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Rape Womble
Every decade has its defining moment. For the 1980s, it was the Berlin Wall coming down. For the 1990s it was the death of Princess Diana There may have been something that happened that shaped the entire first decade of the 21st Century, but noone can remember what it was.
But what of the 1970s? There are many to choose from: Watergate; who shot JR?; the Star Wars episode of the Muppet Show?
No, the 1970s reached an unsurpassable peak on 20 December 1973, when the following took place.
WTF are wombles?
You mean "WTF were wombles?" as they were graciously hunted to extinction in the 1990s.
Wombles were made-up eco-friendly furries who lived on Wimbledon Common, south west London. They were the means by which an entire generation of Britfags was brainwashed into hand-washing their own trash for free so that the local council could make money by recycling it.
The gimmick of the wombles was that they picked up litter. That's it. You can see for yourself with the following video, if you really have too much time on your hands. (You don't really want to watch it, you want to get to the point of this article, and who can blame you?).
But puppets can't rape!
Oh, ye of little faith.
Due to being popufur with the kiddies, and having a feem chyune written by an oldfag lyricist called Mike Batt, a series of records was released, with which retards could sing along while their parents played cribbage and drank Mateus Rosé while bouncing up and down on spacehoppers. One of these TV 'tie-in' albums was called "Superwombling", and made it into the charts. So then some actors had to dress up as wombles and appear on the weekly BBC music program called Top of the Pops and jig about pretending to sing, so that schoolchildren would believe that wombles really existed.
This was rendered slightly disturbing by the fact that the cartoon wombles were about the size of a young badger whereas the live-action wombles were about six fucking feet tall, but no matter. Everyone had seen Kermit the frog ride a bicycle in longshot in the Muppet Movie and knew that puppets could do shit IRL. Here are the wombles on Top of the Pops for your viewing pleasure, if you really need showing. (We're getting close to the action now, so keep going).
This womble shit got to be what we would now call "A Thing" with the result that you would sometimes get wombles in the Top of the Pops studio audience, even when songs by the wombles weren't actually featured. You can see an example here, in footage that is like a sort of trisomy-afflicted cross between "Where's Wally?" and the Patterson "Bigfoot" film, as imagined by Russ Meyer (Nearly there!):
And now...
But who on earth would get any kind of pleasure out of dressing up as a six-foot fur-clad abomination and lurking anonymously among an unsuspecting audience consisting of schoolkids?
You guessed it!
Conclusion
Where are your 1970s now, retrofags?
See also
- Child abuse
- Cliff Richard - frequent Top of the Pops act; presenter on 21 August 1980
- Dave Lee Travis, - regular TOTP presenter
- Furries
- Paul Gambaccini - TOTP presenter 30 September 1982 and 5 May 1983
- Gary Glitter - Savile was in "his gang" (on TOTP too often to list)
- Jonathan King - frequent TOTP act; songwriter for many other acts; TOTP presenter 25 December 1985
- Nostalgia thread
- Rape
Rape Womble is part of the kiddie-sex scandal...
Jim'll Fix It! |
Rape Womble is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
Rape Womble is part of a series on Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage. |