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Littlefag

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Note: this is an article about an Encyclopedia Dramatica user. To leave this user a message, please visit User_talk:Andrew_Littlefair.

Littlefag failing to look cool
Littlefag gives Ass Vegan a good morning kiss


Littlefag on the Town

‎

Littlefag as he looks today earning his booze from a deviant

Update: Owing to Andrew Littlefair's prediliction towards:

black person cut-price non generic brand cider.

Ruining the credit score of every partner he's ever had.

Eating huge amounts of black person (delishus chickinz).

Living in a black person, in which he isn't a complete and utter pointless waste of space.

black person non-stop to friends, family and whatever farm animal type he's dating.

black person anything he can get his hands on to support his cut-price drink habbit.

black person his poor ickle children.

Fucking ugly fat white chicks up the shitter.

black person from shops.

Having a criminal rap sheet long enough to wallpaper his favourite prison cell.

Fapping to cp.

He has been charged with being a black person. May Lawdy Lawdy have mar-say on his (lack of) soul!


Littlefag (who uses the name Littlefair since he's too fucking pathetic to actually come up with a pseudonym) is an alchoholic sad ass deadbeat dad on the dole and self-proclaimed "King of the Trolls" despite the fact that he has the technical skills of a mentally retarded ring-worm riddled seven year old girl. His wife (who only married him because he knocked her up) threw him out, probably because he drinks too much to be able to maintain an erection. Either that or she got tired of hearing how great he was while supporting his lazy ass while he sat home watching Eastenders reruns, surfing for gay porn, and stalking Cyberfluff and Christopher Walken. He now spends his days crying for attention on the Internet and harassing women for sex when he isn't sucking off tramps for beer money. When he's not doing this he's busy with some scam or another trying to raise the cash for his next ISP bill and cheap cider.

Littlefag (tinyghey) is known to suffer from multiple psychological problems, including paranoia and depression. It is believed that the root of his depression stems from elation at finally growing a pubic hair but then realizing it was just his first erection. This is all speculation since even drunk, desperate homosexual men are known to assume the fetal position (with their backs to the wall) at the thought of Littlefag naked. Women always vomit, but this is good as the added lubricant can get even the most dysfunctional penis into the most jaded gash.

Ambition (singular)

His ambition for the near future is to become the 'Grinch', as within his mulitple personality disorder complex this will allow him to disassociate himself from his toy stealing activities that enable him to purchase unbranded store's own booze.

The reason he seeks to disassociate himself from these activities is not altruistic, it's simply so he doesn't have to waste much needed brain power on anything other than booze and fat old camwhores.

With Christmas fast approaching, Littlefag is no doubt rubbing his thieving hands together in (ch)impish glee at the thought of all that swag to be had. Unfortunately, their father's 'toys for booze' shenanigans will probably be fail this year, as local households and Littlefag's long suffering children are maintaining a 24hr guard on their Christmas trees....Drat, he's been foiled again.

  • Update - Christmas has come and gone and no sign yet of any stolen 'toys for booze' antics. With expectations being so high that Littlefag will still make a drunken staggering appearance as a comedy pantomime villain (think Hamburgler only moar shitfaced), bet takers are pressing for a 24hr webcam to be focused on all potential swag. Christmas traditionalists have welcomed this idea, yet suggest other festive 'lookouts' too, such as birthdays, easter and the last few days before welfare is payed out.
  • UPDATE CHRISTMAS 2008:

We have received unconfirmed reports that Littlefag has spread his vile net of theft and visited Finland. The following was reported by the old media Swedish 'news'paper Expressen:

In this case a Christmas buffét and Christmas beer for 30 people that a family in Åbo Finland had stored overnight on their balcony.

According the Åbo police department's Harri Savolainen

Quote: "Stolen Christmas tree and presents we hear about almost every year but I can't remember a case of stolen Christmas food. What a brazen and shameless way to get food for your Christmas table."

  • UPDATE CHRISTMAS 2010:

Littlefag's pathalogical need for even moar non-generic cut price supermarket own brand booze had lead him to cast his fiendish net even further afield this year.

BURLINGTON (CBS) — $15,000 worth of toys were stolen Saturday from the Toys for Tots program.

http://boston.cbslocal.com/2010/12/19/hundreds-of-toys-for-tots-donations-stolen/

Quote: "Police say about 1,500 toys were stolen from the locked POD between 2:30 a.m. and 6 a.m. Saturday. It appears the toys were sorted through and only toys valued between $15 and $30 and for children 8 and up were taken, police say."

Littlefag's "Life"

Littlefag's old "trademark"

Littlefag's life consists solely of proclaiming himself great on the Internets and drinking other people's booze. He thinks he's slick, using alts on sites that have already banned him, despite the fact that his lack of even grade school level mastery of written English gives him away. And even if it didn't, the use of the same stupid gif as his "trademark" in every garbled post gives him away. In short, he is to trolling as Jerry Jackson is to flash animation, except that Jerry Jackson isn't even a real person.

Littlefag makes Heather Mills-McCartney look like a paragon of truth telling virtue.

Littlefag's Christmas card to his adoring fan 'Blondie': The riches Littlefag has reaped from his nonexistant consultancy business, this year

Kingdom of Loathing

Littlefag plays Kingdom of Loathing as Littlefair (#859570) probaby because the game is almost as lame as he is. In his ongoing quest to be internets popular he has started a new scam clan with the goal of getting peeps to donate items and meat to him. He claims it is to reimburse ppl that have been scammed the same way that televangelists claim that sending them all your money helps God. Scamming for game currency and items is apparently a step down for Littlefag. His scammer clan web page is at kolantiscammersleague.googlepages.com/antiscammersleague. He struck on the scam idea after being totally pwnt by H4ZZ4 and whining for days about loosing 20k in imaginary meat. He also uses his "scammer" list to slander ppl that he has tried to sucker but who caught on.

Multis

  1. (creatively enough) Riaffeltil (#1274528)
  2. AntiScammers_League (#1312303)

Updates

After offering a bounty on members of Clan C.A.F.F.E.I.N.E, clan C.A.F.F.E.I.N.E retaliates by offering to keep hippystones broken for a commission on the bounty. Clan C.A.F.F.E.I.N.E sends messages to all winners of pvps inviting them to contact Littlefair for their 7500 meat. No meat has been paid to any player who successfully pvp'd those with bounties.

As of June 25th, Littlefair leaves the Anti-Scammers League and joins new clan, Bugrom Nation. Running scared perhaps?

It is also rumored that Littlefair has scammed Mr. Accessories and Mr. Ehs from players because he's too poor to donate the $10.00 to Kingdom of Loathing to earn them the honest way. How else would a chav manage to get an accessory that is rewarded when donating in Canadian dollars? Nevermind. See Canuck Abroad forum profile. LMFAO.

The Local

Littlefag continues to return to his original stomping grounds at The Local under assumed names despite being repeatedly banned, hated by everyone (including his oldest friends), and outing himself within his first three posts as a result of being unable to fake basic command of the English language. He continues to contribute profound declarations like "Americans are fat" and bemoan the absence of Littlefair. This provides the most lulz when he denies being Littlefair and then justifies the actions of Littlefair, such as banning users who don't embrace the "Littlefag as God" policy of Swenglish.

Local Socks

  • PrinceKnight/Bee/Craicher/Cracker/Harry Potterling
  • Bellshazzar
  • offtostockholm
  • Samuel L. Jackson (Fags on a Plane, Snakes on a Forum or Ghey Snakes on a Forum About Planes), the saddest alt used so far. e.g Asking that littlefag's name not be mentioned again...when it has'nt been at all. This is littlefag's drama whore alt.
  • Zen444 (Will the real Zen444 please stand up?)
  • Darren H.
  • Snooker Loopy
  • aljamarkir (Posting tales of lonely xmas woe)
  • Are We Still On This? (pretending not to be the butthurt Billy-No-Mates poster)
  • LOL Cow
  • Heavy Dog Lover, The Cock Edam Kid, Large Bird Admirer

(all met death by dreaded banhammer)

Swenglish

For an example of his vaunted technical prowess, see Swenglish. If it happens to be up that day. It's a good thing that you can buy canned phpBB hosting otherwise the world would never have been graced with the joy that is this festering pit of Internet drama.

Oh, and you're welcome for the free advertising, I'm sure we're earning you many forum members to cherish.

Blogger

Unfortunately the fantastic literary stylings of the Swenglish Littlefair blog have been lost to humanity as it was deleted in a fit of pique after being profoundly butthurt from his public spanking on Encyclopedia Dramatica. Losing the epic paean to the "Sociapath" and loving odes to beer is a true tragedy for all mankind.

IRC

Littlefag stinks up IRC on irc.slashnet.org in the #swenglish and #the channels under the nicks littlefair and alittlefair. It was originally intended that #the be "#the hole" but Littlefag's tenuous grasp of all things technological led to him being unable to figure out any possible way to get "hole."

LJ

Littlefag can currently be seen anonymously commenting ED admin LJs anonymously calling himself the KING OF TROLLS. He has trolled us very hard with such tearjerking statements as TOU READY YET BITCH? YOU WANNA BE THE NEXT TO SUCK MY DICK? i AM AFRAID OF YOU ....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH I DONT GIVE A FUCK I OPENED THE FORUM AND LINKEDYOU. SUCK ON MY BALLS WHORE AND SUCK THEM HARD. (sic)

Some argue that he really is trolling well by trolling in such a shitty way. See hipster irony for how this makes sense.

For more lulzy examples of how not to troll:

Other Sites

In addition, Littlefag makes appearances on MySpace, SexualForums.com, Torrentspy, and Kingdom of Loathing, where he continues to display the same creativity in selecting user names.

The Wife

Littlefag tries to humiliate his wife on the Internet "This is the Brunshaw Bike! Littlefair ex-wife serenades us. Would you do this woman over a wheelie bin? I wouldn't..but I know a few who did!"

Gee what a charming way to talk about his baby-mama! "See the face that spawned a thousand webpages. Yes it's her....Same girl...different vid. This is the troll who charmed/blew the men of Burnley into providing for all your Littlefair ED lulz...the ex-wife!Permanently pregnant with some rugged alcoholic's baby or other. This is what they look like in Burnley."

While the ED consensus is that we've fapped to better, she's certainly good enough for /b/ and Littlefair has been moving progressively down the ladder, not up. Super-seekrit ED spiez report that the IP address that posted these videos to YouTube is the same as used by Unicorngore. Littlefair or his Scottish Cow? You decide!

Tawdry Cyberaffairs

Cyberfluff

Cyberfluff at work
The Littlefag family pet after Cyberfluff finished with it

Cyberfluff is the reason that Littlefag's wife threw him out. On Valentine's day while he was drunk and unconcious, she seduced him and sent recordings of the ensuing phone sex to his wife with a note that said "how's that for erectile dysfunction, bitch?" Littlefag's much maligned wife then realized that he wasn't actually impotent, just witholding (bad)sex, and promptly threw his lame ass out, seized all his assets (two Nintendo games that he hadn't had a chance to sell for booze and a much used copy of Busty Tarts Wearing Leather), and began to party like Paris Hilton.

After Littlefag loudly proclaimed his undying love for Cyberfluff and even turned emo vegan to impress her he confessed his consumption of a hamburger and lack of financial stability. The cruel, heartless Cyberfluff gave him the boot and proceeded to get Littlefag banned from everywhere on the Internet by filing abuse reports consisting of "OMG! stalker!!! :cry: :cry: :cry:" and sucking site admin's cocks. That wasn't enough and still unable to overcome her passion for Littlefag's craggy teeth and manly football yob personality, Cyberfluff became even more vindictive, clogging up the tubes with ghey Emily Dickinson and DH Lawrence poems. Reeling from the furious rejection and in need of consolation, Littlefag turned to the married Christopher Walken for comfort.

Despite Littlefag being unfairly banned and maligned and lied about, he soldiered bravely on in the face of adversity, starting up Swenglish, the coolest bestest ever forum on the whole Internets. Cyberfluff, never satisfied and still livid at being scorned in favor of the smarter, prettier Christopher Walken, began trolling Littlefag's precious new forum disguised as Googlebot.

Christopher Walken

Littlefag gets a lapdance from e-whore Christopher Walken
Littlefag tells all

Littlefag took up with Christopher Walken after being summarily dismissed by Cyberfluff on account of being poor, jobless, and stupid. By the end of the Great Gothenburg Debacle of 2006, Christopher Walken and Littlefag were professing their love and adoration for each other semi-publicly in IRC and flirting openly on Swenglish despite the fact that Christopher Walken is married with two children and living in Sweden.

After spending a total of approximately eight whole hours together IRL, for most of which they were drunk, Littlefag and Christopher Walken decided that a second clandestine meeting was necessary to actually achieve penetration as Gothenburg had been inundated with a bunch of meddling nerds and not conducive to carrying on a discreet affair. (Of course the fact that Littlefag chose to tell everyone on the internets about it in no way diminished the need for discretion.)

A minor hitch in the plan was that Littlefag was unemployed and flat-ass broke, but not to be stopped, he just went ahead and funded his little international jaunt with his friend's paycheck. Much drama and many lulz ensued when his friends finally had enough of being lied to and ripped off and hijacked his blog to post a "confession" of sorts.

Littlefag continues to announce his plans to move to Sweden and take up residence with Christopher Walken. Since he has no job, no skills, and no bankroll, inquiring minds want to know how Christopher Walken's husband feels about putting up an unemployed alcoholic in the guest room and supporting his drinking habit while Littlefag fucks his wife - badly.

Update: It has been reported that Christopher Walken's husband discovered her illicit liason with her Burnley beau and proceeded to call her entire family and tell them what a cheating whore she is. Despite her husband's insistance that she break off contact with Littlefag and her protestations of having done so, she has continued to post on Swineglish. Uh oh. Does hubby know?

Update 2: What with his prediliction towards cut-price non-generic cider, deep fryed fast-food,

The Scottish Cow

For his part, Littlefag has posted several gratuitous missives about his recent sexcapades with what can only be a fat, ugly, blind, deaf, retarded, and oversexed scottish vixen. It is considerably more likely that his new paramour is an imaginary sheep.


The Best Of

Despite the fact he had NO JOB TO GO TO, was subject to an increasingly fail marriage and is a desperate alcoholic, wrote on one forum: 

Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 4:28 pm    Post subject: So Lots of people want jobs

Then why instead of sitting around complaining on here all day about why you dont have a job dont you go out and look for one. 
It's o.k. sitting and blaming eveyone else for your lack of employment but the truth is if your sat on the local all day nobody's
going to ring you and say hey I was wondering if you would like a job now are they. Or are you hoping that some potential employer
will read this forum and think to himself I know I'll offer these people a job. News flash people that wont happen. Do you want to
know why? Cos they have jobs and things to do with their lives. Get out there and look thats the best way and if you dont get a job
go out morning till night everyday untill you do have one.

And when challenged for being a fail internets addict with no job, replied: 

Wed Nov 30, 2005 4:31 pm    Post subject: 

No my friend I sit at home and charge £300 an hour consultancy fees and I don't live in sweden.

I live comfortably now but should I ever find myself out of work I would work for McDonalds rather than be unemployed. 
Some might say the work would be degrading but I would be contributing and earning money so how could it be?

The only accurate information to be gleaned from any of these posts is: Littlefag does not live in Sweden or have a job.


(Quote links may be defunct, depending on whether he has broken his forum yet again.)


Littlefag's Death of Swineglish Broadcast Email: 

Well it was fun, then it wasn't.  Then it was again... Then I came to the realisation I really
don't give a crap about some numpty ass forum when my life is more interesting than anything
anybody writes here. To all that care I have moved on. To all that don't .... Well for the
last time Fuck You from me. :)


External Links


Featured article August 26, 2006
Preceded by
Gorgeous George 		Littlefag Succeeded by
Metawire
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