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Xydexx Squeakypony
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THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ. BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM. |
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Xydexx Squeakypony is in an internet sissy fight with Equivamp. Please dig up lulz on them both. |
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According to Karl's own |
Karl "Xydexx" Jorgensen is a moribund, third-rate, washed-up, middle-aged, hypocritical furry. He doesn't have issues - he has the entire fucking print run. Everyone in the fandom secretly dislikes him--especially the faggots on WikiFur--but they keep their mouths firmly shut so as not to attract his attentions, because he wields immense and terrifying power in the furry world as Propaganda Minister Publications Director and spokesman for #1 furry convention Anthrocon, a position he secured by diligent asskissing and cocksucking.
Karl went to artfag school at least 100 years ago and worked for a while as a glorified secretary, going from job to job and getting fired when it became obvious that even a retard could operate Microsoft Office. Some time in 2007 he lost his mind and his job, and now spends his entire life on the Internet. He claims he goes outside, but this claim is dubious because as you'll see in this article, there is literally no one on the Internet who holds an obsessive grudge longer than Xydexx. Most people forget about flamewars days after they're over. You will see that a decade is a mere snap of the fingers to Xydexx and his psychotic obsessiveness.
Lacking anything meaningful in his life, he spends his days editing this article, obsessively searching for any and all mentions of himself anywhere, and generally being unfunny. He's slowly losing his mind to late-onset schizophrenia and thinks that this article was written by Triggur (see below). He reacts to this knowledge by copying this article into a new article about Triggur, just changing the names. In Xydexx's world, this is the height of hilarity.
Currently, Xydexx's only connection to the outside world is the Anthrocon conbook. Uncle Kage pays him big welfare dollars to whip up a jizzrag in MS Publisher for the furfags attending his convention. Of course, there being better porn on the Internet, most furfags send Xydexx's precious conbook right into the trash along with their used condoms. Xydexx hangs desperately onto the conbook (and has for some time), because it's the only thing left that gives him the illusion of being useful to the outside world.
Career
Never forgive, never forget
In the early years, Xydexx spent most of his time on alt.fan.furry, making valuable contributions to the debate there, when the furry fandom was more innocent and esoteric. It was in his time on Usenet that the famous Xydexx modus operandi was developed, and the slogan by which he lives, "Don't take the Internet too seriously" would first be offered to those who might otherwise take a man who puts his penis in pooltoys seriously.
Xydexx first came to the attention of the Internets at large when his Inflatable Animal Fetish Page was featured on Portal of Evil years ago and he flipped the fuck out to hilarious effect in this PoE thread (and dozens of others). He is still obsessed, almost a decade after that thread, with PoE and its editor Kthor, whose firm, well-packed butt he admires from afar and who he fervently believes hopes is a secret diaper freak.
Xydexx vs. Goons
Back in January 2005, Xydexx hilariously suggested that those horrid Something Awful Goons be physically chastised to teach them not to mess with the furries in a sequence of inane LiveJournal commentsposted which he promptly deleted when the drugs wore off. Two years after the original lunacy, when everyone had forgotten about it, Xydexx resurrected that ancient thread to inform everyone he had created an absurd "rebuttal" of Squnq's "interpretation" of his deleted posts (or something) and basically suggested that Squnq made all that crazy shit up etcetera etcetera.
Since then, his butthurt has transformed into full-blown paranoia bordering on schizophrenia, in which anyone and everyone appears to be Triggur, another middle-aged furfag who is the subject of one of Xydexx's many psychotic obsessions. Currently, Xydexx is using his gaggle of sockpuppets to make weird and pathetic edits to related ED articles, fooling no one with his use of the standard Xydexx catchphrase, "taking the Internet too seriously." One would be tempted to say that this was when the helium finally took over Xydexx's brain and he finally lost his mind, but Xydexx has been fucking balloons for so long that it's hard to decide when, exactly, he crossed the line from being a comically long-term lolcow to just being another Internet psycho.
Goodbye, cruel Interweb
Xydexx closed down his Livejournal in March 2007 and set up under a new name in order to (or so he claimed) escape the "cyberstalking" and "harassment" he had been subjected to online. Immense lulz were caused when he revealed in a friends-only LJ comment that it had supposedly been furries-in-denial CrushYiffDestroy who had been "cyberstalking" and "harassing" him all this time, and (OMG) confronting him at conventions and making plans to show up on his doorstep. However, Xydexx showed those intolerant antifurs what was what by posting their leader's RL name and address and revealing his pedoriffic tendencies in a call for vigilante furry action, neatly illustrating his saying that "Asshats can dish it out, but can't take it.". CYD recently vanished off the web, but naturally this occurrence is purely conincidental - or is it!?
Internet Obsessions of the New Decade
- In early 2010 X turned his bile on fellow furry GreenReaper, irate that his furry news site wasn't toeing the official Xydexx line, making bizarre blog posts and trolling comment threads on Flayrah. Following standard Squeakypony operating procedure, he quickly deleted the blog posts after attracting everyone's attention so that he could deny everything and go into a snit about people obsessing over him. To this day he's still being a colossal dick on WikiFur!
- X also has a strange obsession with Kindrift, leading light of Vivisector as witnessed by this blog post, this torrent of WTF, and this bizarre page (which will probably be deleted in short order). This being the topsy-turvy, through-the-looking-glass world of Xydexx, his blog post about Kindrift carries the title "Kindrift's Obsession With Xydexx".
- X's latest crusade is against a 15-year-old girl. No, I kid you not. He's all up in arms against young furry and occasional ED editor Equivamp for daring to make a couple edits to this page. In fact, he's so God damned irate he's made a
blog post (UPDATE! Edited with NEW AND IMPROVED LULZ!)(Six now, and he's talked about her on his Twitter feed, as well as elsewhere on a now-deleted webpage)LOL BALEETED where he babbles about her being a Burned Fur, how she has mental issues, and even theorizes that she probably isn't even a teenager or female. He also reads her LiveJournal, but as she warned him not to confront her there, he uses his own blog to respond to her. A white knight for Equivamp appeared, and the psychotic unicorn tracked their location, causing the police to be called on him. He has also made a post--despite both apparently disappearing--that seems to insinuate threats to the adolescent.
What Xydexx Does Outside
At least 100 years ago, Xydexx allegedly stole an 18 foot inflatable reindeer from a local mall in Northern Virginia, where he lives. He then posted a video of the thing blown up in his bedroom. It was baleeted shortly thereafter.
Modus Operandi
Xydexx likes to talk a great deal about what an elite online mass debater he is, and how goons and trolls run screaming from the blinding lights of justice and clarity that are his posts. A brief analysis of his opus reveals the following pattern:
- Accuse opponent(s) of being unfunny.
- Support this point by making dozens of largely interchangeable comments.
- Accuse opponent of spending too much time on the Internet.
- Support this point by making dozens of largely interchangeable comments.
- Accuse opponent of taking the Internet too seriously
- Support this point by making dozens of largely interchangeable comments.
- Delete everything.
- Deny everything.
- Claim victory.
Quotes
Previous Quote | Next Quote
External links
- If the horse is Japanese or inflatable, it's probably Xydexx.
- But Xydexx may be a hoax, too.
- his furry fandom page
- Xydexx's Anthrocon profile
- Flayrah
- FurAffinity
- Furspace
- Furspots
- MyFur
- SoFurry
- MindSay
- DevianTART
- JewTube
- Exploring Modern Ruins
- Get on my horse. My horse is amazing.
- WTF
- 'Nother website of his
- Karl Jorgenson
- A story about Macrophilia and inflation
- Twatter feed
- AIM: Xydexx
- Skype: Xydexx
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Xydexx Squeakypony is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
