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Egg Girl
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THE SUBJECT OF THIS PAGE IS BEING STALKED BY EASTERN EUROPEAN FREAKS THEY GOT TIRED OF PLAYING SOLO IN THE BUSHES IN FRONT OF HER WINDOW |
Egg Girl is the name taken by a girl who occasionally posts her egg artwork on 4chan's /b/ board. Most of the time she is greeted with positive, almost courteous reviews and a lot of adulation from the normally rabid and angsty /b/ crowd. Other times she is ridiculed by the teeming masses as a trap or a troll, when in reality all she really is is just a girl with a high protein content in her diet.
Correct Nomenclature
—Anon sets the record straight. | ||
While many /b/tards call her "Egg-Chan", This cannot be a true name for Egg Girl. She has not posted nudes, nor has she attempted to troll /b/ by alluding that she ever will post her girly parts. On several occasions, and in at least one picture, she has stated that she is "Egg Girl". While it is not customary to name yourself on /b/, it is also not customary to post original content on the board as well.
People who call her Egg-Chan are:
- Newfags
- Haters
- People who have seen the nudes that trolls have reported are floating around the web someplace.
- People who don't really give a shit about conventional /b/ thinking.
People who call her Egg Girl are:
- White Knights
- Shitbags who claim that they are Oldfags and then they sage the thread.
- Readers of sites besides 4chan and don't mindlessly name every girl who posts anything on /b/ as a "chan".
- Weeaboo faggots
People who scream "TRAP" when she appears are:
- Boxxy fans
- Jacking off
- Probably right
- Unrequited love concerning Cracky-chan, unwilling to accept that she's not into them anymore after 3 years
The Phenomena
—Anon, several thousand times. | ||
In typical fashion, /b/tards are divided right down the center when it concerns Egg Girl. Half of them want to stalk and rape her, while the other half of them think she is fugly and has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Because of this status, Egg Girl ranks along with Boxxy as a epic troll cunt. One must only post a single image of her to light /b/ on fire with a blaze of internet savagery. White Knights will appear out of nowhere to defend her...and haters will attempt to defame her and troll her every post. While this is happening, EVERYBODY will be looking for dox on her in an attempt to find more about this elusive internet persona. As of this writing, nothing further than her copious egg art, some normal cam shots, and a handful of replies can be found.
—Anon again. | ||
Diet
—Egg Girl's chosen medium. | ||
One must speculate that Egg Girl's diet, consisting of a lot of hard-boiled eggs, must cause her to have terrible gas. Imagine if you will, being locked in a large prison cell with approximately 40 grown men who have been fed a scrambled egg breakfast and then a baked bean lunch. Now imagine that it is nine o'clock that night...and you are locked in the cell with them, unable to escape. Now that you have that image firmly in your mind's eye, think about a young girl, eating hard-boiled eggs in large quantities and locked away in her mother's basement with only Sharpie brand markers to keep her company.
Trap?
—Anon, summing up the discussion at hand. | ||
Because no nudes have been posted and also due to her reclusive nature, butthurt posters have speculated rather loudly that Egg Girl may be a trap. Egg Girl herself aided these rumors by posting several images where she had sketched out a goatee on her own face. Coupling the false beard with a hat to tuck her hair under, she became another internet persona, who was as full of the vigorous angst only a pubescent /b/tard could be. While in this persona, her egg artwork takes on a more dark, acrimonious style. Because of this new set of violent characteristics, the threads are full of lulz; garnering hilarity from both camps in the Egg Girl war.
To be fair, Egg Chan does have very funky looking hands, fingers kind of look more like toes.
Art
—Egg Girl, on what she does. | ||
Egg Girl professes to work in other media besides eggs and to have some talent. She has posted at least one picture to back up her claims. However, after viewing the picture, many agree that she should stick to eggs and leave art to the professionals. She also claims to have more artwork that she only shares with a select few. Nothing further at this time has been posted or revealed.
Quotes
Every time an Egg Girl thread starts on 4chan, the following quotes will be seen:
—Anon White Knight copy pasta. | ||
—Anon's typical response. | ||
—Somebody who has never had sex. | ||
—As if it needed to be stated. | ||
Gallery of Egg Art
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Egg Girl and her very intriguing artwork are just in time for EASTER! |
Within this gallery, you will find most of the egg art posted by Egg Girl on the 4chan /b/ board. In most cases, she poses along with her eggs in some sort of attempt at being cute, further fueling /b/'s 13-year old boy's lust for this camwhore.
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omfgooglez -
That's fucking hot. -
i herd u liek
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You know who's awesome? -
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-
-
-
d'awww -
-
-
-
or GTFO -
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upskirt pic -
Wow, how long did you spend on these ones? -
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was cute the first time. -
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-
-
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HE COMES -
He's got a hearty appetite. -
DAT ASS -
WACKY! -
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she has the hots for House -
call cuddy, he's bleeding out!
Camwhore Gallery
While it can be argued that because she does not post nudes of herself, she is not by definition, a camwhore. It can also be argued that anybody who posts pictures of herself this many times is in fact "whoring for the camera".
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d'awww -
Part of the fun of making them... -
...is eating them. -
Somebody called her a man again.
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-
Well, she did post tits. -
and moar -
MySpace head angle -
LOL dunno -
She'll bite yer head off! -
Trying to be boxxy. -
Boyscouts are prepared. -
something for the wapanese crowd -
penis goes where? -
thank god she isn't flashing a peace sign -
hurr hurr hurr -
durr durr durr -
putting /b/tards in their place -
fur faggotry -
reacting to fur faggotry -
tee hee hee -
awwww -
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that's it, there are no more -
trying to act kewl -
okay, so there was one more -
proof she isn't a troll...at least in that thread -
somebody pissed her off, or scared her off -
no moar eggs -
tricky -
awesome -
oh my! -
somebody didn't believe that her brother was posting -
doing that queer french shit again -
BACK to the kitchen! -
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:3 -
I thought only Puerto Ricans liked muffin-tops -
probably from her devianTART profile -
defusing a situation -
om nom nom -
very recent tiem staymp -
chatting about anal -
more weeabo bullshit -
a pretty butterfly... -
probably from her Twitter account -
somebody jacked off to this -
because you are a recluse -
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Danger is her middle name. -
Video
On the night of September 17, 2009, Egg Girl appeared on tinychat. A handful of video caps have been posted on http://www.youtube.com/user/stoolcorybro
While not related, this video is highly relevant to the article.
See Also
- Probably where she learned of 4chan in the first place
- Relevant link. What happens when Egg Girl posts on /b/
- Applies to just about everybody involved.
- You can never be too sure.
External Links
Haven't you been paying attention? Nobody knows shit so far.
- Here are the Rapidshits
- Potential future employer
- How to boil an egg
- How to color eggs...just in time for Easter!
- Professional egg painting techniques
- / Supposedly her MySpace page
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Egg Girl is part of a series on Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage. |
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Egg Girl is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article April 11, 2009 | ||
| Preceded by Angry Homo Kid |
Egg Girl | Succeeded by Mediacrat |