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Phantom409
Phantom409 is making another video. |
phantom409 is a balding, redneck retard from Melbourne, FL who began his career on YouTube in the spring of 2006. His videos are distinguishable by their shoddy titling, ham eighties soundtracks and the presence of his obscenely obese wife shouting abuse at him in the background. Phantom gained his early recognition on the site from an all-out troll war with a user purporting to be none other than Youtube's biggest cash cow LisaNova. Despite it being apparent to all and sundry, bar baldy himself, that this was in reality a fake account (a fact made blatantly obvious by the use of Capslock in the username), Dennis continued an assault across several videos during which time he issued a number of warnings. The most severe of these being the threat of sending LISANOVA's details to the FBI, but all the more worrying the invitation to Nova to come over to his mobile home for some 'good old fashioned luvin'.
Phantom409 and other Personæ
Over the course of this grudge the character of Phantom409 began to be cemented into viewers’ consciences, a name that would later become synonymous with Dennis' continually erratic behavior and unnerving eye-level closeups, made all the more disturbing by his vacant expressionless stare into the camera. Add to this a string of similar alter egos built around the parts of Dennis’ character that people began to point out as being more than slightly odd, and you have all the hallmarks of a schizophrenic in the making. Before The Psycho Hurricane there was Dr Flame.
Triple Heart Lie Farce
Following the spat with the fake LisaNova, Dennis noticed that the feud had brought a great deal of attention to his channel, so at this point he decided to turn the thrill levels up to 11. He devised a scenario whereby he would disappear from the site for several days, during which time he surmised, it would become apparent to his subscription base that something was wrong. At which point, using the help of a chubby 16 year old child called Rhudipoo, he began to circulate the rumor that he'd been unable to reach his computer due to suffering a massive heart attack/and/or/as well as a stroke, and was laying in a hospital bed whilst this information was being relayed to his viewers (obviously the most important people to consider in these circumstances). At the behest of the coma-stricken Kenneth 'his daughter' urgently made a post on Phantom409.com issuing legal threats to, of course, LisaNova for putting him in this condition.
This Machiavellian - yet only very slightly flawed - scheme, was undone by the fact that firstly Rhudipoo was incapable of spinning a convincing enough yarn and, more importantly, nobody but Dennis himself on his best day would buy this steaming, stinking pile of WWEesque monkey crap.
Phantom409 did of course make a miraculous recovery, and in less than a week returned to his regular 20 a day uploads and a barrage of queries regarding his amazing ability to sit upright and move his arms freely despite being hours out of hospital. He immediately put pay to all questions by making a video in which he appeared wearing a nightgown and laughing hysterically, because of the side effects of the medication he was on. Naturally.
Kenneth Dennis makes an emotional appealPhantom409 announces his plans to have a heart attack- Unstable Youtube User
The Rise To Flame
After the realization dawned on Dennis that his cunning ruse had MASSIVE FAIL , he began to contemplate other avenues of deceit by which to gain the Internet Fame&Fortune he so desperately craved. Among these paths was the sordid, seedy existence of a multiple-accounts whore. Figuring by now that his abysmal attempts at making videos would not attract enough people to his channel alone, Kenneth set about the task of creating further controversy around himself. Via his endless puppet accounts he began to try to manufacture a level of hype around his profile by leaving not only your standard illiteracy-laden inflammatory remarks on peoples pages, but also even more pathetically by resorting to posting in the message box on his own videos. This last act a sign of just how meaningless this chrome-domed crackpot's existence really was (outside of cable wrestling of course.) When not talking to himself, Dennis devoted the rest of his time to his tumultuous internet relationship with Rhudipoo aka Fred Stok who despite continual berating of his behavior always kept a place in the Phantom's heart.
The War on Trevor
In more recent times Phantom has taken it upon himself to reignite his long standing feud with Utubedrama's Trevor Rieger. This ongoing outbreak of all out HTML has seen Phantom pit the success of his domain Phantom409.com (UPDATE: Phantom409.com is dead LOL) against Rieger's own NUMBER ONE SATIRE TABLOID PARODY NATIONAL ENQUIRER CAPSLOCK BULLSHITE.
The resulting abomination of code that followed this declaration of dramawhore has included shit nobody cares about such as who's page is ranked 4,000,000,606th in some list no one even gives a fuck about. All the more hilariously however, it has led to Phantom resuming his internet lifetime quest to get close enough to Trevor to actually be able to smell his spammy, greasy ass in person.
Over the course of this obsession (itself a result of UtubeDrama's own sleaze-crazed fixation with the Phantom409 moniker), Dennis has embarked upon several epic journeys in his Ford Escort LX in an attempt to locate the Simon Lolcow of Youtube and his IRL spam headquarters. With the most successful of these crusades resulting in him somehow managing to enter Trevor's former apartment complex, whereupon he actually made a vlog there.
—Phantom409 is in a neighbourhood near you - RIGHT NOW . |
The Idiot Shamed
Perhaps the most humiliating set of circumstances Kenneth's viewers have been privy to was the Shaming the Idiots saga.
The Idiot Shamers were a group that sprung up around YouTube in the summer of 2006. Upon joining the site they claimed to be a team of skilled hackers, who boasted that should they receive any opposition to their plans they would take over that person's account. To much surprise these assertions began to be taken seriously and their repute as h4xz0rZ gained a good degree of momentum. This burgeoning reputation led to them gaining endorsement from a series of emerging Youtube 'stars' including most peculiarly Stevie Ryan of all people. Ryan bizarrely agreed to join their absurd 'sponsorship' program and placed a clip of an unknown gringo child in a bandanna at the start of a LittleLoca blog. Stranger still, she even permitted the little greaseball to announce that her video was sponsored by the Idiot Shamers and to farcically warn viewers of their L33t skillz.
The idea of sponsorship on a free website is equivalent to leaving a tip for the waitress at an all you can eat buffet, but of course upon learning of this 'deal' Kenneth's plug ears pricked up at the opportunity to be associated with the likes of Youtube's Most Valuable Puta.
—apparently |
Following the Locapromotion, Dennis begun to focus his videos around the Shamers' campaign, joining a list which included ParisBlonde and TheNightRomer as well as one of Phantom's biggest critics charmed1782. All had somehow agreed to partake in this fruitless scheme veiled as a program to further the channels of the 'talent' picked out by the Idiot Shamers. When in reality they'd signed up to possibly the biggest marketing travesty ever seen on Youtube.
The so-called contract involved reading out some ridiculous spiel about the group members in the vein of a cable network voiceover. Participants were made to spout mindless industry jargon about 'feature length specials' that would be 'airing' across the internet 'this coming august'. If the fact that 'across the net' was the last place people wanted to see these kind of teasers wasn't enough, then the reality of seeing these stumbling vloggers attempting this broadcasting tool on their webcams should have been enough to kill the concept dead.
Still though the hype bandwagon rode on over the month with more previews put out in the days before the 'long awaited broadcast' including a preposterous 'Pre-Game Show' which served only as another opportunity to spin out,still further, the sense of anticipation they believed they were building.
Having created this reputation for themselves without even making a single video, conned a troop of unquestioning lackeys into doing their bidding and constructed a level of hyperbole unfathomable for flash video, the task now fell not of course to any of the 3 mythological members of the Shamers.
Instead Karl Isaacs, an unemployed slightly backward farm boy from Bristol stepped up, and despite valiant attempts to work with the format demanded of him, could never expect to do anything but fail miserably when placed in the path of the tsunami of horse shite that had been forming in the previous weeks.
Part One
Previous Video | Next Video |
The show itself did nothing whatsoever to promote 'talent'. It instead wrung out any drop remaining of the viewers' patience by showing clips of Phantom409 for nigh on 45 minutes, interspersing them with yet more gab about what was 'Coming up next' and 'Still to come.' Even having the audacity to talk about the next video in the series (a technique later performed by a certain James Ketamine to even greater waves of rapture). Before finally coming through with the 'Major Announcement'. At which point the heavens opened upon hearing the news that..
—ZOMG?! WTFX? - NOEZ! |
The video culminated with the host declaring the show a success before the credits had even rolled, and of course still more props for the next show for those remaining viewers that hadn't already jammed their mouse balls into their eye sockets by that point.
Phantom409's reaction to this verbal kick in the teeth was to make more videos regarding the Shamers in the hope that they would somehow (joy of joys) let him back into their clique. Which they eventually did at the point of ParisBlonde cutting herself loose from the failing franchise before the second show had even been seen. At this point, the leader of the group GuitarK (sensing the spectacular flop he had on his hands) called Kenny into action and all was forgiven as an 'agreement' was struck that would see none other than Mr Dennis himself step in at short notice to present SHAMING THE IDIOTS: EPISODE TWO!
The result was an even weaker piece of crud, no real surprise for a Phantom video, but unperturbed Kenneth continued to promote the Idiot Shamers, until he was dually rewarded with the prestigious position of Official Spokesman for GuitarK. The fact the series was now dead in the water and the group had become a laughing stock was lost on Kenny, and besides it didn't really matter since through an unexplained lack of competition the honours continued to fall to him.
The climactic moment of the summer and the crowing glory of his Internet career came when his VERY OWN Phantom409 Channel was chosen to host the gala affair of THE GUITARK APPRECIATION NIGHT! This mellifluous occasion was marked by a heartfelt birthday message from the lovely Bandikat especially for the leader of The Idiot Shamers. Who in the following week, to show thanks for this gesture promptly shat on Kenneth for the second time, dumping him from the sacred sponsorship program and branding him a joke of a human being.
The Idiot Shamers themselves finally died a death when the jilted NightRomer teamed up with the Phantom to make a video that was ironically a good deal better than any of the garbage they had produced over the past months put together. A fact lost on Dennis along with the reality that all this time he had been manipulated not at the hands of a group of skilled hackers but instead a lone acne ridden twelve year old wrestling fan.
PHANTOM'S ANNUAL SUMMER SCAMTACULAR
After several successful seasons broadcasting on Youtube, it has become a summer tradition in the Dennis household to provide viewers with a special holiday presentation. This now annual event provides not only an opportunity to acknowledge subscriber contributions throughout the rest of the programming schedule, but also more importantly marks the culmination of a year's hard scamming and scheming for views. Having set down the blueprints for his season finale, c.July 2006.- the heart attack trilogy (a tried and tested formula that only had to be shelved due to backstage production disagreements.), Kenneth now realized he would have to scout around for other subjects to form the Summer '07 series climax.
Little did he know he was about to send shock waves throughout the tubes.
Although unable to grasp the significance of his actions at the time, Phantom was about to open a hole in the very fabric of web time continuum and present a paradox that is destined to baffle internet philosophers for centuries to come.
What happens to someone when they stop logging into their YouTube account?
Do they die? Or do they just disappear?
The Greg Solomon Debacle
So, as the month of August 2007 rolled around and Kenneth once more entered his summer heat, he devised an all new plan to get as many viewers as possible. Upon spying Casey Nunez over on LiveVideo broadcasting the 'news' that GregSolomon had kicked the bucket, Phantom went straight over to YouTube and declared Solomon dead on the spot.He claimed to have done a great deal of research into the matter through his access as a newspaper worker to national obituaries, although most of his regular audience thought this was fiction. But by this time the rumour had snowballed with a lot of mainstream users actually starting to listen to what he was saying.So much so that even Renetto got involved making a video speculating about Solomon's state of health, which was of course exactly what Dennis wanted.After a fortnight or so of people pondering the possibilities, given there was no chance of finding proof of his death and subsequently no way to disprove the Phantom's bold claim, Kenneth announced he was going to look into the matter further considering he had shown no hard documentation.
Greg Solomon is Dead !*%#!1!! - I have Proof !
Aftermath of the Greg Solomon Debacle
After the greg solomon issue was over and done with,wtvcrew1 decided it was time to take action against a different power.He decided he was going to attack Encyclopedia Dramatica due to an article posted about him.At first though,he went after the primary share holder of Macintosh Corporation because he thought Steve Jobbs,the primary share holder,attacked him.But after looking into all the matters he figured it couldn't have been Steve Jobbs because that was his son in law.Wtvcrew1 was going to launch a multi-billion dollar lawsuit against macintosh corp. for the violation of slander of his name.After the matter was figured out he got lost in the back alley of his apartment building and was never seen again until June 15th 2007.After eventually finding his way out he returned with stories of how he had traveled back in time to the 1920s and become a famous silent screen actor.He then went back to his normal life of making videos in his car and working for USA Today.
Quotes
I am trying to peacefully resolve with all parties involved in the personal attack on me with youtube in which I was actually innocent of in the beginning. Trevor Rieger of TVTalkshows.com is willing to end all personal attacks involving me on youtube.com. Now I have requested MikeSkehan to also remove the ban involving me in which I was actually innocent of in which I stated in the very beginning. There was a profile in which I knew nothing of and stated this from the very beginning. I have no associations of whom or what or WHY they created this profile. I have no knowledge of what this profile but will state clearly that I only seen the videos. This is to whomever is under that profile. I hope you get banned for setting me up and framed. I do not appreciate being setup for something I knew nothing about. I do not appreciate being framed for something I knew nothing about. The video on youtube is my video and I am acknowledging with all of the fake mes being circulated on youtube.com. This is an attempt to resolve with all parties involved in getting me banned for no reason.
PHANTOM409.com's LOLSUIT
Encyclopedia Dramatica gets sued by phantom409.com The website known as encyclopedia dramatica has received a notice by Florida Attourney General office in Cooperation with the Federal Government in filing a Federal Lawsuit against encyclopedia Dramatica in violation of several FCC Violations. August 9, 2007, Florida Senator Mel Martinez filed a petition in demanding that all profiles on encyclopedia dramatica gets removed or the domain to get shut down for releasing private information of username phantom409 aka wtvcrew1 because the domain violated all statutes of invasion of privacy act. They stated the reason for this dramatic twist is that the domain violated criminal violations. Three months ago, phantom409 asked that all materials toward phantom409 got removed and asked the domain owner to remove the materials and was told by the domain holder to go F(*) off. Therefore, phantom409.com immediately filed a complaint to the FCC and filed a complaint with Mel Martinez in having something done to the domain. As of yesterday, I received a letter by Mel Martinez including a court order to have the domain shut down or all materials involving myself be removed. They also stated in the letter that the State of Florida and Several Federal offices intends to sue Encyclopedia Dramatica and that I will be receiving the awards settlement from what is left after the Attourney Fees in implemented. Therefore, I am once again and officially posting on the domain because I want to give ED plenty of time to remove before they receive the letter to remove any and all materials involving me and my domain or they could be facing criminal charges. (Hint Hint: Mike Skehan) We are not playing around and we are not making a joke out of your domain. We are quite serious in pressing charges because you released my real name, my address, my phone number and the place where I work because I printed it out and forwarded it to Mel Martinez. I also sent to WWE a copy of the Chris Benoit article that was posted and they intend to have something done about your article as well. You guys has best remove all mention of me on your domain because it is not funny when you post any articles involving me on your domain and I do not find it funny at all and now you are feeling my wrath of releasing private information about people on the internet. Whose laughing now ED. You have been warned of your consequences so you best try and get out of trouble by removing all mention of me on your domain because now you could be facing jail time, losing money, and getting shut down permanently by the Federal Government and the State of Florida who does not find it funny. Getting it in the butt hurts now dont it?
Recent Phantom409 Internet Faggotry
Recently Phantom409 filed FALSE DMCA's against eight videos that were posted on the "Rennetto" account on Dramatube.net! Having only a brain cell and a half in which to process information with Phantom409 swore up and down that Utubedrama's Trevor Rieger was behind that account. After Phantom409 filed the false DMCA's it came to light that Trevor Rieger was in fact NOT the owner of that account.
Because the Dramatube.net Admin specifically told Phantom409 to NOT file ANY DMCA's after he was continually messaging them crying and whining like a little girl about the pwnage videos attempting to manipulate them into coddling and protecting him. He has been PERMABANNED from Dramatube.net for violating the "Freedom Of Speech, BITCH!" spirit that the Dramatube.net website was founded upon. After learning of his banishment Phantom409 began an onslaught of pathetic emo videos directed at the Dramatube.net website creator FragUPlenty claiming that he would "do anything" to be given just one more chance and to have his account reinstated to which FragUPlenty replied that he had two choices.
1. He could have his butt fugly wife Bandikat shove a plunger up his ass hole rubber end first and then remove it licking off whatever contents remained OR 2. He could run down the street naked while taking a shit while his butt fugly wife Bandikat recorded the event on video to be uploaded to the Vloggerheads.com website. Phantom409 chose #2. On the day that it all was supposed to take place his butt fugly wife declared that she was "ill" from accidentally catching a glimpse of her morbidly obese body in a store window reflection so it would have to wait for another day.
Phantom409 has deleted ALL of the videos from his Youtube account and also from his Vloggerheads account in fear of retaliation for his recent internet faggotry. Every other video Phantom409 makes he changes up on who he thinks that is responsible for the mysterious "Rennetto" account that was posting all of the pwnage videos about him. His most recent person being Digger because Digger is the one that broke the story of him having filed the FALSE DMCA notices. To which Digger has claimed that he has taken over Phantom409's defunct internet group the N.W.O. Digger has continued to create the lulz that he is best known for on Dramatube.net. Phantom409 "If you are not down with that, then, I got two words for you... SUCK IT!"...lol...
Gallery
See Also
Resources
- i-Tube account aka Prince Vlad LOL!
- Phantom409 stars in a gay Porno
- Kenny's cute lil DramaTube page
- Kenny is back!
- Kenneth's
currentbaleeteed channel on the The Promised Land - Phantom409.com WTF FTW!!! (Site is dead but here's an archived peek.)
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Phantom409 is part of a series on |
People Argent009 •
AskTheTyrant •
Astablazia •
Caveman •
Denalynnn •
Faye006
Live Video Departments THE PROMISED LAND • ED Exodus into The Promised Land • The Promised Land/Lulzvasion • The First Plague: Fire • The Hatred Starts • Live Video Police Department • Star Trek Dweebs • TL;DW Key: * means user has closed their Live Video Channel |
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