Lordelthibar
LordElthibar, The Director or powerword: Michael Gavin Klein✡ (born February 9th, 1993), on the outside, may seem like any sort of generic Autistic Tarlet, only LordElthibar is a total fucknut manchild who is so stuck into his religion, that even God thinks he's nuts. He's your typical Evangelist Christfag, he hates gays, people from other countries, abortions, Non-Christians, and everybody else who disagrees with him, all while masturbating to his Autistic Disney fanart and guns. He's also a proud Disney fanfic author, writing about the evil liberals taking his freedom away, all while he denies it to people who don't agree with him. He talks like it's 1513, but don't let this fool you, this is proving how autistic he is.
A good Christian
Being the washed up fucknut he is, LordElthibar is one of the most outspoken, if not the most by far, pro-life tartlet on the whole site. His art tends to involve a lot of his far right political views. His pro-life stance is so outspoken that he goes and attacks people who disagree with him because he thinks if he attacks enough people, they'll become good Christians and be pro-lifers like him. Unfortunately, as a dense Christfag, he fails to understand what other political views mean other than his own. Try to get into an intellectual debate with him regarding his strong Christian conservative values, and he'll block you before you can even respond to him. He will then go write a rambling journal about how you're persecuting him in an attempt to get more people to feel sorry for him because he's such a nice and victimized Christian boy who's getting persecuted by people like you everyday. Eventually, Elthibar decided to take his religious conviction further. As of June 2018 the fagtard has developed a pathological hatred of gays. He has gone on record stating that the gays should be jailed and their families split up. Of course, he thinks this is gud Xtian values. uwu
Political views
LordElthibar is a very strong supporter of the Tea Party Movement. He along with his fellow rednecks feel good denying the rights of others while they giving themselves everything. It appears he is under the impression that the reason people hate him is because he is Christian. While this is at least partially true, in actuality people hate him because he is a histrionic fucknut and delusional Tea Party Activist, redneck and conspiracy theorist. He, of course, has failed repeatedly to see the point and relentlessly tries to make everybody else believe he's another struggling Christian dealing with persecution everyday while he goes and persecutes people for their beliefs and political views. He has admitted to supporting Feudalism and wants only rich landowners to be able to vote. He also thinks that Monarchs are a good thing. In other words, he wants to recreate the fucking Middle Ages. But if you dare call him Reactionary then, "ur a ebil gommie!" Nevermind his open contempt for modern democracy.
Autism at its finest
Beyond his de rigueur cuntish antics, LordElthibar's main hobby is making Disney fanart, mostly of the movie Tangled, along with other movies, like Rise of the Guardians and Brave. Criticism should not apply to him because he is an amazing artist, yet still uses Crayolas to draw and resorts to MSPaint for digital drawings because he craves attention so badly. His drawings are so lulzworthy, for a second, you think that this is a joke. He expects everybody to give him a positive comment on his drawings because if you give him a negative comment, he's going to bitch up and whine about being persecuted. He has at least 3 whole pages on his DevianTART profile of hidden or marked as spam comments from people that disagree with him, and bitches endlessly about these people coming to his page in his bitchbook hoping to get attention from the few people that support him. He even has a most wanted list that makes no sense at all, broadening the body of evidence of how Autistic he is. His JewTube Channel, on the other hand, is all about his drawings and poorly edited crossover videos. He thinks he can be a voice actor for simply voicing over his drawings.
- His apology video to somebody he pissed off
His Fanfictions
LordElthibar has recently gotten tons of attention from people because of how bad they are, almost all of them are about Obama turning into a super villain and taking the freedom and rights away from the conservative Tea Party Disney heroes! Along with almost every user that LordElthibar has blocked because he thinks that making them the villain in all his fanfictions will make him awesome, in reality, the fanfics are nothing more than tealiban propaganda because a black guy is president. His fanfics are so bad, it makes My Immortal and Twilight look like literary masterpieces. He also has a wiki dedicated to his fanfics, which brings us to....
Conspiracy Theorist Nutjob
Another claim to that LordElthibar has gotten his 15 minutes of fame from is his wild conspiracy theory that in 2017, The United States will be some apocalyptic wasteland Obama started imprisoning his own citizens, this obviously upsets Elthibar, for it his duty to not understand the power of lulz. He thinks he is going to be the leader of a resistance movement fighting the New World Order! Perhaps if he quit watching a certain Fucktard, he would realize he's nothing more than a forever alone manchild that will indeed die alone, either that or he'll go crazy and give everything up for the glory of God.
The Great Elthibar Wiki Attack
On December 1st, 2013, while LordElthibar was busy fapping furiously to his Hero, a lulzworthy group called the Coalition of Egg Smoking Assholes raided his page and removed all content regarding his fanfics, within 24 hours, when LordElthibar finally got done rubbing his penis with sandpaper to his hero, he realized what has happened and b& the member responsible for ruining his wiki for 100 years. (Which is a false statement, his wiki was shit before the edit.) He now thinks that CESA is some sort of liberal conspiracy, he then bitched about it on his journal about it, he thinks that ED is serious and a legit source, and that he's being targeted by nonexistent atheist terrorist groups. He also thinks he's won simply for banning CESA from his page and protecting his articles. He hasn't learned, like usual....
The Second Great Wiki Raid
Eventually last Thursday, some faggots were reading this wiki page and found out that Michael had his own fandom wikia for his creative and inspiring fanfictions. Believing that this would be good for some potential ED fodder and lulz, a raid was planned as an attempt to smoke him out of his trailer's meth lab. The troll operation was lead by CutestSith along with Mocha who proceeded to raid his wikia and made it legible and more truthful. Such changes that were made to his wiki included facts such as Elthibar's love for big black cocks, his latent lust for his boyfriend Jamal, how Elsa from Disney's Frozen was on a quest to save the white race, and how Hitler did nothing wrong. An example can be shown below.
Naturally, the autist got butthurt and went online (after finishing his masturbation to Merida's feet) to try and save his precious wiki but the damage was already done. It's unknown how many articles were hijacked, because as soon as he would change one article, another would change or it would be re-edited once moar. This caused him to go into an even bigger autistic panic than from the time his local police came to his door questioning his Internet search history. Seeing that their work payed off, Mocha then proceeded to bait Lord Dickslurper the Second on DeviantART. The reaction was of course typical of his caliber: crying, screaming, pointing fingers, and choking on a bottle of semen. This lead to even greater lulz of him flipping out and bitching how Mocha was a big mean poopy pants who should be banned for hate speech for wanting to gas the Jews. (Note dear viewer, that this opinion will not age well along with any position he manages to hold) Who he feels solidarity with since they are God's people. Then he found out she was a Christian too and tried to get her on his side by licking her clit. Naturally the sight of this greasy manlet, she proceeded to bitch slap him and rape him with her dick-clit with his own menstrual blood. I mean, why else is he so bitchy? This made him so incredibly butthurt that he proceeded to do what every tartlet that has discovered he's on here. Yes you read that right, he decided to vandalize this page and even made a shitty attack article on her on how she is mean and wants to gas Jews. It was also just one paragraph, because writing about him diddling fictional underage characters is more worthy of his time and dedication. Besides, not realizing then that by gassing Jews, this makes her perhaps the most charitable person on the planet for dealing with his vermin ilk. Next to yours truly of course. He then proceeded to do the ultimate lolcow maneuver and tried to wipe the entire page. Not realizing that:
- We keep a saved copy of every page and can just restore it. Considering he ran a wikia page of his own, he would've known about this feature.
- We can just ban him. Which we did.
How do we know it's Michael and not a friend or ally? Well dear viewer, he has neither. It doesn't take more than two brain cells to realize its Michael himself since the only pages touched and or made was the one on Mocha, and this very article itself. As if he couldn't fuck up other articles beforehand to make it less obvious. What is even funnier is that the about article on his wiki about himself hasn't been changed for a while about him loving to molest his bible and liking black dicks. Though unfortunately it looks like he figured out how to use a wikia.
The Great Trolling Campaign
Sadly for the little manlet, it didn't end there. Many lulz were had on his main page and it became apparent he was having difficulty dealing with man's biggest hurdle, reasoning. The end result of the autistic rampage left many wounded, including many of the trollop's brain cells.
Mocha's old account egomaniac-monster and teapartycup got banhammered by Deviantart mods for kindly explaining to Michael why he was wrong. The bannage caused Michael to gloat. Though much like his ejaculations (Just kidding, he can't maintain an erection) it was premature as she kept popping up again with a new account. Like the numerous acne above Michael's lips that never seem to go away. With one of her latest reappearances she was able to make the first strike by actually reporting one of his shitty fanfics to the DA mods and getting it banned for child porn. Yes, in the archives of the DA mods this sad pathetic waste of human life now is marked down for possessing cheese pizza and didn't bother to even share. This caused even greater agony and rage for him which was only egged on by Mocha who then proceeded to make fun of his lust for Merida from Disney's Brave. Pointing out how none of the female sex will want to be near him willingly, that no one even remembers the film and that she's fucking underage. To which he shrugged off and actually tried to justify the latter by saying "it was okay in the past!". Ironically, that's the same excuse used by Jared Fogle and muslims, whom he hates with a passion. After this bought of autism, he got prissy and started whining to the DA admins to do something about her and her legions of minions that are attacking him. Thus according to the Internet, he was therefore asking for it.
During this time is when people stopped laughing mostly and decided to try and throw the fucktard a bone by alerting him to not feed the trolls but by this point Mocha isn't so much as milking this lolcow but strapped a fucking milk machine to his utters. Sadly instead of taking their advice seriously, he started flipping out at everyone. Even friends of his who tried to help him or even friendly strangers were deemed as enemies and cussed out by this lolcow. This only resulted in more and more people approving of the trollop and hoping this failed abortion would get his B&. Needless to say, one of their wishes has been granted as a bunch of dank memes of his waifu Merida was made in a Nazi uniform triggering the fuck out of the kikeservative and causing him to call for the shut down of nearly all of DA for being like annuda shoah!
The Lulz Famine
The Lulz Famine was an event that took place during the current year+2 in which the autistic fucknugget got really prissy at the Irish for being Catholic and making abortion legal. He decided to show his displeasure by posting an anti-meme which is basically the Irish flag burning with no punchline. Unless you count their history of course. The biggest problem of his is that he'svery defensive about his own heritage (which includes Irish!) and flags making him easy to fuck with. He did not realize this because in his own words he has high functioning autism, which basically means he's retarded. The battle started when a tranny found his advanced faggotry on DA. Wanting to do a social experiment on just how autistic he was, he sent a request to the author for it to be featured in a political tartlet group on DA. Elthibar, none the wiser, approve the request. Expecting to receive praise on his hatred of Ireland, he instead got a 10 way beat down by dragon-dildos. His almost non-existent reputation crumbled, his fanbase imploded, and he became one of the biggest jokes(next to people like the staff and Destinymew) on DA's political sphere.
The Great War Begins
It took very little time before the great anal reckoning began. Immediately people flocked to his page to tell him what a dumb piece of shit he was. Elthibar reacted in a typical fashion: using his autistic screeching. People were incredibly confused by his antics. For one, he apparently was ethnically Irish to some degree yet was shit talking his own race, calling them sub-human terrorists(and rightfully so). You'd think that would mean he himself was sub-human but no, he was apparently master race from being from a superior nation. This however, also confused people since before Elthibar did not even considered his superior nation to be a superior before, and doesn't even trust his fellow Americunts. Instead, he was identifying as a Confederate. In all honesty, this is par the course for mister master race and we now know that Hitler tried to stop this, and we regret ever trying to stop him in WWII especially since the Nazis were gay Irish men.
However... That was only part of the problem. The REAL reason he hated the Irish was because of this horrible fact: they made traps legal. This wasn't a valid reason, so the tartlets on DA and everyone in society made fun of him for thinking Traps were gay. Everyone knows the dick just makes it better!
Fighting the Evil Globalists
The Irish have been consumed by the evil globalists which is why they are uber evil (along with making traps legal) according to Elthibarf. So instead, he supports an Imperialist nation that spread globalism through much of its fucking history by taking over most of the known world at the time. People tried to point this out to him but this did not register for Elthibar and thought they were all evil peat eating SJW shills. Despite what he wants you to believe, they were simply trying to point out the inconsistencies in his logic. Lard did not care, for he is of the master race and always right. The screeching retard would freak out whenever someone pointed out not so nice things that the U.K had done in the past. Lord Elthibar, in amazing feats of logic of which only he is capable, thought this meant that people wanted to let in ten bajillion Muslims to ræp English girls and make England Islamic. No one, absolutely no one, suggested that but that's the kind of derangement he wallows in like a pig in shit. It is debatable at this point if Elthibar might have either schizophrenia or dementia.
Da Iwish are Mwean ;_;
His next great feat was to justify why he hates them, ignoring the fact he openly admits to have Irish ancestry btw. He hates the truth. His main reason was apparently that "the Irish were mean to me!1!! ;_; "; this is despite the fact TheArtFrog tried to be friends with the little shithead and got bitched at non-stop then told to fuck off when he tried to help him (after being called a peat-eater too). Or the fact he started calling Pixiefairy a cuck and that the Irish contributed nothing to society; it's not like Michael here didn't as well. Clearly it is the Irish who have to show their worth to this majestic master race. Ireland is a nation full of terrorists and cross-dressing traps after all. A furfag by the name of Pheasant-One attempted to drop some help to him, which shows even furfags can at least think, unlike you know who:
—Pheasant-One |
Now in a rational world (which we're unfortunately not in) he would respond with something like this:
—-A rational Elthibar that has yet to be seen. |
Which is exactly what he did-n't do.
This is how he responded:
—Michael on his MissouriPatriot account |
Perhaps they don't say kind words because there's nothing to kind to say to an abortion gone wrong?
He's a History Major
Yeah, no one is exactly buying that one either, however we do know that he has a doctorate in ballistic faggotry. A history major wouldn't waste time on DeviantArt, nay even having the time to make autistic Disney fanfictions while claiming that Ireland only recently became assfucked by its own leaders. One who even spent ten minutes reading up on Irish history will know that Ireland was never good. Another example of his bullshit claims being debunked is using the horseshoe theory by:
- Quoting the Communist Manifesto on property
- Quoting Golden Dawn on money
Noticing vague similarities and state that both of them are practically the same. Skipping the political dick sucking, one can argue that National Socialism did get influence from earlier leftist philosophers but to claim that pragmatically both are indistinguishable from one another is simply incorrect. With National Socialism not being entirely opposed to private property for example. Or you know, not getting your education from a backwater country like the United States may also help avoiding public humiliation from your sperging.
He's Heterosexual
If that's the case he might win the title of being the most heterosexual male in the city of Miami! Some argue that he's such a Fruity McFags-a-lot that he makes Milo Yiannopoulos pass for a heterosexual man. For example, if you were out in public and saw this "man" out on the streets:
Would YOU think he can't take a thick and throbbing 12 incher? Without lube? Yeah, neither would we. Hell, even his voice just SCREAMS to you that he needs AT LEAST several cocks to gobble up. Unfortunately for you, you used to not have to worry about meeting the guy in real life. He left his quarantined trailer park to travel around Europe and even managed to keep a job. Until you know, he quitted due to the latest chink virus mandates. If even he could land a job, what's holding you back dear viewer?
The End...?
Finally it almost ended when Elthibar could no longer take the c̶r̶i̶t̶i̶c̶i̶s̶m̶ ahem, I mean Cyber-bullying from all those evil secular Muslim trolls. No srsly, he actually believes that they are secular Muslim trolls. However, don't point out the logic behind that conclusion, for you're just a salty SJW Commie-Liberal rich Leftard who spends his day on his laptop sipping a frappuchino at StarBucks. What would YOU know about oppression against Autistics? Soon, he ended up disabling comments due to all the cyber-bullying he received for his opinion. Thus ending his embarrassment and we will hopefully all forget this faggotry. JK!!1! This is the fucking Internet, everyone knows you can't erase the faggotry you've left behind (just go ask GirlVinyl about that). And with this article up, no matter what Michael erases we'll always have an archive/copy available at our fingertips...Like this one!
H̶i̶s̶ ̶b̶a̶n̶
L̶M̶A̶O̶ ̶H̶E̶'̶S̶ ̶B̶&̶!̶!̶!̶1̶!̶ He's back as of January 12th, and is mad.
So as previously stated, for those of you who don't follow any of the trolls on DeviantArt (why would you join that site anyways?), Michael went ahead and got himself banned. This happened when he felt the need to go to the main page of the owner of DA and DEMAND that DA remain a safe space for him since it was an anti-Christian site in his own words (which is incomprehensible due to him jerking his Craigslist date's cock at the same time leaving just gibberish). Apparently the bot that runs the site recognized how damaging this autism was to human neurons and banned him... Or maybe it's because he REUPLOADED the same fanfiction (he claimed it was the "SFW" version) that got taken down for fucking CP? Besides, we all know the average DA user doesn't even have a brain. Either way, Michael shut his trap and not a word was heard from him since the ban was lifted on January 12th, bringing with him several thousand tons of salt he extracted from the Great Salt Lake. There was so much salt historians claim that it rivaled the last great salt mining of November 9th 2016. He responded in a typical lolcow fashion which gives us greater cause to laugh with him, not at him. Because, we here at ED are filled to the brim with tolerance. :)
—LordElthicuck after getting dicked by the b& hammer dry |
Enough is enough guize!!1! This is cyber-bullying!!1! Don't you trolls have any heart??? :(
So, he ended up moving to a new account called "MissouriPatriot", thinking the trolls wouldn't be able to find him. Thinking he could continue to post his tiresome, autistic bullshit, they actually did find him. And according to many witnesses and his surgeon (JK he can't afford one since they don't accept food stamps, thanks Obama!), no one knew that an anus could prolapse that much. RIP Michael's anus(1993-2017), where would Tyrone put his cock into now? Well... I mean you can always just, oh you know, shove it back in.... >:^)
The YouTube Exodus
On August 6th, current year, Trump has been delivering his campaign promises since day one of his inauguration, one of them being "Making America Great Again". And sure enough, he's pulling through and it's not just America but the Internet too. Michael's new JewTube account MissouriPatriot (the faggot for once didn't name an account after a Disney character or one of his shitty OCs) received a strike for the content in one of his videos. What did they violate, you ask (besides your brain cells)? Well according to him it's "hate speech", which is code word for even YouTube is sick of his autistic faggotry and decided to shut it down. Michael, after finishing sucking the man meat of his pastor Jim Jones, finally checked his inbox and noticed what had been done. In this moment in time, Michael had finally recognized the REAL problem confronting the White man, the ones who've been behind 9/11, the ones who wants every White Cis Male to check their privilege, the ones who want you to recognize there are more than 750+ genders. It was the J̶e̶w̶s̶- Big corporations, and he has decided to take the move to Dailymotion, because it's not like they're anything similar or anything...Right?
Hating the Fags
Perhaps one of the biggest reasons he attracted so much attention is his fag hatred. Hating faggots isn't something unusual in fact we have our own article on them seen here. However Elthibar/Missouri takes it to a rather extreme degree. What is strange about that is he is legitimately homophobic. Not in the standard SJW terms that he hates or disagrees with gays but that he is legitimately afraid of them. One instance was comments by him left on an LGBT group on DA where he begged them not to harass him since he is a good Christian boy. However let's skip the minor BS and just dive right into the juicy stuff. What got people to raise eyebrows at him is a little event that took place in 2016. Around June a sand nigger killed about fifty or so faggots in a club. Elthibar took this moment to show solidarity with his fellow Americans in this tragic event, and sent the best wishes to the victim.
Lel JK. Of course he didn't do that. Instead what he did after orgasming several times that fags died, was to write another autistic bitch book AKA DA journal on how and why the LGBT is a hate group. Some would consider this in poor taste given that he did this right after they got killed but remember, this is Elthibar we are talking about. Elthibar claimed that EVERYONE in the LGBT was blaming Christians for the attack on Orlando, despite this never fucking happened, even on fucking tumblr of all places. However this was not autistic enough. We must go further. Elthibar blew everyone's previous expectations away by comparing the LGBT as a whole as a hate group on par with the KKK, Nazis, and Communists and yes he is srs. People of the internet started calling him out on this and asking how they are a hate group. When people called him out on this he tried to play it off as being a le rational skeptic centrist and that he doesn't have to side with the LGBT (because siding with them is like siding with the Nazis to him). This was no the first time this has happened. As pointed out one of the reasons that he hated Ireland above was that Ireland passed a bill making fags and traps legal. This caused him much sperging and the story behind that, well it leads us to some other fun events.
While browsing his page you may see the name "Kyle Akers" pop up a few times. To an almost unsettling degree. This lead to people wondering who this was. The answer to that was a former friend on his on DA whom Elthibar considered his partner in making autistic Disney fanfics. What caused that split between him and Kyle was that act of Irleand making gay marriage legal. Elthibar posted here a journal on his loss of pride in being Irish since gay marriage was passed. Kyle tried to calm him down here with injustice universe being Kyle. Now Kyle himself is another asspie that makes autistic fanfics, and also is a foot fag, but at least he comes off as reasonable when compared to Elthibar. Elthibar wasn't having any of that, for in his own words Ireland making gay marriage a thing physically hurt him and triggered him into near oblivion and anyone not accepting any opinion besides "gas the fags, push them back into the closet" was not cutting it for Elthibar and if you said otherwise you were pushing the ebil homosexual agenda. In reality people were just asking him why he was sperging so much on Ireland passing this act when England who he also cock sucks had already passed it?
Well autism of course. Kyle simply told him he needed to calm down and they were like brothers to each other and that freaking out like this was not helping anyone. Elthibar replied in the most heartwarming way ever.
"The old Elthibar was killed when Rapunzel betrayed him."
Truly the work of a poet.
https://injustice-universe.deviantart.com/journal/Moving-on-552974701
Kyle made his own journal after this where they were forced to part ways. It is autistic in itself and cannot separate larping from reality but it gives a general vibe on what went down. Kyle was working with Elthibar in a partnership for these fanfics he makes. After his leave as we will see in a second the content of those fanfics gets, well, lets say strange.
https://lordelthibar.deviantart.com/journal/Harassed-by-the-Disgraced-Ex-partner-539913404
https://lordelthibar.deviantart.com/journal/Harassment-Continues-539916027
https://lordelthibar.deviantart.com/journal/Kyle-Supports-Adultery-540019523
After the split Elthibar made a few more posts where he bitched and whined about Kyle and also stated he does not hate the fags, despite literally saying the fact they can live and marry together physically hurts him. However we mentioned his fanfics get strange, that's where this next beauty comes in. Elthibar then went on a rampage and made a new fanfic, this time revolving around Kyle. Specifically Kyle trying to make gay marriage legal in Corona (Germany in his fanfic world where Rapunzel is) and that is the basic crux of the plot. It did not stop there. Within the fanfic he fags and traps create "The Union of Marriage Expansion" which was a terrorist organization designed to make sodomy legal but the autism did not end there. Instead the plot thickens when it is revealed the traps are working with Spain and Spain out of fucking nowhere has an army of Orcs from Lord of the Rings. You did not read that wrong. There has been no further continuation of this fanfic from that point or an explanation on why Spain, Mordor, and traps are working together. We can only assume Elthibar himself realized how autistic this was and stopped but the more likely answer is he is no more than a lazy fucktard.
Narcissism
Elthibar suffers from the Dunning Krueger effect where he tends to have an over inflated opinion of himself despite pride and arrogance being the deadliest sin. Where he spends most of his time trying to be edgy and cool to try and impress DA neo-nazis and the far right. Sadly for him they and nearly everyone else on DA tell him to fuck off. Above is part of his facetwat which should paint a pretty good example.He is also a fan of accusing you of fallacies that he himself usually commits. Prepared to be bored to death as you hear that its an invalid argument due to, ad hom, argument to authority, equivocation or literally anything he can pull out of his ass. Only issue is he is not above using the same things he accuses others of. For ad hom its literally not that hard to find any comment where he bitches and yells at people for minor things often laced with insults and slurs. Some examples include.
Argument from authority. It is nearly impossible to debate with him since he rejects every citation as "Fake news" and mainstream propaganda. No matter where it comes from and he will call it appeal to authority. Issue is he is willing to do it right back. For example he may state you can't use CNN, Fox, or MSNBC since its fake news but that's only if it disagrees with him. If it DOES agree with him then its truthful and ready to point out "See even the MSM agrees with me so it must be right."
This gets so out of hand that he uses an argument from authority saying that Dalai Lama agrees with him so he must be right which itself is an invalid argument. When called out that he used argument from authority which he accuses others of he doubles down and accuses them of a DIFFERENT fallacy. The only thing to accept is that Elthibar is always correct and right everyone else is wrong and controlled by the Satanic Illuminati Jews.
Joining the Alt-Right
Elthibar in his infinite wisdom thought that he wasn't edgy enough. After getting repeatedly violated by Acommissionreviewer, and got told to fuck off for the 6 bazillionth time, Elthbar's salt levels peaked at critical mass, perhaps nearing the ranks from the Mocha saga. After being told to fuck off (yet again), Elthibar finally did some self-reflection, and realized that, for once, he should stop being such an asspie and change some of his views.
LOL JK, that WOULD never happen. Instead what Elthibar decided to do was declare that civic nationalism is dead, and that only the white race can save America. Now, why would he decide to join the alt right?
Did he perhaps realize that niggers are responsible for most of the crime in America?
That the spics want cultural conquest?
Nah, instead what happened was that he argued with some SJWs, and then suddenly all niggers are the problem now. Most would not come to this conclusion, especially since for once, it wasn't the niggers nor the spics' fault. But remember, this is Elthibar we are talking about. And so, Elthibar's journey began into the alt-right. Elthibar would soon run into the biggest hurdle in his life: logic.
A random commenter happened upon his page like they always do and decided they should inform Elthibar about what the alt-right is and what they stand for such as how most of them are pagan and that their leader Richard Spencer knows that traps aren't gay and the future to saving the white race. After realizing they were godless heathens and there were traps that would anally rape him Elthibar then decided to fuck off from the alt-Reich and there was much rejoicing. That was until he came right back to it. Elthibar then claimed that Richard Spencer was not the leader of the alt-right and that he is merely a hypocrite and that his friend in the alt-right told him it was a good Christfag movement. Thus proving that like misery retardation likes company.
Naturally this did not go unnoticed by the actual alt-righters on DA. The official alt-right group on Da released a statement on this matter telling him what most reasonable people would do; telling him to fuck off. They did their research, reading this very ED article, and thus know what a giant faggot he was and would more harm then good to the movement, well that and he genuinely had no idea what he was doing having only joined the alt-right a day ago but thinking he was now suddenly an expert on this. An archived copy of that post can be read here but it basically was a contemplation of sources and archives of him basically being a cuck. Such examples were being a huge Cruz-tard and Conservative United For Cruz and Kasich and how he hated Donald Trump until fairly recently. His own admittance that he did not care if nigs and spics out-breed whites and replaced them as long as the nigs were good Christians. The fact he is on record for writing CP on Da, and the aforementioned fact he did not know and still denies Richard Spencer is the leader of the alt-right and a big part of it. This lead to even more lulz as he freaked out and started whining they weren't being nice to him and that they were just neo-nazis, once again showing he had no fucking clue what he was getting into.
The group proceeded to mock him for being a trend fag and not knowing what the alt-right stood for and calling the group neo-nazis when before he was sucking up to one of those so called "Neo-Nazis" once again showing how loyal he was. What made this even funnier is that Elthibar thought he would reform. That's right, somehow in his autistic mind he thought he'd somehow convince the ENTIRETY of the Alt-Right to stop listening to Spencer and listen to some asspie from Missouri who wants to make them all alt-light and love kikes and niggers. This once again made much laughter at his expense as his reform plans were less then stellar. finally when he was mocked for the fact he wanted to replace his demographic with spics and niggers since they were more godly Elthibar had enough. He fucked off from the alt-right and there was much rejoicing. Well at least for a bit. In a bit he ironically added the same person he called a Neo-Nazi and condemned to his watch list. So like most thing Eltibar did not learn his lesson and only a good push down the stairs can solve that.
Back to the Alt-Right
So despite all of this the tard did not learn his lesson. Last Thursday Missouri Patriot took a selfie of himself dressed in the garb of his people and asking if they have a place in Sweden. Spoiler; they don't nor do they have a place in the rest of the world. This sparked the attention of DA's Nazis and alt-right once again sensing it was time to clean the gene pool. Most important among these being Der-Himmelstern Da's most prominent only Nazi and proved that he was the hero we need but did not deserve. He called Michael out on his kikery causing another great sperg but what happened next would be very important for history.
The Belgian waffle red pilled the autist on the kikes but being an autistic kike himself he only took part of this in. Then after blocking Himmel for raping him on the Holocaust being a Jewish hoax Elthibar made an announcement. He would join the Alt-right... again. He blocked everyone in the alt-right, hated most of its leaders, and was a kike but he nonetheless was alt-right again. Only problem was now he was anti-semitic. This alone may make you scratch heads on why he would be anti-semitic after he admitted he was a kike but dear reader it gets worse. Not only was he anti-semitic and hated the kikes he still supported Israel as a Jewish state, still claimed to have Hebrew blood, and still claimed he was not anti-semitic. This caused much confusion for everyone as none of these things make sense especially when mixed together. As has repeatedly been told to him he pleased no one. Liberals hate him for obvious reasons, the far-left hates him for obvious reasons but people from his own camp now had different reasons to hate him. The alt-light now hated him since he was trying to name the Jew and posting le happy merchant memes. The alt-right still hated him since he was still a kike and a Zionist shill pushing the Israel is our greatest ally meme and lecturing people not to fall into identity politics despite the fact that was the fucking point of the alt-right to begin with.
Hilariously he tried to juggle his pro-kike views and alt-right views of the same time which created much lulz for everyone to laugh at. Such examples of this was claiming that kikery was only limited to one sect of Jews he did not like (the Haredi) and every other kike was his based schlomo. He called these specific sects the synagogue of Satan and keep in mind while he is saying this he is still a kike and pro-Israel. Every time an actual alt-righter would point out that Israel and the kikes are against white advocacy or are blatantly anti-white he would come up with some quick excuse on why based Schlomo is our greatest ally and that Israel dindu nuffin.
To make things worse for him as we pointed out he never left his alt-light views. He kept trying to placate others by claiming every five seconds he wasn't a racist or that he loved Jews, spics, and niggers for they are all one in god. Only to have him complain about one of these groups later. One strange thing that he did to show how not racist he was, was post a picture of some Chink he once dated as a "TAKE THAT RACISTS." This again did nothing to help his problems with the alt-right as they just mocked him for having yellow fever and being a race mixing degenerate while those who still hated him didn't care if he was fucking a chink or monkey. It was also rather unfortunate that at this time the 56% face meme was coming out causing both people on left and right to collectively mock him for being a racial sub-human mutt.
Elthibar would routinely get his assraped by actual people from the alt-right with a healthy dosage of calling them a "white supremacist." This only made them mock him more but fear not. Missouri showed us autism knows no limits. Despite hating Nazis and the evil white supremacist (he showed kindness and courtesy to niggers so he was based) he decided to show that he wasn't one by supporting Nazi party, one in Canada specifically http://archive.is/rBane . Due to his autism Lord Elthibar did not check the actual platform of the god damn party and just saved its png file of their symbol and sent it to DA expecting good boy points. This lead to yet another rape on by tartlet Yamallama a canuck who decided that he should waste his time trying to educate the tard. was called out for supporting a party that was famous for being Anti-zionist. You know the one thing he supports more then anything? Not doing any research on the party, and back peddling on the Holocaust itself. "Fear not for he would change his mind to shill for the kikes eventually. Perhaps in the most lulz worthy example Yamallama called him out for being a kike to which the autist admitted his Jewish blood had become his burden and shame. OY VEY but that's okay since http://archive.is/WEbuE Israel has the most based Jews so they can be trusted.
Despite also being Jewish he also still keeps up being a good (((Christian))) with Judeo-Christian values. With the only issue that he would betray his nation in a second for his faith. Despite him bitching about people putting I am an X before an American he does not hold the same standards for himself. Admitting that he holds his faith to God and Christ above his nation and that he is a Christian before an American. Now some would call him a hypocrite for bitching at Musfags and kikes who do the same but you see it is different for Missouri Patriot. He got called out on this one that he's not really a fucking nationalist is he is more concerned about pleasing his Judeo-Christian god and admits he holds it above his nation itself.
Eventually last Thursday he left the alt-right again after people kept raping him. These varied from calling him out on being a kike, to him supporting race mixing, or any of what was listed above. http://archive.is/dvJ8U An archived copy can be read here. Like a true idiot he admits he misses the alt-light (despite the fact he never really left it) yet still calls himself a (((white nationalist))). To prove he is a white nationalist his Spic friend Romulan gives him words of encouragement on why Spics like him should be able to splooge all over the feet of white women but don't worry this guy is part of kekistan so he's fucking based :DDDDDDDD:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD . Before leaving it he called them white SJWs for actually caring more about white identity and fixing it then him. Not learning his lesson he is now making an autistic South Park fanfiction where Kyle is basically his self insert.
The Radical Racial Centrist
Despite him desperately trying to convince people that his 56% ass is white it did not take long for that to fall apart. It got so bad that a faggot had to call him out for this also RIP Cutie-Spainard may he rest in peace for tard wrangling). The tard would admit in this thread that we need to support GREATEST ALLY and not supporting the Jews is throwing the white race under the bus. Which is rather ironic since he claimed he stopped being a white nationalist, the thing he larped as for about a year since they would not shill Israel and they were too "socialist" for him. He keeps calling himself a "neocon peloconservative" which he claims is far right.
This is fine since he claims that being far right is what he defines it as not what other people define it as. This is funny as his far right seems to be shilling for based black men that agree with him, shilling Jews, and advocating for radical civic nationalist. Its almost like he's LARPING. To avoid these claims he calls it "cultural nationalism" which is literally just a synonym for civic nationalist as that is what civic nationalism is. All it really does is make people hate him as he calls himself far right when he's just your average republican and he doesn't understand why people hate him.
The radical centrist thing is not just a meme. He claims to be "center alt right" and le radical centrist. His Jewry cannot be contained as he shills for his based Turks and Arabs to stay within Germany. Though totally not a civic nationalist and he is radical and far right and cool, he will allow based Turks and sand nigger to stay in Germany if they are as based as him. The only thing he had in reply to this was yelling at the trap that called him out that being a trap was worse than allowing Turks and Arabs to chimp out in Germany not realizing that traps are not gay. His reasoning is more retarded according to him he did a 180 on the turk roaches and sand niggers since they are highly conservative, reactionary and homophobic like him. So he thinks that their homo hating ways will save the white race... by replacing them with Arabs. One may point out that his argument that homos ruin the white race kinda fall flat when he advocates for mass immigration of BASED Turks but never question Elthibar. He graduated college and he is so proud of that fact he will brag about it so there. Only thing that can be said for certain is that the only thing he really hates are the gays.
Things that Elthibar hates
- Blacks and Hispanics (because they have pre-marital sex and will soon outnumber white people)
- The DeviantART staff For being "Anti-Christian" and banning his friends
- Donald Trump
- Encyclopedia Dramatica He thinks this site is srs bsns
- Having common sense
- The Irish (he even burned their flag in public)
- Jews (even though he might be one)
- Mocha despite asking for forgiveness multiple times and wishes to kiss her clit
- Other religions that aren't his own
- Palestinians
- Pre-marital Sex (because it leads to more abortions)
- Thinking
Quotes
—Elthibar's dad(who turned out to be a prime example of excellent parenting) telling him to fuck off. |
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Gallery
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The average drawing by this manchild.
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Perhaps he should read a bit more on The Tea Party and terrorism and how similar they are to each other?
See also
- abortion
- Alex Jones
- Autism
- Christianity
- Conservatives
- Disney
- Egomaniac-monster The attack article he made(don't read if you want to keep your IQ above 85)
- Faggot
- Gays
- Libertarians
- Pewdie-Pinkiepie Just like LordElthibar, except he's a Horsefucker and wants to fuck pewdiepie.
- Preachingthegospel
- Tea Party
- Truthers
- Worldwide Masonic Conspiracy
- Xiao-Feng-Fury The black female version of LordElthibar
External links
- Elthibar Add this sick fuck to your contacts to fuck with him.
LordElthibarPerma b&MissouriPatriotb&pentecostalfalangistself deactivated after it was pointed out that the name is completely contradictory as Falangism is Catholic centered.mgavin.kleinHis Facebook, now privated/deleted.ElthibarofCoronaHis JewTube channel, now bawleeted.- SaxonEaldorMan His political alt JewTube channel.
Missouri Patriot His political Google+ account, notice the follower count.Google+ is no longer a thing- Michael Gavin Klein Where he moved after his dicking, also nice name faggot.
- His fanfics Linking to CP is illegal, you don't wanna take a seat too, do you?
- Kristoff and Anna's adventure series Wiki His Wiki page dedicated to his shitty fanfics, hardly active in recent times.
/cow/ thread(now lost to time, thanks Cloudflare!)
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Lordelthibar | Succeeded by Doctor Who |