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Nietzsche

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Oh hai.

Friedrich Nietzsche was a poor, crippled, crazy bastard of a philosopher who spent his entire life trying to prove to the masses that God is dead, that we can all rise to the level of the Übermensch, that women are useless, and that the Christians were forcing us all to become pussies. He wrote countless undecipherable books and convinced most people he was insane before actually obliging them. He spent the last ten years of his life in bed shitting himself and rambling incoherently before God decided to send him down to hell. Apparently, a bunch of fucking retards think Nietzsche is the most important thinker of the 19th Century, and helped carve Western Philosophy. However true this is, Nietzsche was a fag who deserved death because he couldn't write or think. Some morons think the term "Ubermensch" was hijacked by Adolf Hitler, but this was for the lulz - Nietzsche hated Jews but didn't have the balls to admit it.

Mein Leben

Nietzsche doing some serious shit.

Nietzsche grew up in some desolate, nameless, shithole village in an even bigger shithole known as Germany. He was a big lover of the Jesus as a child, but gave up that half-twisted lifestyle after his dad croaked. He later went to school to study the Greeks, but found that doing philosophy was an even bigger waste of time (the first evidence of his amazing thinking powers). Nevertheless, being the anti-establishment angst riddled teen he was, decided to go for it. He spent the rest of his life being pissed, not getting laid (except for that hooker that gave him syphilis), writing books, being moar pissed, and spending his twilight years pissing himself uncontrollably. According to some, right before he collapsed and became an invalid, he was in a market square talking to a horse. The horse was being beaten and he tried to protect it, and started sobbing uncontrollably. Noone knows what was said between Fred and the horse, but knowing his heritage one can make an educated guess.

After Nietzsche's death, his sister stole his philosophy and rewrote it to fit in with der Führer's ideology. Of course she did it for the lulz (and Jew gold) !

Why So Sleepy


 
 
...
 

 

Philosophizing

This guy ruined everything.

Nietzsche spent his entire life writing many tl;dr books in which he rants/complains/bitches/moans about how everybody else has it all wrong. This is obviously not the proper place to try to give a thorough analysis of his writings, but we can go over some of the more lulzy parts.

False Idols

Nietzsche was not a big fan of God. Particularly, the God of the Christian variety (no word on what his take was on Raptor Jesus). He felt that belief in God would allow all the weak scum in the world to usurp power from those that have rightfully claimed it. He described two types of morality: master and slave. The master morality consists of all those who possess the muscle to raep, pillage, and otherwise pwn the weak. By contrast, the slave morality are those receiving said rape. According to Nietzsche, this is human nature and therefore all good. What fucks everything up is Jesus coming along and saying things like "the meek shall inherit the Earth." This is nothing more than BAWWW designed by pussies who are butthurt over getting pwned and raped for all their worth. Later on, this ideal is adapted by the Church to trick the strong into acting weak and therefore becoming pussies themselves.

Superman

Up in the sky...

The Übermensch/superman/overman is Nietzsche's term for what we as humans should strive to become. This is a metaphysical concept that basically goes like this: Since we crawled out of the sludge, man has made strives forward. We went from being unthinking beasts consumed with cravings of rape and murder, to thinking men consumed with...rape and murder. It's this progression which Nietzsche is getting at. So where we are right now as humans is not an end result of where we came from, but rather a middle point on the way to something better. And what is that something better? Well it's having an acute awareness of this process, and embracing it whole-heartily as we go about our raping and murdering. It's not holding ourselves back by being moralfags or helping anyone else out. It's basically all the things which the oldfags of b encompass. So for example, everyone who tried to protect boxxy, or felt some deep sort of moral righteousness by protesting Scientology, were doing it wrong.

The Übermensch/superman/overman is, in fact, among the less developed of Nietzsche's concepts, and is bound to be misrepresented by anyone other than the editors of the omniscient Wikipedia.

Wiminz

Doing it right
   
 
Everything about woman has one solution: pregnancy... Man should be educated for war, and woman for the recreation of the warrior; all else is folly... Let woman be a plaything... You are going to woman? Do not forget the whip!
 

 
 

Truth

tl;dr Version

Stop being such a god fearing pussy, kick everyone's ass and steal their stuff, then go home and rape your baby factory whore of a wife who you keep tied up in the kitchen.

Nietzche considered Bill O'Reilly to be the Übermensch.

On The Internets

Facebook quote machine.

Nietzsche is very big with the goths, emos, and basement dwellers the world over. Regardless which one of the social networks you pick, there's bound to be some acne covered virgin with "When you look into the abyss, the abyss looks back unto you" as their favorite quote. Somehow it seems to always be easier to just steal other people's thoughts rather than having an original idea of your own. Unfortunately, it seems that none of these thieving little fucks have ever bothered to actually pick of one of Nietzsche's books since that would require diverting their attention away from their Twitter. This becomes apparent when said goth, emo ,etc. can't even begin to explain what they are actually quoting or how they're doing it wrong. But let's be absolutely honest with ourselves here; who has time to read old media when you have to post about how your boyfriend totally doesn't understand you and why it is important that he fork over the money for your botox procedure. "But like OMG this Nietzsche guy totally knows where I'm coming from. It's like we're totally kindred spirits."

The Beauty Of Art

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Jewtubes

Here are some of the more fucktarded videos on Nietzsche hiding out in the tubes:


A Final Word

Some think that if Nietzsche were alive today he'd actually be the gothest, most emo-est motherfucker on the e-block. But Fred would disagree. To Quote from Thus Spoke Zarathustra - The Preachers of death:

   
 
They have not yet become men, those terrible ones: may they preach renunciation of life, and pass away themselves! There are the spiritually consumptive ones: hardly are they born when they begin to die, and long for doctrines of weariness and renunciation. They would rather be dead, and we should welcome their wish! Let us beware of awakening those dead ones, and of damaging those living coffins! They meet an invalid, or an old man, or a corpse- and immediately they say: "Life is refuted!" But only they are refuted, and their eye, which sees only one facet of existence.
 

 
 

—pwning Gothfags and Emo fucktards

See also

Links

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Featured article October 6, 2005
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I did it for the lulz
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