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William Unek
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FACT ALERT: This man was the former world champion, so respect him! |
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|---|---|
| William Unek | |
| Nationality: | Congolese 
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| Highscore | Killed 57, injured 30 |
| Top 25? | Yes, #7 on FPS Single player server, and #2 on the Hack'N'Slash server! |
| Style | Single Player |
| An Hero? | No |
William Unek was a lulzy nigger Cop who in 1954 and 1957 went on not one, but TWO high score attempts! Racking up a total of 57 fellow niggers pwnd and leaving at least 30 more with PTSD in modern-day Congo and Tanzania. For 25 years, Unek held the high score on the worldwide single player FPS leaderboard before being dethroned by another cop, this time a chink in South Korea who managed to kill 56 people and injure 35 others. Whilst the chink cop managed to outdo Unek's shooting spree by deaths, Unek still had the all-time single player high score by total kill count, meaning Unek was still technically world champion. It wasn't until 2011 when Justicar Knight Fjotolf Hansen offically outdid Unek by 77, claiming the platinum trophy. Despite being the former high score holder, almost literally nobody fucking knows about him, he isn't even mentioned that much when news media discuss the worst mass shootings in world history. However, he is still the high score holder (in terms of total kills) on the single player Africa server and has been for 60 years!.
From Humble Beginnings
William Unek was born precisely in 1929 in the Belgian Congo on the continent of Niggerland. Literally nothing is known about his life before the ethnic cleansing's, or when he even became a police officer (a constable to be exact) or even why he went on his first rampage. Though we could probably try and speculate why based on his environment: Lets face it, Niggerland is a huge, hot as shit, desolated wasteland filled with nothing but monkeys, giraffes, deserts, ebola, drugs, warlords, annoying-ass insects, BBC, AIDS, and in the south, WHITE NIGGERS!. Perhaps because of all these factors, especially it being hot as hell, of course William would go batshit crazy!!! It's a literal HELLHOLE! He probably decided he couldn't handle Niggerland and thought his only purpose in life was to troll it to lash out against the circumstances of his life, and what better way to troll your environment than the classic, soon-to-be upcoming American mainstream tradition of trolling?
1954: Left 4 Dead IRL:
On January 1st 1954 our protagonist decided to start the New Year off with a bang and grabbed an axe in the village of Mahagi, Belgian Congo and proceeded to hack and slash 21 brain-eating zombies to death under an hour and fight his way out before retreating into the wilderness and crossing the border into Britbong Tanganyika Territory, going under a fake name.
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kill count: | 21/20 |
| Accuracy: | 20/20 |
| Style: | 17/20 Nigga with an axe |
| Butthurt: | 11/20 Only Afrikaners cared |
| Bonus: | 20/20 Bonus for successful escape! |
| Total score: 89/100 (B+) | |
Wanted Level:
___________________
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___________________
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Police Force
1957: Nigger Cop 2: Electric Boogaloo
3 years after the amok, Willy would realize committing ethnic trolling wouldn't be enough to satisfy his shitty, niggery excuse of a life. So what do you do when not even going on a killing rampage was enough to make your life meaningful and not boring? You go on another one! On February 11th 1957, in the village of Malampaka, Willy misunderstood his bosses words "police the village" for "KILL THE FUCKING KIKES!". So thats exactly what w1lly did, wearing his police uniform, he stole a Lee-Enfield with 50 rounds, grabbing ANOTHER axe, and arming himself a knife, W1lly went on the prowl for the next 12 hours shooting, hacking, stabbing, strangling, and BURNING 36 Jewish Niggers before changing into one of his victims clothes and fleeing ONCE AGAIN!
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kill count: | 36/20 |
| Accuracy: | 17/20 |
| Style: | 18/20 Old tactics mixed in with new for maximum effect! |
| Butthurt: | 13/20 Caused a little bit more butthurt than the last one, sparked a region-wide manhunt for Unek! |
| Bonus: | 20/20 More bonus points for ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL escape and better kill count! |
| Total score: 104/100 (S-) | |
Wanted Level:
___________________
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___________________
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National Guard
Manhunt and Death
After the lulz in Malampaka William went on the run for 9 days and was being hunted by tribesmen, police officers, and even the Britfags got involved by dispatching a Kings African Rifles company! Everything was going great, but there was one problem: Apparently Willy forgot to steal some food while escaping Malampaka, and so the retard is starving. So he came across the house of fellow negroid Iyumbu ben Ikumbu. Ikumbu reported this to the police, and Unek returned the next day to ask again for food, still armed, the 2 talked for nearly 2 hours before the watermelon police arrived at Ikumbu's house and threw a smoke grenade into the house, which then caught the house on fire, resulting in Unek to turn into fried watermelon chicken, ultimately landing him in the hospital, where he would receive a wasted screen due to severe burns
Total Graded Score
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kill count: | 57/20 |
| Accuracy: | 14/20 At least 30 or more people were injured as a result of both rampages |
| Style: | 20/20 GTA in Africa |
| Butthurt: | 14/20 Got a lot of coverage in Afrika, not so much elsewhere |
| Bonus: | 20/20 Worldwide high score champion at the time! |
| Total score (added with previous graded scores): 193/100 (S+) | |
See Also
- Anders Behring Breivik - Norwegian Neo-Nazi Christfag who dressed as a cop during his shooting
- Woo Bum-kon - Another cop that went on a murder spree and got just as many kills as Unek!
- Chris Dorner - Another Black Spree killer .
- Tony48219 - Spree killer & religious fundamentalist.
