Teenspot
About the author of this article
The author of this page is actually the founder of TeenSpot and this is his way of admitting to everyone what he truly is.
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THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ. BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM. |
Teenspot is essentially a MySpace-lite social networking site centered around its main forum and chat rooms. It's "da place 2 b" for those who have been rejected by the Tom, but couldn't make it to Facebook. Its user base consists of various cliques of cam whores, faggots, emos, older guys seeking younger girls, and other miscellaneous, lonely people who have no IRL friends.
Why do they go to TeenSpot?
Most herd to TeenSpot to:
- Seek advice for tragic break-ups.
- Announce their faggotry and actively seek buttsecks throughout the forums and chat rooms.
- Ask how to have sex properly (i.e. Which hole to put it in), only to return a day afterwards to make "Am I pregnant?" threads.
- To share videos of themselves masturbating and licking their own juices off their fingers in the case of BrooklynneSTFU..
- Whore for the attention of pedo's and hormonal juiced teens to boost their low self esteem.
- Discuss and display their master artworks of poetry, traditionally drawn anime, professionally composed/ intentionally over-contrasted photographs, and their expert digital art skills.
Discuss and analyze politicsTalk about how George Bush "si a sucky moron americen idiot doofus".
- Cyber fuck in the Chat Rooms and exchange fake nudes.
Chat Rooms
The chat rooms are teenspot's pride and glory (fuck the forums). Thanks largely in part to deep-cover Anonymous, the knowledge of the workings of the chat rooms has been greatly expanded. It is currently believed to be the most effectively exploitable area of Teenspot, with the potential for epic lulz. There are twenty-nine public channels on teenspot and a couple hidden ones such as #911 or the much fabled #private-roleplay. As of 2011, most of its chat rooms are dead save for a few, included in the rooms mentioned below. #Singles and #GayLesBi, with well over 3000 and 100 users at peak hours respectively, are teenspot's highest trafficked rooms. The majority of these users are, sadly, pedophiles pretending to be all sorts of fucked up things, who believe that the best way to capture someones attention is to spam in ALL CAPS and very bright colors about how big their penis is--"PM me for RP ladies"--using the exact same format as everyone else, because apparently lolis find originality to be repugnant. Although only mildly distracting when one person is doing it, often there are 20 or more faggots spamming this shit twenty-four hours a day--most of them already previously banned over 9000 times--never stopping even when brentOn tells them they're about to be hammered and makes good on it. Most of the chatrooms can be trolled easily, simply change your text pink and say that you're "13/F/US", be warned though, if this method abused, your computer may crash from the slew of "asl plzz?" reply messages. Needless to say, these rooms are useless for chatting and mostly just serve as pedo-magnets to keep the other rooms relatively clean, and to give TS more hits on Google.
ZombieTwat is the most well-known user, having been around for quite some time. Although she tends to be a bit of a bitch, and isn't well-liked by most, you can see at least ten people kissing her ass at any given time.
Pedo huntin' w/ DanyeIIe the Dingbat
There is no intelligence on teenspot. Let me explain. First the obvious: anyone with a brain is not wasting their youth on teenspot. So what is this entity on teenspot that we mistake for intelligence? It is quite simply: the measure of ones level of withdrawal from IRL society. With that in mind, you may continue reading.
Teenspot has seen better days. In 2006, teenspot's intelligence was abundant and could be found in most rooms between #Advice and #Flirt, and between #Roleplay and #Zone. ...love to the glory days of #Cafe, #Dorm, the #Trivia triplets, and hell, even #Party. But now, the calendar year is 2011, and each of those rooms has been long dead--the old regulars banned, moved on or proven fake. Only the most intelligent of TSers remain. Ironically, they congregate in #Hottub--a room with a storied reputation for housing retards. Nevertheless, #Hottub is now inhabited by the same old people who Type. With. Proper. Grammar. and tear anyone, who doesn't consistently kiss the ass of at least one other chatter, a new asshole. This makes for great trolling, as you can get an entire room filled with sensible people to focus all of their attention on your text just by telling 'viperazuredragon453' that he/she/it is a 'n00b!1'. tyler(the admin responsible for the roleplaying rooms) is generally gone in the late morning and early afternoon hours, so feel free to express your hatred of black people then. He also happens to be a druggie, and take part in conversations about all of the hard shit he does to get over his last girlfriend/cat dying/whatever the actual reason is.
TeenSpot's chatrooms are run though ChatSpace by Akiva, an IRC based java program. Therefore, many IRC commands are allowed, such as /whois, /notice, /watch, /profile, and /action, most of which necessary to the pedophiles in order to better track down the loli. TeenSpot's chatrooms have been known to be accessed through IRC by spoofing the chat client if you are 1ee+ enough to do so. Direct access requires a password, which has yet to be discovered. One such exploit of this has been automatic private advertising spam to anyone who enters a room- potentially devastating if, say, twenty Anonymous had a mind to do this. Spoofing is now next to impossible as, due to rampant abuse, the site's owners and administators decided to place 1337 protection on it. Blame mike for being a black person and focus on trolling the old fashioned way.
For those moralfags out there, you can actually report pedophiles to the admins while you're trolling. Just type /notice #911 followed by a copy of the evidence (or just make shit up if you don't like someone). The two most common who WILL NOT GO AWAY are: A forty year-old who always registers the name older male and claims to be "HO RNY". A guy in his thirties who usually posts something to the effect of "ANY GIRLS 11-16 LIKE SEX PARTIES WITH OLDER GUYS 4 REAL". This guy wants to rape your little sister. 4 real.
Chat Admins and avoiding the permab&
| Known administrators: | Known censored words: | Known autoban trips: | How to get b&: |
| Aaron | beastiality | ph0ne | Being under 13 |
| brentOn (1988) | cam | r@pe | Being over 24 |
| Dave/Bouncer | cock | c0ck | Cam sex |
| Erik | cum | c@m | Phone sex |
| Gary | cunt | dirty pics | Phone numbers |
| Mark | dick | d!ck | Disturbing fetishes |
| mike | fone | [any number] inches | Being in the room when brenton is on the rag |
| Prometheus | horny | wet pussy | Advertising websites |
| tyler | kinky | Being previously b& (use a proxy) | |
| ncest | Being caught using a proxy (don't be previously b&) | ||
| nigga | Refusing to show brentOn tits | ||
| nigger | insulting a girl brentOn likes | ||
| phone | insulting a girl Mark likes | ||
| rape | insulting a girl David likes | ||
| slave | |||
| slut | |||
| stickam | |||
| to meet |
Of the known chat admins, only brentOn, Mark and bran (permab&; the poor old bastard could not keep himself away from the underage pussy) are on often enough to be considered lulzkillers. Check the room you're in for them; if they're not there, you're essentially in the clear, except for the room bot which will silence then kick for long text or excessive flooding. Usually the admins take long periods of absence which are marked by l33t text next to their names(lol irc). During these periods, you're also pretty much clear off, as the logs produced on TeenSpot are XBOX hueg and impossible to check. Of the censored words, anyone running Windows XP can evade it by using non-ASCII letters. The censor is now twofold. Whenever a censored word is used and you get a red warning, the word doesn't appear in the room, and entire post goes to a room monitored by admins, who review and often IP ban if the context warrants it. Mention how much you hate Dick Cheney and you're fine for instance. Whenever a censored word is used in Singles specifically otherwise, you either get banned instantly or silenced, both by a script running through mike's name (which means when he's offline or you're chatting privately those things fly). Context doesn't matter, if you talk about past experiences with a chicken farm the wrong way you're toast. Since that censor focuses on evasions of words you probably won't say anyway, you probably can pretty much do anything if you're not stupid about it. If not, rotate your IP address, troll better, and get back to it half a minute later because as the site proudly proclaims, "registering is free and easy!".
Where legacies are made
Our legacy--the defining moment of our lives, the triumphs for which we are remembered: the "I Have a Dream" speech by Martin Luther King, Jr. or the discovery of America by Amerigo Vespucci. Unfortunately, however, to others these are the moments for which we are mocked for the rest our lives. Take superstar athlete LeBron James' "The Decision," or Tiger Woods' "entrepreneurship". And hey, while we're at it, why not enjoy some of our fellow teenspot chat-regulars' finest hours?
(Note: Sadly enough marystarofthesea is not a troll)
(Note: marystarofthesea has more than one fetish, it is known marystarofthesea's fetishes also involve shit, a combination of shit and piss, possibly vomit, and the common belief that marystarofthesea is a furry by trade)
The average user
(Note: TeenSpot holds an average 12-19, 30-60 year-old audience of failures who stumble to reach the literacy level of an African child.)
- Below are quotes which encompass the general fail faggotry at Teenspot:
Picture rating
The second most popular forum on Teenspot is picture rating, which provides equal amounts of lulz as it does fapping material. The mindset of those seeking picture ratings is explained:
Most of ratings (seemingly) defy logic, and oftentimes many beastly, facial-herpes-ridden, AIDS-filled fuckdicks are rated above the norm. The reason for this is the recently discovered [rb], or [rate back] factor.
Rate Back factor
This is the x-factor in which the raters then become the ratees. After giving a TeenSpot user a rate, they post "rb" in a thread where they just gave a 9.67/10 only to expect a 9.68/10 in return.
Eleven Dirty Words
If you can't resist using dirty words on TeenSpot, don't worry, because they've probably already decided what you can't say. But, in case you want to try and move around their selective restrictions, or you are a newfag worried about being b&, here's a list for clarification:
| You can say: | You can't say: |
| Honkey | Nigger |
| Chink, wetback, kike | Fag |
| 4chan | encyclopediadramatica |
| Penis, dick | Cock |
| Anal | Goatse |
| Scat | Tubgirl, 2girls1cup |
| Vagina, pussy | Cunt, twat |
| Then, who, was | Phone (In the chat rooms) |
| Unimportant |
You can also talk about porn, being raped/ wanting to rape someone, suicide, masturbation, how big your dick is, anal sex and rim jobs, abortions, etc. Posting here is one giant paradoxical, oxymoronic mindfuck... Some conspiracy theorists would be quick to blame the jews for this nonsense, but considering Jew is an uncensored word that's allowed to be used on the forums, some speculate that there must be a darker force (literally) behind this...
Slavery
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Nigga is owned. -
Even Hitler's blondes are in slavery. -
Hoe's make the best slaves. -
Emo's can be of some use. -
Money well spent. -
Sometimes one slave is owned by many different people. -
The younger ones last longer.
The rape phenomenon
Statisticians have hypothesized that only 0.1% of the TeenSpot population has not been raped. Those who have been, however, have, apparently, not been traumatized enough by the occurrence, and feel comfortable enough (to the point of enjoyment) to tell everyone on the interbutts about it. One event in particular, which sparked a lolcano on (4chan's /lounge/ and Ebaums) is a Rape worthy post made on TeenSpot on August 13, 2007.
You can find claims of rape everywhere on TeenSpot.
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Rape is good. -
Nigga would rape himself. -
She was drunk. -
Rape happened to a friend. -
Wait, what? -
Quite the entrepreneur.
Pedophiles galore
Dateline NBC mentioned TeenSpot in a report saying the website is used as a tool by pedophiles looking to have sex with teenagers ignorant enough to actually believe the pedo really is a 14 year old boy who likes Pokemans and mudkipz [1]. TeenSpot was also criticized for the lack of security in their chatrooms [2].
- Teenspot claims to care about the safety of their users but, IRL this issue is just lulz to them, especially considering they only cookie ban those who have broken the Terms of Service.
User profiles
Meet Caitlyn
Caitlyncheers56 is a soft, supple 14-year-old loli who has made TeenSpot her home and hangout since August of 2007. This positive young lady loves rap music, her boyfriend, cheerleading, and beauty pageants. She adores her life and hates drama. Caitlyn has lots of friends, and was living a very comfortable suburban life...
One day (most likely due to being corrupted by the internets) Caitlyn decided to have sexual intercourse with her boyfriend little Johnny. Caitlyn and little Johnny were both inexperienced virgins who were let down by the lack of sexual education classes in their American public school system. A couple months later, little Caitlyn realized she was blessed with a child was preggers, and idolizing Britney Spears maybe wasn't such a good thing after all. Not knowing where to turn for help, Caitlyn decided to seek advice about "vagina pain" on TeenSpot citing having a vaginal discharge that "Smells fishy, and it's thin. Sometimes it's clear, and sometimes grayish or whiteish." After going to Planned Parenthood, seeing a doctor, and taking the expert advice of intelligent and mature TeenSpotters, the progressive, liberal young Caitlyn and her very fertile boyfriend Johnny decided it was best to have their baby scrambled via a suction aspiration abortion on January 18, 2008...
...Our precious little Caitlyn decided to abort for many reasons. The biggest of them was because:
TL;DR? After discovering a fishy white discharge coming out of her vagoo, the 14-year-old loli Caitlyncheers56, got advice on TeenSpot, went to a doctor, found out she was pregnant, and decided to abort it in order to save her cheerleading career.
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How do I got her pregnant? -
Caitlyn and friends. -
Rule 34 anyone? -
Worth getting v& -
Oh, Caitlyn! Fap, fap, fap! -
Fap, fap, fap! -
Fap, fap, fap! -
He must havea winning personalitylots of Jew.
Culture
Besides pedophiles, Teenspot also hosts a thriving artistic community.
See Also
- Emo Fags
- Elementary school drop-outs
- Attention seeking whores
- Party girls
