Hufflepuff

Hufflepuff

Founder	Helga Hufflepuff
House Colors	Black & Yellow
House Animal	Badger
House Element	Earth
Head of House	Pomona Sprout
House Motto	"HERP DERP."
Traits	Dedication • Hard work Fair play • Patience Kindness • Tolerance Unafraid of toil Social awkwardness Being TRUE and HONEST

In the fictional world of Harry Potter, magically gifted youngsters upon visiting Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for the first time put on an enchanted hat with a lisping faggy voice that sounds like he's been mongling like seventy dicks daily for the past seventy-five years, that then neatly categorizes them into one of four houses depending on ability and racial purity.

Courageous and heroic wizards likely to become main characters in overrated fantasy books find their way into Gryffindor. Sly, darkly inclined wizards are put in Slytherin. Scholarly, creative and eccentric types are lunajacked into Ravenclaw.

The fourth house, Hufflepuff, exists primarily as a dumping ground for the remedial, unattractive and those with special needs and is where all the losers, aspies and fatties end up. Being sorted into Hufflepuff is the magical equivalent of having the word 'Fail' stamped on your head in permanent ink and is a convenient way of telling all the teachers at Hogwarts not to really bother trying with you, because you'll never amount to anything.

Nobody wants to get sorted into Hufflepuff and if you do, the best thing you could do would be to immediately an hero. Seriously, the first spell you cast should be the Joker's magic pencil trick on your own wand or something.

	“	The sorting hat put me in Hufflepuff :( I have never been so humiliated in all my life. Hufflepuff. I am surrounded by fuggos and retards. I want nothing more than to be in Ravenclaw or Gryffindor, even Slytherin would be a step up. Is there any way I can be resorted?	„
	—New Hufflepuff student

	“	Now I love Hufflepuff. Who cares if we’re always in the last place? Who cares if we’re not doing as great as the other houses? It doesn’t really matter to us. Because we are Hufflepuffs, what’s important to us is that we don’t hurt other people and we do what is good for all. We will always protect our friends and loved ones. We never boast ourselves about the things we’ve done. We are trustworthy and loyal, and we are what you call TRUE FRIENDS.	„
	—Future lolcow.

	“	My oldest child (my daughter, Jessica) said something very profound to me, not very many days ago, actually, she said to me - and she, by the way, was not sorted into Hufflepuff House - but, she said to me, 'I think we should all want to be Hufflepuffs.' I can only say to you, that I would not be AT ALL disappointed to be sorted into Hufflepuff House.	„
	—J.K. Rowling on Hufflepuff. But of course, she would say that, because she's a Gryffindor. It's alright for her.

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Badger Pride

Sorted This Way by The Hufflesluts

Hufflepuff Facts

Truth.

• Hufflepuff's house animal is a badger. This is a lot less cool than it sounds.
• Hufflepuff was founded by some fat kraut bitch.
• 98% of all Hufflepuffs are either in a huff or puffs.
• Hufflepuffs are good at finding things. Sadly, this does not include their lunch money after they have been rolled for it by Slytherins or their teeth, after they've been knocked out by Gryffindors.
• Unlike other houses, Hufflepuffs do not have any active or vocal rivalry with any other house. This is because they rightly cringe and cower in the presence of their betters.
• Wearing Hufflepuff colors makes you look like a bee's ass.
• Hufflepuff has produced the fewest dark wizards of any house. This is because they are racist.
• Hufflepuff has produced the highest number of ragequitters of any house.
• According to legend, the first wizard that mastered the art of counting to potato was a Hufflepuff.
• The Hufflepuff's favored form of magic is pastamancy, the art of dropping one's spaghetti.
• Hufflepuff's common room is in Hogwarts' basement, making them literal basement dwellers.
• Popular Hufflepuff activities include quidditch, feasting and wishing they were in another house.

Gallery

Ten points from Hufflepuff! About missing Pics

• 
• 
  The four proud houses of Hogwarts.
• 
  In the wizarding world, this is an awful implied insult.
• 
• 
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  Hipsterpuff.
• 
  Translation: You are a massive fucking pussy.
• 
  Yo dawg, we heard you like hats so we put a hat on a hat so you can wear a hat while wearing a hat.
• 

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• 
  Contrary to what this image would have you believe, Hufflepuffs do not have swag.
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  Honey badger ought to.
• 
  Moar liek J.K. Trolling, amirite?
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  Helga Hufflepuff. Hotter than your mom.
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  Your first day at wizard school.
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  Hufflepuffs even fail at making Keep Calm and Carry On posters.
• 
• 
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  Bad Luck Brian is, of course, a Hufflepuff.
• 
  Good Guy Greg is in Hufflepuff voluntarily.
• 
  When shitty fantasy novels for children and shitty fantasy novels for adults collide.
• 
  Wearing this at Hogwarts is a surefire way to ensure that your virginity remains intact until you graduate.
• 
  Even in their power fantasies, Hufflepuffs are still faggots.
• 
• 
  Emphasis on the 'puff'

Famous Hufflepuffs

Yeah, sounds about right.

• Helga Hufflepuff
• The Fat Friar
• Pomona Sprout
• Edward Cullen
• Nymphadora Tonks
• Stephen Fry
• NewPhoenixFilms
• Good Guy Greg
• Antoine Dodson
• Heidi Crowter
• You

See Also

• Harry Potter
• Pottermore
• Derp
• Fail
• Tumblr - Where hordes of Hufflepuffs roam unchecked.
• You Win The Prize

Hufflepuff is part of a series on Tumblr. [Become triggeredEducate yourself]

Tumblrfags 16-year-old girls • Anonymous Asexual • Bronies • Cash Master • Columbiners • Cumberbitches • Potterheads • Hipsters • Homestucks • I dislike Cis People • Feminists • FanFic Critic • Genderfreaks • Leelah Alcorn • Lifting Blogs • Lil Miss Jay • MechaShockwave • Scene kids • Social Justice Warriors • Sophie Labelle • Special Snowflakes • Tom Preston • Tumbears • Vade • Racistsgettingfired Tumblr Memes Assigned Male • Ayy lmao • Cheeky Nando's • Doge • Everyday Sexism Project • Gen Zed • Hufflepuff • It was my privilege • Luigi's Death Stare • Social Justice Sally • Tumblr Panels • What is Air Tumblr Drama 2012 GNAA Tumblr Ruin • Ableism • Dashcon • Dear Cis People • Derpy Hooves • Fake Schizophrenia • Independence Day Invasion • Josh Macedo • Nerdy Fandom Gateway Theory • Operation Overlord • Patriarchy • Personal Pronouns • Princess Molestia • SJWiki • The Great /pol/ Social Justice Raid of 2013 • Valentine's Day Massacre

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Featured article February 16 and 17, 2013
Preceded by Love	Hufflepuff	Succeeded by Incumbent