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Mr. Bucket

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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The game's Mr. Bucket! The first to get their balls into Mr. Bucket wins! But look out, 'cause the balls will pop out of his mouth!
 

 
 

Pedobear subbing in as Mr. Bucket's commercial announcer.

Also known as a "Dog in a Bathtub" training device.

The bucket that wants your balls.
After playing with Mr. Bucket, you too can put YOUR "dog in the bathtub".
After losing on the kid's board game market, Mr. Bucket decided to team up with Pedobear and get into the porn industry.
Pedobear Approved!
He'll suck your cock too!

Premise

Before the days of MySpace, Facebook, AIM and other such mediums, pedophiles had to WORK for a living to get the 12 year old ass they so craved. But how to get children excited about balls in mouths without chatrooms to entice them with? This was the conundrum that faced baby fuckers the world over at least 100 years ago.

Enter Mr. Bucket.

As per the instructions devised by none other than Pedobear himself:

This is a children's dexterity game featuring Mr. Bucket - a plastic electronic bucket with a cartoonish face and a large mouth. To begin, Mr. Bucket is placed on the floor in an open area. Each player takes a colored shovel, and 12 balls (4 for each player) are placed on the floor nearby. Mr. Bucket is then turned on and he begins moving, jingling and circling the floor. Players must immediately try to scoop up a ball that matches their color shovel and quickly drop it into Mr. Bucket. They must hurry as Mr. Bucket will spit balls out of his mouth almost as fast as the players can put them in. The first player to get all of his or her balls into Mr. Bucket wins.

   
 
Who will be the first to get all their black person balls back into Mr. Bucket? This up and active game is great for learning colours and hand eye coordination!
 

 
 

—Actual description from the Canadian Babies R Us online store

It is unknown whether the designers at Milton Bradley did it for the lulz or whether they were simply balding pedophiles wanting to have "buckets of fun" with "buckets of cum". ; the theme song shown below lends credence to both theories:

   
 
Sir Ian McKellen does a dramatic interpretation of the children's toy "Mr. Bucket."
 

 
 

The Horrifying Truth of Mr. Bucket

Theme Lyrics as Brought to you by Milton Bradley

   
 
I'm Mr. Bucket, toss your balls in my top

I'm Mr. Bucket, out of my mouth they will pop
I'm Mr. Bucket, we're all gonna run
I'm Mr. Bucket, buckets of fun!
I'm Mr. Bucket, balls pop out of my mouth
I'm Mr. Bucket, a ball is what I'm about
I'm Mr. Bucket, we're all gonna run
I'm Mr. Bucket, buckets of fun!

 


 
 

See Also

External Links

Mr. Bucket is part of a series on
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