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Second Life
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KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID! This article is TL;DR. You can help by editing this page and removing the large blocks of boring text. |
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Second Life is a game, a place where people with no lives can pretend they have two. It is an online virtual community where you interact with others via your avatar; these are invariably created according to a "wishful thinking" design scheme, and thus all of the women (80% of whom are said to be men behind their keyboards—the remaining twenty percent are of course fatties IRL) are big-eyed and wasp-waisted; all of the men (the number who are really dykes is yet to be closely studied) are athletic and acne-free. The only interesting thing that ever happened to Second Life is the "Interview with Floating Dongs" (scroll down) inflicted by clever scripters on a very wishful-thinking animation of a woman who made her fortune being pimped as a cyberwhore (probably by her IRL husband) and the nice reporting and publicity from that by Something Awful. The title of second life is somewhat inaccurate, because it implies that the user had a first life as well as his game progress on the "game". However, if they have enough free time to pretend to be an anorexic woman with big tits ( even though they're probably middle-aged men ) or a fucking fox, then clearly this isn't the case.
It had a Teen-grid where all the kids were getting raped by furfags, Later it got merged with the official grid, which we all know will results in many lulz. Should attract ED's attention though
The only people who currently play SL are assorted Brazilians and furfags looking for someone to possibly have sex with them.
Second Life Society
Inevitably, Second Life has become a new haven for the Furfag community. Due to the game's versatile nature and the wide variety of virtual sex acts and interactive genitals available, the furfags have begun to flock to Second Life in increasingly large numbers. Many have even gone so far as to establish their own virtual furry sex enclaves.
A sizable Gorean community exists on Second Life. Some argue that this Gorean community is even worse than that of the furries. The Gorean idiots like to pretend it's the year 1600 or some bullshit like that, and take slutty prisoners and fuck them with their badly made interwebs cock, thus further spreading AIDS and attracting furries.
Goreans are, in actual fact, normal compared to furries. Let's face it; who wouldn't want a nubile slave girl to rape over and over again? Which is not true - Goreans mostly are fat old guys with no life, old housewifes with no life and ugly girls thinking about becoming lesbian. And they all LOVE causing drama. Good example of trolling way for them looks like this
- 1. Create female avatar (which is important)
- 2. Infiltrate some community of theirs and find out who is their alpha slut (she or he usually cybers with admin and claims to be his or her irl girlfriend or boyfriend or something)
- 3. Play along with this shit
- 4. State that Gor novels are copied version of Robert E. Howard books and they also promote Nazi ideology
- 5. ?????
- 6. PROFIT!!!
Warning! This is only an example-you'll need to think how to do this right or you'll get banned fast.
Economy
Second Life users are encouraged to pay for in-game money, which they can then use to buy in-game goods. Second Life likes to promote this economy in the old media as being rich with items such as houses, nightclubs, designer clothes, and popular music.
Actually, the primary industry in Second Life is cock.
All Second Life avatars are built like Ken and Barbie by default, in that they are without any form of genitalia. To counter this, thriving cock and cunt industries have emerged. These cocks and cunts have been designed and programmed to act just like their real-life equivalents, with the exception that they always work but you have to fap at the same time to get a truly sad illusion.
Common features of Second Life cocks and cunts include:
- Erection or engorgement
- Pubic hair which appears or disappears on command
- Power Word: Piss
- Power Word: Cum
- Twitch on touch (Truly repugnant)
Most of Second Life's user base can be found outside the cock or cunt shops. Here they purchase and make use of the latest in penis or vulva technology. Most Second Lifers remain in a perpetual state of undress around these shops, many of them publicly engaging in cybersex. If you should find yourself wanting a cock or cunt, simply follow the trail of nude avatars and lols to the nearest penis or vulva store.
Things to Do
New users can marvel at all of the sights in Second Life. Colleges, nightclubs, cozy homes, clothing stores, and concerts are generally uninhabited. This keeps the lag down for the few people who might be interested in such things.
The other ninety-nine percent of users can be found habitually entering asl or outside new user portals, cock stores, and wacky gothic sex clubs.
Another feature is the ability to build just about anything you want out of one or more primitive shapes. The best use of this feature is to make a big immovable box and drop it on top of people at random. Bonus points if you use the scripting language to make it constantly play an annoying sound or fly off over the horizon with them still trapped inside. Another fun thing to do is create something that endlessly self-replicates until the servers grind to a halt trying to keep track of them all, kinda similar in operation to a forkbomb. Note that this could be a swift way to get your account permabanned.
Note that anything you can do, an automated script can do in your absence. Lots of automated scripts can do it a lot in your absence. Therefore creating a swarm of invisible objects that home in on the nearest person and spawn the grief of your choice on contact before heading on to the next sucker is an effective way to render an area completely unusable for all practical purposes without needing to crash any servers—and it's funnier because people will keep coming back no matter how many times they get hit.
Some areas are set up in such a way that anyone teleporting in via the map view get redirected to a predetermined point, usually taking the form of a welcome area with "no guns allowed, STRICTLY ENFORCED" signs, avatar shops, and other such faggotry. Needless to say, you should leave giant boxes, particle spammers, loud annoying noises, automated pushguns or whatever else you have at hand in these locations whenever the opportunity presents itself. Bonus points if the area in question happens to be inaccessible without teleporting.
When you create an avatar, you are given a choice of dozens of pre-made last names, one of which is "Fapp". Needless to say, you should always choose this name.
Although Second Life was built for social interaction not much occurs in the game, as most residents have to spend their time "camping". This is when a user has to sit in one spot for an hour so the land appears to be popular, in return the user will get a few linden dollars worth virtually nothing in real life and in game could buy the person a wonky penis.
Serious Business
Regular inhabitants of Second Life will treat it with the same degree of importance they place upon their real life, possibly a result of not having one in the first place, and will merrily report anything that inconveniences them in any way. As a result, the admins are completely overwhelmed with users whining about shit like somebody leaving an e-car parked on their e-lawn, thereby preventing said admins from being able to act if, for example, somebody were to repeatedly build Polaris missiles underneath groups of innocent bystanders and launch them fifty miles into the air.
Lovers of Freedom on Second Life
Though Second Life is heavily populated by sexual deviants and woar criminals, there does exist a loose network of virtue-loving freedom fighters who conduct operations under the radar of the fascist, land-owning oligarchy and their furry-sympathizing foot soldiers. Operating out of a network of secret bases and under the auspices of a loosely-knit network of like-minded internet patriots, these brave insurgents live in a constant state of danger, as right-wing militias and secret police assets permeate the whole of Second Life. As such, a veil of secrecy is maintained at all times, and potential members may generally be required to undergo grueling questioning before joining one of the many cells. If you wish to join the resistance, please make contact one of the following mujaheddin operatives using SL's "search" option:
- ChairMan Fapp - Currently banned by fascist Linden mods for nothing more than documenting and photographing anti-furry raids (and also for driving the getaway hovercraft and supplying militants with moral and logistical support, enemy troop movements, rifles, banana phones, Kool-Aid Man suits, and server-crashing doomsday devices).
- Hoss Holgado - Currently banned for intolerance, indecency, harassment, embezzlement of over L$800 by filling out HippiePay surveys with false information, wearing Ku Klux Klan garb, sound spamming, racism, crashing regions with malicious scripts, and not being a furry.
The Department of Justice is a proud organization. The DoJ Agent's duty is to cut off the head of the snake of injustice and watch it writhe around in its own feces, blood, and mucus, making eccentric circles in the sand until it expires.
- The Patriotic Nigras - The creators of Fort Longcat, PN is a furry-resistance (resistance to furries, that is) organization spreading peace and lulz all over the Second Life world.
- Woodbury University - Actually a real University, in California. Made the hilarious decision of leaving their $5000 investment in SL in the capable hands of /b/tards. They can be found griefing Prokofy Neva and Ravenglass Rentals, or in Longcat, pissing away university funds on giant penises. Somehow, they've successfully brainwashed Intlibber Brautigan into thinking they're legit and not just a bunch of retards in it for the lulz, and just about all of them are banlink mods because of it.
- W-Hat - a relatively large Something Awful-based group that may or may not still hate everything in Second Life, and codes furiously to fuck it up as much as possible. There are rumors in both directions, hotly debated by some. Most people don't care. They claim to not "grief" so therefore should be considered fail by default.
- Room 101 - another group that is solely dedicated to griefing, DEFINITELY NOT ASSOCIATED WITH THE W-HATS, NOT IN ANY WAY OR FORM!
- DiSSENTiON - A trolling group that consists of one man, who has aids.
- Lustress Hax - is a closet Greifer/Second Life Mentor/Linden(?) who has been spotted hanging around the Dolcett kitchen. Despite her public hatred of all things sexually explicit, she can almost always be found in various sex sims. In the rare case said resident is not working the streets in some mature region, she can be found selling out exploits to Dan Linden. Speculation has been raised as to why Lustress Hax hasn't been banned for various greifing attacks. Little do her fellow mentors know that this devious /b/tard is actually one of the most disruptive residents on SL, responsible for getting huge numbers of n00bs v& and b&. When confronted she just says she does it for the Lulz, and science.
Enemies of Freedom on Second Life
- Phlat Bartfeld is a creepy gorean who gets off on humping thirteen and a half year olds and can tricked into listing to almost any meme to do it.
- Plastic Duck -
Pioneering architect whose groundbreaking postmodernist buildings and performance art sadly did not did satisfy the tyrannical whims of the Lindens. Alas, after his stunning and expressive tribute to the victims of 9/11 Plastic Duck met the banhammer. Despite this, his spirit will live on in the dreams and hopes of creative Nigras forever.
Plastic Duck now works for Linden Labs. His job now includes helping them kill innocent black people, and give head job to furfags. DO NOT GO NEAR HIM OR TRUST AT ALL COSTS! !!!!is thar a source on this? If SLH says so, it must be true.
- Mike Mission is a fucking fascist who runs the "Calloway Club" in the region of Mowry, likes to report people for failing to heed his fascist whims, mangles the inherent beauty of the English language by deploying the infantile term "griefers" against those who refuse to submit to his faggotry, himself engages in activity that could be properly termed "griefing" according to his own moronic, child-like worldview, and is probably involved with Wikipedia in some form or another, because, seriously, he just fits the bill.
- Corsi Mousehold is a the worst kind of furry, a diaper fur. These furs wear diapers so they can vigorously masturbate with their own feces with out soiling their fapping chairs. Though Corsi adamantly asserts he is incontinent, its rumored he has a diaper fetish. Corsi is also guilty of being a Furnation moderator and a known nigger hater. In addition to this he is also a faggot and failed trap, using a voice changer to disguise his digsuting basement dwelling redneck accent as that of a robotic sounding, high pitched eight year old girl's voice. Currently, Corsi dates another Ordo member on his main SL account, and on his alt account dates the leader of the wanna-be SL military 2142, which is an exact copy of EA's Battlefield 2142 and a massive lawsuit waiting to happen.
- Lissa Strom AKA the whore of many faces. Lissa started off as a prostitute in a strip club before she started seducing men in SL with her tom-boy lesbian attitude. When she found out about roleplay on SL she quickly began her career as a RP stripper and or prostitute, her pimp a large black man named Bigz who she did lines of cyber-cocaine off his dick. After her fiance dumped her in real life for being chubby with masculine features, she changed her life style to never leave Second Life. She is also a pedophile, having been in a relationship and sending dirty pictures to a minor on SL. Eventually embracing her sluttiness after a kid knocked her teeth out, she became a bondage slut then made the next logical step and became a Gorean hooker.
- Shadow Pidgeon is a butthurt ex-Mentor from Second Life who acts like she still is. She is known to repeatedly ask what the nerd said. Has some odd obsession with flushing toilets. And she really, REALLY does not know where da hood is at. Drawing her a map might help in this case. She usually hangs out in a welcome area and will remind you of it. Known ways of trolling her are to offer her some berry blue Koolaid, or red, red wine. She really does not like brightly-colored drinks. If you encounter her, beware her mighty STILETTO BOOTS and you must worship her every way you can. Nothing less will be acceptable.
- Anyone who owns property or commercial operations in SL must be assumed to be a bourgeois running-dog imperialist class enemy and a hater of nigras, as these users benefit most from the status quo, and are thus resistant to the inevitable collapse of the Linden dollar economy as new markets become rarer
and the capitalist-mercantile system crumbles with the onset of post-colonialism.HAHAHAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, MILITARY EXPANSION FUELS WAR INDUSTRY THUS OFFSETTING POST COLONIAL ECONOMIC IMPLOSION BUT EVENTUALLY LEADS TO OVEREXTENSION AND CULTURAL BACKLASH RESULTING IN A SLOW DECLINE PUNCTUATED BY BRIEF PERIODS OF EXPLOSIVE VIOLENCE.
- Furries, lol.
- intLibber Brautigan (http://intlib.blogspot.com/), who "is really damn busy". He's staunchly Libertarian. He likes freedom and the web 2.0, except for when the crazy internet kids go have their e-rave parties on his e-lawn. He's also the #1 member of the Patriotic Nigras fan club. Word on the street says he's this guy http://mikelorrey.com/, and currently using his impressive SAT and IQ (160!) scores to make irony shit bricks. Oddly, however, he seems to be supporting griefers recently. Change of heart? Is also a sick fuck. Intlib is also a devaout protestfag which adds 20+ to his kool points.
Last Thursday intLibber accidentally his whole enterprise, making pretty much everyone who ever bought land or server space from him LOSE FUCKING EVERYTHING. He's a shell of a man now.
- Anshe Chung, a former cyberwhore who is now a land baron and very butthurt about an in-game incident where she was attacked by multiple flying penises. Amazing lulz ensued, as this was for a live taping for CNet Video below. Actually an IRL man acting through his wife as a conduit for his twisted fantasies.
- Prokofy Neva, the suspected reincarnation of Ayn Rand. Has a personal vendetta against Plastic Duck. Writes furiously about Nigra activities and has a hissyfit if anyone disagrees with her. Likes to compare everything and everyone to Lenin.
- Wolfstanus Blackmun is a secluded furry that has a fetish for Nazi Furs, and anything dealing with Rommel. Wolfstanus created an item known as the Choppa Box. When deployed in a sim, it was near impossible to catch, allowing many lulz. In an epic failure to retard faithful Patriotic Nigras from creating MOAR lulz, Second Life forced all it's Faggot Residents to recreate passwords and verify their existence in a fake world. During this time they took all Choppa Boxes from Wolfstanus. Anonymous got its hands on this object and created something known as Doomsday. This item allows the Choppa Box to create of itself, crashing sims easily. It is now a new arsenal for Patriotic Nigras, and Butthurt to any Furries that become targets of its awesome power. In response to the love the Nigras have for the object, Wolfstanus claims that he no longer cares. Known to some he reverts to being an emo Furfag and complains to everyone. Also claims to be a mythical being known as a Straight Furry.
- In the course of the same counter-intelligence operation, Shadowspawn Soothsayer was also discovered to be a furry infiltrator within many of the same freedom fighter organizations. His full name, address, business name, basic history, and interests were discovered by insurgent psy-ops agents within five minutes.
- The Justice League Unlimited, a bunch of fags that spend their time crying about being pwned by Nigras. They are all a bunch of fat old closet furfags that masturbate to comic books. They also like to Frame Nigras for their own grid-destroying attacks. Their notorious leader is known as Kalel Venkman or Gene Turnbow.
- Raxor Sands is a furry pony, and a huge betafag who dresses up his avatar as Grover from Sesame Street. He once tried to win a shirt design contest for some store and was disqualified for harassing the other contestants, saying stupid shit like "THIS IS SPARTA". When his arch rival got into the contest, he went batshit crazy and started harassing her too after she beat his Brony Shirt fair and square, and Photoshopped a picture of his face on some guy sucking 3 cocks. The reason he hates her so much is because she rejected than trolled his request to have her collar him and dominate him, he claimed she was "just the dominate type he needed" cuz shes so badass and doesnt afraid of anything. After a while, the store owner got sick of his shit and disqualified him, causing much butthurt from him and lulz from everyone else. He now spends his days trying to crash the store's sim but failing miserably. It's said that Raxor, real name John Moore, lives in New Jersey, stays at home all day eating twinkies and playing on his computer, and apparently has some kind of 'social phobia' because, according to him, his dad beat him as a child. Because of this, the government pays him our tax money to support him and all he does is stay in his house because he is "afraid people will think he smells bad". He also has an internet girlfriend that he paid to marry him on SL because he's too much of a pussy to go out into the real world and find someone. He could also possibly be a candidate for his own special article right on this site due to his massive amounts of faggotry. This is his cocksucking face.
White Nationalists on Second Life
Hal Turner's buddies at the Vanguard News Network have sought to establish a white nationalist presence on Second Life, as noted here. VNN members initially proposed "beating up" nigras, spreading propaganda, hosting a virtual holocaust conference, and "posing as non-whites and attacking whites in an effort to polarize the population along racial lines and incite a virtual race war." Before they could follow through with their plans, they went into typical skinhead infighting about the effectiveness of such a move and quickly forgot about the original topic. As usual.
Other Factions
- The Autistic Liberation Front - "The Autistic Liberation Front is a group of autistic activists. Discussion, workshops, conferences, a museum and library, as well as a place to hang out and fuck each other in Porcupine across from the mall Sponsored by the website autistics.org." In other words, a perfect collection of easy targets for the lazy troll. See Darviela Maravarona for more information.
- Sweden - Made an "embassy" in SL as a stupid publicity stunt.
- Poland - Followed Sweden's lead. Wow, your country is so high tech!
- The Second Life Liberation Army are a terrorist group who feels butthurt that Linden Labs doesn't pay attention to them anymore. They are waging a campaign of bombings against American Apparel and other obvious, boring targets.
- The Wrong Hands - Splinter group made up of former w-hat goons, woodbury university members, and various, assorted, self-proclaimed griefers/trolls. The group's original purpose was to troll the JLU. Due to the present lack of the JLU in Second Life, the group's members spend most of their time in their private sim giving each other handjobs and reminiscing about how they used to be relevent to everyone other than Prokofy Neva. Despite being a group of self-proclaimed troublemakers, TWH members are in fact some of the easiest Second Life denizens to troll in that something as minor as copybotting their snowflake griefer attire will send them into a whirlwind of anal leakage.
—Wrong Hands member, DON'T YOU DARE DO WHAT ME AND MY FRIENDS DO! | ||
- /slg/ - Group of /v/irgins from 4chan's /vg/ board who enjoy long walks on the digital beach, dressing in fursuits, and pretending to be griefers whilst flinging shit at each other in /vg/ Second Life threads.
Recent Changes
The fascist overlords of Second Life, known as Linden Labs, have required that all residents verify their age with a third party company. Most likely due to frequent loli that so often appears in Second Life's cock shops. Many residents are butthurt over the new decree, for it limits their ability to have buttsechs unless verified.
The blog states that any sim with a mature rating, and areas within it must flag their property as mature, meaning that all residents that have not given personal information to the Linden overlords, will not be allowed inside these areas. This fails miserably however, because of the simple fact that land owners must set the protection themselves, which they won't do because they don't want to limit the mature adults from accessing their sim and raising their traffic ranking. We have faith the PN will continue their trolling for the freedom of Second Life.
Trolls
A while back on 4chan, Anonymous wondered whether or not Second Life was raidable. Really, it never is that raidable because of the sheer size of the Main Grid, but it's always worth a shot. With that, the Patriotic Nigras were born, and Second Life was at the mercy of /b/. But what of the Teen Grid? Are there any trolls from 4chan fucking everything up for the kiddies? No. But there are some trolls that may actually be teenagers from other parts of the internet. These trolls (who aren't really that good at trolling) started a group of griefers which terrorized the Teen Grid for around a year. This group was known as DwiTek.
DwiTek was started by Exsilius Xue on a different account. Exsilius is the Teen Grid's redneck hick from the South, and likes to go on Second Life to pretend he's more important than he really is. In reality, he lives in a trailer park and fucks his mom every Thursday. After starting the group, he invited his friends, a couple earning enough prominence to be acknowledged.
Note: Most of the people in DwiTek aren't lulzy enough for a long profile.
- Wolfegar Niekerk, is a wanna-be troll and a srsly tough and badass German Superman who runs a Mercenary Group called Black Wulf Tactics Incorporated. Black Wulf Tactics is supposed to be a Private Army hired by the TSL armies to gather into the base of another TSL army, and cause lag that spreads to a large number of sims, and inevitably crashing a smaller number of sims. The thing is, Wolfegar never paid his members after the battles because he's either Jew or the rest of the Teen Grid is smart enough to not pay for three to five people who don't know which side they're fighting for, inevitably shooting at both armies while screaming "LOLOOKDATNOOBIZFLYFITING!!!!!!!!!!1111!!1AUTOVICTORY!!!!111!1ONE!"
Wolfegar himself could be likened to an angry Hitler with a gerbil stuck deep up his ass. Despite being an anti-furry, for the longest time, he was TSL's biggest fucking furfag, and would say with a straight face, "Take off that furfag avatar," while WEARING A FURFAG AVATAR. His Barney-Dragon furfag AV is clad with a Nazi uniform, proving that the furries caused the Holocaust. Quite recently, he was all butthurted because his group lost all their land because one troll member (Sever197 Kranfel, now Kohnnuz Vanistok) realized the Military shit was one big waste of time. Plus as a Jew, he was pissed off because he wasn't being paid.
- Kion Kuhn (Now Rapture Raleigh), perhaps the only real troll in DwiTek, he was a soulless jackass who could switch from being a nice guy to a Rage-whore experiencing PMS for the first time. While he was the closest thing to come to a real troll in Dwitek, this shitty pseudo trap did little more than being butthurt constantly. He was a long date furfag and had many relationships with other furries, namely Zombie Pye. This is what led to the DwiTek hacking of FurNation and all of Zombie Pye's furry shit.
Also likely the original author of this section of the article.ORLY?
When confronted with this information, he will likely say trolling everyone 4 lulz and leave to be butthurt and possibly more.
- Char Enfield DwiTek, like the Patriotic Nigras, is a Troll group designed to fuck over the Nazi Linden Labs and make everyone's life a living hell. However, unlike the Patriotic Nigras, DwiTek doesn't do a very good job of it. They don't have a zero-tolerance policy for furfags (around 30% of them are actually furfags), but their most lulzy act they made redeemed them for their tainted trolling; they destroyed the Teen Grid's FurNation by hacking into Zombie Pye's account, OSing his shit, taking thousands of dollars worth of Linden, and DELETING FUCKING EVERYTHING. Eventually, without a leaderfag, the FurNation eventually lost their land, their builders, and everything else. And nothing of value was lost.
That was the only trolling act worthy of praise. I sincerely apologize. This was just Kion raging his evidentally furry ass off over a break-up with Zombie Pye. DwiTek = Fail.
Apparently, Exsilius, whom we have mentioned earlier, decided to move DwiTek to the Main Grid, and is planning to work with the Patriotic Nigras, though he doesn't realize that a group that always seems to be flatlining when it comes to activity AND loses all of it's members during transfer from TG to MG wouldn't interest the Patriotic Nigras, no matter how much fried chicken you offer them.
Ways of trolling in SL
Raids
- 1.A raid! It's a hard job kids. To raid even smallest event you need /b/ros,organistation and good plan.
Else you'll get B& by sim admins fast.
- 2. Cybering and then sending other side miget gay porn pics claiming "It's me my sexyeh stud!". it's easy,lulzworthy but needs moneyh
- 3.Roleplay trolling.
Chat Spam
- 1. Make New hotmail or 10minutemail.
- 2. Make new SL account.
- 3. http://wiki.patrioticnigras.org/wiki/
BALEETED Website back uperror'd. - 4. Search for a "Roleplay Sim" ingame.
- 5. Make a box.
- 6. Make a script on the box with one of the spamming scripts from the below template.
- 7. Click on the box, hit "Take Copy".
- 8. Teleport to heavily populated Area.
- 9. Equip box on any body part.
- 10. ????
- 11. PROFIT!
- 12. .jpeg/.avi that shit for lulz.
USE RAW PASTE DATA AND PASTE INTO NEW SCRIPT
P.S Rez extra boxes for extra lulz
— A typical troll | ||
Military
As if being a hive for furfags isn't enough; Second Life has made it so that you can turn what once was an online community into an FPS game. This is how it works: 13 year old boys gather two hundred other 13 year old boys, and start an army group with a faggot name. This "army" teleports to a "base" with around 200 other 13 year old boys, and they shoot at each other, screaming their prepubescent voices into their shitty microphones while crashing the sim and lagging everyone within a nine sim radius. Examples of TSL Armies:
- ASR - Army of the Sith Republic. As you can guess, this group is a Star Wars-themed army. Most of them are furries, and it's run by an internet man-whore called Shawn Hutchinson. ASR is also the largest army on the Teen Grid, and owns around 93% of all the land that was ever put up for sale. ASR is hated by the noobs, and their only allies are New Rome and a piece of lint. They have killed militaries on TSL by making sure no one could make an army large enough to oppose them through their buying so much land, NO ONE HAS ENOUGH ROOM FOR ANOTHER LAGGY BASE. But it isn't all that bad, because ZOMGTHEYHAVEKEWLARMORANDSHIT.
- Maleficent Hands, or as Master Umaga would call it, "New Rome" - Maleficent Hands is a shitty army that, at first glance, looks like it has a sim base like MG armies, but at second glance you realize their sim, "Terra Prime" is pretty much a W40K version of Tierheim. Unlike ASR, they don't like Star Wars, but they like Warhammer 40K, making them automatically cooler than ASR. All of them have huge egos, and small penises. ESPECIALLY Master Umaga, who fancies himself the best fighter on the Teen Grid, which is like boasting that you were the best jailbait in Prison; it's nothing to be proud of, and stop talking about it to your mother, you faggot. Then they have Jeston, the wannabe Commissar of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, but has managed to become one of the most hated individuals on the Grid. One of the other prominent faggots is Helo Twine, a skinny, long-haired white kid that apparently has absolutely no life in any way whatsoever, thereby giving him unnecessary amounts of time to dedicate his life to sucking Master Umaga's fat throbbing chode and standing around Terra Prime for days before collapsing from pure exhaustion from around three weeks of nonstop Second Life. Seriously, there should be a fucking law: Before you can play Second Life, you have to have a first life, (yo helo twine up in hurr, i am skinny and i am white and i do have gorgeous locks so ladies watch out, yes i do not have a RL since i am hooked up to an incubator trying to gain super powers right now so i can pretty much sit around and play SL, i am utterly dedicated to masters weiner as u guessed, yes i have collapsed of exhaustion cause i was doing some SL finger crunches so i can play better! helo twine out! IN REAL LIFE.)
- Catalyst - The greatest army on the Teen Grid with the most powerful weapon ever created as it's primary weapon: The Banhammer, which they freely, liberally, and continuously smash upon entire hordes of other people for some infraction of the Rules of Engagement, which apparently forbids shooting and shouting in combat as means of communication. Varg Svenson wields the ban hammer like a black man wields a Glock, and therefore leads the group.
- Master Umaga -
Called an army by some, but more commonly titled "The Best Fighter on the Grid". It's a fact that when he was a week old noob, he was able to glass the entirety of New Rome's Skybase by himself. Today, many years later, he can be found single-handedly taking on entire Main Grid empires with incredible combat skill and tactical knowledge. Many say (though without rock-hard evidence) that the reason Master Umaga is so good, is because his account is wired to a mainframe of combat scripts and artificial intelligence; using a formula that automatically calculates 100% success rate combat moves. A former member of Tribe Seven, a hacker group, was said to have been onto this AI mainframe; but was later banned for unknown reasons. Even more strange, bullets and vehicles that seem to be about to kill Master Umaga instantly have script errors or freeze in mid-air before reaching him. Whatever the case might be, cheater or not, Master Umaga is not a force you want to be up against. Today, Master Umaga is a General of New Rome, having been it's Champion for 2 years and counting as well. Rumor has it that his new account is Gee Overland. Attempts at trolling this individual have resulted in replies such as coding errors, and incomprehensible techo-babble; leading more and more people to believe that he is a robot with each passing day.HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS.
Chickens is Serious Business!!1!
Okay, so there's this bullshit called Sion Eggs also see [1], which are basically the gay offspring of a Tamagotchi that raeped a chicken. You have to buy, raise, feed, breed, etc. these things so you can be a winrar and your life will finally have meaning. They are the bane of many sim owners and residents because they reportedly contain ovar 9000 sim-lagging scripts. They have been b& from at least 100 sims because of this.
Farming chickens is serious business. These eggs/chickens are valued by their generation and colors. There is a chance if you try to breed them they can produce eggs that are worth ovar 9000 Linden Bux. Rares can range from 2000-9000 Linden Bux and moar. The guy who made them, Sion Zaius makes lots of raep bux because he sells the only food and a myriad of other official products that you have to have to play/grow/trade these retarded things.
Good News. Not only can they die...they can be killed!
Here's the ways they can be killed:
- Returned to inventory (can only be stored/traded in official chicken boxes)
- Die of old age
- Killed by another chicken
- Killed by the chicken you're trying to breed the other one with
- Disease (you must buy moar pet medicines!!!!...from Sion Zaius of course)
- They Starve (you must buy moar food from...yeah that asshole ^^)
- They feel like it
- They an hero
- Pretty much anything (not kidding)
Okay, here's the best part, you can just fucking shoot these stupid fucking things and they'll die. The owner will get a message saying who killed them. It may be hard to kill them if they're on 'No Build' land. If that is the case, try getting into the land group the owner is in. Otherwise, all you have to do is shoot it with any gun, or in some way cause a high speed collision with another prim and they'll bawww to death.
Fact: If you can find and destroy an entire farm of these things you will win 10 internets.
Find them and destroy them! Wait until their owner gets online and finds out and comes bawwwing to you and tells all his friends to harass you. Copy the chat-logs and post for full-on lulz. Plus, technically this isn't even an Abuse Reportable offense. No doubt you will get reported but Linden Labs isn't going to give a fuck. In fact, Linden Labs has been returning entire chicken farms to lusers inventories (in effect, killing all dems chickens) because these chicken farms are in fact Abuse Reportable offenses themselves as they hog the fuck out of sim resources.
For great justice, search out and destroy these stupid things whenever/wherever you see them.
You almost have to hand it to the inventor of this crap for getting so many furries to part with their hard-earned raep bux and obsess over this shit. There are major lulz to be had by killing these wherever you find them. Honestly, what could be moar gratifying than shooting some chickens and hearing someone baw about how you destroyed 100,000 raep bux worth of chickens?
If for some reason you can't destroy them, just file an AR report, saying something to the effect of the entire sim is lagging and they're unfairly hogging sim resources and you can't even wear your blue hair and the Lindens will practically do the job for you. Bonus if a victim an heros over it. Also, you can message them personally and tell them you're reporting them for added chat-log generated lulz.
NoR city
NoR city, the most famous sim in SL for drama, is a 5(originaly) simulator wide role-play sim on Second Life. Midian is mostly infected with basement dwelling virginal closet geeks who live with their Mothers and like to fancy themselves Goths, child molesting Furries, she-male military trolls direct out of mangina boot camp, or 80 year old bisexual perverts with penis envy.
Founding
NOR was stolen(Well to be honest-made for free) from Suzanna Soyinka (Who's team made whole sim build and accepted them in CCS commmunity) in 2006 by Luxa Budhan who is one of the 80% of all SL users who are men(Or just girls that missing only a dick to be called dudes) pretending to be female. Suzanna being the astounding creator she is washed her hands of the place after being ousted and is now very ashamed to have her good name associated with Midian. Luxa can’t spend all of her time enjoying her mangina(Or e-peonor) on her massive role-play sim alone, so she sells administrator rights to the highest inept bidder letting them run the place.
Content
Nor is based around the premise that in the future, bad things will happen, and the land will become Lul-free. Fake IRL races of creatures like nekos, lycans, vampires, demons, angels, fairies, and elves, and rarely if ever humans, will emerge and battle for dominance either kung fu style or using weapons even larger than Jade's ego. Unlike many role-play sims very little emphasis is based on role-play, and more emphasis is placed on mindlessly killing other players. Making the cry of the former Nor city players “I at least wanted a little romance and lube, before you shoved it so hard up my ass Luxa(Correction-Sicarus now)!”
Nor City is run by incompetent child molesting furries, and is responsible for a SL disease known as Nor City Scabies. The administrators and GM’s are notorious nincompoops and their constant greifing,horrible drama(that destroyed quite good staff team that tryed their best to promote rp) harassing, and abuse of their player base has caused many of their lager factions to break off and start their own sims.
Fucking Over COLA
Perhaps what Nor is most famous for after drama, is fucking over Suzanna Soyinka (A horrible drama queen hearing things only in her own way but thats the other story), the owner of the role-play sim City of Lost Angels, or COLA. Luxa (A lot of people actually including Baron Nowhere) became angry (actually-Suzanna disliked the fact that nor started to give real proffits and said "Put exp flow on three else gtfo from CCS network!) when the actual role-play occurring on COLA interfered with his ability to get E-Penis in his mangina. Jade Steele responded by destroying his agreement with COLA to eventually unite into one massive Role-Play sim of doom, and ripped off the code for Suzanna Soyinka’s Combat system ((CCS or Community Combat System)) and replaced it with a new piece of shit (Not very true-after short time WARPS became much better, but then main coder and haxor allowed his gf to have fun with it).
One former GM (Suz's alt) had this to say: "he showed his true self by being a thieving bastard and a master manipulator. But we have seen the truth, you motherfucker, and yer going down along with your system and its politics." (And she sucked down for good. Suz is a poor and claims that few times she had to borrow money for groceries to pay for COLA, and luxa made acctual money to hire actual lawyers actually promising to leave Suz on the corner selling her ass in case she will keep this shit up).
Downfall
Luxa Budhan is directly responsible for the downfall of the NOR City due to her mismanagement(Puting a paranoid freak in charge was a bad idea) pitting roleplayers(Because a lot of stuff left and they were faction leaders) against each other also putting administrators(A lot of thouse were put in there for in charge who spend the bulk of their time creating more drama(In. When brought to Sicaru's attention she(Or he. Because he is either taking hormones and blow or it's a girl in perma pms) either ignores or punishes the mailman by making him fuck her mangina. She allows these chav administrators to stay because they are either the people paying her or some friend willing to feed her huge ego.
Another thing special to the sex-combat sim Nor City, is the owner and admin’s love of OOC drama. Breaking the sacred rule of roleplay, the people running the nor city constantly take personal slights made out of character, to godmod(anti sim agenda), and achieve true geek rage. Countless groups have been destroyed(By ingame RP tools by the way), alternative accounts outed(Hundreds of thouse ussaly used fro griefing on admins liked by crowd but disagrieing with Luxa's politics), lives destroyed(Only one-one copuple out there was thinking about marriage), and furries yiffed in the name of nerd rage on the NoR city. This is why counter-terrorist groups have begun to shower the Nor city with their own personal brand of old west justice.
Adminstrators
This title is often given to people who are generally Ass kissers,people that seem smart and wise(but appear 100% idiots and drama queens with no personal life), Lazy Slobs, and general all around pedophiles. Nor city is run by such of the above mentioned descriptors, which is why it will fall. The Admins are uselessand incompetent in dealing with real issues. They often spend their time sticking their e-penis where it doesnt belong.
Gallery
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I mudded for your kips. -
AIDS MEMORIAL'S CLOSED DUE TO AIDS -
Massive Damage -
WRYYYYYYYYYY
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Furries don't like it when I do this. -
Dressed to kill. Niggers, that is. -
Lock them in cages where they belong. -
Be sure to only do this in a PG welcome area, and remember to include sound effects for maximum effect. -
Average Second Life group gathering. -
Even in SL, you have no friends. -
SL caters to collectivist feline sex, among other perversions. -
Around cats, never relax. -
A mob of virtue-loving Second Lifers confront a disgusting furry... -
... and negotiations are quickly concluded. -
"Baby furs? On MY Second Life?" -
"I've been working vice for a long time, but some things never get any easier. Seeing an advertisement for a baby fur bondage harness is one of those things." -
"Don't worry, Mike. We'll get the bastards that did this." -
"Burn it...burn it all." -
"Where's your Fursiah now, baby fur?" -
Fascist landowners are often worse than furries, but still easily dispatched by way of skilled musket fire. -
"No combat zone, eh? How about we just put you in a cage and test toxic household cleaners on you?" -
"Gentlemen, it has come to my attention that you have a fondness for mudkips. Promotions for everyone." -
God dammit. -
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?! -
But you gotta admit this is fapparific. -
SL: Serious Business Chat (Pt. 1) -
SL: Serious Business Chat (Pt. 2) -
Build it and they willcomecum. -
People will love you after building one of these. -
An attack of cheezeburgerz and bacon at a furry mall. -
Notice how fast the less crazy role player ran away from that freak. -
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Videos
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Live Music
Some musicians are so untalented that they have to play in a virtual world just to get people to like them. Needless to say, hilarity always ensues when a griefer shows up and starts playing very loud screaming sounds. PROTIP: The following log is much more lulzy when you listen to the audio:
Gog Gremlin: Oww. Angelis Bisiani: /omg who is that? Renegade Stonewall: wtf is that? Cherry Conover: /dear lord P>Ease stop w the gestures stori Knopfli: omg my hearing is really gone now Multi Gadget v1.50.0 by Timeless Prototype Alexandra Daikon: / OMG WHAT IS THAT Haroldthe Burrel: / who's the fucking ignorant asshole Zermillion Paine: my ears is bleeding Gog Gremlin: It's NAMECENSOREDFORGREATJUSTICELOL EscoBAR Soderstrom: stuck in the middle whit u Cherry Conover: /interfeering with the music :( Tealkra Pankhurst: wtf You: it is NOT me Renegade Stonewall: stop that shit Chrysa Ferraris: That scared my cat Morse Dillon: muted. Lonnie Rockett: what a jerk Rosa Gardner: wb Merle You: and I find it racist that you just assume that it is me Salome Strangelove is glad she always has sounds turned off, apparently Merle Widget: Thanks Rosa, sounds like I missed the fun though. :( Wendy Curtiss: Hi Salome! Salome Strangelove: /hey Wendy Alexandra Daikon: / Salome i literally just jmped 10 feet in the air, and it scared the crap out of my roomie too Iliyana Carillon mmms and sighs EscoBAR Soderstrom: plz stop that Renegade Stonewall: bAN THAT GUY Elizabeth Antonelli: /*sigh Gail Glasgow: why is that bitch doing that Andrew86 Saenz: hey You: who the fuck is doing that shit stori Knopfli: my gosh Chrysa Ferraris: God cut that out!! Gail Glasgow: bitch or man witch Renegade Stonewall: kick that bastard out!!!!! Salome Strangelove: /folks, turn off your room sounds Alexandra Daikon: / SOUND EFFECTS TURNED OFF Lonnie Rockett: punk a-hole Alexandra Daikon: / jesus christ i just jumped again Andrew86 Saenz: wtf is going on lol Twome Rutledge: god!! Gail Glasgow: i can't even hear the music...what's up Chrissy Cordeaux ejected and banned you from this land.
Logs
Cuntwaffle walks into a random house and spies on some Gorean basement dwellers having fantasy secks.
(I enter the house to find a Gorean named Demonknight. Seconds later, Demonknight's slave enters.) Demonknight Apocalypse: ((would you mind getting you sir ?)) Demonknight Apocalypse: ((out)) You: sorry (I exit the house and go around back to listen.) Tears Fermi: .kneel
See also
- Online sex games
- Fort Longcat
- Urizenus Sklar
- Patriotic Nigras
- Mircea Kitsune
- Whirled
- Ralph
- Garry's Mod - Same shit
External Links
- Get A First Life
"I wonder how much a penis costs?" A view from Real Life.- 404."Please join our Group" Typical Advertising Bullshit- Deleted.- Flying wang survivor threatens DMCA action (seriously)
is part of a series on Second Life  |
Anshe Chung • Boyd Doghouse • BritbongReturns • Christoph Naumova • Felinoid • Hardstylenno • Harrison Digfoot • IntLib • JaSonic • Kalel Venkman • Kopyboat • Krispup • Lemonade Coyote • Mircea Kitsune • MrDisambiguation • Prokofy Neva • Ralph Pootawn • Skuee • Tamias the Chipmunk • Urizenus Sklar • Voland • Yiffy Yaffle • Yoko Beaumont •
Justice League Unlimited • Lost Furest • Patriotic Nigras • FurNation • W-Hat • The Wrong Hands |
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Second Life is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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Second Life is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
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Second Life is part of a series on MMORPGs. | [Ding!] |
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Vampires • Humanoids • Reptiles • The Rest • See Also Click topics to expand |
| Second Life is part of a series on Dying Alone
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| Featured article January 31, 2007 | ||
| Preceded by Greg Solomon |
Second Life | Succeeded by Knuffy |