Neotomi

Warning!
This article contains severe acne and Neopets faggotry.

THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ.

BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.

Tomi Zandshtein amidst a peaceful view of Israel.

Jesus Christ, his characters, there's over 9000!

Emerging from his hoards of asskissers on Neopets and Newgrounds comes Neotomi, an Israeli self-titled animator/cartoonist who is apparently one of the greatest comic artists in his country. When he's not busy masturbating to Gwen Stefani and Avril Lavigne, he'll be shoveling comics onto deviantart or making journals about super awsum trivia of his 246 or so characters. This is because Tomi is convinced he's the only person on deviantart with imagination, meaning people who don't appreciate his humor have no artistic understanding.

Unlike a lot of artists who have gained their popularity from raeping Disney characters or anime, Tomi's claim to e-fame was making a Neopets webcomic, which gradually evolved into Neopets animations. Neopians embraced his series, lapped up the unoriginal punch lines, and begged for more...apparently.

Upon visiting his Neopets user page, you'll immediately be greeted by size 77 font to match his enormous ego. His profile is a load of drivel about his BEST ANIMATION EVAR, how he made it and of course an FAQ, making sure he gets across the message that only important people may contact him.

Like the majority of people on deviantart, Tomi can't stand any form of critique, constructive or not. This is mainly because he takes it as an insult, rather than a polite word of advice on how he can improve. Luckily for him, there aren't too many critics who would waste their time on him in the first place. Even though his art style is supposed to be simple and cartoony to fit the quantity of his comics, he has been known to make journals about how he wishes the wild and wonderful ideas in his head can make it on to paper. Strangely, he hasn't twigged that actually grasping the idea of perspective and anatomy may mean those dreams of his can come to life. The talented artists on deviantart aren't restricted to one style because they've actually taken their time to develop a range of techniques. But Tomi is far to up himself to take advice. His way is the only way.

HAPPY ENDINGZ

Because Neotomi created the concept of love and revenge, he decided to take characters from a family friendly website and make a series of animations about usuls cheating on each other. Like most unoriginal fan fiction, the storyline is ridiculously unrealistic and unnecessarily complicated thanks to the author's desperate attempt to make drama, emotion and suspense. But since when do people on deviantart judge others for their unoriginality?

The Series

No need for a description; the song choices say enough.

Happy Endings Part 1 (Mcfly - That Girl)
Happy Endings Part 2 (New Found Glory/Backstreet Boys - I want it that way)
Happy Endings Part 3 (Simon & Milo - Get A Clue)
Happy Endings Part 4 (Coldplay - Yellow)
Happy Endings Part 5 (Gwen Stefani - Bubble Pop Electric)
Happy Endings Part 6 (Backstreet Boys - The Call)
Happy Endings Part 7 (Avril Lavigne - Happy Ending)
Happy Endings Part 8 (Avril Lavigne - Swkater Boi
Happy Endings Part 9 (Spice Girls - Wannabe)
Happy Endings Part 10 (Groove Coverage - Moonlight Shadow)
Happy Endings Part 11 (Three Doors Down - Kryptonite)
Happy Endings Part 12 (Martika - Toy Soldiers)

Characters

Yellow the Usuki Usul is the most popular of Tomi's creations because she is a neopet. If you don't know this, then you're not a loyal fan, yet if you (in any context) refer to the fact that she IS indeed a neopet you'll face the 'BUT SHE IS MY CHARACTER NOW' rant. He might even mention Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which is completely irrelevant to copyright violation. She was created to be a popular, quirky, attractive superstar, but thanks to the ever so famous Happy Endings series, she is nothing more than a dirty slut. In most pictures she is shown to have vibrant purple and green hair which is the original design created by Neopets. Because Neotomi is a God at improvising, he took away the green streaks in her hairdo and removed her squirrel-esque tail. Voila! Original Character-Ahoo. She appeared in Tomi's grand animation entitled 'so much'. It can be found here, (for if you ever plan on wasting 4 minutes of your life watching badly animated neo-squirrels falling down buildings while lip syncing an over-rated pop song with their growing and shrinking mouths).

Right the Usul is one of the prominent characters in Happy Endings and is one of Yellow's ex-boyfriends. They could still be together, but the series lost me after 20 seconds of eye burning line art. Right was created to be an outright player, and was apparently composed after Tomi listened to one too many Mcfly songs. The character has a useless, bland and forgettable personality. He's also been mistaken for a chick.

Right's attire is just a denim jacket, grey shirt, and a hardcore red bandana, after all, that's what all the cool kids wear in Tel Aviv. We can only assume that he's supposed to be a Zac Efron of the Neopian world, as he sings and plays acoustic guitar like most of the characters in camp rock.

Kevin the Usul first appeared in one of Tomi's Neopet comics a long, long time ago, but only for the happy endings series did he become an animated character. He is a whiny emo faggot who loves nothing more than hanging out in milkshake bars and listening to AFI. In episode 2 of Happy endings, he is seen to be crying in his bedroom because he got pwned by his crackwhore girlfriend. Any guy who is depicted in a scenario involving Avril Lavigne and Spice Girls songs can hardly have a masculine reputation.

Furfag fans of Tomi worship Kevin and voted for him to be drawn in his underwear. The flash game/animation can be seen here.

Becky the Usul is a pop punk loving whore who was inspired by the song 'Sk8r Boi' by Avril Lavigne (surprise, surprise). She is the skankiest of all the characters and ttly took yellow's place as Kevin's girlfriend. Even Neotomi describes her as bitchy, which is really strange because he usually goes batshit insane if you say anything remotely negative about his immaculate creations. Her full bio is here.

The Character Factory

Due to his completely delusional state of mind, Tomi decided to team up with a programmer called Matthew Wettstein ( his deviantart http://peanutbutterninja.deviantart.com/ ) and create what he thought would be the most successful game on the face of the internet; The Character Factory (www.character-factory.com) - A game which allows you to take Tomi's amazingly mediocre drawing ability and create your own character! He assumed this site would be a huge success, his target audience being 13 year old's on forums that want a cartoon avatar of themselves.

The website even includes a Terms and Conditions which clearly claims that "You agree not to Advertise or sell any products, services or characters,logos,or anything made on character-factory.com", as if anyone could make money off of his horrible creations. The Terms and Conditions also include some obscure rules such as "5. Impersonate any person or entity or misrepresent your identity or affiliation with any person or entity;".

To further the failure of the site, It also has a forum, which now has no boards at all, but statistics show that at its peak it has 12 members online.

File:Whine.PNG

OMG HOW DARE U LYK MY STUFF WITHOUT BEIN AN ASSKISSER

The lack of success that the site has faced is even funnier due to the amount of hype Tomi dedicated to it. The site was published on July 26th 2008. Beforehand, starting on September 4th 2007, Tomi submitted to his Deviantart account, under the screen shot section, pictures of characters made with the flash game and adding in the authors comments "Hmmm... I look weird here, don't I? I wonder how come. Maybe it's cus I never wear red pants? I also wonder why this is in the screenshots section?", A true marketing genius.

He also made foreshadowing towards the site in his Hebrew comic strip "Geektopia", a horrible gaming comic from a guy who admittedly claims that he's not much of a gamer and that all he plays is basically The Sims, Sims City and of course, Roller Coaster Tycoon.

To recap, he hyped the site for 10 MONTHS, yet still managed to receive minimal attention, causing frustration and sadness in his empty, aching heart.

Closet Furfaggotry?

Ashamed of being a furry, Tomi created a separate account to display his anthro characters. He used a secret identity, putting his name as 'T' (woah, super mysterious) and his residence as somewhere in the US. The account has been abandoned for about 3 years, but the gallery is still intact. Instead of stealing his ideas from Neopets, Tomi made a Tigress/bear character called Betty (because he's never used that name before, you see) and, to no surprise, made her a whore to provide fappable material for himself. Oddly, he claims to disapprove of interspecies relationships but has no problem drawing comics that suggest tigers getting it on with wolves. Hypocrite, much?

Shattering his Ego

Even comments that aren't supposed to be offensive annoy Neotomi, but if you really want to get on his bad side...

Give constructive critique on his artwork
Tell him his humor is lame
Stereotype his nationality
Use the word 'Damn'
Say something negative about his characters
Criticize his animation skills. Be sure to mention motion tweening
Accuse him of stealing punch lines
Ask him if he experiences super puberty.
Point out a mistake...like a typo
Question his magnificent logic

The Pet Patrol Revolution

Tame webcomics suck enough as it as, let alone a tame webcomic about Neopets. How these comics got so popular is beyond me, but I guess they somehow reached the standards expected on a lousy virtual pet site. The Pet patrol revolution was a weekly comic featuring all of Tomi's Neopets characters discussing such issues as cake, faeries and waka waka.

If you squint and tilt your head to the side, this may resemble something
Maybe it's the complete misuse of pronouns that threw me.
I hope he doesn't dress like that irl.
Oh...Delicious Cake. I get it.
Tomi mah boi!.
Nothing hurts more than realizing you fail at being an internet celebrity.

Unrealistic Expectations

With a team of virtual pets, several stolen ideas, humor as fresh as Ethiopian drinking water and a mallet for protection, Tomi is going to become the world's leading cartoonist.

	“	This is my ultimate goal and drea, to be a worldwide successful cartoonist. To have my own cartoon movies, TV shows, games, merchandise, and dare I say, AMUSEMENT PARK/s! I aim high but I truly beleive there's a chance I can acheive that, and htat's worth pursuing.	„

...Art work

Instead of being happy for his friends, Neotomi will bitch about being single.
Because gradient backgrounds take a lot of time and effort.
I always thought tidy line art was piss simple in Flash but I guess I was wrong.
Uh...wow?
This is a traced over self photo.
AWWWH KAWAIII =^___^=
Even though he used Yellow's copyrighted design which rightfully belongs to Neopets, he's selling this as a print anyway. According to Tomi, it isn't against the rules because she's actually a squirrel hybrid
It looks more like she's about to fire nipple lazors or something.
This is what happens when you let a retard roam free on Photoshop.
A coffee shop in new York? With a character called Rachael? Never heard that one before.