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Breaking Up
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When a relationship isn't going well is totally fucked up and physical and verbal abuse replaced the good old anal sex, one of the people decides to get rid of the other one. Break ups are a huge source of drama and lulz OTI. 16 year old girls everywhere tell people how they are dumped because they refused to have sex with their boyfriends on the first date and how nobody else will never ever love them. If you are lucky enough, you can score some rebound, but your basement dwlling lifestyle is unlikely to allow it.
OL Break-ups
Breaking up online does not always mean leaving a relationship between only two people, it often means leaving the community and / or wiki you have come to know and love, but have sadly discovered the feeling isn't mutual. OL break up often involve wikibreaks followed by wikicide followed by a mention on Mydeathspace.
Ways to Prevent the Break Up
- Chain the bitch to the bedrail
- Keep them gagged, tied, and drugged
- Kill them and keep the parts you loved the most in the fridge
- Make them your love zombie, acid and power drill needed
- Tell your partner they knocked your fat ass up
- Takes planning ahead. Cheat on them with an AIDS infected prostitute and/or share needles. 9 months later lie about it and accuse them of giving you AIDS first. Keep them there with you out of guilt.
- Impress her with your profession of undying love for the stupid cunt on youtube in an anniversary video
- Watch this
video for a better understanding.
Ways to Break Up
- Text message - Favorite of teenagers and pussies everywhere!
Just say itYou don't have the balls- email - Satisfied customers since the 1980s
- Domestic Violence
- Tell your partner you have herpes
- Cheat on them with an AIDS infected prostitute and/or share needles.
- Get 14 new girlfriends
- Disconnection - Scientology's genius way of breaking up with anyone in your life -from your family to your wife/husband and kids.
- Ignore your partner until they break up with you. May take longer, but will produce much drama
- Shoot your partner in the fucking face, then dump the body into a lake ala Scott Peterson
- Marry another woman without her knowledge.
- Invite her to your house so that you can talk about it.
Excuses
- I just think we should see other people.
- I just need my space.
- You just don't understand me.
- I don't know who you are any more.
- It's not you, it´s me
- You've changed.
- I've changed.
- "If you really loved me, you would marry me."
- I love the internet moar than you.
- I'm gay.
- You got fat.
- "I don't wanna unmarry my wife yet"
- I've been seeing someone else.
- I deserve more / You don't deserve me.
- I get jealous every time I see your ex fucking you.
- You fucked my best friend when we are in an open relationship.
- I love you as a friend.
- I love you in the way I love Jesus
- You have a TINY COCK
- I have AIDS
- 4Chan's b cares about me more than you
Benefits of Breaking Up
There are many benefits to breaking up. For one thing, you never have to hear the bitch whine and nag you. Not only that, there are many things you can do to her now that you know you can't fuck her. Try jacking it into a mayo jar, making her a sammich and watching her eat it. Bitch wouldn't swallow before, make her do it now! Also, you know that hot friend of hers? You can feel free to tap that now! Also, if you've got any pictures of your ex (especially nudes), post them all over 4chan, along with her cell number and home address. Sit back and laugh.
What to do if You're Broken Up With
When you are the one who is broken up with, you're the one who can really enjoy it! There are many ways to get back at your ex for breaking your heart.
- Write about it in your LiveJournal, FurAffinity, or Deviantart journal
- Post your ex's dox on b
- Threaten pseudocide
- Delete Fucking Everything, Blame fucking everyone.
- Change your relationship status to "single" on Facebook.
- Murder your ex
- Columbine
- Masturbate
- Enjoy the silence
- Make videos of you burning your ex's stuff, and slap it up on youtube
- Call all your old playmates.
- Enjoy the loneliness you are going to experience for the rest of your pathetic life
- Go to a strip club and have a blast.
Of course, the best solution is to kill yourself. After you have gotten your revenge, you will soon realize that the reason she broke up with you is because you a a worthless sack of shit, who will never be a suitable enough partner for anyone. But you're probably too much of a pussy to off yourself anyways.
What to do with a One Night Stand
See Also
- Girlfriend
- Boyfriend
- Divorce
- Gay Drama 2006
- You're Fired
- Done with ED
- Rachel Marsden
- 16 year old girl
- Iron Man Numbers
- hugbox
External Links
- 6 ways to break up
- A guide to text message breaking up
- Link to torrent of Seinfeld episode "The Frogger" Best breakup scene evar.
- LJ Break Up Community
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Breaking Up is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
