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Dying alone: Difference between revisions

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Revision as of 01:55, 25 August 2011

Gay, elderly and alone. (In New York.)
This Azn will die alone.
File:Ufukmee.jpg
This is you.

The journey of dying alone is not unlike the Noble Eight-Fold Path of Buddhism. One must discipline the body and mind in preparation for alienating everyone who has ever loved or cared for you (if there ever was anyone). The first step in this journey is often a self diagnosis of Assperger's or Antisocial Personality Disorder (sociopath). Dying alone is an endeavor which takes a lifetime of dedication.


Dying Alone Checklist

OSHA-required warning sign reveals ugly truth.
  • You're black person.
  • You hate your family and they don't understand why. You pretty much deserve to die alone because of this you selfish bastard.
  • You hate all your ex-girlfriends/boyfriends even though they want to "like" you. lol like you've ever had one.
  • You have no relationship with your neighbors.(who will only notice/report you because of the stench of decaying flesh).
  • You despise humanity and prefer the company of yourself, cats and 'people' you have never met and probably never will.
  • You don't have a job. --> Ergo you don't have much money in the bank (less than zero). You don't have a car. You have little content in your wallet (three worn receipts from McDonald's). When/if you wear pants, they're jizz and urine-stained khakis. You're the all-singing (WHEN I WAS), all-dancing (DDR) crap of the world and it's your duty to refuse to participate in the status quo.
  • Every Friday night, you dress in Vietnam War era camo, load your guns, take Morphine, drink Thai whiskey, and watch Apocalypse Now Redux on DVD at full volume in the dark.
  • You maxed out all your credit cards on purely selfish pursuits like p0rn, Farmville coins, Runescape, fast food and whiskey. Why bother wasting other people's money on charity when you can spend it all on yourself?
  • You're waiting for your Edward Cullen.

The only way to prevent this is to reverse everything said above.

Those Who Have Died Alone Before Us

Owning one of these guarantees that you will be dying happily alone.
Owning one of these guarantees that you're gay, and will be dying alone.
Owning one of these guarantees you're a demented dogfucker and will be dying alone.

People with the Noble Aspiration of Dying Alone

BAWWWWW,I have no friends, noone is at my party and Im dying alone. roflpwnd

People Who Deserve To Die Alone

If you make/own one one these,you are a weeaboo digifaggot who will die alone.

See Also

External Links

Dying alone is part of a series on

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Dying alone is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Featured article February 14, 2009
Preceded by
Last Thursday
Dying alone Succeeded by
So i herd u liek mudkip