- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Gursimran Kaur
Gursimran Kaur was a 19-year-old girl that was a less than minimum wage paid Indian, (Dot not Feather), immigrant employee at the Mumford Road Halifax Walmart in Canada that was so utterly Retarded and inept that she couldnt grasp the simplicity of opening up a door and on October 19, 2024, her crispy cooked ass was found in a Wal-Mart walk-in bakery oven.
Many Wal-Mart employees doubt her inteligence because - as Wal-Mart employees had shown, that the oven could be opened from the inside.
As with most dead imigrants, you can expect alot of tears, protests and threats of law suits, claiming that an Indian, wet-back's life, despite their Living lower than the country's Minimum poverty level's life will be somehow worth tens of millions of Dollars because she was going to DeVry, was majoring in Hotel Management and was going to make something big of herself once she graduated.
How It Happened
Seriosly? How does a Healthy, some what intelligent person find themselves trapped in an oven?
While Conspiracy theories abound at the Halifax Wal-Mart float about, (The White zMan did it) her mother says that Gursimran showed up for work but after an hour she noticed that Gursimran was missing. Her Mother tried to phone her, because like all girls, she was surgically attached to her phone. Unable to find her, and smeling something that she found delicious, because the cow worshper wont eat a Porter House but Human meat is always on the table.
Realizing that Gursimran was in the Bakery oven and the bakery staff performing what can only be described as a classic 3 Stooges act, the entire bakery department ran around with their heads up their Asses trying to figure out if the oven can be turned off.
With Gursimran trapped in the Bakery oven, the moronic Wal-Mart Bakery Department Further extended Gursimran's cooking time until they finally figured out how to shut off the oven in an emergency when they looked near the oven door and found that BIG RED EMEGENCY BUTTON beside the oven door that all modern machines and equipment are required to have.
Finally figuring out how to turn off the oven, by using the Big Red Button, the Indians in the bakery department laid her on the ground to let her meat rest before they'd dig in. But they wouldn't get to have their picnic because the EMTs showed up soon after Gursimran was taken from the oven.
Most Likely having to wait 3 or 4 hours for the coroner to show up, it was a Sunday, and officially state what the EMTs and everyone already knew, "This Burnt Bitch is dead"
Finale
A Halifax Wal-Mart manager has shown that if a person finds themselves in a walk in oven that they are capable of getting out after a manager, using the same oven, had the doors closed on him and was capable of an egress.
So far Gursimran's death has been good for her family because, after starting a Go Fund Me, a week after her death, the whining hippies that have credit cards and a dire need for an organization to give $50 dollars to, Gursimran's family has collected over $140,000 American dollars, in the first week after her death. They claim the funds will be used to bring their family to Canada 🇨🇦 for Gursimran's funeral and have no plans of buying a rebuilt 1971 Chevy Nova Super Sport like 99% of the world would do.
On the bright side, Gursimran has probably reincarnated as a bug or a cow. We're betting on a Shih Tzu.
See Also
- She Died Like A Witch
| Gursimran Kaur is part of a series on Dying Alone
[]
| |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
Gursimran Kaur is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article March 18 & 19, 2025 | ||
| Preceded by Catholic |
Gursimran Kaur | Succeeded by Jeff Weise |