Les Six

Typical moderator at Justin J. Farr’s Tomb Raider Forums looking for a poster to ban.

Les Six is not, as the name suggests, a disease affecting only female homosexualists, but a term given last Thursday by the game company Eidos to a group of website owners who slavishly supported the Tomb Raider marketing department [1] whilst suppressing all unofficial viewpoints, especially ones involving Nude Raider and buttsecks.

Tomb Raider Number Ones

Les Six were named in the game credits of Tomb Raider: Anniversary, a remake of the remake of the original Tomb Raider game which was re-created by Crystal Dynamics to try and make money with no extra effort.

They are

Kitty Flamingo
Walter "Chris" Pidgeon
NAMBLA [2]
David Icke
Ivana Fukalot
Justin J. Farr (secret identity tlr_online)

The list is of sociological interest as it contains at least one peadophile, two Nazis and five attention whores. In unrelated news, it has been established by science that the use of a middle initial is a well known sign of being gay.

The fall of Les Six

NAMBLA resigned as soon as possible to avoid being associated with such a bunch of upstanding citizens. Walter Pidgeon had his eyes scratched out by Justin J. Farr, the moderator of the Tomb Raider Chronicles forum, who has as a result become Queen of the World and his continual visits to Eidos headquarters in Wimbledon to whine like a pussy about other webmasters beating him to “Tomb Raider Exclusives” is a source of joy to everybody. Tom Wanksuc and Dan Beaver have mildly amusing surnames, whilst Shalamar Imanenov was cremated at Auschwitz. Only Kitty Flamingo is still present in her earthly body delighting the special needs section of the community with her “Lara Croft’s Tales of the Expected”.

Not Les Six

Not to be confused with an article “Les Six” in Wikipedia - “a name, inspired by The Five, given in 1923 by critic Henri Collet in an article titled ‘Les cinq russes, les six français et M. Satie’ (Comoedia, 16 January 1920) to a group of six composers working in Montparnasse whose music is often seen as a reaction against Wagnerism and Impressionism.” Which is quite TL;DR and not of the profoundly artistic historical significance as the fandom of Tomb Raider.

Darth Pigeon, the online avatar of Justin J. Farr - half fascist, half vermin.

In Legal News

tlr_online is suing the Interweb over some serious business as he is a no-nuts Rules Nazi who hides behind his powers in order to silence and ban anybody he doesn't like. He is the epitome of win File:JustinSpeaks.gif [3].

This site is literally untrollable!

A 24 hour guard by Mods implements immediate account deletion and blockage of the IPs of any troll and all their posts are instantly (within about a minute) deleted. This makes Tomb Raider Forums the first ever totally troll proof discussion forum. Unfortunately the constant banning of new members and gradually cutting off of the IPs of the rest of the globe means that TRF's Alexa rating is dropping like a stone and "The Earth's Biggest Tomb Raider Discussion Forum" (self-proclaimed) is not longer in the top 100,000. But at least they are pure and protected from anarchy! Talks are proceeded with China and Australia to pass on this new Total Control Of The Internets (TM) technique.

Not trollable

TRF's Ubergruppenfuhrer (left) sees off all trolls (right) FOR A THOUSAND YEARS!
YOU WILL RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!
Thank God Brittany Murphy died and stopped the rot!!

Ten Little Indians

Ten identity hidden Mods
Acting like Internet Tough Guys
One was demoted or showed a shred of integrity by resigning
And then there were nine
(Edit list as appropriate)

~~Neteru~~,
Paperdoll,
Mr.Burns,
EscondeR,
Ward Dragon,
Apofiss,
~~Mytly~~,
Aussie 500,
~~Gabi~~,
Rivendell

Honorable mentions also go to the Fat Controllers from $queedo$h for their expertise on Championship Manager and how to count the number of Tomb Raider games released (SRLY [4]);

jaywalker
Keir Eidos

“	Originally Posted by jaywalker AGAIN, for the record, TR Underworld was the 8th Tombraider. Tomb Raider / Anniversary (1st story) Tomb Raider II (2nd story) Tomb Raider III (3rd story) Tomb Raider: The Last Revelation (4th story) Tomb Raider Chronicles (5th story) Tomb Raider: The Angel of Darkness (6th story) Tomb Raider: Legend (7th story) Tomb Raider: Underworld (8th story) Unknown (9th story) As have said on many occasions there are many subgames, addons etc that are not included in the official numbers of the main games. TR anniversary as much as in your mind is another game IS still the same story as TR1 therefore doesnt count as a separate title in the TR universe. So any possible upcoming main game featuring a certain Ms Croft would be the 9th story, NOT the 10th.	„

(Too bad he didn't play any of the games and realize that Anniversary has a different story, characters, levels, and gameplay, therefore making it another game. The 8th game. Also known as who gives a fuck.)

Somebody didn't like the this article and sent the Death Star to try and blast it into oblivion ... only to be befuddled by MysteryBot.

File:TRFrage!.jpg

MysteryBot is a mystery

Let's examine the evidence - i.e. the uploaded file "Image: Ostercy.jpg".

"Ostercy" created this page (whomever he/she/it may be) in the year of Our Lord 1853.
The uploaded picture is of a gay character from gay British sci-fi Torchwood, beloved of Britfags.

Therefore the butthurt individual ("OstercyFarker" - cool name) is gay and British and has a hurt butt, as well as being a bit of a moron (delete everything!!! does not work at ED, unlike at Tomb Raider Forums).

Crack in the Armour for January 2009

“	If you want to setup a poll in the forum you can ask. We don't support external petitions, etc. aktrekker, moderator.	„

Classic lulz. One of the unfortunate Tomb Raider Forums posters set up a poll on an external site [5], a move greeted with enthusiasm by the other members. The poster, who has an idea - like the other members of Tomb Raider Forums - that the developers of Tomb Raider pay attention to what is written there, innocently suggested that "if you guys want I can send the results to Jay/Keir" (at $queedo$h). However. Then it was noticed by the "Administration" that there was room for comments on the poll, comments that could not be deleted by the Forum Mods. Oh dear. The slightly sarcastic comments about Tomb Raider Forums started to flood in from the hundreds of banned ex-members. Result - poll's closed.

Gallery

Leaked genuine screenshot from Tomb Raider Underpants. Lara Croft - now with realistic 360 degree revolvable feet. Well worth buying a PS3 to see. Supplied as a public service not because it is remotely interesting or original, but purely to annoy Darth Pigeon and Eidos.
Darth Pigeon, Eidos and Lara Croft have a close relationship. Honest.
Allegedly the only known real life photo of Darth Pigeon and his wife. (Oh, and lucky old Lara Croft, who apparently is the filling in a Pigeon sandwich.)
No words
TRF's new target demographic now all the Tomb Raider fans are leaving. (The newbies love Underpants, however secondhand.)
In the new game (TR53) Lara goes searching for her Mummy. (So that she can get some clean Underpants.)
Some fans have wondered why they cropped Lara on the box artwork for Underpants. ED reveals the ghastly truth.