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Nostalgia Chick
Lindsay Ellis aka Nostalgia Chick(NC) aka That chick getting hotdogs thrown in her face, is a former Channel Awesome contributor, Pop culture critic, Alcoholic, stoner and Tumblr-Tier Fantard Feminist.
Early Life
As a teen growing up in a redneck town in Appalachia, Lindsay was first exposed to the big wide world of the internet, likely through the proto-Tumblr, Live Journal, where she probably recieved 90% of her education about the world. Slowly it dawned upon her that she; a cultured and intelligent young girl, should not be trapped in the redneck town she was raised in. And instead should escape Appallachia, get a career, become a feminist, and make it her mission to show everyone how not racist she is, by uplifting the oppressed and lesser brown people. Through allowing them to date someone far outside their league; a white woman. She has a severe hatred for Disney and their princess lineup because of her repressed memories of her father rightfully anal rapping her as a child and took her (unjustified) rage out on fictional characters and other shit no one cares about and are not a big deal. Yet praises the overrated piece of Shit Frozen for having everything she hates about the characters that are not real and not true in the slightest and yet praises it like the hypocritical liberal/Nazi that she is.
So by the time she was out of college, learning about Film & Theatre, as well as completing her indoctrination into intersectional feminism, it was time to head off to the big city of NY, geographically her closest approximation of San Francisco, where she soon got her first taste of progressive high class culture, having lesbian sex with her room-mate Nella, and getting pregnant after getting wasted and civilizing many brown skinned men. Since the pregnancy threatened her entire plan of becoming a force for progressive and feminist change, she instead decided to use the subsequent abortion as a vehicle for her Graduate Film Project. ["The A-Word"]. A project fueled by narcissism, where forlorn location shots and exposition by Lindsay is given most of the budget, while interviews with others look like a phone interview inside a comic con hotel room.
That Guy with the Glasses (Now Channel Awesome)
The Nostalgia Critic had decided he would need a female counterpart to do comedic reviews for movies he found too "girly" and that might make him look sexist. So the call went throughout the internets for a "Nostalgia Chick" to which Lindsay responded, along with other competitors. After the contest, in which Lindsay performed what will go down in history books as the most amazing blowjob of all time, Lindsay (thedudette) was crowned the winner and new "Nostalgia Chick". Unfortunately for Lindsay, she had been told by the higher ups that she was to create lighthearted comedic reviews, and not Feminist critiques or hit pieces, and so for this job, Lindsay would be required to don a persona.
Since Lindsay had that girl-next-door look and was forced to suppress her real self and write jokes that weren't about the wage gap or manspreading, she ended up becoming quite popular on Channel Awesome, though at one point, she couldn't hold her inner feminist in check any longer and wrote an episode involving a Rapping Rapist, which she was forced to take down due to complaints. In one case a loyal fan decided to send her his very special work of art, and she quickly pondered quitting the internet.
During this period Lindsay entered into relationships with two men. The first was a CA Producer, Bhargav Dronamraju. Since it was likely his first time banging a white girl he decided to boast of his sexual accomplishments to his fellow Producers and others in CA. That a low-caste brown man might make light of her generous donation of high-born white poon shocked Lindsay, and she broke off the relationship immediately. In retaliation, the Producer began stalking Lindsay and spread a vicious rumor that she was a loosey goosey and would sleep with anyone, a rumor that still persists to this day.
The second man was none other than ToddintheShadows, Beta Male, fellow CA contributor and fellow musician. Who, at the possibility of average white girl pussy immediately shed all inner will and ego and became an omega male, directly controlled by Lindsays pussy. The relationship ended years later after Lindsay realized she could get him to pay rent, clean her up after her benders and dispose of her bloodied tampons without even needing to use the lure of sex anymore. He now merely spends his time telling everyone how fighting GamerGate was his greatest life accomplishment, while he drowns out the sound of Lindsay getting pounded from behind in the next room with his piano.
Chez Apocalypse
Lindsay, looking at the waning popularity of Channel Awesome, and now brimming with a massive and yet fragile ego which can only be cultivated on the internet, decided to gather some fellow LGBTQTPGBBQ friendly content creators and forge out on her own, with her own website, a better website, a more feminist website; Chez Apocalypse (LOL GET IT?!? CA = CA AHAHAHA ME SO FUNNY)
Unfortunately for her, the new project of her dropping the old persona and being her real self was not as nearly successful as she had hoped, despite the small loyal fanbase of furiously fapping beta nodders and e-drama feminists she had surrounded herself with, it turns out talking about Misogyny and Female Agency and Feminist values in dumb action blockbusters and kids films is fucking garbage(NO SHIT). The loss of income was palpable and forced her to resort to seeking out work in other places as an editor for Al Jazeera, TOR Books and 4Kids entertainment, as well as a writer for TheMarySue. By this time, Lindsay had fully embraced the tentacles of the social media SJW juggernaunt, which allowed her to network into jobs as these, and now runs Patreons both for her basically defunct website, as well as one for her personal use.
It goes without saying, telling her or any of her friends about you supporting GamerGate, SadPuppies or anything counter to the aims of the narcissistic SJW elite(ie: money, positive attention, sweet social networking link ups) will result in an instant block and possibly a dox from her fans depending on the severity of the support and how white and male you look or write. Lindsay fully supports the use of blockbots and comment thread locking and deletion in order to promote a critique free and Safe Space from anyone that might think that anything she shits out is not pure gold.
Recent
These days you'll find her desperately trying to cling to relevancy with her Feminist critiques on various websites, as well as attempting to keep the money rolling in by re-uploading all of her old Nostalgia Chick videos to youtube. She also regularly visits a therapist, likely for anxiety from liberal marijuana and alcohol abuse for being the most piss poor weak ass fainting feminist on the face of the earth. She also has a BIG thing for Tom Hardy, like she probably flicks the bean to him all the time, she'd probably never date a white guy, since it may make her redneck parents sigh with relief, a rape wouldn't be out of the question though, as long as you look like Tom Hardy. Since being a staunch Feminist, only through Rape would Lindsay allow the foul touch of the White Male; likely her secret sexual fetish.
She'll occasionally let drop on her social media feeds that she recently got an Indian exchange student living with her, like shes fucking Ghandi, despite not giving a fuck to help the millions of struggling students already living here. But really, shes not compensating. Anything she posts on social media will be completely vapid and usually meme and reference filled, interspersed with jabs at the area she grew up in, as well as Tumblr fangirling, she speaks a lot, but in reality rarely says anything informative or even interesting.
Lindsay unequivocally supports Kanye West as the next President of the United states, despite not knowing what his policies on anything may be, but she likes his music and he's black, so if she didn't support Kanye out of hand, then she may have looked redneck, racist and Republican; a past life she is desperate to run from at any cost.
She also harbors an irrational fear of Trump becoming President, and like most SJW's is convinced that when elected he will dissolve all branches of office, declare himself Furher, and then proceed to fire the entire US nuclear stockpile into every country with non-english speaking populations.
Lindsay And The Abortion That Is Fembusters
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Lindsay Ellis is Arrested
On August 12, 2017, in Johnson City, Tennessee, Lindsay drank too much hillbilly moonshine and started screaming at her family for being white. When police were summoned, Lindsay then began shrieking unintelligible Black Lives Matter talking points and lectured the police that they can't touch her because of her white privilege. Lindsay Ellis was arrested for public intoxication. She then began culturally appropriating Freddie Gray resistance techniques by repeatedly slamming her head and feet into the patrol car windows, forcing the officers to shackle her. Left
See Also
External Links
- thelindsayellis - Your chances of your twitter account being included in her blacklist bot are near to 100%. If not just ask Lindsay about her documentary about her abortion.
- chezapoctube - Her youtube channel. Expect lots of unfunny SJW preaching.
- chezapocalypse - Please gimme moniez you cismale scum
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Nostalgia Chick is part of a series on Dying Alone
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Nostalgia Chick is part of the TGWTG Circle-jerk
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