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Assigned Male

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THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ.
BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.
Wait... Misshapen heads? beady, far-apart eyes? wide, flat noses?... Does everyone in this comic just have Down's Syndrome?

Assigned Male is a shitty webcomic about Stephen, an 11-year-old boy who calls himself "Stephie" and thinks he's a girl. It was created by a fat French-Canadian tranny Guillaume "Sophie" Labelle, who seemingly knows nothing at all about how children speak or act, despite claiming to have worked with them before. The comics usually consist of Stephie babbling about "heteronormative oppression" and other stupid Tumblr bullshit in huge walls of text, and little else. It's also known for its odd focus on the genitalia of a young boy, as Stephie repeatedly informs the reader that even though he was born with a penis, he is a girl and doesn't have a "boy's body" (something that is particularly worrying because Labelle works with children whom he probably molests). One can only hope that Chris Hansen will step in and ask Sophie to take a seat.

Assigned Male is essentially Billy the Heretic written from the opposite end of the political spectrum, as both are political propaganda pieces with shitty art that feature a young boy as the protagonist who is supposed to be "wise beyond his years," but instead just comes across as the author's obvious mouthpiece taking the form of a spoiled brat. There is little meat to the storylines of both comics, and they are first and foremost platforms for the authors to preach their views to the audience. While Assigned Male features slightly better art than Billy the Heretic (by virtue of actually having colors), both are about equal on the shit spectrum. It could also be considered the tranny version of The Boondocks, but whereas The Boondocks manages to be lulzy sometimes, particularly due to the character of Uncle Ruckus, Assigned Male is just a boring soapbox.

"Plot"

   
 
If Sophie wrote Garfield, Garfield would suddenly become trans and use his new identity as an excuse to steal Jon's lasagna. Then he'd use SJW buzzwords to tell Jon he's transphobic for getting mad at him for it. Also, he'd be triggered by Mondays.
 

 
 

—An accurate prediction

Assigned Male creator Guillaume Labelle in a picture showing how fat he is. Look at those fucking lunch lady arms.

The comic's full title is Assigned Male: The Incredible Adventures of Stephie (who happens to be trans). This is almost totally inaccurate. No "incredible adventures" are ever actually seen (though "incredible" is accurate if one uses the outdated definition of "not credible; hard to believe; unbelievable"), and "happens to be trans" implies that this aspect of Stephie's character is a simple afterthought. Nothing is further from the truth. Assigned Male consists of little more than Stephie and his band of homo friends regurgitating propaganda that they read on Tumblr in walls of text, using words that no 11-year-old would ever use, and Stephie going on and on about how he's a girl even though he was born with a penis. Much of the comics resemble a pro-tranny Chick tract.

Labelle often displays only basic knowledge (if any at all) on the issues he attempts to address and the causes he supposedly champions. For example, when he jumped on the "Justice for Leelah" bandwagon in late 2014, he did so by having Stephie say literally one sentence about it: "Who's Leelah?" which is probably exactly what Sophie himself said before doing a Google search five minutes before shitting out his latest comic. Instead of actually attempting to inform the reader about Leelah Alcorn, and how he killed himself by splattering himself onto a truck because his parents were actually decent and didn't buy into all the SJW horseshit of this day and age, Sophie just shows how sympathetic and supportive he is by name-dropping him exactly once and never bringing it up again.

The author is also shown to be ill-informed on trannies as a whole, despite being one himself. He has Stephie undergo hormone replacement therapy and take puberty blockers, seemingly unaware of all of the negative side effects that this could cause (note: Sophie has mentioned Lupron before, so this is the drug we're looking at). One could try to defend this by saying "well, Stephie's 11, she's supposed to be a bit naive," but that's bullshit due to the fact that Stephie's characterization is and always has been that he knows absolutely everything, and no one in this universe is smarter than an 11-year-old girl boy, and also because there's not even an instance of, say, a doctor appearing to warn Stephie and/or his mother about the potential risks and them deciding to go through with it anyway. There's literally no mention whatsoever that maybe this isn't such a good decision after all. Stephie's decision to undergo hormone replacement is treated as nothing but positive, despite the comic's purpose being to educate the reader on trans issues. So, either Labelle doesn't know about these side effects, or knows about them and chooses to omit them from the comic because having anything bad ever happen to Stephie would require him to have some actual depth as a character, and we can't have that, now can we? Though, it would be pretty lulzy to see Stephie continue his hormone treatment and be affected with such things as "deep muscular and bone ache," "diarrhea and dizziness," "insomnia, anxiety, and depression," "degenerative disc disease," "fibromyalgia," "blood disorders," "AML cancer," and the host of other problems that could come about from his decision to take puberty blockers. If nothing else, it'd finally give him his comeuppance for being such a spoiled little brat, and maybe learning that maybe he doesn't know everything. But of course, seeing as how in this universe Stephie is the Tranny Jesus, that won't happen.

Some firsthand accounts of the side effects of puberty blockers, which Sophie apparently neglected to research.

It rivals fellow shitty webcomics CTRL+ALT+DEL and Sonichu in terms of overuse of text walls and Mary Sue self insert main characters, but it's so much worse than either of them due to the fact that it spouts off retarded Tumblrisms in a misguided attempt to educate the reader. The characters are completely one-dimensional. Stephie has no characterization outside of being transsexual, and serves no real purpose other than being the author's mouthpiece to deliver his tranny-sympathizing rhetoric. He is always right, is portrayed as smarter than every single other character in the comic, even medical professionals who have gone through years of medical school, routinely lectures everyone around him about being a tranny, and for seemingly no other reason than to fill the Mary Sue quota, is unnaturally strong for a child, being able to lift a large rock with relative ease.

The other characters are just as wooden. Stephie's friends (whom he calls the "Gender Pirates") are each defined more by their gender and/or sexual preference than by any sort of personality. For example, if one were to take away Stephie's transsexuality and Sandro being "non-binary," then the two would essentially be the exact same character. Additionally, they serve no other purpose besides acting as organic receptacles for Stephie's text walls. They are better described as friends of Stephie than by any of their own traits (save, of course, for their gender or sexual preferences). By failing to make Stephie act like a realistic 11-year-old, the comic fails to achieve its stated goal of portraying the issues that "trans" children, who know literally nothing about reality (and other deranged faggots in general), face in a world dominated by normal people. Seeing as how no 11-year-old (or anyone, really) speaks with the same unnecessarily elevated diction as Stephie, it talks down to its audience rather than getting on their level to deliver its messages. The comic is directed at children, whom the author claims to work with, and everyone knows how much children love being preached at and talked down to.

The only character with anything resembling a relatable struggle is Martin, Stephie's father and literally the only non-throwaway character with difficulties accepting Stephie's status as a tranny. Especially in this day and age, one could easily read the comic and identify with Martin, who only wishes that his son would stop acting like a little faggot who thinks the world revolves around him. However, even he has little characterization beyond this, and is often just used as a straw man for when the author realizes he's gone five pages without having Stephie disprove someone. As Martin slowly begins to cave into the pressure of everyone else around him, he starts to lose his one character trait and as a consequence, he loses much of his prominence as a character as the comic goes on.

At first glance, Assigned Male appears to be a parody of Tumblr feminists and tranny activists. However, upon closer inspection, one will find that Sophie Labelle has an entire online store dedicated to it, and defends it far too much for it to simply be the product of a troll (see "Assigned Male Vs. Criticism" below).

Art

An example of the amazing art featured in the comic. Note: Four of these faces are of the same character. Try and guess which ones.

Like most webcomics, Assigned Male features art that is rather below the standards of professionally (or even amateurishly) done comics. In what is likely a display of Sophie's poor facial recognition skills, most of the recurring characters share the same four or five faces, and are distinguishable mainly by skin tone, hair, and clothing. Other forms of media with simplistic art styles, such as South Park do this on purpose and even use it for comedic effect on occasion, but it is highly unlikely that the same is true for the creator of Assigned Male who doesn't seem to be able to draw a straight line if his life depended on it. The adults are able to be distinguished from the children only by being taller and the fact that the children tend to have higher foreheads and wider cheekbones. Going by the art style alone, if a midget character was introduced into the comic, there would literally be no way to distinguish them from the rest of the children unless we were told.

A possible inspiration?

As seen in the image to your left, most of the one-off characters are much more distinguishable than the main characters, who all look generic and plain. Animals rarely appear in the comic, likely due to Sophie's inability to draw them. On one occasion, a bird appears on the windowsill of Stephie's house and its wonky face makes it look mentally deficient. Backgrounds are always very sparsely detailed if not just solid colors as though the characters have become trapped in a void of changing colors. While Sophie Labelle has proven himself to be a slightly better artist than Tim Buckley or Chris-chan (by reusing the same two faces instead of just one, mostly avoiding the "B^U" face, and keeping his characters fairly proportioned), his art style is still grades below something you'd see made by a preschooler. Much like the aforementioned, characters rarely if ever close their mouths (this is prevalent amongst the child characters; drawings of Stephie with an open mouth greatly outnumber those of him with a closed mouth), making the comic appear to take place in a world inhabited by stroke victims. Notably, every time someone climbs up on their SJW high horse and delivers a lecture to another character/the reader, their faces get incredibly smug-looking. As if you need another reason to want to punch the characters (or the author) in the face.

One of the comic's most notable artistic flaws is Sophie's inability to position the characters' pupils correctly. Characters having conversations with each other rarely look at one another, and sometimes just appear to be staring off into space as if they've zoned out. Though, given the fact that most of the comic's dialogue consists of tranny-sympathizing text walls, it probably is a common occurrence for characters to just zone out and pretend to be listening as Stephie rambles on for the millionth fucking time about how the patriarchy is oppressing him and his girl penis. Most notable is Hamza's mother, whose default expression is a deer-in-headlights stare which indicates obliviousness to the world around her. In other words, a perfect representation of Assigned Male's fanbase.

He gets $700 a month for this shit. Patreon - Where SJWs go to rob one another.

Ultimately, everyone in this comic looks like the were made out of sagging, undercooked dough with twigs and buttons stuck to it to create a face, like some sort of Pillsbury snowman. Which might explain why all the characters look like each other throughout the comic, but somehow not like themselves from panel to panel. The art improves ever so slightly as the comic goes on, though overall it's still complete shit. It still looks like something that a retarded infant shat out in about five minutes with MS Paint.

Sophie Makes a Coloring Book

In May of 2015, Sophie Labelle decided to make a coloring book for awful SJW parents to give their kids. Much like Assigned Male this coloring book features a strange focus on the genitals of children, as well as terrible art. An odd and unexplained theme in the coloring book is the inexplicable appearance of anthropomorphic alligators in various drawings. It is unknown what, exactly, this is supposed to represent. It could possibly mean that Labelle is a furry/otherkin, or that he associates alligators with negativity and oppression for some reason. Some pages from the coloring book can be found below in the "gallery section," if you want to see how shitty it is for yourself. Though, why would you want to? According to some people who actually bought the coloring book, it's printed on shitty, low-quality paper that makes it hard to color on, anyway. Given the fact that SJWs typically want to get the most amount of money for the least amount of work, it's likely that Sophie purposefully used the cheapest, shittiest paper that he could get so that he could make more money from the idiots who would actually buy this book for their kids.

Characters

Stephie being a spoiled brat. Note his mother's completely exasperated look that says "God, just kill me already." Also worth noting is the fact that this is from the very first comic. Let this image set the tone for the rest of it.
  • Stephie: The main character, and the author's self-insert. Born as Stephen, Stephie is a spoiled, pretentious 11-year-old tranny who forces this fact down the throats of everyone she he meets... just like every other tranny who ever lived. A sufferer of a very severe case of Special Snowflake Syndrome, Stephie is not content with anybody not knowing that he's trans, and will mention it any time he can...except for when somebody else says it, in which case, he gets triggered and locks himself in the bathroom like a little bitch, possibly because he didn't get to announce it on his own and get the attention he wanted. While he is presented as being exceptionally smart and mature for his age, Stephie is shown to be an entitled little brat from the very first comic, when he throws a temper tantrum at the doctor's office after the nurse "misgenders" him. Also, when debating Kevin the homosexual speaker (a debate he started for seemingly no reason other than to get attention and make himself look smart, mind you) when Kevin makes a point, he literally says "let's pretend I didn't hear that," continuing the proud Tumblrfag tradition of basically covering their ears and saying "lalalala I can't hear you!" when presented with counterarguments. In addition to the already-mentioned odd focus the author seems to have on Stephie's genitalia, Stephie is also sometimes drawn wearing clothes that are a bit too revealing for someone his age, with bare-shouldered shirts being a common trait. Nope, no pedophilia in this comic at all.
  • Alice: Stephie's mother, and the main reason why he's such a pretentious little shit. Alice left her husband Martin, became a dyke, and hooked up with a burqa bunny. This was likely added in because the "good" parent can't be cisgender and heterosexual. It also could possible that she whores herself out to various other women when she isn't being shown in the comic, which would explain how she manages to support both herself and Stephie despite never being seen at any sort of job (if memory serves, Stephie does mention his mom having a job in one comic, though she's never shown at it so it could just be a lie that she told him to keep the awful truth a secret). Alice ridiculously spoils Stephie and bends over backwards to serve his every whim whenever possible. She's friends with a bunch of homos and trannies, including a gay couple that includes a trans-man that gets pregnant. It's implied that Stephie's long-winded rants that the comics are centered around are ideas he regurgitates from Alice.
  • Martin: Stephie's father. He is initially the only good character in the comic because he's the only one who doesn't put up with Stephie's shit. As such, he is treated as a straw man by everyone else and is typically the go-to guy for when Stephie needs to use Tumblr logic to prove somebody wrong or otherwise look like a pretentious know-it-all. Despite the fact that he is clearly shown to love his son and strive to be a role model for him, he is treated as a terrible parent for not believing that an 11-year-old can make up his mind about huge things such as identity. Eventually, he stops being cool and indulges in Stephie's tranny delusions just like everybody else, though it's somewhat apparent that he doesn't genuinely believe that Stephie is a girl and is just humoring him. He later joins what is perhaps the most stereotypical MRA group ever portrayed, but gets kicked out after attending one meeting because he doesn't act like how Tumblrfags think MRAs act. Afterward, he pretty much disappears from the comic, having lost his only character trait. After a long absence, he finally came back, and is still pretty much the only good character in the comic, and still doesn't really put up with his son's bullshit. Early in the comic, Martin exhibits many stereotypical "deadbeat dad" traits. However, after accepting Stephie as a girl, his appearance becomes noticeably cleaner. This is one of the many examples of the author's hatred of normal people, as he uses Martin to imply that they are all unkempt losers.
  • Sandro/Ciel: Stephie's "nonbinary" friend, a limp-wristed homo who cross-dresses and can inexplicably shoot "gender-neutral" laser beams from his eyes in what is otherwise a slice-of-life comic. He gets his ass kicked on a regular basis for being a faggot, but rather than making the comic cool by using his laser eyes to go Columbine on his school, he just bitches about the "cis-tem" and relies on another boy who thinks he's a girl to fight his battles for him. In one comic, he triggers Stephie by telling a genuine girl that he's trans, despite the fact that Stephie himself never shuts the fuck up about it. This causes Stephie to whine about how the girl will now only think of him as "that trans girl," even though Stephie goes as far out of his way as possible to remind people that he's trans at every given opportunity. Much like Stephie, Sandro believes that he is a special snowflake and chooses to identify as neither a boy or a girl, and uses "they, their, and they're" pronouns. He also has a little brother, but he doesn't appear very often so it's unknown if he's as much of a faggot as Sandro. It's safe to assume that he is because Sandro likely rapes him nightly. In one recent comic, he gets butthurt when a woman calls him a boy and says that she bets the girls are all over him (apparently, her gaydar was broken, as a blind person could see that Sandro loves the cock), because if there's anything a special little snowflake hates, it's other people mistaking them for normal non-special people. It was revealed in one comic that his grandfather gave his mom shit for letting her son dress like a faggot, so she ended up killing herself over it. Much like many IRL tumblrfags, Sandro believes that his real name isn't "special" enough, and has decided to rechristen himself. Also like them, he can't seem to decide on what he wants his new name to be. Early on in the comic, he called himself "Sandrx," which he later modified to "Sandr@." Eventually he tired of "Sandr@" and renamed himself again, this time to "Ciel." Only time will tell how long he keeps this name, though he is rumored to change his name again in a future comic to "Isabel Rosa Araujo."
  • Lea: Another one of Stephie's friends, and one of the only ones who isn't a tranny or a homo (there are others who show up from time to time, but they don't get names). Instead, she gets to fill the role of the token black kid, and that's pretty much it. She has even less characterization than Stephie's other friends and literally serves no other purpose besides being black to make Stephie look accepting (as well as serving as a receptacle for Stephie's ramblings, a role shared by all his other friends). Once white knighted Stephie by yelling at a random innocent man who mistook her for correctly identified him as a boy and made him get butthurt and start crying. She was curiously absent from Sandro's "new name party," which included even one of Stephie's nameless cisgender friends. Apparently, Stephie practices segregation.
One of Assigned Male's biggest fans.
  • Myrick: Stephie's intersex friend. She was born a girl, but wanted to be a boy instead. Stephie is hinted to have a crush on her in one early comic, but this plot point never went anywhere, and Myrick slowly began to disappear from the comic as it went on. However, at least 100 years later, Myrick finally began to appear in the comic again, making a nonspeaking cameo at Sandro's "new name party," after he decided that he wanted to be called "Ciel." The plotline of Stephie's crush on Myrick also returned, with Stephie making a half-assed attempt to get her to ask him to the dance, then having a psychotic episode when she doesn't. Stephie's crush on Myrick is indicative of the fact that, for all his tolerance preaching, he's just as ignorant as he claims everyone else is. He pays no mind to the possibility that Myrick could still be attracted to men (real men, that is, who don't think they're girls), or she could not like trannies. To complete the checklist of tumblr jargon (and make sure Stephie isn't, god forbid, attracted to or is friends with someone white), Myrick mentions that she's "White in passing". In other words, she's a kike. Also, she non-jokingly uses the word "micropenis" in one comic, unlike practically every other 12-year-old boy, which she wants to be.
  • Hamza: A young sand nigger whom Stephie babysits while their moms go off to dyke it out. While he was a relatively new character, got popular pretty quickly due to the fact that he called Stephie out on his stupid SJW bullshit. However, because Sophie realized that Stephie's multicultural rainbow of friends was missing a raghead, Stephie enlightens corrupts him in all of one panel and he gets brainwashed just like everyone else who comes into contact with the little homo. Just like every other cool character this comic introduces, he'll probably either join Stephie's band of homos or disappear completely from the comic altogether.
  • Stephie's other friends: Several other kids who have to listen to Stephie's bullshit on a regular basis and seem content with their entire lives revolving around being some cunt's sounding board. They have about the same amount of characterization as Lea, but without the added bonus of being token minorities, or having names. Like all of Stephie's friends, they serve no purpose besides giving Stephie something to preach at. Despite the author preaching against cisphobia, it's pretty interesting to note that Stephie's only friends who are simultaneously white and cis are the only ones who don't get names or anything.
  • Kevin: A gay man who speaks at Stephie's school about tolerance. He's a very minor character, only appearing in two back-to-back comics, but he's fairly important because he's used to show that Stephie isn't above insulting fellow members of the LGBT community. Before he even gets a chance to begin his speech, Stephie starts debating him for no reason, and actually calls him homophobic when he says that Stephie's points make no sense.

Assigned Male Vs. Criticism

The creator of this turd is quickly gaining a reputation as an easily trolled, butthurt tranny that can't handle any "constructive criticism". He once stated in an interview that he believes that all his critics are either trolls, Men's Rights Activists, or "truscum" (a made-up Tumblr word). Sophie clearly believes that he is basically the tranny version of Stan Lee, except without the side effect of being a filthy Jew, and that anyone who dares to criticize his masterpiece is just an uninformed moron or a sexist agent of the Patriarchy. The fact that he teaches at an elementary school (and an "alternative" elementary school at that; probably a school where Tumblrfags send their unfortunate offspring to learn to be gay and to hate all men), most likely means that he has an inflated ego and believes himself to be smarter than everybody else around him. Here are a few examples of Sophie's inability to take criticism:

Assigned Male Vs. Asalieri

In some sort of cosmic alignment of lolcows, the author of this abomination and the infamous Asalieri crossed paths when Asa decided to review this comic in his usual, "artistic" manner.



If you're perceptive then you will notice two things. The first: that this review is utter shit because Asa is a massive downie. The second is that this video is a mirror. Yes, the creator of this comic, who is as thin skinned as Asa is fat, sent false reports to YouTube, claiming that Asa is "harassing" him/her/it. In response, a bunch of homos who (for some unknown reason actually save Asa's videos) mirrored it all over YT just to spite the creator of the comic. Asa himself uploaded another video, wondering why the hell it was taken down.


Assigned Male Vs. The Bad Webcomics Wiki

   
 
This comic was so bad, one of our members suspected it was a transgender version of a poe. If it wasn't for the fact Sophie is marketing print versions of her work to children and had a negative review taken off YouTube as "hate speech", I don't think I could have made a compelling argument the comic was legit.
 

 
 

—Bad Webcomics Wiki, describing this comic

At some point, the John Solomon wannabes at the internet shithole called "The Bad Webcomics Wiki" picked up on this little gem and decided to write one of their crappy reviews about it when even the trannies on that site thought that it was a pile of shit. In response, Sophie, proving that he is incapable of handling critique from even the most obscure and disreputable sources online, made an account called "TransphobiaIsNotOkay" and vandalized the review by changing every point of criticism in it to a glowing endorsement. It is important to note that the comic was called bad by one tranny and the review contained a quote from another saying the same thing. Nonetheless, Sophie removed the quote in his process of blanking because I guess those other trannies are transphobic.

Although it can't be proven for a fact who vandalized the article, it's pretty obvious that it was Sophie.

Assigned Male Vs. Other Trannies

Sophie talking on Facebook about how he got kicked out of a group for trannies.

Not so much to do with the comic itself, but apparently not even other trannies are safe from Sophie. He posted on Facebook about how he was kicked out of his local tranny group for "Questioning how another trans-person shouldn't be forced to discuss medical steps in their transition and how non-binary people as well as a trans woman were called 'trannies' during the evening".

Given what we've seen Stephie do in the comic, it's highly probable that what we're seeing in the picture to the right is Sophie whitewashing his actions there. It's far more likely that he got triggered by the implication that he and other trannies aren't real women and sperged out at the other trannies for the umpteenth time. Seeing as how they probably had to suffer through these lectures about how "even though trans women have penises, they're not nor were they ever men", or whatever other stupid shit Sophie read on Tumblr that day on a regular basis, they probably finally had enough of his bullshit and b& him. Seeing as how Stephie is quite obviously Sophie's self-insert, it's very possible that Sophie even called the other trannies "transphobic" because, unlike in his comic, they didn't immediately admit defeat and bow down and start worshiping him as their almighty god- empress emperor. Even from his own Facebook post, it's apparent that Sophie believes that he can tell other people what is and is not offensive. Note that, like the n-word for blacks, "tranny" is often embraced by those with the mental illness that causes them to want to cut their dicks off. Also, note Sophie's use of the (made up) word "truscum" (basically, trannies who say being a tranny is a medical condition that requires suffering from gender dysphoria and want tumblr-tards to stop pretending to be trannies for attention). Way to alienate yourself from the already small minority group you belong to, Sophie.

Additionally, as mentioned above, Assigned Male is so bad that even other trannies have mistaken it for a parody. Sophie has yet to respond to these trannies, but if he ever does, you can bet that he'll label them as "evil truscum MRA transphobic members of the patriarchy" just as he does with all his other critics.

TVTropes drama

The folks over at TVTropes decided to get on the fun as well. After someone added Assigned Male to their "So Bad It's Horrible" page, others got mad and called for its removal. The result was a huge debate about whether it was transphobic to include Assigned Male as a horrible webcomic or not.

Rage Quit

Labelle's comic came under fire after use of the words "suck my dick" in a comic, getting everyone's favourite SJW banned for the day. Labelle was furious and started crying all over twitter about how misgendering someone is by far the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone ever. However Labelle quickly came back to spew out more attention seeking horse shit.

Gallery

The shitty comic

Shitty Tranny Propaganda About missing Pics
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Sophie's coloring book

Sophie's poor excuse for a coloring book About missing Pics
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{{{5}}}

Parodies and edits

Actually Funny Stuff About missing Pics
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Chick Tracts remixes

Assigned Chick About missing Pics
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Copypasta

1984

“Do you remember,” [O'Brien] went on, “writing in your diary, ‘Freedom is the freedom to say that penises are male sexual organs?”

“Yes,” said Winston.

O’Brien held up his left hand towards Winston, and pointed at his crotch.

“What are penises, Winston?”

“Male.”

“And if trans activists say that penises aren’t male but female — what are they?”

“Male.”

The word ended in a gasp of pain. The needle of the dial had shot up to fifty-five. The sweat had sprung out all over Winston’s body. The air tore into his lungs and issued again in deep groans which even by clenching his teeth he could not stop. O’Brien watched him. He drew back the lever. This time the pain was only slightly eased.

“What are penises, Winston?”

“Male.”

The needle went up to sixty.

“What are penises, Winston?”

“Male! Male! What else can I say? Male!”

The needle must have risen again, but he did not look at it. The heavy, stern face and hallucinations of biology books filled his vision. A male sexual organ appeared before his inner eye like an urechis unicinctus, weird, blurry, and seeming to vibrate, but unmistakably male.

“What are penises, Winston?”

“Male! Stop it, stop it! How can you go on? Male! Male!”

“What are penises, Winston?”

“Female! Female! Female!”

“No, Winston, that is no use. You are lying. You still think they are male organs. What are penises, please?”

“Male! Female! Male! Anything you like. Only stop it, stop harassing me!”

Abruptly he was sitting up with O’Brien’s arm round his shoulders. He had perhaps lost consciousness for a few seconds. The bonds that had held his body down were loosened. He felt very cold, he was shaking uncontrollably, his teeth were chattering, the tears were rolling down his cheeks. For a moment he clung to O’Brien like a baby, curiously comforted by the heavy arm round his shoulders. He had the feeling that the trans activist was his protector, that the pain was something that came from outside, from some other source, and that it was O’Brien who would save him from it.

“You are a slow learner, Winston,” said O’Brien gently.

“How can I help it?” he blubbered. “How can I help seeing what is in front of my eyes? Penises are male.”

“Sometimes, Winston, sometimes they are female. Sometimes sexual dimorphism doesn’t exist. Sometimes they are just a feeling. You must try harder. It is not easy to become a submissive supporter of identity politics.”

The Questionnaire

It's Stephie's first day in middle school, and her new teacher wants all his students to fill out a questionnaire, so he can get to know them before class really starts.

Stephie fills out the first few questions easily, her name was Stephie, she was eleven years old, her hair was brown. She stared at the next question:

"What's your favorite movie?"

It seemed to mock her. She had been stumped on quiz questions before, but never this badly. She skipped to the next one.

"What are your hobbies?"

Again, she drew a complete blank.

Scanning down the page, she found yet more unanswerable questions.

"What's your favorite band?"

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"What's your favorite class?"

Time was ticking. Most of her paper was blank. Finally, the answers presented themselves to her, grabbing her pencil, she filled each one in quickly.

Later, the teacher read over her paper. He didn't learn much about Stephie. In fact, she used the same answer for many of the questions. Placed in most of the blanks were two words:

"I'm trans."

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Featured article May 13th & 14th, 2015
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