Beefrave
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This article is paid for by taxpayers like you. Thanks, America. |
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
If anyone were to come close to Jacknstock's level of persistent dickery, despite the unthinkable levels of Autism and pure stupidity required to do so, that man-child would be Beefrave.
Aaron S. Pawlowski (formerly Aaron Scott Worley) first signed onto ED IRC in April of 2011, after discovering the glory of Encyclopedia Dramatica via the temporary set-back that occurred around that time. Being straight out of 4chan, Beefrave began spending his jobless days spamming unfunny bullshit into IRC. At first he was believed to be a troll that refused to break character and left daumode always on. Unfortunately for him, his true colors were soon revealed as he was effectively trolled to the point of no recovery, constantly returning for more.
Beefrave is also an admitted pedophile, who, believing he was undoxable, openly admitted to owning a large folder of child pornography. At the same time, he spends many of his jobless days conversing with underage girls on Skype, some of which came back at him. It's strange, but quite hilarious, that he opted to take his wife's last name in marriage. His wife, Rachel Polackski, is his excuse for this behavior. Trapped in a loveless marriage to a ravenous snorlax, Aaron's only escape is to flirt and swap dick pix with 14 year old girls via Habbo Hotel. Constantly insisting to be a bbw lover, Beefrave refuses to admit that his current wife is the best he would ever do. Even worse, Rachel is the bread winner of the household, doing all the work just to keep her manchild safe from the dangers of the outside world. Take it to heart, folks... don't marry the first enormous cunt that let's you stick your dick in her twice. To describe him in as few words as possible, beefrave is a jobless, talentless loser that thinks he is the next best thing to come to the internet.
Creativity
Beefrave attempted to gain some sort of e-fame through his YouTube channel which consists of stolen meme remixes ran through Windows Movie Maker in order to bring the audio to ear-splitting decibels and the video altered to a blob of over contrasted colors making it obnoxiously unwatchable. Aaron has claimed on numerous occasions to be in partnership with Youtube. Given the fine care and effort put into each video, it is highly unlikely.
Reality
Lies
Beefrave is known for outrageous claims about his allegedly awesome lifestyle, which include but are not limited to:
Occupations:
- Was a firefighter pulled from wreckage during 9/11 (Beefrave was born in 1984, meaning he would have been 17, and in school, at the time)
- Was in the process of becoming a law enforcement officer.
- Worked for MTV and Adult Swim (no records indicate he has had a stable job in the past few years...or ever)
- Is an ED staff member (was immediately rejected)
Friends:
- Is being harassed by porn star James Deen.
- Was raised by a black man on the streets of Chicago (not making this one up)
- Is friends with Bam Margera and that they hang out on a regular basis
- Was at Ryan Dunn's funeral
Homes:
- Lives in Nevada (lives in New York)
- Owns a boat
IRL
Helping disabled black women
Despite regularly proclaiming his hatred for autists and niggers on the internet, Beefrave gladly assists Sheneequas find employment.
Arrested
In 2004, Beefrave was arrested after he and a buddy where able to somehow get ahold of an (unarmed) rocket launcher and decided it would be an awesome idea to wave it around in public.
Beefrave later added:
His calm and collected reason:
Round one
Moar info: Amber Buttrum.
The downhill spiral of Beefrave began after he was introduced to notorious 14-year-old (At the time) troll Mewen Brown. While sounding like a petite threat to any sane person, Mewen has perfected a way to bring grown men to tears through her army of aspies believing they are defending an innocent girl. Originally used as a weapon against Amber Buttrum, Mewen realized Beefrave's potential to be trolled and thus started the ruining of Aaron Pawlowski.
Beginning with exposing Beefrave as a "jobless faggot living with his fat wife's parents" Mewen's actions resulted in Beefrave escalating to such levels of butthurt that he phoned in the police on porn star James Deen, who's identity is utilized by Mewen, as well as known Autist Philip Gipson.
[10/28/2011 10:02:05 PM] Philip Gipson: James Deen and Mewen are on my side. [10/28/2011 10:02:09 PM] beef rave esq: NO THEY AREN T [10/28/2011 10:02:10 PM] beef rave esq: i am [10/28/2011 10:02:34 PM] Philip Gipson: You've no one to blame but you. [10/28/2011 10:03:02 PM] Philip Gipson: James Deen is my idol, and he'll always protect me. [10/28/2011 10:03:06 PM] beef rave esq: lol [10/28/2011 10:03:10 PM] beef rave esq: not from the cops. [10/28/2011 10:03:12 PM] beef rave esq: :) [10/28/2011 10:03:22 PM] beef rave esq: after the police csi read what you typed. [10/28/2011 10:03:25 PM] beef rave esq: and attempted. [10/28/2011 10:03:26 PM] Philip Gipson: Yes, he will. [10/28/2011 10:03:29 PM] beef rave esq: u are doing jail time lololol [10/28/2011 10:03:30 PM] beef rave esq: :)
Even after being told internet drama was irrelevant to people who handle actual crime, he later dialled the police again.
[1:15:51 AM] beef rave esq: what ever u say bud. all i have to say i s. enjoy. the police visit. [1:16:10 AM] beef rave esq: montgomery county sherrifs dept. servs dayton. which mean s they will be . [1:16:19 AM] beef rave esq: at you r house 13oo or 1pm . if you will [1:16:21 AM] beef rave esq: so [1:16:25 AM] beef rave esq: get ready
As a disgraced Dramatican
After being brutally trolled, no less by a 14-year-old girl, Beefrave attempted to redeem himself with a final attempt to join the cool kids club of ED. Needless to say, he was rejected and any privileges he had were quickly stripped. Believing the sysops didn't communicate, Beefrave tried to social ops from anyone who would give them, resulting in him being exposed as a career liar. By now, he is flattened with the Banhammer.
Chronicle.su
After his initial boot from ED, Aaron leeched onto chronicle.su, a mock news site that produces false articles like the death of Lil Wayne. It only took 4 months before Aaron's brain broke and his unbearable faggotry spewed into their domain. Immediately, users were aggravated to extreme levels and began referring to Aaron by his birth name. Noticing he wasn't getting his way, Aaron proceed to slam himself on the floor and pound his fists into the ground. Unable to cope with his unpopularity, Aaron attempted to delete everything. As usual, Aaron failed at the simplest of tasks and was promptly flattened with the banhammer.
For a quick rundown of the event that transpired, please check the pastebin: http://pastebin.com/1cCapm6b
BlogTalkRadio
As a last resort, Beefrave became a BlogTalkRadio host, hoping his last chance at e-fame would prove to be successful. Needless to say, his endeavors were far less fortunate than he had planned. The show is basically a 30 minute autistic circle jerk for beefrave and his two friends to fantasize how great their lives would be if they weren't completely incompetent morons. The show is 90% juvenile humor involving the anus, 5% lies about the money generated by the show and how cool his life is, and 5% beefrave saying he's not taking calls. This is unfortunate, as the only entertaining part of the 30 minute trip through Retardville would be some listener feedback. Funnier still, this travesty of radio has a commercial break where NOTHING PLAYS. Big surprise, no ad revenue for this fuckfest of retardation.
Every show follows the basic plan of:
- Beefrave attempts to be funny while repeating "butts" countless times
- Beefrave receives relentless trolling
- Beefrave cries and/or rages for the remainder of the show
Beefrave issues a death threat
2012-03-26 11:22:27 PM Radio HATE don't ***ing call in 2012-03-26 11:22:36 PM Radio HATE i'll kill you if you call in
Trolled by Rootbrian
As pathetic as the concept may seem, Beefrave's autism is at such a level that he was successfully trolled by known lolcow Rootbrian.
Beefrave vows to take down ED
07:59 &Meepsheep: beefrave = mad 07:59 beefrave: YOU JUST DONT LIEK YOU OWN MEDICINE FURRY 07:59 +lorentz: aw shit they have t shirts now http://i.imgur.com/7jiPE.jpg 07:59 +Zalgo: Title: [71.7 KB file, type: image/jpeg] (at i.imgur.com) 07:59 beefrave: AND ILL DO IT TO EVERYONE. 07:59 &Meepsheep: YOU JUST DONT LIEK YOU OWN MEDICINE FURRY 07:59 beefrave: AND ILL DO IT TO EVERYONE. 07:59 beefrave: AND ILL DO IT TO EVERYONE. 07:59 &Meepsheep: lmao 07:59 beefrave: AND ILL DO IT TO EVERYONE. 07:59 &Meepsheep: TAKING DOWN ED 07:59 --- beefrave is now known as WTFuxor47439 07:59 WTFuxor47439: YOU JUST DONT LIEK YOU OWN MEDICINE FURRY 07:59 WTFuxor47439: YOU JUST DONT LIEK YOU OWN MEDICINE FURRY
Sockfest 2012
Aaron's master plan to destroy ED once and for all involves the creation of sock accounts and shit posting the ED Forums until everyone quits. His socks are all the "victims" of his unique brand of "trolling" I.E repeating poorly written insults over 9000 times and passing out on the keyboard from smoking way too much Mexican dirt weed. The list grows everyday.
Socks and internet minions of Aaron Scott Pawlowski (maiden name Aaron Scott Worley)
- Ambear Buttrammer
- Tablecunt
- Takeysi
- beefrave's pimp
- beefrave's groupies
- beefrave fan
- ChrisCHANN
- beefrave's minion
List of People Trolled by Beefrave
List of People that have Trolled Beefrave
If you've ever disagreed with him, you're a troll...sounds very familiar, yes?
The Faces of Autism
-
If that isn't a face that indicates anal pain, I don't know what is. -
An attempt to relive his disappointing childhood? -
Not the only thing that goes in there -
Wanna-be hipster -
Your basic conversation with Aaron. Dau up until the end. -
There are no words to describe this. -
Hunting for that underage poon on Skype. -
He still thinks he's 12, for fucks sake. -
"I take pics of myself because no one else will." -
More spectacular lying from the master of autistic bullshit himself. -
Months after the whole thing, his butthurt persists. -
This is the shit shack Aaron and his fat, hungry wife live in. It's pathetic.
Contact
- Tele: (315) 487-4872
- Cell phone: (315) 727-6807
- E-mail: [email protected]
- Home Address: 4897 Grolier Rd Syracuse, NY 13215-2252
- Education (or lack thereof): Paul V Moore High School (class of 2002)
- Age: 28, born 1984
- Skype: beef rave esq
- Wife:
- Rachel L Pawlowski
- Mother-in-law:
- Susan C Pawlowski
- Father-in-law:
- Edward D Pawlowski
See Also
- CIGARSEX - His forced meme from EDF2
- RedMachineD - Similar story
- ShardDax - Another similar story
- Disgraced Encyclopedia Dramaticians
His Facebook- His wife's Facebook-Bawwwwleeted
beefrave_ - his Twitter
His YouTube (most videos are private because he is afraid of trolls)- Attempts at self-promotion on Wikipedia
- Sockpuppeteer
- His LinkedIn profile. It's packed with bullshit.
- Another attempt at self-promotion on Facebook.
- Taste the autism from Twitter!
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| Beefrave is part of a series on BlogTalkRadio |
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| Featured article June 9 & 10, 2012 | ||
| Preceded by The Pirate Bay |
Beefrave | Succeeded by Glee |