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imported>ElizabethLiczbinski
Donny Long is one of the only last straight male porn gods standing PROOF HERE http://www.pornwikileaks.com/wiki/Donny_Long and not only is he straight but he kicks fags and stands up to the gay mafia outing there real names and doxing them and there fami
imported>CrackRabbit
 
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Donny Long is one of the only last straight male porn gods standing PROOF HERE http://www.pornwikileaks.com/wiki/Donny_Long and not only is he straight but he kicks fags and stands up to the gay mafia outing there real names and doxing them and there families and you fags dox him with total lies posted by faggot homosexual with AIDS Eddie Dzial? Seriously? You fags need your heads checked homos. This is who made this wiki you idiots http://www.pornwikileaks.com/edward-bernard-przydzial-aka-eddie-dzial-favorite-porn-not-bullshit-he-watches-gay-porn-on-pornhub-proof-inside/
[[Image:1314525388262.jpg|thumb|"[[Copypasta/Archive_11#Do_You_Catan?|Do you Catan?]]"]]
[[Image:GothOverboard.jpg|250px|thumb|right|Gothtard musicians.]]
'''Goths (Gawths, Goffs, Gawff)''' are a [[College|self-aggrandizing]] bunch of attention whores, whose special talent is enjoying attention while pretending to disdain it. They especially revel in posturing to incite insult, so that they can say something deep and angsty. [[Oak And Cauldron|The elitist kick they get from this is visible under their pasty pale skin.]] If under some circumstance the color of something other than skin is in question, assume it's black.


I HAVE ALSO ATTACKED THE FBI AND PRESIDENT FROM ED AND PLACED MALWARE LINKS ALL OVER ED AND REPORTED EVERYTHING TO GOOGLE, THE SECRET SERVICE AND THE FEDS AND TOLD THEM THEY HAVE NO BALLS TO COME AFTER YOU FOR DOING THIS AND THIS WILL NOT STOP TILL DONNY LONG IS TAKEN DOWN YOU STUPID CLOSET FAGGOT COWARD KEYBOARD WORRIER HOMO WITH AIDS. ENJOY BEING BANNED FROM GOOGLE!
[[Some argue|Evolutionary social scientists postulate]] that the Goth represents an early nocturnal bifurcation from the [[Heavy Metal|Greb or Greebo]] lineage, due to its similar preponderance of [[BDSM|black clothing, leather, and spikes.]] However, this pussying-out from the well-established and resilient parent lifeform left Goths unfitted to the niche of moping around miserably in black, which has now been filled by the [[Emo]] subspecies. [[Some argue|It seems inevitable, therefore,]] that Goths will become extinct within decades unless new breeding colonies are established.


==A Brief History of Goth==
[[File:I-prefer-the-pelt-and-armor-side-of-goth-fashion o 6470841.jpg|thumb|right|Keep it oldschool.]]
The Goths were [[Germany|Germanic]] tribes who harried the [[Guido|Romans]] in the 3rd and 4th centuries but later [[Jesus|Christianity]] kicked in and they wussed out. In the 5th and 6th centuries, they split up into the Visigoths and the Ostrogoths, then [[pwnt]] [[Mexico|Iberia]] and [[Africa|Italy]], because they wanted to try a little dark meat. That's how "Goth" became a term to describe something that was gaudy and barbaric. During the Middle Ages, gaudy barbaric cathedrals built by the [[French]] were called "Gothic" and by proxy, [[fag|"GAY"]] was added to the meaning of "Goth". The Gothic style emphasized high, open ceilings with large windows set between pillars, creating a bright atmosphere of optimism and reverence during masses, even when the plague was running amok. Compare this with what you have observed of Gothtards in your community.


000owamail0.000webhostapp.com
The first recorded new use of "goths" was from a 1978 magazine article, in which Joy Division's producer commented on the gaudy and barbaric nature of fans, calling them a "horde of goths". Like "Nigger" to blacks and "Master" to whites, some fringe punks shed the embraced their new identity by painting over and redecorating "Gothic" into something that doesn't involve work: reading Romantic and Colonial-era literature, Victorian era clothing, Hair Metal era.. hair, later, sheltering a mindfuck of wildly different music genres that clash with each other as badly as pickles and milk on an empty stomach.
0q2.sitey.me
 
1000lashes.com
The current batch of "babybats" are a diverse and interesting group, taken as a whole; but taken in small groups they are a clique of narcissistic [[fag|cock humpers]], much like their 1970s fore-bearers.
101satcom.com
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==Types==
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[[Image:Betty Page.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Betty Page was attractive, healthy, sane and a little kinky, but just for the fun and money. She smiled a lot and tanned well. How she became a gothic role model is not clear.]]
189-211-177-171.static.axtel.net
[[File:A Gothapotamus.jpg|thumb|200px|right|An artist's impression of a gothapotamus.]]
189zx.com
Sane individuals regard goths as being a homogeneous group. This is an entirely accurate appraisal, but in the interests of [[Unwarranted Self Importance]] most goths try to makes themselves unique by joining a smaller, more stringent section of the already hyper-conformist non-conformists. Remember, there are no differences beyond the superficial.
1drv.ms
 
1.jacago.com
*'''The Alpha Goth''': Within each [[suburbs|town]] or [[ghetto|city]] there is one of these for each prevalent genre. They are [[attention whores]] and rule the others with their relative desirability.
1worlditsolutions.com
*'''Babybat/Kindergoth''': A very young goth, or an initiate. They are not yet permitted to speak in group settings with older goths, and could get banned from the clique for a week if they so much as go to the bathroom without checking in first. Often confused with mallgoths.
2barazi.com
*'''Betty Page Goths''': They love 1940s pin-up girls. Don't get your hopes up; unlike like Rosie the Riveter, they are not strong, red-blooded American Amazons that make sandwiches and assemble Sherman tanks. Some of the stick-thin to pleasantly-plump ones are pretty fap-worthy, but fail at stimulating retro-porn fetishists.
2mouses.com
*'''[[Black Metal]] Goth''': Takes mediocre bands way too seriously. Looks like a regular metalhead with black-light highlights. See '''Deathrocker'''.
2y-americanas.com
*'''Club Goth''': Goths that twingle at dark industrial/electronic style music festivals/concerts. Many wear white or pastel loli outfits -not ironically- a pair of fuzzy balls on springs on top of their heads and suck pacifiers. When pacifiers are in quantity, the possibility of a furry appearance increases dramatically, leading some to suspect that there is non-cartoon gothic babyfur porn in existence even as this article is posted.(RULE 34 *[http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3719834/])
365shopdirect.com
*'''Criminal Goth''': Most of these Goth are from Inner-Cities and fight (or at rare occasions work alongside) the Wiggers, Skaters and Chavs wreak havoc and attack innocent civilians in the streets, most Criminal Goth hate anything and everything and are a close relative of a "Punk".
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*'''Cyber Goth''': Otaku goth with glow in the dark hair and a Gothic.Net user account.
3d-skeneri.com
*'''Gothapotamus''': The gothapotamus is a [[fat|large, bloated]] land mammal that causes secondhand embarrassment wherever it goes. At least one can normally be sighted anywhere goths congregate, though they may also be sighted in fast food restaurants. Distinguishing features include [[BBW|rolls of pasty-white flesh fighting against the confines of woefully inadequate corsets]], fishnet shirts under which flabby, hairy [[manboobs]] are horribly apparent and white makeup that looks deeply unflattering on them and only serves to highlight their massive, round moon faces and double chins. Female gothapotami are the most commonly sighted, although males also exist as the goth scene is a haven for fat people trying to make themselves look interesting and failing. Male gothapotami are much more common in the [[steampunk]] scene, however, where they are easily spotted by their disgusting, unkempt facial hair.
54699.com
*'''Hot Goth''': Is sexually mature and will not fuck you, unless you surprise her. They're much easier to surprise when they're whacked out on E, and with all that jailbait running around who'd miss a couple twenty-somethings? [[PROTIP]]: Goths are immune to [[missing white woman syndrome]], because white people are collectively embarrassed by them. The media has caught on and the Jew community has shown rare pity by not holding them up to ridicule on the nightly news.
553496.top
*'''Hot Topic Goth''': Has enough money to shop at the mall, despite the fact that [[Hot Topic]] and other mall stores are about as mainstream as one can get. - See Mallgoths.
5wh.co.zw
*'''Mallgoth''': These are the ones that don't know a damn thing about goth culture, but tend to go for shock value/look retarded. They are recognized for wearing black eyeshadow to their eyebrows, and black lipstick with little lines at the end. They listen to the [[shit]] music, Marilyn Manson and [[slipknot|slipcock]]. To pwn one of them, tell them they're a poser. They will most likely say, "You don't know me in real life im not a poser," or "At least im not a [[My Immortal|prep]] like you!" - See Wannabe Goth.
7aero.fr
*'''Metal Goth''': [[NORP|Normal people]] cannot distinguish these from Metalheads and so they are rumored to be extinct.
7wind.ru
*'''Nu-Goth''': A mixture of gothic and [[hipster]] fashion aesthetics. Most nu-goths haven't even heard of any gothic music acts, meaning they're [[poser|not really goths]] - as goth is a music based subculture.
89186304545.ru
*'''Otaku Goth''': An unholy combination that the Goth Illuminati invented to give young recruits an isolationist mentality. Prevents them from wanting to expand their circle of friends, so they can't be converted to babyfur when they turn 20.
8fvchzuz.myutilitydomain.com
*'''Pastel Goth''': An excuse for teens to wear "edgy" clothing, and super-bright colors while latching onto more established subcultures. Probably comes from  [[tumblr]].  
925.lt
*'''[[Raver]] Goth''': A club goth with large, baggy pants and sometimes suspenders. Some of these wear Cat in the Hat-style hats, to honor their funny hat-wearing French heritage. - See Cybergoth.
97fn1ej0.myutilitydomain.com
*'''[[Bondage|S&M]] Goth''': Attempts to fit into another subculture that is more acceptable to mainstream society. The only visual difference is their pallor.
991mostfm.co.id
*'''Trad Goth''': They read Voltaire and Poe, and listen to Siouxsie and the Banshees. They (and your mom) are the only known users of Aqua Net, worshiping [[Nick Cave]] as a god, and quoting Alistair Crowley make these guys the [[fags|coolest goths]].
9stoneinvestments.com
*'''Trench Coat Goths''': They wear trench coats and listen to metal. Fingerless gloves optional. Due to a certain high-tempered episode of free mass organ ventilation, goths try to distance themselves from them.
a0152829.xsph.ru
*'''Wannabe Goth''': Basically just faggots who act all depressed and cover one side of their face with their long hair, probably not even Goth... just some type of Emo, whom Goth hate passionately. Kurt Cobain wannabes. See Mallgoth.
a2btrans.pl
<br>
a2plvcpnl14118.atendclients.com
{{center|<gallery>
a2zgroup.in
File:The goth stereo types family tree by trellia-d6s5ncf.jpg
aaaurgentcare.net
Trad-Goth_stereotype goth types.jpg
aalures.com
File:Cybergoths-gothtypes.jpg
aas-bd.org
File:Mopeygothgothstereotypes.jpg
aashima.goyal.com.au
File:Babybats-Gothtypes.jpg
aashyamayro.com
File:Goth type 12 the corp goth by trellia.jpg
abacusnet.info
File:Gothstypes-Medievalgoths.jpg
abccomputer.co.tz
File:Goth type 15 the metalhead by trellia dub2y9-fullview.jpg
abdolbaghi.com
File:Goth type 26 the carnival goth by trellia-d6wq10a.jpg
ab-sneg.ru
File:Goth type 31 the military goth by trellia-d76ojj6.jpg
academiademasaj.ro
File:Goth type 33 the casual goth by trellia-d7alqd6.jpg
accentstudio.co.uk
File:PastelGothAnatomyof.png|>pastel "goth"
accessoriesformri.com
</gallery>}}
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acenar.com
==The Music==
acerwerwe.000webhostapp.com
[[File:Gothmusicvariety.jpg|300px|right]]
aciklise.web.tr
One of the main focuses of goth "culture" is on the shitty music that inspired this "alternative lifestyle".
acmlp.pt
Traditional/"trad-goth" gothic rock and gothic-post-punk bands include:
acmsa.com.ar
*Bauhaus - started the post-punk trend towards "goth" with their "spooky" and experimental music. If you're goth you've heard their song "Bela Lugosi's Dead" [[at least 100]] times.
acount-cheks0912.suport-acount-confrim12.gq
*[[holocaust|Bone Orchard]] - gothic-post-punk/deathrock/
acousticsoul.jp
*The Bolshoi - not the faggy dance ballet stuff, but the post-punk-pop band. You've probably heard "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FzFu-ze8pA Away]" or "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pob1sW4AjY Sunday Morning]" on 1980s Alternative/New Wave YouTube Music playlists.
acproyectos.com
*<strike>[[Chemo|The Cure]]</strike> '''''"TECHNICALLY ALTERNATIVE ROCK, GUIS"'''''
acthosting.net
*Fields of The Nephilim - "yee-haw, im a cowboy" - Carl McCoy (FoTN frontman), ''probably''
actiglob.net
*The Mission/The Mission UK - (the band Wayne Hussey started after leaving Sisters of Mercy)
actionmobilemarine.net
*[[slut|Siouxsie]] and the [[faggots|Banshees]] - ''''"TECHNICALLY POST-PUNK, NERD"'''''
activeideas.net
*[[The Sisters of Mercy]] (their leader Andrew Eldritch will cry 'till the sun comes up that he's "not a goth," though)
activewatch.ro
*[[Anorexic|Skeletal]] Family
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actumedecine.com
Newer (post-80s) general "gothic bands" include:
acunt-fanpage00.plis-suport2-center.ga
[[File:Neil gaiman death girl goth.jpg|thumb|right|250px|Thanks to Neil Gaiman Death gave up the robes and the sickle to become a cute little goth girls]]
ad1.tinong.net
*The [[69]] Eyes
adagioduo.net
*The Bellwether Syndicate
ad.ch5.tv
*Black Angel
addiafortcnewtionhcmai.com
*Brotherhood
addictivetechnologies.net
*Catherines Cathedral
adenbay.com
*[[mu/|Chelsea Wolfe]]
adhdtraveler.com
*Dead Souls Rising
adlisa.com
*Merciful Nuns
admin.americasolidaria.org
*The Merry Thoughts
adminbola.com
*Rosetta Stone (UK)
admiralcompressor.ru
*She Past Away
admwarszawa.pl
*Star Industry
adondeck.com
*Sonsombre
adteknology.com
 
advicelocal.mobi
 
aedme.org.mx
 
aeolustyreindia.com
Not necessarily gothic rock, but often mixed with gothrock music:
aerofilter.eu
*Darkwave music (examples: Clan of Xymox, Dead Can Dance, The Crüxshadows)
aerokits.net
*Deathrock music (examples: Alien Sex Fiend, 45 Grave)
affitticesenatico.it
*Horror Punk music (examples: Misfits, Blitzkid, The Jasons, Wednesday 13)
affordablebatonrougebraces.site
{{center|<youtube>tKDo_j0O-hA</youtube>}}
afoakomfilmproject.com
 
agape-nireekshe.com
==Canon==
agatakristi2015.ru
 
agentaipan.com
Since goths are both seclusive, anti-social, and sectarian, there's really no pinning this down. They can't even get along with normal people well enough to avoid cutting, poetry or drugs. Getting them together long enough to agree on anything is like trying to resolve the [[CoS]] with common sense. Gothic fashion will tend towards a combination of two principles over time:
agiextrade.com
 
agility4life.com
#Colors that no one else wears exclusively, so that they can have an identity
agneskazmierczak.com
#Impractical designs
agoc.biz
 
agraphics.gr
While they don't agree, they'll follow those principles. Fair skin is manpoints to goths, irrespective of genre or gender. In order to mitigate the potential social rejection they so long for, goths create uppity stock phrases to explain their aversion of sunlight. Goths like to tell non-goths that they have no style, and if style means [[AIDS]] then this is true.
agricoladelsole.it
 
agrokombos.gr
PROTIP: Anyone who purposefully uses "wolf" in his name is either a Goth, an [[Injun]] or a [[pedophile]].
agroteknologi-s1.com
 
agsdigital.com.br
[[Image:dd_13.gif|thumb|200px|right|Based on a true story]]
ahmadmustaqim.staff.unja.ac.id
 
ahsanjaffri.com
==Diet==
aiacb.com
With the notable exception of gothapotami (who'll eat fucking anything), goths are [[mustard|mustards]] subsisting solely on their own feelings of social ostracism. To feed, a goth must try to solicit fear, contempt, or ridicule from [[mundane]]s. This causes an avalanche on thin goths, who are all the more bizarre because they could have a reasonable real life.
aibolit24.ru
 
aikido-irk.ru
Some cybergoths harbor extra feelings of elitism due to pronounced musculature from their supplementary [[meth]] and strenuous dancing.
aimonking.com
 
airfoundation.org.pk
They're also quite partial to Irn Bru.
airnetinfotech.com
 
airnews.club
<center><youtube>t5Dny-s27Dk</youtube></center>
aitec.edu.ec
 
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==[[Evolution]]==
akaflieg-sb.de
The Gothic subculture has spawned several new genres of epic faggotry that compete to outdo each other. [[Emo]], [[Scene]], [[Actor|Art Theatre]] and ''"The Crow"'' fans stalk the mall and clog independent coffee shops, failing at prodigious rates. These separate identities are easily confused and actually non-existent.
akensis.com
 
aksite.freedom.fi
Due primarily to the [[Nazi|German]] goths finally getting bored with mincing about like prats in black lipstick, the European community has been slipping ever more drastically in the direction of [[raver|candy-raving]] manic happy shit. [[Irony]] is defined here, if you missed it in 10th grade. In some sort of attempt to combine wearing bright colors and raving on [[ecstasy]] with the ethos and aesthetic of the Gothic movies they still pretend to like, the techno and trance tracks continue to be suspiciously overlaid with "sinister"-sounding chanting. This is the only noticeable difference between a ''European goth'' ecstasy rave and a ''mainstream'' ecstasy rave.
alanstrack.com
 
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==World Goth Day==
albideynet.net
As if it wasn't enough to go beyond obsessing over their music, and living a gothic lifestyle, there is in fact now a whole "holiday" dedicated to the Goth subculture. World Goth Day (or "[[Mershed Perderder|WARLD GAWFF DAE]]" in some dialects) is an [[int/|international]] celebration of Goth that takes place every year on the 22nd of May. Started [[2015]] in the United Kingdom, it has since been embraced by corporate entities and their social media to shill their "[[no|underground cred]]". See also: [[Halloween]] - aka Goth [[Christmas]].
albost.ru
 
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<center><gallery>
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File:World Goth Day pic 1.jpg
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File:World-goth-day-poster.jpg
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File:World Goth Day keep calm.jpg
alfalakgifts.com
File:Getting Their goth on for World Goth Day.jpg
alhamdtravel.com.pk
File:WGD 0267.JPG
alienearmusic.com
File:Happy World Goth day meme.jpg
alisatilsner.com
</gallery></center>
aljassarengineering.com
 
alkalifeph.fr
==Empty Threats, [[Lulz]] and [[You]]==
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<center>
allbdpaper.com
{{frame|{{morphquote|mqtest3|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
allergycenter.info
 
allmaster.net
|Just remember jackholes that when you take the piss out of people like this long enough, you wind up with another [[Columbine]] massacre. Just keep it coming...
allonfour.ru
 
allseoservices247.com
|Focus, who got [[banned|b&]]
almaagropecuaria.com
 
almancakitap.com
|You're an idiot if you get on my bad side. I'll get my revenge on you in some way, [[Internet Tough Guy|I can guarantee that to you.]] I'll confide in sources you don't know existed, I'll take charge and have my own [[personal army]] fucking your shit up, ripping you to shreds, letting them have their rightful piece of you if you aren't smart enough to stay on my go0d side. I [[lie|don't attack innocent people]], but if you dare take a hit at me, your shit will get fucked up. Huge reality check for you, and I won't give up until you're so miserable you can't even cry. People know not to make me mad in person, bad things happen. You little internet bitches are just starting to realize. If you give me one piece of information, no matter how minuscule it may seem, I can use that to build a whole web of shit around you, and there is no escape. I won't stop.
almasur.com
 
alobitanbd.com
|[[IHM]], goth and wannabe /i/nsurgent
alpa.co.za
 
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|border=#ffffff|background=#ffffff}}}}
alphonsor.rf.gd
</center>
alpineinc.co.in
 
alqayam.com
The correct answer to any defense or retort is: "Why So Serious?"
alsharq.de
<br>
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==Goth Blocking==
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In early 2010, mundanes began to report cases where they were "GOTH BLOCKED." Goths began to troll the entrances to restrooms and such. It has been theorized that this is an attempt of the Gothic race to fill the voids in their haunted afterlives.
alternative-consulting.com
 
altvater.ru
<CENTER><youtube>qqheLN9a6dE</youtube></CENTER>
alvisi.kiev.ua
<CENTER>''Case study of goth blocking.''</CENTER>
alvtank.se
 
ama-fitness.com
===How to Handle Being Goth Blocked===
amahame.net
*Do not panic.
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*If threatened, summon your god. (If an atheist, you could consider summoning the [[cops]].)
amanwelfare.org
*Don't worry. After all; they're Goth. Which means they're weak.
amazingmakeuptips.com
*Shove them aside and tell them to, "Get the fuck out of your way." They will stare at you in utter disbelief; but won't say anything, or risk losing the food they're eating.  Which is 24/7.
amazingtipsbook.com
*If it's a male goth (which is harder to discern than the female Goths) Grab him by his wimpy girl hair and smash his tiny head into the concrete. (Remember: they're Goths. Anyone not a Goth is instantly a [[Viking]] in terms of strength compared to these pansies.)
amazonoffice.com.br
 
ambutec.it
===Ways to to Prevent being Goth Blocked===
amecsite.org
*Stay away from places goths frequent, such as cemeteries, the mall, and McDonald's.
americanas-ofertasimperdiveis.com
*Avoid displaying feelings of despair, as this is likely to attract the goths.
americandeofertasimperdivel2017.com
*Engage in a subculture; only mundanes are goth blocked.
americanmasonry.net
*Do not overuse self-tanner. Orange skin irritates goths.
amerinfotech.com
*Do not worry about getting Goth Blocked, they are scared of any confrontation; Good or bad. They will walk away.
amerismail.com
 
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==Galleries==
amicicannisusa.org
{{cg|Gallery of Doom and Gloom|GalleryofDoomandGloom|center|<gallery perrow="5">
amigoexpress.com.br
Image:OtakuGoth.jpg|The Otaku Goth stalks its unsuspecting prey.
amirconstruction.com
Image:Antoncawk.jpg|Poser Goth
amlavatika.com
Image:Europe 526.jpg|Goths and [[vandal|Vandals]] once lived in harmony.
amphorasf.com
Image:AlarictheGoth.jpg|Alaric, King of the Goths. Not [[gay]].
amplitude-peinture.fr
Image:Bin Laden's Goth Son.jpg|[[Bin Laden]]'s son, Omar, is a goth. [[Trufax|No, srsly]].
amunow.org
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
anatomytrains.co.uk
File:Goththenandnow.jpg|Evolution of Goth
anavin.ir
Image:Suprise!!.jpg|[[Surprise buttsex|Surprise bustlesecks!]]
anchorwheelmotel.com.au
Image:Sabshroom.jpg|A typical goth whore.
andregolf.de
Image:Frustrated Goth Is Frustr8d.JPG|He's NOT having a good day.
andrewrobertsllc.info
Image:Goth_Couple.jpg|A typical Goth Couple.
anduongjsc.com
Image:2adelaidegoths.jpg|Two overweight goths from [[Adelaide|RAdelaide]], [[Ausfailia]], [[doing it wrong|showing the world how it's done]].
anewyoufitness.com
Image:101006 ae boobs by jcdr.png|Typical goth
angelosada.com
Image:Goth Lee.jpg|An AZN Goth. (Also is an [[Insane Clown Posse]] fan)
angliadom.ru
image:Sneaking3.jpg|When the mockery became too much, Meat Loaf died his hair red and retired to the cemetery for some angst.
animalfusion.com
Image:Dontletitbreed.jpg|Why abortion should be legalized.
animatemauricio.com.ar
Image:Asiancowboydinosaurgoth.jpg|A faggy AZN Cowboy Dinosaur Goth.
anonymous-seeds.com
Image:OSHITLOL.JPG|[[Michelle Belanger|Some]] are goth well into their 50's.
anrika.se
Image:AJ The Gay Viking.jpg|Ya think ya got enough [[black metal|spikes]] thar, [[no u|dude]]?
answerzones.com
Image:Capeboy.jpg|Cape Boy: [[furry]], [[faggot]], and all-around snazzy dresser.
antabolic.com
Image:Emo Gideon.gif|Surprisingly given their well documented Satanic and [[vampire|vampiric]] practices, only a few British goths vote [[Tory]].
antalyatente.net
Image:Gothic Wood.JPG|Very dark. Very goth. Very wood-paneled.
aocinc.co.jp
Image:Gothcake.jpg|[[Delicious Cake|Delicious goth cake, you must EAT IT!!]]
aontoyangfortcnewhclenw.com
File:1357185370451.jpg|Note the [[Furby]] atop the wardrobe. Truly, the height of dark gothic fashion.
aparatosolucoes.com.br
Image:Jet Jetson.jpg|As scary as it may seem, goths do procreate.
apenologia.pt
Image:Kawaii_Perky_Goth_7_by_Bloodmyer.jpg|Typical anime goth. Thinks she's “Kawaii”, just like all the other fugly anime goths.
aplcricket.co.nz
Image:Dxdcockbag.jpg|I'M SO GOTH I SHIT BATS
apnaauto.net
Image:Dxdshitkurtz.jpg|GOTHS ARE NOT ABOVE SHITTING FAGGOTS
apniweb.com
Image:Jamie.jpg|IMMA CHARGIN' MA RAZ0R.
app-1490710520.000webhostapp.com
Image:J-emo11.jpg|I would [[fap]] to [[photoshop|this]].
app-1502132339.000webhostapp.com
Image:Scenesters.jpg|[[lurk|What goths do in their free time]].
app2.letmacworkfaster.site
Image:Goth.jpg|Rebellious goths
app5.letmacworkfaster.world
Image:Gayesttchort.jpeg|YOUR DICK IN MY ASS MAKES ME FEEL SO TRVE !
apparelmachnery.com
Image:L 0e5954a692eb5cc6822114b3a8ef8b32.jpg|lulz Everyday is Halloweeeen!
appcogroup.my
Image:Pssmile02.jpg|Typical [[anime]]-freak goth.
appfixing.space
Image:Graveyard_romp.jpg|This place is abandonded, like my soul.
appieid-monitor.com
Image:Deathmetal_mall.jpg|Even the [[Aeris]] cosplayer has friends...
apple.com-cleaner.systems
Image:Cndwow1.jpg|A gay goth.
appleletics.com
Image:Goth-myk2.jpg|Goths love their contrast settings
appsecurityr.com
Image:SSchan1.jpg|Some Goths are also [[trap|traps]].
apronconsulting.com
Image:Harry Potter Goths.jpg|Typical goth witches.
apsaraicecreams.com
Image:Stefan_ackermann.jpg|[[Bill Kaulitz|Stefan Ackermann]] of [[Germany|Das Ich]] covers his body with [[MS Paint|paint]] at a concert.
aptra.mx
Image:cyberkid.jpg|Typical CyberGoth; notice the condoms on its head. Also notice that it is Fapanese.
archantilles.fr
Image:Goths2.jpg|[[WTF]]
archbangla.com
Image:Gothfreak.jpg‎|I think I've made my case, your Honor.
ardent-inc.co.jp
Image:pinkhairgoth.jpg| what a pretty flower!
ardent-lotus.com
Image:1242088178691.jpg|Q: Which one of the 4 tagged people is the Goth?
arhangela.ru
Image:Sherrodvsgammara0of.jpg|Fapfapfapfapfap.
arightcharlie.whodigital.com
Image:DeathrockBitchez.jpg|Goths = Deathrockers = Losers
arizonalionscamp.org
Image:Gothfriends.jpg
armaanitravels.com
Image:GothyGoth.jpg|Halloween is not a lifestyle.
arqmdiaz.com.ar
File:Angst.jpeg
arriendomesas.cl
Image:RoguePineapple.jpg|Some goths are actually mutated fruits.
art9plus1.net
Image:Gothfail.jpg|A [[lie|beautiful]] Goth kid .
artcccp.com
File:Goth fattie.jpg|He belittles Christians by eating them.
artdeli.co.kr
Image:Gothsclosed.png|Goth's Closed, due to Christ.
art-dentica.eu
File:Goth-donotwant.jpeg
arteenimagen.net
File:Andrew yang goth.png
art-fashion.pl
File:Small Goth Girl.jpg
arthadebang.co.id
File:SoGoth.jpg
artho-ag.ch
File:Sacramento goth community.jpg
artisanestateagency.co.uk
File:SoGoth2.jpg
artisangarricmickael.fr
</gallery>}}
artisbags.com
 
art-n-couture.com
{{cg|Gallery of Dank, dark memes|dankdarkmemes|center|<gallery perrow="5">
artpreneurs.ca
File:MorticiaAddamsMotivationalPoster.jpg
artrone.ru
File:Mc-goth o 1326081.jpg
artstalker.ru
File:GOthMemes435.jpg
arvetellefsen.no
File:MothGothmeme.jpg
asamuratherbal.com
File:HalloweenClearanceSales.jpg
asbschildersbedrijf.be
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
asdawest.com
File:goths for trump.png
aser-algram.com
File:Gothmemesheartclothes.jpg
as-food.cm
File:Even-if-you-hate-everything-no-on-hates-hula-hoops.jpg
asharna.com
File:GothTalk SNLSkit.jpg ‎
ashokdamodaran.com
File:Gothguymemes.jpg
asiapearlhk.com
File:Goth GoTHICC meme.png
asiawellness.com.sg
File:Goth Pepe Groyper as robert smith of the cure.jpg
askoe-hainfeld.at
File:PastelGothAnatomyof.png
aslaurices.com
File:PoeGothmemes.png
as-ney.com
File:Healthgothmemeswonka.jpg
asociacioncar.com
File:Gothmemestradgoth.jpg
asreklama.com
File:Gothmeme980.jpg
asscenihotosidea.blogspot.com
File:GothmemesCONSPIRACY.jpg
asses.co.uk
File:GothMemes24.jpg
assessni.co.uk
File:Bela Lugosi's Dead Plays around Goths Bauhaus meme.jpg
assistenza.agrelliebasta.it
File:Gothmemes34.jpg
assoleste.org.br
File:Gothmemes43.jpg
astm.it
 
astromagicmaster.com
</gallery>}}
asymmetrymusicmagazine.com
 
atat.co.kr
{{cg|#Gothproblems|gothproblems|center|<gallery perrow="5">
atdepaula.com
File:Gothproblems56.jpg
athenacomplexs.com
File:Goth problems KidsRebelling.jpg
atlantaseguros.com
File:Goth Problems 80s Night.jpg
atualizar-cadastro.com
File:Gothproblems59.jpg
auberge-du-viaduc.fr
File:goth big tiddy.jpg
audre.com
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
augustogemelli.com
File:Gothproblemslaundry.jpg
auroratownship.org
File:Gtohproblems.jpg
autismmv.org
File:Gothproblems.jpg‎
autobilan-chasseneuillais.fr
File:First World Goth Problems.jpg
autoescolasantarita.com.br
File:FirstWorldGothproblemsmem34.jpg
autoglassalpha.com
File:Gothproblems1980s.png
autoklucz.eu
File:Gothproblems45.jpg
automationsguiden.com
File:Gothproblems897.jpg
autoroom.no
File:Gothproblems68.jpg
avada.nycwebapps.com
File:Goth problems I cannot find my black shirt laundry meme.jpg
avayemehran.ir
File:Oh-50-you-think-dressing-goth-is-easy-bau-haus-14805729.png
avecmoderation.org
</gallery>}}
aviatopfuel.com
 
avijehdaroo.co
{{cg|Gothy Reaction images|reactionimagesLEL|center|<gallery perrow="5">
aviodg.eu
File:Goth cartoon girl reaction image - Frightened and shocked.jpg
avtocenter-nsk.ru
File:Goth reaction image - Wednesday Addams Is Having None of This.jpg
avtostrada.tula.ru
File:DP goth reaction images Shocked and surprised.jpg
awto-tros.ru
File:Lucy Loud TheLoudHouse Goth Reaction image Excited.JPG|excited
aygir.org
File:Goth reaction face images YECCCHH Gwen Total Drama.jpg
ayurjoy.com
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
ayurvedsolution.in
File:Goth Reaction image 12.jpeg
azitconsultants.com
File:Rsz carlmccoy4 - hires large.jpg
azovskoe-more.biz
File:DP goth reaction images sipping and watching the drama unfold.jpg
aztekrecords.com
File:Death-From-Sandman get a load of this loser.jpg
babydeal.ie
File:Goth reaction image 13.jpeg
babywantsbling.com
File:Goth reaction images Make me.jpg
backofficellc.com
File:Goth reaction image laughs in goth.jpg
badgleys-landscaping.com
</gallery>}}
baiadoseixal.cm-seixal.pt
 
baigachahs.edu.bd
==Videos==
balajigloves.net
{{fv|Cobbvids|background-color:#ffffff;|font-weight: bold;|<youtube>0RrXLl7MqLk</youtube>|<youtube>MlTs4Oipw7o</youtube>|<youtube>A9sMZ_5NjM8</youtube>|<youtube>0znEzUeGykI</youtube>|<youtube>Ypj283NSltI</youtube>|<youtube>ov97Guc6e-E</youtube>|<youtube>TTRkoEHUrFk</youtube>|<youtube>veYM-FcRnqM</youtube>|<youtube>R7WnV6BImkI</youtube> <br />}}
balakagroup.com
 
balistyle.net
==See Also==
ballongdekor.se
[[File:PepeTheFrogGothmemes.jpg|250px|thumb|right|"[[Pepe|PEPE]]!!"]]
ballymoreboardingkennels.ie
*[[Columbine]] - The media immediately blamed Goth culture for causing this, even though the [[fags|2 killers]] weren't involved in any way with the culture.
balser.it
*[[Faggoth]]
bancodobrasil1.com
*[[Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab]]
bandelstjohns.com
*[[Goggles]]
bandergy.com
*[[GoneGothic]]
bandleader.com.br
*[[KILL IT WITH FIRE]]
bangtochat.info
*[[LJ Lice Drama]]
banka-navibor.by
*[[My Immortal]]
bank-of-america-logon-online.usa.cc
*[[Neil Gaiman's Sandman]]
baotintravel.com
*[[New Romantic]]
bapclients.com
*[[The Sisters of Mercy]] - one of the OG gothrock bands.
barbadostoday.bb
*[[Suicide Girls]]
barcons.it
*[[Emo]] - Goth's whiny kid sister.
barefootshiatsumassage.com
*[[Steampunk]] - Goth's dorky, autistic little brother.
barrettatile.com
*[[Nu metal]] - wigger/metal fusion which is popular with mall-goths.
barryoleary.co.uk
*[[Chav]] - Strange creatures native to [[Great Britain]] that prey upon goths.
basicpolymers.com
*[[Vampire]]
basics.it
*[[VampireFreaks]] - One of the most famous Goth forums.  
basis-opora.ru
 
bassobsessed.com
===Notable Goths===
batiment-metallique.net
*[[Chin-chan]]
batonrougekravmaga.com
*[[Chuckula]]
bauerlofts.ca
*[[Don Henrie]]
bazaar.tokyo
*[[Emilie Autumn|Emilie "Glittertits" Autumn]]
bb-atualize.com
*[[Ex-Raye]]
bbingenieria.com
*[[Friends of A-Log#MsUmlaut|MsUmlaut]]
bbrothersgroup.net
*[[Girlvinyl]]
bb-seguro-auto.j.dnr.kz
*[[Gothguurl1989]]
bcgroup-sa.com
*[[Gothzilla]]
bdbindia.com
*[[IHM]]
beachbride.com
*[[Ickeriss69]]
beachpics.com
*[[Jack Spicer]]
beanrushcafe.com
*[[Jeff Weise]] - an [[injun]] goth from an isolated, shitty, rural reservation in the middle of fucking nowhere. He killed 9 people on March 21st, [[2005]], at his local [[school]].
beardedcm.com
*[[Jerry from Doomsday Refreshment Committee]]
beastwear.com.au
*[[Kimveer Gill]] - Tried to [[school shooting|shoot up his school]]. He only got [[epic fail|1]] kill though.
beautystudioswh.com
*[[KurtBatz]]
bebeformosura.com.br
*[[Lustifera]]
becuo.com
*[[Matt Crimmins]]
bedanc.si
*[[Michelle Belanger]]
bedroomdid.com
*[[MissHannahMinx]]
beebreeding.net
*[[MsUmlaut]]
beecology.org
*[[Neil Gaiman]]
beehandyman.com
*[[Neil Gaiman's Sandman]]
beemartialarts.com
*[[Nickolaus]]
befusion.org
*[[Sophie Lancaster]]
behaynes.com
*[[Tara Gilesbie]]
bellafemmebeauty.co.nz
*[[Voodoo devil doll]]
bellihair.com
*[[You]]
benpres-holdings.com
 
bentala.com
===External Links===
beologopedie.nl
*[https://www.reddit.com/r/goth/ /r/goth on reddit]
be-onlinemarketing.com
*[http://www.thebelfry.rip/ The Belfry Network]
berketarim.com
*{{KYM|memes/subcultures/goth|Goth entry on KnowYourMeme}}
berndog.ru
*[http://www.blackwaterfall.com/ Goth types]
berrytireservice.com
*[https://www.gothicandamazing.com/  Gothic and Amazing magazine]
bestadbid.com
*[https://theblogginggoth.com/ The Blogging Goth]
bestalco.ru
*[http://vampirefreaks.com Vampirefreaks.com]
bestbuhcompany.ru
*http://www.rebelsmarket.com/blog/
bestpartyever.cl
*[http://www.whatisgoth.com/ What Is Goth?]
bestreception.co.uk
*[http://www.darkwave.org.uk/faq/ag/ alt.gothic newsgroup FAQ]
beststocktrend.com
*[http://worldgothday.com/ World Goth Day (May 22)]
beta2.pagie.net
*[https://412teens.org/qna/what-is-the-Christian-view-on-Goth-Emo.php The Christian view on Goth]
betterlifemyanmar.com
===YouTubes===
be-unique-wiesbaden.de
*{{youtube|JMvMzQ4Vu-8| Goth parodies Emo}}
bezglad.com
*{{youtube|t2rPpjctNlk| Number 1 Goth band}}
bfgytu-indgtoy.tk
 
bfz.biz
{{Template:Goth}}
bhavanabank.com
{{Template:Music}}
bhojpurtoday.com
{{Dying Alone}}
bhpipoz.pl
{{Timeline|Featured article October 30, [[2005]]|[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]|[[Goth]]|[[Vampire]]}}
bibys.com
{{timeline|Featured article October 29 & 30, [[2017]]|[[Mr. Bones' Wild Ride]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Halloween]]}}
bic-max.com
{{timeline|Featured article May 22 and 23, [[2020]]|[[Wapanese]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Emo]]}}
bigairusa.com
 
bigdata-toronto.com
{{timeline|Featured article May 22 and 23, [[2021]]|[[Palestine]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Belarus]]}}
bigfix-music.com
 
bijuteriistarmd.ro
{{timeline|Featured article March 24 and 25, [[2023]]|[[Smoking]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[CreepshowArt]]}}
bike-salon.ru
 
binary-clouds.com
{{timeline|Featured article May 21 and 22, [[2023]]|[[Vampire]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Sexual Harassment]]}}
binyapub.com
 
biogreencycle.com
 
bioperfect.pl
[[Category:Subcultures]][[Category: Cliques]][[Category:Music Genres]]
biopro.ie
bit.do
bit.ly
biztocloud.com
bjselectric.com
bl11-253-38.dsl.telepac.pt
blackbreath.com
blackdnyc.com
blackhawkcameratruck.com
blog.broadcast-technology.com
blog.ittune.net
blog.koreadaily.com
blogs.gursha-dubai.com
blogs.itsynergy.co
blog.starweb.com.br
blog.tattooideas365.com
bluewinsource.weebly.com
bluga.com.ar
bmo2016.al
bmx-saintquentin.com
bnsolutions.com.au
bobdivelymodels.com
bodrumkoypazari.com
bolileather.com
bondiwebdesign.com
bonetbienmanger.fr
bonnellspring.com
boonwurrung.org.au
bordom.ru
boticariovalepresent.home.sapo.pt
botosh.com
bottsmall.com
boundless-beauty.news
boutiquell.almteam-consulting.com
bouwgroepzuiderbosch.nl
boxcolor.ru
boxeg.net
boxer-power.com
boxianbaiwan.com
boydrichards.com
bozhou.gov.cn
braineyak.com
brakrock.be
brandieburrillphotography.com
brandonadamsjewelry.com
brazelton.org
brazztech.com
brianweinstock.com
bridgeglobal.org
brisbanefashion.com
broadwayinstitute.com
brodigital.se
broli.net
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bswlive.com
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bukharapiter.ru
bulkfoodscanada.com
camorg.net
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camsecurity.net
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cancel.transaction.73891347.itunes.apple.semsyayinevi.com
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cardmusical.com.sapo.pt
careeducation.com
cargostream.dk
caribbeanrealestate.luxuryvilladestinations.com
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carlosbaltazar.pt
carshare.com.sg
cartaovirtual.no-ip.info
casadecarnessola.com.br
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ceook.org
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de-turckheim.net
dev.chambredhotebressuire.com
dev.dawnbreaker.com
developer.qbicblack.com
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dev.maruemoinschere.fr
dev-supoort00.regis-fanpageee-confirm.ml
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dialam-plus.ru
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Latest revision as of 14:28, 4 June 2023

"Do you Catan?"
Gothtard musicians.

Goths (Gawths, Goffs, Gawff) are a self-aggrandizing bunch of attention whores, whose special talent is enjoying attention while pretending to disdain it. They especially revel in posturing to incite insult, so that they can say something deep and angsty. The elitist kick they get from this is visible under their pasty pale skin. If under some circumstance the color of something other than skin is in question, assume it's black.

Evolutionary social scientists postulate that the Goth represents an early nocturnal bifurcation from the Greb or Greebo lineage, due to its similar preponderance of black clothing, leather, and spikes. However, this pussying-out from the well-established and resilient parent lifeform left Goths unfitted to the niche of moping around miserably in black, which has now been filled by the Emo subspecies. It seems inevitable, therefore, that Goths will become extinct within decades unless new breeding colonies are established.

A Brief History of Goth

Keep it oldschool.

The Goths were Germanic tribes who harried the Romans in the 3rd and 4th centuries but later Christianity kicked in and they wussed out. In the 5th and 6th centuries, they split up into the Visigoths and the Ostrogoths, then pwnt Iberia and Italy, because they wanted to try a little dark meat. That's how "Goth" became a term to describe something that was gaudy and barbaric. During the Middle Ages, gaudy barbaric cathedrals built by the French were called "Gothic" and by proxy, "GAY" was added to the meaning of "Goth". The Gothic style emphasized high, open ceilings with large windows set between pillars, creating a bright atmosphere of optimism and reverence during masses, even when the plague was running amok. Compare this with what you have observed of Gothtards in your community.

The first recorded new use of "goths" was from a 1978 magazine article, in which Joy Division's producer commented on the gaudy and barbaric nature of fans, calling them a "horde of goths". Like "Nigger" to blacks and "Master" to whites, some fringe punks shed the embraced their new identity by painting over and redecorating "Gothic" into something that doesn't involve work: reading Romantic and Colonial-era literature, Victorian era clothing, Hair Metal era.. hair, later, sheltering a mindfuck of wildly different music genres that clash with each other as badly as pickles and milk on an empty stomach.

The current batch of "babybats" are a diverse and interesting group, taken as a whole; but taken in small groups they are a clique of narcissistic cock humpers, much like their 1970s fore-bearers.

Types

Betty Page was attractive, healthy, sane and a little kinky, but just for the fun and money. She smiled a lot and tanned well. How she became a gothic role model is not clear.
An artist's impression of a gothapotamus.

Sane individuals regard goths as being a homogeneous group. This is an entirely accurate appraisal, but in the interests of Unwarranted Self Importance most goths try to makes themselves unique by joining a smaller, more stringent section of the already hyper-conformist non-conformists. Remember, there are no differences beyond the superficial.

  • The Alpha Goth: Within each town or city there is one of these for each prevalent genre. They are attention whores and rule the others with their relative desirability.
  • Babybat/Kindergoth: A very young goth, or an initiate. They are not yet permitted to speak in group settings with older goths, and could get banned from the clique for a week if they so much as go to the bathroom without checking in first. Often confused with mallgoths.
  • Betty Page Goths: They love 1940s pin-up girls. Don't get your hopes up; unlike like Rosie the Riveter, they are not strong, red-blooded American Amazons that make sandwiches and assemble Sherman tanks. Some of the stick-thin to pleasantly-plump ones are pretty fap-worthy, but fail at stimulating retro-porn fetishists.
  • Black Metal Goth: Takes mediocre bands way too seriously. Looks like a regular metalhead with black-light highlights. See Deathrocker.
  • Club Goth: Goths that twingle at dark industrial/electronic style music festivals/concerts. Many wear white or pastel loli outfits -not ironically- a pair of fuzzy balls on springs on top of their heads and suck pacifiers. When pacifiers are in quantity, the possibility of a furry appearance increases dramatically, leading some to suspect that there is non-cartoon gothic babyfur porn in existence even as this article is posted.(RULE 34 *[1])
  • Criminal Goth: Most of these Goth are from Inner-Cities and fight (or at rare occasions work alongside) the Wiggers, Skaters and Chavs wreak havoc and attack innocent civilians in the streets, most Criminal Goth hate anything and everything and are a close relative of a "Punk".
  • Cyber Goth: Otaku goth with glow in the dark hair and a Gothic.Net user account.
  • Gothapotamus: The gothapotamus is a large, bloated land mammal that causes secondhand embarrassment wherever it goes. At least one can normally be sighted anywhere goths congregate, though they may also be sighted in fast food restaurants. Distinguishing features include rolls of pasty-white flesh fighting against the confines of woefully inadequate corsets, fishnet shirts under which flabby, hairy manboobs are horribly apparent and white makeup that looks deeply unflattering on them and only serves to highlight their massive, round moon faces and double chins. Female gothapotami are the most commonly sighted, although males also exist as the goth scene is a haven for fat people trying to make themselves look interesting and failing. Male gothapotami are much more common in the steampunk scene, however, where they are easily spotted by their disgusting, unkempt facial hair.
  • Hot Goth: Is sexually mature and will not fuck you, unless you surprise her. They're much easier to surprise when they're whacked out on E, and with all that jailbait running around who'd miss a couple twenty-somethings? PROTIP: Goths are immune to missing white woman syndrome, because white people are collectively embarrassed by them. The media has caught on and the Jew community has shown rare pity by not holding them up to ridicule on the nightly news.
  • Hot Topic Goth: Has enough money to shop at the mall, despite the fact that Hot Topic and other mall stores are about as mainstream as one can get. - See Mallgoths.
  • Mallgoth: These are the ones that don't know a damn thing about goth culture, but tend to go for shock value/look retarded. They are recognized for wearing black eyeshadow to their eyebrows, and black lipstick with little lines at the end. They listen to the shit music, Marilyn Manson and slipcock. To pwn one of them, tell them they're a poser. They will most likely say, "You don't know me in real life im not a poser," or "At least im not a prep like you!" - See Wannabe Goth.
  • Metal Goth: Normal people cannot distinguish these from Metalheads and so they are rumored to be extinct.
  • Nu-Goth: A mixture of gothic and hipster fashion aesthetics. Most nu-goths haven't even heard of any gothic music acts, meaning they're not really goths - as goth is a music based subculture.
  • Otaku Goth: An unholy combination that the Goth Illuminati invented to give young recruits an isolationist mentality. Prevents them from wanting to expand their circle of friends, so they can't be converted to babyfur when they turn 20.
  • Pastel Goth: An excuse for teens to wear "edgy" clothing, and super-bright colors while latching onto more established subcultures. Probably comes from tumblr.
  • Raver Goth: A club goth with large, baggy pants and sometimes suspenders. Some of these wear Cat in the Hat-style hats, to honor their funny hat-wearing French heritage. - See Cybergoth.
  • S&M Goth: Attempts to fit into another subculture that is more acceptable to mainstream society. The only visual difference is their pallor.
  • Trad Goth: They read Voltaire and Poe, and listen to Siouxsie and the Banshees. They (and your mom) are the only known users of Aqua Net, worshiping Nick Cave as a god, and quoting Alistair Crowley make these guys the coolest goths.
  • Trench Coat Goths: They wear trench coats and listen to metal. Fingerless gloves optional. Due to a certain high-tempered episode of free mass organ ventilation, goths try to distance themselves from them.
  • Wannabe Goth: Basically just faggots who act all depressed and cover one side of their face with their long hair, probably not even Goth... just some type of Emo, whom Goth hate passionately. Kurt Cobain wannabes. See Mallgoth.


The Music

One of the main focuses of goth "culture" is on the shitty music that inspired this "alternative lifestyle". Traditional/"trad-goth" gothic rock and gothic-post-punk bands include:

  • Bauhaus - started the post-punk trend towards "goth" with their "spooky" and experimental music. If you're goth you've heard their song "Bela Lugosi's Dead" at least 100 times.
  • Bone Orchard - gothic-post-punk/deathrock/
  • The Bolshoi - not the faggy dance ballet stuff, but the post-punk-pop band. You've probably heard "Away" or "Sunday Morning" on 1980s Alternative/New Wave YouTube Music playlists.
  • The Cure "TECHNICALLY ALTERNATIVE ROCK, GUIS"
  • Fields of The Nephilim - "yee-haw, im a cowboy" - Carl McCoy (FoTN frontman), probably
  • The Mission/The Mission UK - (the band Wayne Hussey started after leaving Sisters of Mercy)
  • Siouxsie and the Banshees - '"TECHNICALLY POST-PUNK, NERD"
  • The Sisters of Mercy (their leader Andrew Eldritch will cry 'till the sun comes up that he's "not a goth," though)
  • Skeletal Family

Newer (post-80s) general "gothic bands" include:

Thanks to Neil Gaiman Death gave up the robes and the sickle to become a cute little goth girls
  • The 69 Eyes
  • The Bellwether Syndicate
  • Black Angel
  • Brotherhood
  • Catherines Cathedral
  • Chelsea Wolfe
  • Dead Souls Rising
  • Merciful Nuns
  • The Merry Thoughts
  • Rosetta Stone (UK)
  • She Past Away
  • Star Industry
  • Sonsombre


Not necessarily gothic rock, but often mixed with gothrock music:

  • Darkwave music (examples: Clan of Xymox, Dead Can Dance, The Crüxshadows)
  • Deathrock music (examples: Alien Sex Fiend, 45 Grave)
  • Horror Punk music (examples: Misfits, Blitzkid, The Jasons, Wednesday 13)

Canon

Since goths are both seclusive, anti-social, and sectarian, there's really no pinning this down. They can't even get along with normal people well enough to avoid cutting, poetry or drugs. Getting them together long enough to agree on anything is like trying to resolve the CoS with common sense. Gothic fashion will tend towards a combination of two principles over time:

  1. Colors that no one else wears exclusively, so that they can have an identity
  2. Impractical designs

While they don't agree, they'll follow those principles. Fair skin is manpoints to goths, irrespective of genre or gender. In order to mitigate the potential social rejection they so long for, goths create uppity stock phrases to explain their aversion of sunlight. Goths like to tell non-goths that they have no style, and if style means AIDS then this is true.

PROTIP: Anyone who purposefully uses "wolf" in his name is either a Goth, an Injun or a pedophile.

Based on a true story

Diet

With the notable exception of gothapotami (who'll eat fucking anything), goths are mustards subsisting solely on their own feelings of social ostracism. To feed, a goth must try to solicit fear, contempt, or ridicule from mundanes. This causes an avalanche on thin goths, who are all the more bizarre because they could have a reasonable real life.

Some cybergoths harbor extra feelings of elitism due to pronounced musculature from their supplementary meth and strenuous dancing.

They're also quite partial to Irn Bru.

The Gothic subculture has spawned several new genres of epic faggotry that compete to outdo each other. Emo, Scene, Art Theatre and "The Crow" fans stalk the mall and clog independent coffee shops, failing at prodigious rates. These separate identities are easily confused and actually non-existent.

Due primarily to the German goths finally getting bored with mincing about like prats in black lipstick, the European community has been slipping ever more drastically in the direction of candy-raving manic happy shit. Irony is defined here, if you missed it in 10th grade. In some sort of attempt to combine wearing bright colors and raving on ecstasy with the ethos and aesthetic of the Gothic movies they still pretend to like, the techno and trance tracks continue to be suspiciously overlaid with "sinister"-sounding chanting. This is the only noticeable difference between a European goth ecstasy rave and a mainstream ecstasy rave.

World Goth Day

As if it wasn't enough to go beyond obsessing over their music, and living a gothic lifestyle, there is in fact now a whole "holiday" dedicated to the Goth subculture. World Goth Day (or "WARLD GAWFF DAE" in some dialects) is an international celebration of Goth that takes place every year on the 22nd of May. Started 2015 in the United Kingdom, it has since been embraced by corporate entities and their social media to shill their "underground cred". See also: Halloween - aka Goth Christmas.

Empty Threats, Lulz and You

   
 
Just remember jackholes that when you take the piss out of people like this long enough, you wind up with another Columbine massacre. Just keep it coming...


 


 
 

—Focus, who got b&

   
 
You're an idiot if you get on my bad side. I'll get my revenge on you in some way, I can guarantee that to you. I'll confide in sources you don't know existed, I'll take charge and have my own personal army fucking your shit up, ripping you to shreds, letting them have their rightful piece of you if you aren't smart enough to stay on my go0d side. I don't attack innocent people, but if you dare take a hit at me, your shit will get fucked up. Huge reality check for you, and I won't give up until you're so miserable you can't even cry. People know not to make me mad in person, bad things happen. You little internet bitches are just starting to realize. If you give me one piece of information, no matter how minuscule it may seem, I can use that to build a whole web of shit around you, and there is no escape. I won't stop.


 


 
 

IHM, goth and wannabe /i/nsurgent

The correct answer to any defense or retort is: "Why So Serious?"

Goth Blocking

In early 2010, mundanes began to report cases where they were "GOTH BLOCKED." Goths began to troll the entrances to restrooms and such. It has been theorized that this is an attempt of the Gothic race to fill the voids in their haunted afterlives.

Case study of goth blocking.

How to Handle Being Goth Blocked

  • Do not panic.
  • If threatened, summon your god. (If an atheist, you could consider summoning the cops.)
  • Don't worry. After all; they're Goth. Which means they're weak.
  • Shove them aside and tell them to, "Get the fuck out of your way." They will stare at you in utter disbelief; but won't say anything, or risk losing the food they're eating. Which is 24/7.
  • If it's a male goth (which is harder to discern than the female Goths) Grab him by his wimpy girl hair and smash his tiny head into the concrete. (Remember: they're Goths. Anyone not a Goth is instantly a Viking in terms of strength compared to these pansies.)

Ways to to Prevent being Goth Blocked

  • Stay away from places goths frequent, such as cemeteries, the mall, and McDonald's.
  • Avoid displaying feelings of despair, as this is likely to attract the goths.
  • Engage in a subculture; only mundanes are goth blocked.
  • Do not overuse self-tanner. Orange skin irritates goths.
  • Do not worry about getting Goth Blocked, they are scared of any confrontation; Good or bad. They will walk away.

Galleries

Gallery of Doom and Gloom About missing Pics
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#Gothproblems About missing Pics
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Gothy Reaction images About missing Pics
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Videos


See Also

"PEPE!!"

Notable Goths

YouTubes

I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...
I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...
Goth is part of a series on
GOTH
[Grow up and quit whiningEmbrace your inner darkness]
I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...
I WILL NOT KILL MY CLASSMATES...

Perverts

Don HenrieJerry from Doomsday Refreshment CommitteeJonathon The InhalerLustiferaMichelle BelangerRyle Garamonde

Pussies

Brittany HolechkoDimmuborgiressIckeriss69KurtBatzLarathenMatt CrimminsMissHannahMinxMsUmlautNeil GaimanNickolausPaulie CalafioreSinnSophie LancasterSuccubbusTrent Reznor

Psychos

GothzillaHouse KheperuJeff WeiseJasmine RichardsonKimveer GillLindsay Kantha SouvannarathMemoryandDreamPink SpiderSephirothslaveSebastian BosseTodd Hoyt

Posers

Dani FilthEx-RayeFesazukichanJack SpicerJetTheeReaperPaganDeathKnightTooDamnFilthyVoodoo devil dollYouZeriara

Places

BasementsColumbineDeadJournalGoth macrosHot TopicRichland Collegiate High SchoolVampire Community Message BoardVampire FreaksVampire PosersVampire Shitty

Pastimes

Aiding the Dark Lord in BattleAngstBeing EdgyCuttingDrugsGuroHomosexualityMurderMy ImmortalNeil Gaiman's SandmanNecrophiliaNot having friendsPathways: Game - AmeliaPoetryRuby GloomRuining the InternetSchool ShootingSuicideThe Nightmare Before ChristmasVampirismWhere The Dead Go To Die

Noise

Anal CuntThe CureDoomsday Refreshment CommitteeDr. SteelDream TheaterEmilie AutumnGothic RockJoy DivisionMisfitsNew RomanticNINThe Sisters of MercySiouxsie and The BansheesSlipknotTool

Goth is part of a series on

Music

Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage.

Goth is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron AlexisAaron BushnellAaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAngry GrandpaAnna Nicole SmithAnthony WarnerAsa CoonBrandon CrispBrian AdamsBurntfishieByuuChang WenCharmaine DragunCho Seung-HuiChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineDragoneerEazy-EEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyGeorge SodiniGizgizGleb KorablevGursimran KaurHappyCabbieHarambeH.P. LovecraftHeath LedgerJake DavisonJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonKate SpadeKitty0706Kurt CobainLemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLil PeepLiloLoki BlackfangLowtaxMia JaninMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceNathan GaleNautica MaloneNikita LytkinOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRina PalenkovaRipperRobin WilliamsRonnie McNuttRudolph ZurickRyan PalmeterShawn WoolleyShayShuaibySol PaisStephen PaddockSteve StephensThomas Matthew CrooksTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler DumstorfVester FlanaganWilliam AtchisonXXXTentacion

Those Dying Alone

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Featured article October 30, 2005
Preceded by
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Goth Succeeded by
Vampire
Featured article October 29 & 30, 2017
Preceded by
Mr. Bones' Wild Ride
Goth Succeeded by
Halloween
Featured article May 22 and 23, 2020
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