Starblade

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Not to be confused with Star Blade.

This user was willing to die for the lulz... and did.

Starblade (Powerword: Mathew Finnigan - May 12, 1984 to September 22, 2010) was a 26-year-old American male LJ user who believed that HE was a female dragon. He suffered from Asperger's Syndrome and was schizophrenic, having no ability to differentiate between reality and fiction. He was also a voraphile, pregnophile, otherkin, furry, and plushie lover, and drew terrible fan art which he posted on Elfwood. Like many insane gay furries, Starblade was also an Objectivist. And he was into defiling video games by placing them in his ~~anus~~ username.

Choice Starblade quotes

	“	Fuck you, I'm a dragon	„
	—Starblade Riven Darksquall. Had to be said.

	“	Who knows, I may be known as the bisexual "Che", and inspire the next generation of politically aware and ethical rebels. ^^	„
	—Starblade on his legacy

	“	IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF WHEN A PREDATORY FUR TURNS PREY AND THEN EVERYBODY'S EATING THEM! WHAT THE FUCK, WORLD? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WANTED TO BE EATEN! FUCK THIS SHIT! [..] Maybe I didn't make this clear enough to you, world, that I was the prey. NOT HIM! ME! And you know WHY????? I was the only one who could take digestion like the dragon I was. [..] Being in a stomach is like being held all over your body.	„
	—Starblade, in a 100% serious meltdown

	“	Because I've DONE what I could to be tasty.	„
	—Starblade

	“	I. Fucking. Hate. The. World. I want to kill myself, not because the world's too good for me, but because I'm too good for the world.	„
	—Starblade

	“	You don't understand how deeply metaphorical I am.	„
	—Starblade

	“	I've decided to make the attempt at leaving for good coincide with my going into rehab for the stalker thing.	„
	—Starblade, lying

	“	I think I can do with going to prison. It's a sort of middle option between rehabilitation and suicide.	„
	—{{{19}}}

Previous Quote | Next Quote

The Beginning

Originally from a voraphile chat, Starblade soon spread like a pandemic disease to a MUD called Alfandria, where he indulged his many fetishes and garnered at least 100 eBoyfriends, all of which he promptly lost in a matter of months because he refused to stop obsessing over Palshife. His manipulative behavior and constant whining about Palshife earned him a public stoning, whereupon he fled on the waaambulance from Alfandria with his astral tail tucked between his legs.

Starblade became affiliated with the online (IRC, Forums etc) Draconic community in the first half of 2002, who attempted to gain a foothold in the IRC created project known as Dracogenesis, which contained a collection of computer programmers, who wanted to create a retrovirus that was designed to turn them all into dragons. His only contribution to either the project itself or the Draconic community has appeared to be nothing more than foolish, depressing role-play that ended in unnecessary drama, and his departure from that community.

The Journal Years

With a face like that, you'd rely on surprise sex too.

	“	You're just pissed because I totally dissed on you for being a total dragonslut, Palshifter.	„
	—Starblade Riven Darksquall

Months later he showed up on LiveJournal where he spent most of his time writing TL;DR posts about shit nobody cares about and Palshife.

Starblade first came to the attention of many LJ users when he made several posts in debate on the topic of furryism and being a dragon. It is from these posting that the acronym "FYIAD" was born.

When Aspies Go Missing

After making a series of mysterious and cryptic posts in May of 2004, he disappeared. Many speculated as to what happened to Starbles. Some believed he was arrested, others believed he was committed for his dragon fantasies and his obsessive eStalking of Palshife, while still others believed he was dead. It was agreed upon, however, that he could not have possibly have left the Internets of his own volition.

It was discovered that he paid someone who he thought was Palshife to come from Ohio to have anal sex with him; it turned out to be another pregnovorazoophile friend of his. His promise to "leave the Internet" was enforced by a cruel dominatrix master.

Mysterious Reappearance

A few months later, Starbles re-appeared as ZeroYellowYoshi, and later still as Starbles. This can be expected to change on a monthly basis as people ferret him out. Currently he has a friends only journal, but occasionally makes public postings. None of them are very interesting and still contain his unique stream of consciousness style of writing.

Screen-capped Crazy

Starblade admits to stalking and 'destroying' Palshife.
Going on strike against the internet for not appreciating his hot dragon bod.
"I want to kill myself, not because the world's too good for me, but because I'm too good for the world."
An Hero threat #125: Becoming a Water Dragon in San Francisco Bay.
An Hero #432: death by drinking.
Starbles' attempt to become An Hero is thwarted.

Death

Starblade was stabbed once in the chest by his aspie buddy "James Torrey Hill" in September of 2010. The dragon slayer was arrested at the scene for attempted murder but the charge was later upgraded to murder when Starblade died a few hours after he arrived at the hospital via dongcopter.

James Torrey Hill, who frequently fantasized about violence before the stabbing, has pled not guilty by reason of insanity, but still has not been convicted. A college student writing an article on the murder was able to contact him and went to Monterey County Jail to see him in person. The article is here and contains interviews from Torrey, as well as Starblade's parents, whose address was found by the journalist on this very page.

	“	So someone got murdered and I can't help but be every so slightly amused. Starblade, aka Matthew Finnegan, was murdered by a friend, according to news. Being as someone who gave me a lot of shit, I can't help being a little happy. Even if they're dead, I can't say that I'm sad. gets more dewatches ooo	„
	—Arcturus