Mikevirus
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
Virus (Powerword: Michael Daniel Nieves) was part of an extinct species of the genus Homo, possibly a subspecies of Homo sapiens, who started stealing AOL accounts several years after AOL started to become irrelevant. He is closely related to Xbox Live E-thugs, differing in DNA by only 0.3%, just twice the variability across contemporary script kiddies. Remains left by virus include a stack of AOL trial CDs, a few post-it notes covered with Lexis Nexis logins, and a copy of Kevin Mitnick's The Art of Deception, all of which were found in the Staten Island area.
Behaviorally, the subspecies of AOL social engineers which virus belonged to is very similar to (but less advanced than) the modern day Xbox Live/HackForums/Skype skid. Despite being more primitive than his Xbox Live descendants, mikevirus has been somewhat deified by them because he was one of the first mammals to really be known to the wider world for stealing accounts. This form of ancestor worship has persisted into the present day. Even though he professes to be unable to actually use computers (it will be left as an exercise to the reader to determine whether this is due to racial differences or due to his aforementioned classification outside of homo sapiens), litte Michael somehow doesn't see the hypocrisy in criticizing the skills of others.
Anatomically, virus is very similar to modern humans, but has a cranial capacity between 750-1100cc. The less developed brain (as evidenced by his own mother calling him a special ed student to reporters, primarily due to his tendency to chimp out on everyone for no reason at all) and smaller size are the primary physical differences which separate him from real humans.
Timeline from the fossil record
Circa 2004-2005, Mike dropped out of school instead of getting kicked out for fighting. According to his own mother (see above), he was always in special ed classes, because he kept getting into fights with his human classmates.
In 2007, little Michael got v& by a competing species of lesser primates known as the police. They showed up at his door because AOL trolled him by taking all of his accounts, so he decided to go on a social engineering spree and started wreaking havoc in the only way he knew how: He started taking the usernames of senior citizens (the same people who indirectly funded his family's scammed welfare checks by paying taxes) and keeping them for himself.
In 2009, virus used a Lexis Nexis account to pull Kevin Mitnick's dox, in a bid to establish his superiority over another person who is primarily known for his social engineering exploits.
During the summer of 2011, virus had a conversation with Sabu, in which they both (correctly) accused each other of being informants. A dramatic re-enactment of the log can be found here. Mike got a small measure of e-fame in March 2012, when Fox News ran its exclusive stories about Sabu being an FBI informant at the time of the conversation.
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Late in 2012, CosmoTheGod (Powerword: Eric Tristan Taylor) doxed Mike's immediate family in the same way Mike doxed Kevin Mitnick (and for the same reasons). He got bonus points for violating his probation while doing so, then discarding Mike like a used condom and turning his attention to the Westboro Baptist Church, Souljaboy, and Jennifer Emick. They are now friends, and presumably Mike is trying to lure the underaged Eric to New York in order to molest him, since his kid is too small.
In 2013, virus was seen whiteknighting for both CosmoTheGod and zeekill on Twitter and IRC, primarily by being butthurt for some reason about the fact that nachash once bullied JoshTheGod's FBI handler into making Josh go dark for a few weeks. It has been noted that both zee and Cosmo are taller than average 16 year old boys, which can only mean that Mike has another fetish, in addition to infants.
Quotes
Moar info: Mikevirus/Logs.
—Mike Nieves, partying like it's 1999. | ||
—Luz Nieves, Mike's mom, admitting he's retarded. | ||
Gallery
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Owned by CosmotheGod -
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Molestation Victim -
The evolution of Alfred E Neuman
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It is standard operating procedure for an FBI informant to provide their drivers license as collateral. -
The victim of one of Mike's attempts to breed with a more intelligent form of life. -
Awww, poor little Mikey didn't realize that just about any provider can get popped. Guess that means he sucks at security... -
Twitter Hug Box therapy in action. -
This is one of Mike's typical interactions with his adoring public.
See Also
External Links
- NY teen hacks AOL, infects systems
- TEEN IN AOL ‘HACK ATTACK’
- Some tl;dr article about Sabu
- Teen Charged in AOL Hacks is a Fall Guy, Says Crime Mentor — Update
 Mikevirus is part of a series on Web 1.0 |
[ANCIENT HISTORY] Old Memes •
Celebs, h4x0rz, and Phreaks •
Technologies •
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Death of Web1.0
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Mikevirus is part of a series on Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article November 28 & 29, 2013 | ||
| Preceded by Fast Eddie |
Mikevirus | Succeeded by Juggalo Holocaust |