Comedian

A comedian is a narcissistic psychopath who pathologically lies for a living -- much like lawyers, homosexuals, politicians, and homosexual lawyers turned politicians -- but their manipulation of people involves trying to make drunk people laugh to put future victims at ease. They want people to laugh at psychopathy instead of fear it, and also spread their lack of empathy to everyone else. Their primary weapon is lulling people into a sense of complacency, so they are a type of conman. Once they've built up enough laughs by stringing along an audience, they can publicly brag about their actual crimes and everyone thinks they're joking, those jokesters. Rather than flaunting their sick fuckery with letters to the media, they hide in plain sight on stage, making the public laugh at their crimes, always with the thrill that they are getting away with it.

This explains why no comedian has ever been arrested for murder, and even when hundreds of rape victims come forward the perpetrator can still laugh it off onstage ha ha ha. The Joker is the epitome of a comedian, and the role model of all comedians. The heroic death of Heat Legend was intended to shine a light on this monstrous profession, yet comedians still routinely operate with total freedom. No matter what crimes they commit or admit to, comedians can always say "it was just a joke." This is their get out of jail free card.

As a brotherhood of sick fucks (there are no female comedians), comedians will never turn each other into the police, but they will attack each other for coming up with the same lie independently. Females don't fully understand what being a comedian entails, telling the truth about your crimes but nobody believing you, and that is why they fail. All female "comedians" are either unfuckable hambeasts, dykes, ugly victims of child sexual abuse, or just turbo lush attention whores, and all of their "jokes" are required to be about sex and relationships, no exceptions. As IRL trolls, comedians predate trollface by at least 100 years.

Comedians often make ironic jokes and rant about life. Most fail at both. There are two types of comedians: Ones who are actually funny (lolz) and Dane Cook.

Comedy Styles

• Deadpan: This is the boring style of comedy where the actor moves either very slowly or simply doesn't move at all and drones on in a monotonous tone, and expects people to laugh at it instead of snore. Very popular with the British, as it thrusts their traditionally dry humor into the spotlight.

• Slapstick: Aka retard humor, this is where you have a bunch of slaphappy knuckleheads fumbling around, hitting each other, and making ear-raping sounds for comedic effect. The three stooges like to believe they're the crown princes of slapstick comedy, however they were really just clumsy jews.

• Insult comedy: This is arguably the best form of comedy out there, as it enables the comedian to own everyone in sight with satire. The comedian zeroes in on laughable traits about the people around him and attacks them for it, not caring if they get upset about it or not. You might find some of these types at fairs with their heads and arms placed through a wooden plank, where they talk shit to you while you try to peg them with tomatoes and baseballs.

• Standup comedy: As the name implies, this is where a person stands up on stage and unloads a comedy bit in front of a live audience, although fatass comedians have been known to sit down on stools while performing. Most people in the audience will generally laugh at anything intended to be humorous in order to be "a good crowd," and in cases where there's nobody in the house paying attention to them, a laugh track will be used to take their place.

• Black comedy: These are the self-deprecating black comedians who like to poke fun at their own chicken-loving, watermelon-eating, Koolaid-drinking race. They also tend to bring white people into their bit and draw comparisons between whites and blacks and regurgitate played-out stereotypes between the two in order to earn chuckles from the audience. Dave Chapelle drove this type of comedy straight into the ground, and was actually ripping off other black comedians before him such as Richard Pryor with his "white people be like..." bit, and Eddie Murphy with his use of whiteface for his "white news anchor guy" skit.

List of notable and/or notorious comedians

• Adam Sandler^✡
• Al Sharpton
• Amy Schumer^✡
• Andy Kaufman
• Bill Cosby
• Bill Hicks
• Dane Cook
• Dave Chapelle
• Donnie Davies
• Eddie Murphy
• George Carlin
• Jerry Seinfeld^✡
• Jim Gaffigan
• Louis CK
• Michael Richards
• Robin Williams
• Sacha Baron Cohen
• Tom Green
• Zach Braff
• Demetri Martin

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