Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

David Hockey: Difference between revisions

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
imported>Unknown
No edit summary
imported>Unknown
No edit summary
Line 33: Line 33:


* [http://defensivespeeding.com/ He is currently selling his cars]. Any guesses as to why?
* [http://defensivespeeding.com/ He is currently selling his cars]. Any guesses as to why?
== Skydiving Sexdolls ==
[[Image:Goons_with_Bianca.JPG|left|thumbnail|We are everywhere, Dave]]
[[Image:Check_out_the_star.JPG|left|thumbnail|She's gone downhill since ''Lars and the Real Girl''...]]
Dave settled down for awhile after he and [[Pit_Viper|Shit_Viper]] were exiled from SA. Eventually he got back to working on his documentary. The big scene is supposed to be where Dave pays a shit-ton of money to some skydivers to take his fuckdoll Bianca for a skydive. Dave filmed such a scene not once but ''twice'', once stateside [http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2869279&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=57#post351533442 and another time in Nova Scotia]. Little did Dave realize the [[Canadian]] skydivers were [[Goons]] who made note of Dave's rants [[Batshit_insane|to nobody in particular]] about "that [[H8|hate]] group [[Something Awful]]". They managed to get pictures taken with Davey's famous moviestar girlfriend and Dave eventually turned the footage from the skydives into the trailer for his film ''All Dolled Up''...
<youtube>48FfwlAGPsk</youtube>


== Is he [[famous]] nao? ==
== Is he [[famous]] nao? ==

Revision as of 09:12, 17 April 2011

The look of silicone seduction.
He just kisses them, guize!
Dave stalking Lowtax.
Dave's buddy Doodman should double-date with Ray Jones.

Update: You can own something this man did things to. Click here for details!Got sold

David Hockey (alias knightshot, midiman, Dave Crandall, Mr. Football-with-shinty-sticks) is a batshit insane sick fuck attention whore neckbeard from Canadia who, like his virtual ward Kevin Havens, likes to fuck dolls. Not just any dolls, either. He likes them made of plush and furry. Along with his buddy Doodman, he's a mousefucker much like Ray Jones. He'll settle for the silicone variety as well. He gained minor e-fame by White Knighting casperghostboy as the Something Awful Goons tore into that particular Aspie fucktard. Click here for that very thread. More recently, he's even earned a second SA thread. Click here for Round 2!. And even moar recently he's become a bit of a fixuture in the third dollfucker thread. Click here for Round 3!

Hockey claims he was researching fellow dollfuckers for a documentary he's making. He came across a SA thread about Kevin and immediately got butthurt and retaliated with an angry letter. He raged at Lowtax, which only encouraged the 'Tax to post the e-mails on the thread and make Hockey fair game. Hockey even offered himself up as a scapegoat to take some of the fire off Kevin. He ended up being a lolcow instead. Hockey couldn't handle it very well either. The internet detectives proceeded with dissecting his pathetic life simultaneously with Kevin's.

Lowtax has contempt for Dave and his toys.

Miscellaneous Crap

Hockey believes, as most dollfuckers do, that all dolls should be "anatomically correct". He would be thrilled if your children could play with He-Man's cock and give Barbie a good fingering. On the other hand, he believes that people should NOT be allowed to make fun of people who think molesting dolls is a good thing. Click here for moar details.

Kevin agrees with him...

   
 
I also think that dolls should be anatomically correct myself. It is also because I own a mannequin and sometimes I feel like I need to have some "activity" with it myself.

Of course, I do also think that many kids look up mannequins' dresses while in the store, and most of these mannequins do not have any underwear on, I feel that if kids are going to learn about the human body, I guess that they need to learn what it is.

I am getting tired of what some people are hiding from our own kids...

Peace out,

CasperGhostboy, Kathryn, Daphne and Andrea
 


 
 

Kevin Havens. Fucking retard.

  • Dave also bitches about people maligning his copyright. Meanwhile, he's ripping off TIME magazine and Sony among others.
Canada's edition of TIME is pretty fucked-up.
Canada's edition of TIME is pretty fucked-up.

Is he famous nao?

We know what you were doing, Dave.

Dave has gone on to be profiled on TV in this interview. In it you can see where he gets caught with his fapping material on-screen.

He was also interviewed at the Adult Entertainment Expo, and topped things off by fucking one of his TeddyBabes in front of a captive audience.

Dave is also likely to appear on the Maury show, but not to be told he's not the father. One of his dollfucking friends, keithallen, is going to appear on it and Dave wants to film the aftermath. It started with this thread in TDF, NBC-TV IS LOOKING TO INTERVIEW A REAL DOLL OWNER!, and continues in I'm doing it and Input needed. Pit Viper almost went on, but his Marylin doll blew up.

Most recently, Hockey blew a big fat wad of his IRL wife's cash to purchase both the CoverDoll Magazine website and The Doll Forum. In response to his actions, a great many dollfuckers have defected and started their own forums so they don't have to tolerate his megalomaniacal tyranny.

Links

See Also


David Hockey is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron AlexisAaron BushnellAaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAngry GrandpaAnna Nicole SmithAnthony WarnerAsa CoonBrian AdamsBrandon CrispByuuCharmaine DragunCho Seung-HuiChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineDragoneerEazy-EEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyGeorge SodiniGizgizGleb KorablevHappyCabbieHarambeH.P. LovecraftHeath LedgerJake DavisonJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonKate SpadeKitty0706Kurt CobainLemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLil PeepLiloLoki BlackfangLowtaxMia JaninMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceNathan GaleNikita LytkinOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRina PalenkovaRipperRobin WilliamsRonnie McNuttRudolph ZurickRyan PalmeterShawn WoolleyShayShuaibySol PaisStephen PaddockSteve StephensThomas Matthew CrooksTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler DumstorfVester FlanaganWilliam AtchisonXXXTentacionZhao Zewei

Those Dying Alone

03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77Adam SandlerAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmy SchumerAndrew AllansonAngry JoeAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAntony AguilarApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxArgent009Arguecat3Arin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrian Richard ZaigerBrianna WuBroniesButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCatboyKamiCheeyevChloe SagalChris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonCyraxxDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDarksydePhilDave ChapelleDave MustaineDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDillon CosseyDiogo MendesDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDnepropetrovsk maniacsDodgerofZionDogpatch PressDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868Dorian_GayDoug WalkerDrakonDrossRotzankDoomentioDustinEDP445Emer PrevostEmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogErtasVideosFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGather Against FateGeorge LopezGeosheaGhostGirlvinylGlobelampGoddessMilleniaGraykatGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777I Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles CheongIchverboticze⁴rImma-The-DeerInkBunnyIsabella Loretta JankeJamil The KingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJINXDROWNEDJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonmonJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276Joshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinRPGKat DenningsKendall JennerKeegan SalisburyKathleen ToddKenny GlennKevin HavensKeffalsKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKrashedLaci GreenLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Leslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLogo KidsLordelthibarLow Tier GodLucian HodobocM. ChaosA Man in BlackManchildrenMar9122MarblesMarioMario456MariotehplumberMarjan SiklicmasteroogwgayMatthew DavisMatthew NicholsonMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeowbarkMeganSpeaksMichael BattonMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMike SandyMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMumkey JonesMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250NawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNick BateNick BravoNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriObjectfagsOFWGKTAOnideus Mad HatterOnyx ForepawPacificoceanasiaPaigeGirlPaul FeigPaulie CalafioreParkourdude91Peter BrightPeter CoffinPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPeluchin EntertainmentPMRantsPreachingthegospelQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRichard ReidRicki RavenRMG ProductionsRobert StaintonRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Ryan RouthSad FrogSammyClassicSonicFanSam PepperSarah ButtsSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSegacampSega KidSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSonic SaviorSonmanicSony-MaeSophie LabelleSpax3StormySuperlisamcbSusan BoyleTara StrongTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagTheSockDetectiveTim BuckleyTJ LaneTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotVadeVinceintheBayWade FulpWeatherManKevinWesley!!!WoWfan4lifeWwwareaWeegeeisgoingtokillmXenuriaYandereDevYoshiwii1Youyoungbloodfantasy91Zoe QuinnZone

Their Methods

9gagAdventure TimeAn HeroAIDSAnimuAlt-rightArt SchoolA-Log's Fanfictionask.fmAsperger's SyndromeAssigned MaleBath SaltsThe Big Bang TheoryBattle For Dream IslandBlackLivesMatterBlack metalBody PillowsBonziWORLDBitViewBoozeBullyingBuzzFeedChildren's CartoonsClown WorldComputer Science IIICosplayCumOnPrintedPics.ComCupheadDead FriendDeath metalDeath penaltyDating SimsDeviantARTDiscordDrugsEdginessFamily GuyFanFictionFeminismFedoraFidget spinnerThe Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurAffinityFurry ArtFun Shitposting WikiGarry's ModGenshin ImpactGoAnimate!GooglewhackingGorillazGothsGravity FallsGreen DayGreeny PhatomGrindcoreHackingHappy Madison ProductionsHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffHigh ScoreIncelcoreIndie musicInfantilismInsane Clown PosseIntrovertInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLeague of LegendsLegoLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMass ShootingsMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMGTOWMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNice GuyismNu metalOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesOverwatchPlastic CrapPlenty of Fish/r9k/Rick and MortyRobloxRule 34RuneScapeSchool ShootingsSecond LifeSelf-VictimizationShy Boys IRLSilk Screen Goku ShirtSlayerSlipknotSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeSource FilmmakerSouth ParkSparkalloonSpeakoniaStar vs. the Forces of EvilSteven UniverseTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe Anytown ShowThe EntersphereThe SimsThey Might Be GiantsTomb RaiderToolTransformersTulpasTumblrTV Tropestwenty one pilotsUnchartedUncle GrandpaUncyclopediaUndertaleUnikittyUTTPVidLiiVirginityVirtual YoutubersVloggerheadsWatchMojo.comWeezerWikimaniaWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYIIK: A Post-Modern RPGYouTube

David Hockey is part of a series on

Trolls

Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.

David Hockey
is part of a series on serious business
Serious Concepts

Free SpeechIdentity theftIronyInternet assholeInternet CelebritiesInternet diseaseInternet dramaInternet humanitariansInternet LawInternet lawsuitInternet lawyerInternet stalkingInternet tough guyInternet Vigilante GroupOperation Falcon PunchSwattingVandalismWorld Wide Web Consortium

People & Organizations

2cashAlan TuringCasey SerinDavid HockeyDear Cis PeopleDoxbinFast EddieGrace SaundersHallcats SquadronJessi SlaughterMary BellMeek MillKittensMaja SchmidtMissyNiggest Crook ForcePsychopathVloggerheadsWEB SHERIFF

David Hockey is part of a series on

Sex

Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.