K00lAIDGIRL
Name: Kristine Michelle Jones
Legend: A poor, pathetic sap's object of desire
Quote: keep pushing me people
K00lAIDGIRL, born Kristine Michelle Jones; believes she is the head honcho of les tubes, or at least one of the voices in her head told her so. With her fellow handicapped/disabled friends Dylan Kimberlin and GuyFellow, amongst an army of socks, she tries to convince all of YouTube that they are ones not to be reckoned with. From her overly-assured comments made in plain sight; Kristine will claim to have you hacked, doxed, ruined, and possibly assassinated.
Back To Business
Some people are loads that should have been swallowed, Koolaidgirl should have been aborted. Some believe that should still be done. When she is not crying for men to white knight her, she is running all over several social networking sites trying to take credit for those that have done all the work trying to shield her from ridicule.
It all started one day when this middle-aged woman decided to pretend she was an Ex-Marine, lie about her weight, height, and features to lure men with obviously no real sex life to join her in her feeble attempts to tear down women that received more attention than she did, including MorganAnson, LambiSinClair and Tomken8dy(yes, he counts as a woman). It all failed when Lambi made racier videos than ever before, Morgan typed her own correctly doxed name and phone numbers in YouTube comments, and Tomken8dy exposed himself as the hermaphrodite he really is. This caused her to go over the deep end in a RAGE.
People noticed a trend in her behavior, she remained friends with those that could help her, and attacked anyone she wanted, thinking that she was under the sweet doves wing of her protectors. Slowly, her confidants either turned to MorganAnson's side (they liked pigs better than rats, apparently) or they turned on her giving the enemy the information and PMs and comments they needed to expose this rat once and for all.
But nothing bothers KAG on the internetz.
Skype Quotes from a Lunatic
—KAG, sex talk | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
BANANA PHONE
In a drunken fit of rage one night, KAG and her disabled lover, Dylan Kimberlin decided it would be a great idea to repeatedly call and harass KatyMayFey, a mother of 4 and wife to an amputee to ask the age old question.
Do you want to lick her pussy? Meow Kitteh Kitteh
Kristine was forced to tap into her personal line to the mayor after KatyMayFey called the police of Caroline County. The police had to go to the basement to have a little chat with her, and let her know that harassment and death threats are actually a crime. Soon after this, the whole internet found out that koolaidgirl is nothing more than a basement dwelling loser living off her obese brother's welfare disability paychecks.
Koolaid goes to the Mayor
Someone should call (804) 663-6212 and demand a personal line as well. There are some great people in history, who have been allowed direct lines to the Mayor
No internet stalker should be without direct political help. Koolaidgirl is one of those very important people. She's just like Batman and the Power Puff girls, except instead of being full of awesome, she's full of negro cum.
Kristine's X boyfriend
After a number of weeks of being stalked by Kristine and her disabled lover, Kristines X boyfriend decided to; 1.) BAW profusely, 2.) BAW profusely, 3.) BAW profusely 4.) FINALLY post something lulzy (there is a god... disreguard, I suck cocks).
Some douchebags on Koolaidgirl
Losers with nothing better to do get involved, this one who apparently knew Kristine personally and decided to help the cause by releasing the truth about her arrest record, under Kristine Thomas.
—BoogarBeans aka her brother | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Angel Wings?
KAGS one of the nastiest of the bunch of bitches. No complexion, pale like Casper, pink like pork. Never knows shit and just wants to get in your business like the dumb clueless hoe that she is. She has an irritating attitude and is as shady as you can get. Lies straight to your face when you can see right through the bitch. Materialistic while always in denial of her ways, claiming otherwise. Mostly just trouble and not worth shit.
A Desperate Kristine owns herself
Tired of all the ownage coming her way, and with her retarded lover unable to do anything aside from throwing tantrums like a child. Kristine decided to turn to some old friends to try and get some support. Little did she know that she was entering the wolf's lair and allowing some very incriminating confessions to come to light.
In the following video she is seen trying to mend fences with her former toothless e-lover, TheSockDetective, who she bragged about providing her with the greatest cybersex. Apparently Michael's liquor dick still makes her clit hard as it easy to see from this video that Kristine is e-cheating on her stupid boyfriend. But no worries, Dylan Kimberlin is too fucking stupid and delusional to realize Kristine just made a fool out of him. Time for Dylan to go back to raging at his other cougar, Stylidiumlane for dumping him.
The Happy Birthday Massacre
Koolaidgirl had been slowly and systematically turning her mildly retarded e-boyfriend Dylan Kimberlin against everyone on the internets, in an attempt to use her one-man personal army to rebuild her long dead self-esteem. The internets responded by slowly and systematically infiltrating all of her and Dylan's accounts, and monitoring their chats for about 2 months. Many many dirty secrets came out in that time period. It was discovered that Kristine was essentially using Dylan, while fucking around on him behind his back the whole time, with several black guys and TheSockDetective. In fact, it was discovered that, although she had never sent so much as a picture of her tits to Dylan, she was actively cybering with TheSockDetective on several occasions.
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Her own father didn't want Kristine at his funeral -
Cheating on Dylan with Socko
The internets patiently waited until Kristine's birthday, July 27th, 2010, to expose this massive sting. One by one, accounts were commandeered and remodeled. As Kristine and Dylan slowly realized what was happening, they began releasing frantic distress messages.
—Dylan Kimberlin, lerning2internet | ||
A bittersweet victory came for Dylan later that day when he was able recover his now infamous facebook account. Unfortunately for him, now he gets to go through the uncomfortable chore of explaining to his family and friends why his schlong was posted all over his account earlier in the day. Family gatherings will never be quite the same again.
Here's a list of all the accounts that fell victim that hilarious day:
- GHOST0FKAG
- s0ftAz1c3
- GH0STOFKAG
- kaghappy
- kaguploads
- K00lAIDGIRL terminated
- K00lAIDGIRL3 grabbed by the YTYC
- MorganLovesRodBurch
- WARlSART
k00laidgirl- dylankimberlin
- http://dylankimberlin.wordpress.com/
- http://www.dylankimberlin.blogspot.com/
- http://www.whatsupcreepshow.blogspot.com/
- [email protected]
- [email protected]
- [email protected]
- Dylan's Facebook - recovered
Skype Accounts
- koolaidgirl2 - recovered
- kitanaful
- dylankimberlin
Kristine Reacts
—Kristine, talking tough | ||
Mah pictures on teh internets? oooh noes...
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Kristine's own Father didn't want her at his funeral.
External Links
- Koolaidgirl's i-Tube Account
- Myspace Profile (Before becoming a poster child for the Adult abortion movement, Kristine was a normal myspace slut who stopped aging at age 40)
- Flickr Gallery (You can't hide from Arabic Satanist Hackers Allahuakbar! No more lying to the e-fucks derp derp)
- Kristine was recently exposed by accident on a mass flagging spree when two men, a known e-lover of MorganAnson, UnionLaw/PhuckZone and a midget slatanikka6699 made a video PM war, which inadvertently showed her behind the elite Flagging crew, KAG's Scags.
- http://www.dramatube.net/profile/koolaidgirl604 LULZ IS WAR, Guise
- http://www.blogtv.com/people/koolaidgir1/
- http://twitter.com/K00LAIDGIRL as if anyone gives a shit about what loser drunk she's trying to e-fuck
- http://samuraifilms.org/browse/episode/Ghost%20Story Trunique La Chelle Thomas, Kristine's daughter in a shitty short film getting laid. Notice the pointy knee caps.
Youtube Accounts
- GHOST0FKAG
- CYBERKOOLAID
- K00lAIDGIRL
- K00lAIDGIRL2 - this one is actually controlled by TheSockDetective. Recent revelations show it is just Kristine who is pretending to be TheSockDetective, and sending herself hearties and shit.
- K00lAIDGIRL3
- MorganLovesRodBurch This is the account where Kristine pretends to be MorganAnson and talks to herself because nobody else will.
- JessaNurse
- MissCandiceMiller
Contact Information
- Address:Kristen M. Jones c/o Bro. Charles Jones 2508 QUAIL OAK DR, Ruther Glen, VA 22546
- Phone: 415-618-0869,703-850-2624, 804-448-8024
- Karnel Thomas (Ex-husband)
VP-Member Services
Utilities Telecom Council
1901 Pennsylvania Ave. NW, Fifth Floor
Washington, DC 20006
[email protected]
- Trunique Thomas (Daughter)
Smoothie Maker
Wallajuice
4487 Cheshire Station Plaza
Woodbridge, VA
703-670-2207
Related Articles
- Dylan Kimberlin
- Cougars
- Th3Royism
- LambiSinClair
- MorganAnson
- TheSockDetective
- Tom Serson
- Lesleyblood
- Unwarranted Self-Importance
- Aspies
| K00lAIDGIRL is part of a series on LERNIN 2 INTERNET 
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Pitfalls: Aspierations • BLANKING IN PROGRESS • Charming Naïveté • Delete fucking everything • DOIN IT RONG • Edginess • Failing it • Internet tough guy • Kids on the internet • Legal action • Liberalism • Mental illness • Mod Sass • Skript kiddies • Sob Stories • Trolls • Unrealistic Expectations • Unwarranted Self-Importance • Waaaambulance Previous Hiscores: PROTIPS: |
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K00lAIDGIRL is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |
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