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Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
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FACT ALERT: Bjork has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. |
The hilarious result of a filthy slut pwning her unborn baby by drinking alcohol during her pregnancy. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome results in a baby so IRL retarded that the sight of the loathsome creature turns most born-again evangelicals away from Jesus, and plunges them deep into a life of sin, drug abuse, and other soulless nihilist depravities. If such an abomination proceeds to enter your life, complain to the authorities who have let the thing into society, citing all those precious decent moments it has cost you. It's an utter shame to let such monsters tarnish your education by attending the same schools non-retards attend.
Brain Damage
The unborn child's brain can become fucked at any point during pregnancy, so unless one intends to brutally cut the horrid thing out of the womb prior to birth, it is advisable not to permit the female so much as one drop of alcohol during its pregnancy. Occasionally, a so-called "free" female may imbibe alcohol during pregnancy, and under the force of the modern state carry it to term so as to give us current, ongoing examples of why it is completely impermissible to allow one's stupid fuckwit bitch daughter out of the house, particularly on the oh-so-enticing weekends. Not only will the offspring be brain damaged, but it will also be exceedingly fugly. While walking down the street with your female on its leash, all shall know your numerous failures as a master, father, and owner.
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome makes the offspring visibly retarded, its head, body, nose, and upper lip will be cleft, deformed, and otherwise ghastly; and as the offspring ages it will exhibit increasingly uncontrollable behavior, necessitating constant supervision.
Other Effects
- Facial deformities
- Stunted growth
- Difficulty discerning fantasy from reality
- Inability to control sexual impulses
- Lack of remorse
- Azn
- RAEP
- ??????
- PROFIT
Preventing FAS
DO NOT PERMIT THE FEMALE TO DRINK ALCOHOL WHILE PREGNANT.
Additionally, should one witness a pregnant female drinking in public, one must take proper action, including but not limited to uterine cavity removal and reporting the female and its owner to the proper authorities.
This may be difficult, as the retardation begotten from FAS is the most common in the world. Additionally, the women that binge drink during pregnancy may themselves be the products of FAS, and their mothers before them, and their mothers' mothers, and their mothers' mother's mothers, etc. Simply put, in many cases, it's a vicious cycle where everybody gets harmed to one degree or another.
The never ending lineage of FAS babies is guaranteed due to the FASers inability to reject anything which attempts to part their meat curtains.
See Also
- Down Syndrome
- Autism
- Asperger's Syndrome
- Retard
- Because of my syndrome
- Pillow Angel
- RootBrian
- Drugs
- Redneck
- Cyndre
- Uncyclopedia
- Miscarriage
- Anabelle Lotus
- Kanadajin
- Kevin Havens
- Greta Thunberg
- ForeverKailyn
- You
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Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is part of a series on Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage. |
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AIDS • Cancer • Coronavirus • Diabeetus • Dwarfism • Monkeypox • Erectile dysfunction • Fetal Alcohol Syndrome • Fibromyalgia • Genital Herpes • GRIDS • Obesity • Parkinson's Disease • Sexually Transmitted Diseases • Swine Flu | |
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Agoraphobia • Anorexia • Antisocial personality disorder • Anthropophobia • Asperger's Syndrome • Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder • Bipolar disorder • Body dysmorphic disorder • Borderline personality disorder • Bug Chasers • Carmen Electra complex • Christianity • Chronic Troll Syndrome • Depression • Dyslexia • Eating disorders • Ebola virus • Epilepsy • Fauxlimia • Gender dysphoria • Histrionic personality disorder • Heterophilia • Homophilia • Inconsistent personality disorder • Insanity • Mental retardation • Multiple personality disorder • Narcissistic personality disorder • Obsessive-compulsive disorder • Paranoia • Paranoid personality disorder • Paraphilias • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder • Prader-Willi Syndrome • Psychopathy • Pyromania • Schizophrenia • Seasonal Affective Disorder • Special Snowflake Syndrome • Victim complex | |
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Internet disease (see also Internet Disease Chart) • Internet troll personality disorder • The Cancer That Is Killing /b/ • The GRIDS that is killing ED |
| Featured article November 22, 2006 | ||
| Preceded by Spambot |
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome | Succeeded by Buzzboard |