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Crinklemon
Crinklemon/ShyanneSkye | |
---|---|
Real names | Ryan Palone; Shyanne Garrett |
Nationality | American |
Born | May 5, 1986 |
Residence | New York |
DeviantArt | shyanneskye |
Crinklemon, also known as ShyanneSkye (powerword: Ryan Palone originally, now calls herself Shyanne Garrett), is a 38-year-old self-identified hermaphroditic alien foxtaur baby inflationist with telekenetic powers, her made up genetically retarded headmate's pronouns are hir and shi. She works at Walmart creeping on errybody with sick dabs. When she's not occupied pushing carts at their job, he's busy taking photos of herself wearing shit-filled diapers in the store's family restroom, whilst playing pocket pool. Get ready for a proverbial trip on NASA's "Cock Rocket" after an all you can eat buffet of cheap-ass Chinese pure adrenaline sex juice guaranteed to keep even the oldest of infertile Asian men erect for hours
Much like her made up alien woman-pamper fox-horse gender blender, her name has likely gone through countless transitions and transformations in the past few years, from Shyanne Garrett to Shyanne Skye to Shyanne Ottowell to Stacey Ottowell, etc, etc; the crazy pants crinkle monster goes through names like she goes through diapers. Whether as a result of a desperate need to try and garner attention, or as a means of attempting to cover up her endless Internet fuckups, or simply a product of free basing the baby powder on injectable horse urine hormones; one can only speculate what goes on in the mind of the autistically insane.
Getting To Know Ryan
Transsexual Transition
Ryan's journey on into play-pretend womanhood has been anything but smooth. Much like her bulbous body it's been rife with bloated obstacles, much of which she's openly shared with the rest of the world with effectively zero self-restraint and a total lack of natural inhibitions. Like the pop parenting mother who films every aspect of child birth and then hammers it out onto the Internet like some sick, twisted rendition of Gallagher, Ryan somehow thought it would be a good idea to document, film and photograph her every tumble on through the body mutilation process, much to the abject horror of the Internet at large, most of which had no idea just how disgustingly unnatural said process really is.
Bringing Up Baby Ryan
Ryan could have just been another closet perv, a dumpy lookin dude with a diaper fetish, but unfortunately she fell on into the Tumblr trap where insanity feeds off itself in an openly enabling circle jerk of endless retard level reinforcement. She made friends with a number of other degenerates who immediately started openly encouraging her to treat her bizarre sexual interests as a "lifestyle choice" rather than just some off the wall, weekend weenie wank to work out some weekday worries. This culminated in her taking on a number of pseudo-surrogate "mommies" and "daddies" creating artificial faux families to try and substitute the one she was lacking in the real world.
Of course these "families" are entirely fictional, forged together only to further reinforce each others fetishes and fucked up fantasies. Like a group of alcoholics coming together online to actively encourage each other that they don't really have drinking problems, these "fetish families" focus solely on sucking out what little semblance of normalcy each individual has left. Each one only encouraging the others because they're projecting their own unrealistic desires, deep down believing that if they can make someone else's crazy clown party come true on some level or another then their own insane interests will somehow become justified and judgeless by proxy.
Obviously these reciprocally rotting relationships are doomed to demented failure simply as a result of continually stacking piles of shit on top of one another until it eventually all comes crashing down in one giant avalanche of ass waste. In Ryan's case this culminated in one of her would be mommy figures, also a tranny, to kill themselves after having a rare moment of enlightening lucidity. Ryan of course was so broken up over the whole virtual ordeal that she took the time to draw some fan art of her dead daddy, er-sorry, does "dick equipped effeminate fag" work better? Well, regardless, it took her all of about A DAY to drop it like a load in her Luvs and move right on into the next play-pretend online relationship of self-important circle jerking.
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You can't have an adult baby without crotch shots!
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Is that a penis in your Pamper or are you just happy to be sitting in soiled plastic?
Adventures In Walmart Land
As if being a giant inflated fat fuck of a fruitloop with a giant sack of sick fuck fetishes wasn't bad enough, Ryan constantly looks for new ways she can inflict her deranged insanity on the rest of the world, often under the guise of being progressive and fighting for queer rights! Apparently somewhere along the derailed line the word queer went from meaning "gay" to "lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual" or "LGBT" and then on to "LGBTQRSTFUYOUCRAYNUTBAR" and eventually became so bastardized that even a horse alien adult baby inflation fetishert with multiple headmates falls on into the category of "queer"... instead of, you know, BATSHIT FUCKING INSANE! The inmates really are running the asylum now.
As crazy stupid as she is, the transsexual brain trip decided it would be a great idea to publicly post pictures of herself in her work uniform while actively engaging in said sick fuckery. The culminated in her wearing diapers on the job for sexual gratification while she took unscheduled breaks in the family bathroom where she photographed herself getting her jollies off with jizz packed Pampers.
In other assorted sick stupidity she also went around proudly proclaiming that she was going to start openly wearing her fursuit in public... with a fuckin diaper on over it. Because inflicting your furry fetish on the masses just isn't quite getting the point across that you've got more cuckoos than a clock factory, this corny cartoon of a character decided to step it on up a notch and go full "5150" right on into the public eye. As you might imagine, that didn't go over so well with the diaper shitter community at large who, unlike Mr. Ryan Palone, doesn't have the whole cloak of invisible dignity to wrap themselves up in. This resulted in heated fit throwing between the two sides until our boy Ryan finally conceded to the angry mob of Manpers wearing malcontents.
Her Tweets
Previous Image | Next Image
Her Writing
Ryan has dabbled a bit in writing over the years, more cringe than creative as you might suspect. Her early material largely centers on furry and fat/inflation themes with her later work delving deep into deranged diaper dreams. At one point she created a fake diary, supposedly based on her "inner mind" (headmate), that detailed how she internally retarded back to babyhood. She also wrote and illustrated a children's book which is apparently the biographical account of her first job, in which her mother tried to get her to grow the fuck up. Apparently though it was all downhill afterwards!
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"Milk The Girl", Grab the jergens!
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"Obsession Granted"
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"The Good Die Young", based on a true story.
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"A Little Bundle Of Hope"
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"Fernia", like Furngully... only retarded.
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"Should Have Just Gone To Church"
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He wrote her own Wikifur article...
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Dear Diary... he'll improve at her own pace.
Her Insanity
Ryan isn't simply insane, he's admittedly insane! In numerous journal entries and conversations he's specifically brought up her mental instability, covering a wide variety of issues from body dysmorphic disorder to dissociative identity disorder to hypersensitivity disorder and so on. In reality though he's largely only suffering from munchausen syndrome. Which he uses to invent random psychological problems for herself as a means of excuse to avoid doing whatever he doesn't like.
For example she doesn't like to bath and enjoys simmering in her own stink, but rather than own up to the fact that no one likes a disgusting man-taur-pig simply claims that her inability to bath is caused by her supposed hypersensitivity disorder. Basically whenever he's faced with an obstacle or a dislike, he immediately invents a new psychological problem to excuse herself from dealing with it.
At her core he's simply a gutless coward who is so terminally lazy that he actually fantasizes about being straight up retarded just so she doesn't have to make any decisions for herself. Admittedly mind you, this is no exaggeration, she has literally posted journal entries in which he has fantasized about her own family perceiving and treating her as a mentally retarded individual.
Which obviously there's no easy psychological excuse for wanting, so she takes on the mantle of being an adult baby as the next best thing, believing that she can use it as an excuse for her sordid sloth ridden lifestyle. In the end, Ryan will cling to whatever psychological excuse he can find to justify her exceedingly indolent insanity.
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A conversation with her imaginary friend that became her headmate.
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Can't fathom having to grow the fuck up and take responsibility for herself.
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Reading tranny Japanese jack-off mags gets her all aflutter with fag feels.
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Every excuse he can think of to avoid bathing.
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Ryan gets "a textbook case of the Shingles"
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Ryan pretends he's getting early Alzheimer's.
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Ryan reacts to Trump's triumphant election win.
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Ryan reacts to getting noticed by Kiwi Farms.
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Ryan has an imaginary furry wet dream.
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He lives in her grandma's basement by the by.
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Ryan wishes he was retarded in real life.
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Ryan wishes he was a baby in real life.
Pedophilia Interests
As if everything already covered in this article wasn't bad enough it turns out that Ryan has a penchant for pedophile art...
Galleries
Her Photos
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From normal to nutter in under five years.
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The face of crazy.
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Excellent progress! ;)
Her "Art"
Her Inflation "Art"
"Art" He Paid Actual Money For
Her Videos
Previous Video | Next Video
See Also
- Dave Kelly
- Dcrisisbeta – Crinklemon actually watches this woman
- Deeker
- Donald Trump – Is often seen threatening President Trump on Twitter.
- Infantilism
- Pamperchu
- Personal pronouns
- Transgender
- Wal-Mart
- Zootopia – Frequently photos herself wearing a Judy Hopps badge.
External Links
- Calamity Toddler
- ShyanneSkye
- Shyanne
- Kiwi Farms thread
- Inkbunny
- Weasyl
- SoFurry
- LiveStream
- Wikifur
- Google+
- ADISC.org Profile
- AIM: lilfoxfur
- Yahoo Chat: shyanneskye
- Skype: shyanne-roxas
- Email - [email protected]
Crinklemon is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
Crinklemon is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
Crinklemon is a Good New Article. See the template page for more info. |
Featured article March 31 & April 1, 2017 | ||
Preceded by JonTron |
Crinklemon | Succeeded by Greg Mazujian |