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Genshin Impact: Difference between revisions
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{{spoiler|YOUR TWIN IS ACTUALLY THE LEADER OF THE FATUI, PAIMON IS SECRETLY [[Soup|EMERGENCY FOOD]], THE GODS ARE REBELLING AGAINST CELESTIA, AND FATUI ARE ACTUALLY THE [[Omg|GOOD GUYS]]!!!1!!1!}} | {{spoiler|YOUR TWIN IS ACTUALLY THE LEADER OF THE FATUI, PAIMON IS SECRETLY [[Soup|EMERGENCY FOOD]], THE GODS ARE REBELLING AGAINST CELESTIA, AND FATUI ARE ACTUALLY THE [[Omg|GOOD GUYS]]!!!1!!1!}} | ||
Revision as of 22:35, 2 April 2022
Genshin Impact is a generic JRPG shat out by Chinks for PC, Gaystation, and mobile in the same year they caused Corona. The gameplay is your average RPG fodder, consisting of running around aimlessly, bullying innocent bystanders into submission, and skipping 99% of the amazing dialogue. No wonder why this game got so many awards. The target audience are well-adjusted members of society and financially resposible adults like Tectone✡ that want to spend their own money on the game to gamble for fictional characters.
Mihoyo Hoyoverse, the creator of this shitshow, gained millions of dollars upon release, however the game is still exacly the same it's always been with nothing to do. However, the most fun part about the game is its brainwashed fanbase full of screeching, toxic, room temperature IQ, LGBTQ supporting faggots that defend their perfect fictional waifus/husbandos from the evil forces of Twatter and YouTube.
Plot
You and your twin are travelling through worlds, until some random god defeats you both and sends you into a 500 year coma. Upon waking, you fish out your annoying tutorial companion called Navi Paimon that's secretly a parrot because she literally repeats every story point 99 times for you as if you were a brainless ape. You then look for your twin, defeating some slimes and local enemies on your way, and learn that the land of Teyvat you're in needs your help to stop Fatui from stealing everyone's Gnosises.
After that, you cross the 7 continents of Teyvat, getting raped by tentacle monsters and murdering innocent bystanders.
Gameplay
If you haven't already completed all story and exploration yet, all you do is participate in events - farming, photography, other useless nonsense, and maybe some fighting if you're lucky enough.
Characters
- Aether (Traveler) - The main protagonist. Talks about as little as that weird silent guy at your school. Can somehow use all elements despite lacking a vision, but just like the player, he still fails at actually being useful at anything.
- Lumine (Traveler) - The twin you're trying to find/save so you can continue where you last left off. However, if you're a degenerate that only chooses to play as female characters in games, you can also play as her instead.
- Paimon - A rip-off of annoying fairy from The Legend of Zelda but as an annoying Loli. She gets an erection every time she sees food and repeats the same points over and over to hammer in what was just said 6 seconds ago. Her only benefit is being emergency rations in case you ever get stranded on an island like Tom Hanks.
- Venti - The God of Freedom, also known as that weird bard that spends every penny on getting crunk at the tavern every night after spreading Justin Bieber music across the city. His special power is spreading his buttcheeks so wide that his anus creates a black hole that sucks in everything that fits inside.
- Zhongli - The God of Contracts, the sugar daddy every female wants to be stepped on. His daily routine consists of doing absolutely fucking nothing (or he's secretly slaying pussy of every female, including ur mom). He is also literally immortal. His special power is paralyzing you by slapping his trademark giant meatballs across your face.
- Raiden Shogun - The God of Eternity. A hardcore Hikikomori that can't even cook her own food. She resides in her own schizo fantasyland. Like the audience of this game, she hasn't touched grass for thousands of years. Her special power is pulling a sword out from between her tits before turning Super Saiyan and then aimlessly swinging it around like Kirito from Sword Art Online.
Fanbase
The worst example of what a massive group of people with mental disabilities looks like.
See also
- Down Syndrome: The disease that everyone in this fanbase suffers
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