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John Earnest
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Random loser who shot up the Chabad of Poway Synagogue in San Diego, California, on April 27, 2019, and livestreamed it (the dumb nigger set the stream private so nobody could watch it).
Normally, we'd put the subject's name in bold in the intro, but why bother, honestly? No one will ever remember this guy. The (((media))) sort of yawned and lost interest after day 1 when it turned out the shooter despised Trump, so there was no chance of spinning it into a Trump-bashing opportunity. Israel cashed in a bit by blaming Arabs (see below), but [[|Typical|Jews gonna Jew]]. It barely even sparked any buzz on the old mass shooting meme.
Labelling Earnest a terrorist would be an insult to all those who've sacrificed their lives for the advancement of the art; this cocky 8chan twat couldn't even score past a 60-year-old pensioner minding her own business. He is further proof that Californians really shouldn't get involved in anything firearms-related.
The Impotence of Being Earnest
Earnest joined [[|8chan|8chan]]'s /pol/ and immediately felt right at home. Through a combination of dedication and retardation, he went from being a sad lonely nerd to an angry and badly-informed basement-dweller in just under 18 months.
Inspired by the heroic deeds of Robert Bowers and Brenton Tarrant, Earnest sat himself down and wrote a terrible manifesto full of even worserer shitposting than Tarrant's. And we mean so bad, that you'd prefer Earnest shoot you rather than read it to you. Since Earnest was just an edgy teen with delusions about being the vanguard of a new race war, he decided to pad his manifesto with ludicrously self-aggrandizing statements. The cringiest of these was about how he hoped to be released from prison when ZOG was overthrown, and would then lead fresh sorties against the Enemies of the White Race.
He tried setting fire to a mosque, but hadn't realized that sandniggers sleep inside the goddamned things. So the Muzzies woke up, put the fire out while yawning, and went back to sleep. He boasted in his manifesto about getting away with it, but the sad truth is the Islams probably thought it was some homeless bum's campfire and never realized they'd been attacked at all. This brings us to the Day Of Action itself.
Earnest got tooled up, drove to a local synagogue (which he believed to be ZOG's local branch), and walked in with adrenaline surging through his thin teenage veins like spinach through Popeye. This probably explains why he then sprayed-and-prayed like a hyperactive toddler's first time with bubble-mix, and caused about as much damage. He blew the fingers off a rabbi's hand and took out one (1) whole Jewess. At that point, his rifle jammed and the synagogue's hired muscle finally noticed him and shouted at him loudly, causing Earnest to shit himself and run away.
Apparently, after fleeing the scene, Earnest actually called the cops on himself and was apprehended after surrendering without a struggle. Even Couch Cuck had more fucking dignity than this.
FINAL TALLY: 1.015 deaths (subject to downward revision if the Rabbi's fingers get stitched back on). He didn't even shoot himself out of shame and self-loathing. If this is the alt-right's idea of gaining popularity, then they should find a better PR guy.
Advance publicity
Internet Reaction
Barely any. No one was impressed. On 8chan, an FBI agent feebly tried to blame the whole thing on Putin, but couldn't drum up much interest. Earnest does however manage to claw back one six-millionth of a point for cred, because he made PewDiePie✡ feel so butthurt about the "Subscribe" meme, that the Pied Piper of Sweden made a sadface video about disowning the whole thing (because that tactic worked so incredibly well when Matt Furie killed off Pepe.)
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("international antisemitism") (doesn't contradict Israeli narrative) (Hell, why not? They'll soon be dead anyway) |
Moral of the story: "Never let a good crisis go to waste!"✡
Gallery of epic failure
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Earliest sighting
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Is that you, dad?
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Dem teefs!
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Dat hair!
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Dat scowl!
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Dose shorts!
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Dem fwiends!
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Surely he knows that Jews did WTC, right?
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This is why there will always be another John Earnest
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John_earnest_synagogue_shooter_chopin_fantasie_piano.mp4 His musical talent far exceeds his knack for mass shootings. Chopin is rolling in his grave. |
Class Loadout
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| Kill count: | 1/20 ''(3 injured) - Even unarmed kikes were a challenge for this fag |
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| Accuracy: | 0/20 ''Hit or Miss, I guess you never miss, huh? |
| Style: | 0/20 'BAWWWW manifesto, typical 4cuck's /pol/ user' |
| Butthurt: | 1/20 'The usual "false flag" bawwing in 4chan, caused lulz for jews' |
| Bonus: | 10/20 'Autist with rage' |
Wanted Level:
___________________
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___________________
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Mall Cop
External Links
(archive) - Fagbook account
- (archive) - Gay manifesto
- "Saint Chad Earnest pleads not guilty" - pol/ thread, May 1st-6th, 2019
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