he used to fap to.
- The Powerpuff Girls - One of the shows he faps to.
- Timbox - A challenger approaches!
- Vyond - The retarded dumbfuck first started in this, yet the community wouldn’t even let him back in!
- YouTube Poop - Keegan made some in the past, yet like the Vyond community, the community won’t let him in again.
- YTPMV - The stupid shit Keegan makes yet just like both communities, the community won't accept him in again.
External Links
- YouTube Poop World & YouChew - Came into existence as a shitty 4chan-wannabe knockoff; Left this world a shitty ResetEra-wannabe knockoff
- JewTube (PERMABANNED)
- Former JewTube acc (PERMABANNED)
- JewTube alt (INACTIVE)
- Long-dead JewTube gaming channel (INACTIVE)
- Another Long-dead JewTube gaming channel (INACTIVE)
- Pointless JewTube Alt (INACTIVE)
- New JewTube (INACTIVE)
- New JewTube alt (INACTIVE)
- Another JewTube Alt (BALEETED)
- His dad's JewTube
- JewTube account for Personal Shit (INACTIVE)
- Abandoned Vidlii account
- Former Twitter Account (BALEETED)
- New Twitter account (BALEETED)
- Another Twitter account (BALEETED)
- Yet another Twitter account of his (PERMABANNED)
- His mom's Twitter
- ~ Maestro Keegan ~#9343 Discord tag as of August 2022
- SoundCloud (BALEETED)
- DeviantART (INACTIVE)
- Steam
- YTPMania (PERMABANNED)
- ytpmaker1000 (INACTIVE)
- Caard (BALEETED)
- New Caard (BALEETED)
- YTMND
- First ever Scratch account (PERMABANNED)
- Another Scratch account of his (PERMABANNED)
- Yet another Scratch account of his (PERMABANNED)
- Fourth Scratch account (PERMABANNED)
- Fifth Scratch account (PERMABANNED)
- Sixth Scratch account (PERMABANNED)
- Current Scratch account
- Reddit (Archive 1, 2) (BALEETED)
- Know Your Meme
- Newgrounds (BALEETED)
- The Mod Archive
- Former Instagram account #1
- Former Instagram account #2 (HACKED)
- Current Instagram account (PRIVATE)
- Facebook (PRIVATE)
- His dad's Facebook
- His mom's Facebook
- Archive of some stuff he made, most notably his retarded toy videos.
- Niconico (INACTIVE)
- (likely former) Tumblr account
- Fandom/Wikia (BALEETED)
- TikTok
- ksalisb2004 Snapchat
- Wordpress Webpage
- Neocites
- GitHub
- Abandoned Github account (INACTIVE)
- MuseScore
- Last.fm (INACTIVE)
- Email: [email protected]
- Cell Phone: +1 (815)-307-2509
- Cash App: $ksalisbury04 (Spam request money from him for the lulz)
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Keegan Salisbury is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |
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Keegan Salisbury is part of a series on Dying Alone
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Keegan Salisbury is part of a series on
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Main Players [+] |
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Keegan Salisbury is part of a series on Taking Down ED [Do It Faggot] |
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Keegan Salisbury is part of a series on articles which are the subject of retarded edit wars |
Beware all ye who tread here Atheist • Ape • AQ Worlds • Black Jesus • Christian • Chimp • |
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Keegan Salisbury is part of the following series:
Article of the Now June 11 & 12, 2022 | ||
Preceded by Conspiracy Theory |
Keegan Salisbury | Succeeded by Wikipedia |