Fat Man

“	FUCK THE USA! The USA sucks!	„
—Fat Man, after receiving his welfare check

File:MakeMyDay2.jpg

FAT MAN (aka File:Gerald.jpg aka The Night Owl aka Teddy Bear) born September 30, 1951 is a FAT FETISHIST, SPORTS HATING, TRACING, JEW, who has caused much butthurt to /sp/artans and sportsfags alike. While many believe he may be in fact a troll, this would make him one of the most successful sleeper trolls in history having been on the interwebs since at least 1996.

While some look up to him for his ability to cause so much RAAAAAAGE others wish this fat fuck would stop living off a "measly $650 a month" of Guvment Monies (which he has stated is SSI and Disability) and go exercise and play some sports. He also is a master of MS Paint & Web Design which he displays all over the web.

About Fat Man

My name is Gerald, I'm 55 years old, 5 ft 6 in and I presently weigh about 400 pounds. Yeah, I'm a fat person, but I'm perfectly happy and contented being a fat person. I live in El Paso Texas. I love working with computers and I have even built my own computer. I also enjoy doing oil paintings, listening to classical music, and rock, and I plan to get back to building radio controlled model planes again as I had done years ago. I'm in the process of converting to Judaism, and I go to Temple Mount Sinai, a Reform Synagogue, every Saturday on Shabbot for Torah Studies and Religious Services. Although I'm the fattest person in my congregation, everybody there accepts me just as I am. I don't know how to speak Hebrew yet, but I'm able to sing the songs in Hebrew during the Religious Services. I've been told that I an excellent singing voice, that I sound like a fat little Opera singer. As a fat person, I'm into the Size Acceptance movement, and I subscribe to the NAAFA Newsletter for the National Association for Fat Acceptance, and also many other Size Acceptance web sites on the Internet.

• Age: 58
• Gender: Male
• Astrological Sign: Libra
• Zodiac Year: Rabbit

When he came to the attention of the chans

One day the /sp/artans at 4chan discovered a website entirely devoted to discussing why sports are responsible for everything that is wrong in society; www.sportssuck.org. They proceeded to infiltrate their forums and troll for great justice. One member in Particular really rubbed the /sp/artans the wrong way, that man was FAT MAN at first the trolls thought he might be the greatest troll of all time but they quickly realized he was not. They proceeded to get doc's, and much win and lulz were had.

QUOTES

Shit Was So Cash

File:Trolled Hard.jpg

“   That was back in 1969 when I was 17 years old. Soon afterward I had an emotional and mental breakdown and spent three weeks in a mental hospital where patients were often beaten including myself and one night I was raped by an older man.   „     —Fat Man on getting raped     “   Actually, what is really going to happen in the future is that an asteroid is going to collide with the earth, raising billions of tons of dust into the upper atmosphere blocking out the sun for about 7 years. There will be a long cold winter and a world wide famine, but all the thin people will be the first to die off, followed by the strong muscular people. But all of us fatties will survive. The fatter we are, the better our chances of survival, because we will have enough fat stored on our bodies to see us through the famine. Naturally, of course, we will lose weight, and after the dust clears and the sun is visible again, we will emerge from our shelters, having lost weight, our skin hanging in great big folds, but we will be alive.   „     —(CONTINUED TO NEXT QUOTE)     “   Then we will began planting crops again, and eating fish from the rivers and lakes while waiting for the first harvest, and then we will all fatten up again, and become even fatter than before, because that always happens to us fat people. Every time we lose weight, we always gain back more than we lost. So we fatties will survive, but all of our thin friends and relatives will be gone, and naturally, I will feel sad, and morn the loss of my thin friends. And, you can have my cell phone because it won't be of any use to me. It will take a couple of decades to get the power back up again.   „     —Fat Man on how fat people are better fit for survival     “   I once saw Schindler's List at a movie theater when I was living in Las Cruces New Mexico. During the movie, I actually broke down and cried like a big fat baby! Some of the other viewers in the audience told me to shut the fuck up! After the movie was over, I rode my motorcycle back home, and I was crying all the way home. Fortunately I had a tinted face visor on my helmet so nobody could see the tears streaming down my fat face. When I cam home, I went to my bedroom, laid down on my bed and cried for three hours before I finally dozed off. I don't think I will ever want to watch that movie ever again.   „     —wat     “   I'm fat and sassy! I love to sing and dance and stomp my feet and really rock your world! The only thing I want to hear coming out of an ex-jock monkey-boy's mouth is . . . "Will that be paper or plastic?" Then after that, he can just shut the fuck up! Heah comes da judge! Heah comes da judge! Order in da court 'cuz heah comes da judge!   „     —fat man's sig     “   I'm still getting hit with $89.04 invoices for a subscription to Sports Illustrated ragazine in my name which I did not order. Somebody from 4chan managed to get my home address and subscribed in my name and I'm getting billed for it.   „     —Fat Man on his recent magazine subscription     “   It's like being naked in a football locker room.   „     —Fat Man on being trolled     “   This was back before I got my new power chair, my JAZZY 614 HD, when I was still walking around with my cane. After I had picked up my prescriptions at the Walmart pharmacy, I walked across the street to the bus stop in front of the Don Haskins SPORTS CENTER only to discover that the bus stop benches had been removed and I had to stand like a jack-ass in the hot summer sun to wait for a bus. I have arthritis in both of my knees and both of my ankles, so I was limited in how far I could walk, and now, on that day, I had to stand on my tired feet to wait for a bus instead of sitting down. When I finally got home, my knees and ankles were hurting really bad, and I was all pissed off. So, I called Sun Metro, the city bus system, to complain about the benches being taken away, and they told me that the UTEP Don Haskins SPORTS CENTER had requested that the benches be removed.   „     —(CONTINUED TO NEXT QUOTE)     “   Then I really got pissed, and said "Since when do we let a rape gang run this town!?!" and she asked, what I had meant by "rape gang". So I said "You know! the UTEP Minors, just like the Dallas Cowboys, or the Houston Oilers, or the Pittsburgh Steelers, you know. All the football teams, they're all rape gangs! Has it ever occurred to them at Don Haskins that some people are elderly or physically disabled and would like to sit down while waiting for a bus?", and then I demanded that Sun Metro put the benches back, and she explained that Sun Metro is not in charge of the benches that I would have to take it up with UTEP or the Don Haskins SPORTS CENTER. Then I was really pissed off and said "So! We let a SPORTS CENTER and a bunch of stupid jocks run this town. I have no use for jocks! As far as I'm concerned, they should all be ground up and made into lunch meat to feed the homeless!" and then . . . . . . . . I said "Hey boys and girls! If you all liked Columbine, then your all really gonna love Columbine 2!!!" and then I hung up.   „     —Fat Man, threatening to murder innocent children     “   This is a really fucked up world we live in. A football player can rape someone and goes unpunished. But open up your mouth and say how much you hate football players, and then, you become public enemy number one! This really sucks out loud!   „     —fat guy doesn't realize that making threats against kids is illegal     “   OK everybody, I know I had posted this before, but I had to bring this up again! ATTENTION ALL SPORTS MORONS!!! Science is far more important than sports! One day, science just might save the human race from mass extinction. There is an asteroid coming! Fortunately, it will not hit the earth. Astronomers have been tracking it very carefully, and also watching out for more approaching asteroids. All over the world amateur astronomers are also sweeping the night sky searching for asteroids. There is always the possibility that an asteroid might collide with the earth. It's not a question of IF, but a question of WHEN!   „     —(CONTINUED TO NEXT QUOTE)     “   If we can spot such an asteroid soon enough, we can send out a space probe to intercept it and deflect its course so that it will miss the earth entirely. So, having amateur astronomers everywhere scanning the skis, this would serve as an early warning system, which just might one day save our collective ass! In fact, an asteroid is due to arrive soon and it will just barely miss the earth by 18,000 and that is damn close!   „     —Fat man freaking out over the end of the world     “   Hey there Girlvinyl!!! I hope you're reading this! I know that either you or someone working for you is spying on us. So, you can add this to your stinking web page! I hope you're getting all of this, you cheap little whoring, cheer-leading, jersey-chasing, jock-cock-sucking little bimbo slut!!! GO TO HELL, YOU JEZEBEL!!!   „     — Fat Man, not helping his appeal to remove this article.     “   I don't give a damn about her web site content. She's free to say anything she likes. I'm use to being insulted and name calling. That is no big fucking deal. The only thing I want to see removed from her web page is my phone number and and my home address where I live. The rest of the stuff, she can keep, I don't give a damn!   „     — Fat Man, not realizing the concept of a wiki.     “   No GirlVinyl you little two-bit whore! There were no death threat over the phone or in my E-mails. I consider the posting of my home address as a threat to my safety. I don't want any of you scum-bag dregs of society to know where I live. Also, I'm going to report your web page to the FBI and tell then that I felt threatened by my home address being posted on your shitty little web page. It really sucks that I have to be up-rooted from my home because the USA has become another third world Banana Republic under a Fascist Nazi Sport Dictatorship.   „     —(CONTINUED TO NEXT QUOTE)     “   Over a year ago, a residential area in the Dallas Fort Worth area was bulldozed to make room for a new sports arena and a parking lot. Yes, the families were paid for their homes so they could move elsewhere, but they were paid less than the initial value of their homes and money invested by some of the residents who had made improvements in their properties. One of the forum members said that in his high school they had fired two math teachers so they could hire another athletic coach. The USA sucks! This country cares more about sports than it does about families or education. So, go fuck yourself GirlVinyl you cheap little whore. I hope you're really happy with yourself. I bet your mother barks!!!   „     — Fat Man making more mistakes     “   On the web site, owned by Girlviny she copied and pasted one of my forum posts from last summer... (see fat man's Columbine quote) And then she quotes another one of my more recent forum posts.   „     —Fat Man still thinking a wiki is written all by one person     “   As you all know, I love being asexual and impotent. I love being unable to get it up!   „     — Fat Man still making nonsense     “   When I was taking a shower, while washing my private parts, which is very difficult because I have to lift up on my belly, well, it feels like my penis has shrunken even more, and I estimate that it's now only 1 inch long and I can't even feel my testicles anymore because they have shrunken some more.   „     — Fat Man on his disappearing cock     “   I've been searching the Internet, looking for a large pair of pink ruffled under-panties with a 64 inch waistband to wear under my clothes, since I've been becoming more gentle, docile, and sissified.   „     — Fat Man on the eternal struggle of finding panties that fit Previous Quote | Next Quote

SportsSuck Reading material

Fat man getting trolled repeatedly:

• Entire forum including Fat Guy trolled by simple copypasta Shit Was So Cash
• Fat Man realizing the forum is being invaded by trolls
• Fat Man falling hook line and sinker for a good troll
• Fat Man making fun of fat football players?
• Fat Man trolled by fake black man
• Fat Man trolled by fake psychologist
• Fat Man trolls himself about ED

In conclusion, you can troll Fat Man just by posting, and he will write essays in response. Registration is open, thus it's open season on SportsSuck. RAID THAT SHIT MOTHER FUCKERS

“	Well there may be others from the 4chan board or other places coming along yet. But perhaps acting all suspicious gives them the impression they have "trolled" me successfully. However, it is fun to have the odd conspiracy on here! I saw a bit on the 4chan thread that said even though registration had been reopened on here, new accounts would not be validated. A bit of a cruel ploy to get their hopes up and then crush them, I see? Bravo! Always do that to your enemies!	„
— i_like_1981 being a faggot as usual

Copy Pasta

As you have noticed by my photo at the top of the page, I'm a fat man, hence the name of my web site, The Fat Man's Emporium, I'm into the Size Acceptance movement for civil rights for us larger people. I'm perfectly contented being a large person. I actually like being a much larger person. So, please, no E-mails telling me to lose weight. OK? The photo above was taken back in April 2007 when I weighed about 370 pounds. I'm now almost 400 pounds, and I'm only 5 feet 6 inches in height.

One of my favorite rock singers is Meat Loaf, another large guy. I remember watching him on TV when he came out on stage singing Like A Bat Out Of Hell. He looked truly awesome, like a big fat Opera singer.

---

I want to be so massive obese that when I'm out walking, I need a couple of people following close behind me with folding chairs, so after taking about 20 to 30 steps, I have to have them slide the chairs under me so I can sit down for a few minutes to catch my breath.

To me, that is the most pleasant sensation ever. I love being soft, flabby, and weak, and feeling like my knees are going to buckle under my massive weight pressing down on my legs. I love feeling really heavy on my knees and my feet.

And I love, being such a fat-ass that I need to use a pair of tongs as a tissue paper holder in order to wipe my own butt, and I love having my lower belly hanging down over my shrunken penis making it physically impossible for me to have an erection or to engage in sex, and I love the sensation of my tiny shrunken penis and shrunken testicles being crushed under the weight of my massive belly. I love being impotent and unable to preform sexually, because to me, sex sounds too much like strenuous exercise, and I prefer to eat and sleep instead.

Also, I would love to become so big and fat that I have to struggle to squeeze my way through doorways in public buildings. Imagine the thrill and the pure joy as I struggle to squeeze my way through the front doorway of an All You Can Eat Buffet, and everyone there staring at me, and some people laughing at me, and some hollering, "Hey! What's the matter fat boy??? Can't get through the door!!!" and huffing and puffing, and breaking out in a sweat as I struggle to get through the door, and then, I make it, and I waddle toward a table to sit down with three chairs under my big fat ass, and I sit there smiling contentedly, patting myself on my huge soft round belly as the waitress take my order and brings my food and setting about 10 plates of food in front of me, and people staring and some looking on with disgust as I proceed to indulge myself to the maximum. If anybody were to make some unkind or insulting remarks, I would simply say that I love to eat, and being too fat to get through doorways doesn't bother me in the least, that I'm just naturally a big over-sized person, and that I am proud of my size.

Fan Fiction

Rex Ryan climbed into Gerald's room and immediately punched him in the face, knocking him out cold. Upon awakening Gerald found his fat body bound and gagged to a chair. The obese Jet's coach was naked, standing in front of him with a big gang green boner and a jar of mayonnaise. "I'm gonna rub you up with this mayo and fuck your ass harder than when you got raped as a kid!" And at that, Rex leaped forward and grabbed Geralds large man-breast. He grabbed with all his might, and rubbed the mayo all over Gerald's skin and began licking it off. Gerald's muffled screams fell flat, and no one came to his help. The mayonnaise aroused Rex more than he'd ever been aroused. It reminded him of how he would masturbate by rubbing ice cream on his nipples and shoving pepperonis up his asshole. He couldn't wait, Rex used the mayonnaise and rubbed it on his dick to lube himself up so he could plunge into Gerald's partially wiped ass. After his cock was all lubed up, Rex plunged in. He thrust in and out in complete ecstasy. The amount of food in the air put Gerald into a trance and he moaned loadly. Rex came almost immediately, but he was by no means done. He pulled out of Gerald's ass, his PENIS dripping mayonnaise and semen. Rex cleaned his dick off with Gerald's tongue. Rex took out a few of the ribs he had ordered from Chili's and shoved them up his ass to stimulate his enormous prostate. Rex then undid Gerald's shirt and began rubbing bacon on Gerald's nipples. After mixing it with some barbecue sauce, he decided he wanted a better look at Gerald. Rex shoved his hand up Gerald's ass. He thrust it in as far as he could and grabbed on to the first organ he could, and then pulled out. He ripped out Gerald's entire small intestine and part of his large. Rex started to giggle and began gobbling it down with some ranch.

---

Hi my name is Gerald St. Germaine, I'm 55 years old, 5 ft 6 in and I presently weigh about 400 pounds (that’s how I got my nick name Fat Man!) Yeah, I'm a fat person, but I'm perfectly happy and contented being a fat person! A lot of people tell me I look like Meat Loaf (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Michael Moore but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking fat bitch like me! I’m a fat bitch but my health is just fine and better than most skinny skeletons. I have pale white skin. I’m also an anti-sports enthusiast, and I sit around and school myself reading amazing books by people called Steven Hawking and Michael Moore). I’m a geek (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly gray shirts and blue shorts because that's all I can fit into. I love KFC and I buy all my food from there. For example today I was eating a Double Down sandwich with extra bacon on it and a 8 piece meal, a large side of mashed potatoes and some macaroni. I was gobbling it down with some gravy, honey mustard sauce, and a special mixture of mayonnaise and mustard I call "special sauce". I was walking outside KFC. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about, because the sun makes me sweat. A lot of jocks stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Gerald!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Rex Ryan!

“What’s up Rex?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my refrigerator and drank some Coke from a bottle I had. My refrigerator was full of food and inside it was a big tub full of Hot Pockets and King Kobra. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant gray t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a different gray shirt, a blue hat, blue shorts and took a to-go bag of Hot Pockets. I then remembered I had to go to the bathroom so I quickly went. It was difficult for myself to wipe that morning so I didn't complete the job, but I don't mind since I kind of like the smell of partially wiped butt!

My friend, 1981 (AN: I_like_1981 dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. He flipped his long waist-length 1980's hair metal band hair with pink streaks and opened his forest-green eyes. He put on his White Snake t-shirt with black short shorts, fishnets and pointy boots. As he was putting on his make-up I ate a frozen pizza.

“OMFG, I saw you talking to Rex Ryan yesterday!” he said excitedly.

“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.

“Do you like Rex?” he asked as we went out of my house and towards the Taco Bell.

“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.

“Yeah right!” he exclaimed. Just then, Rex walked up to me.

“Hi.” he said.

“Hi.” I replied flirtily.

“Guess what.” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, they are opening a Long John Silver'sdown the street.” he told me.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love LJS. It's my favorite fast food, besides KFC.

“Well…. do you want to go with me on the grand opening?” he asked.

I gasped.

LOL DOX

• [1] - Fat Man's email
• [2] - Another Fat Mail
• 9155447990 - His phone number CHANGED
• 1221 E. San Antonio Apt 618, El Paso, TX 79901 - his address

(Subject may change.)

FAT MAN Gallery

The Gallery of Fat About missing Pics

• 
  The Fat Man Himself
• Moar Fat Man
  Moar Fat Man
• Even Moar!
  Even Moar!
• Moar!!!
  Moar!!!
• Moar!!!
  Moar!!!
• MOAR!!!
  MOAR!!!
• 
  DAT ASS
• 
  OH EXPLOITABLE!!!

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• LOL IRONY
  LOL IRONY
• Just for you Ladies
  Just for you Ladies
• 
  How to draw Fat Man
• 
  He even has his own personally designed computer!
• 
  His personal transportation method
• 
  Die soon due to obesity!
• 
  There are many types of fatness
• Fat Jew
  Fat Jew
• 
• 
• 
• 
  Don't mind fatguy, just ripping off other people's work
• 
  A CHALLENGER APPEARS.
• 
  more stealing of artwork
• 
• 
  fat man making fun of his own health risks
• 
• 
• 
• Gonna Get Raped
  Gonna Get Raped
• Gonna Get Raped Part 2
  Gonna Get Raped Part 2
• File:Riot Fatty.jpg
• 
  He's wants to do what?!
• All Your Base
  All Your Base
• More Fat Man Shoops
  More Fat Man Shoops
• Osama Guy
  Osama Guy
• Will Suck Cock For Food
  Will Suck Cock For Food
• Brett Favre!
  Brett Favre!
• File:FatManFacebook1.png
• File:FatManFacebook2.png
• File:FatManFacebook3.png
• File:FatManFacebook4.png
• File:FatManFacebook5.png
• File:FatManFacebook6.png

/sp/ Civil War and Collapse... then Relapse

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Typical /sp/artan moralfag response at a new Fat Man thread

File:O civil war.jpg

Though the majority of /sp/artans found trolling sportssucks to be full of lulz, some began to feel the focused personal attacks on Fat Man were going too far. Some were disgusted by the amount of Fat Man threads and left, while others stuck around to complain and sage (saging on /sp/, lol). Though Fat Man raid threads were already responsible for a large amount of /sp/'s content, cries of "GTFO /b/TARDS YOU'RE RUINING /sp/" continued to flood the board, effectively derailing /sp/, making it almost impossible to discuss anything but Fat Man.

The board was split on whether or not these so called "/b/ tactics" were appropriate when dealing with a sad old man. Moralfags claimed that he didn't deserve this treatment just because he dislikes sports, while the trolls argued that anyone so easily trolled must be further pursued. You have to admit, this is pretty fucking funny. Issues about his overt racism, ignorance and intolerance were also brought up as reasons for the raid, suggesting that he wasn't such an innocent old man after all.

It originally appeared that the Super Bowl rid /sp/ of Fat Man forever, but it proved to be only a momentary distraction, and the trolling continues.

“	I LEAVE /sp/ FOR ONE EVENING AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS FUCK, YOU PEOPLE CAN'T BE TRUSTED WITH ANYTHING	„
— Commissioner Red, solidifying /sp/'s current shit tier status with his presence.

YOU DECIDE: Tin_Heart_Warriors has set up a poll to see how divided /sp/ really is.

Concerned Moralfag Attempts to Smooth Things Over, Hilarity Ensues

File:Sprage.jpg

What /sp/ had turned into

The lollercoaster continues! One moralfag decided that Fat Man had dealt with enough abuse, so he tried to make amends by sending an email:

“	I am a member of 4chan's sports board, and I must let you know: we are not powerful, and we are not really out to get you. What happened was someone found this website (http://www.sportssuck.org) and we thought it was funny to create sports-related threads. Then a group of people from a section on the website, "/b/", thought it would be funny to start harrassing you and some other members (which was not funny at all). Make no mistake, those people are not from the section "/sp/". In fact, most of us think this "raid" is completely stupid now. The reason we actually kept visiting your website and creating "troll' threads was not because we did not like the idea that you guys did not like sports, but some members found it funny that many of you would write very long replies (basically mini-essays) in response. That is the only reason some of us actually stayed, and the only reason we kept posting on your website. The whole entire situation got out of hand when some members from the board "/b/" jumped in and started harassing you. (I noticed a post you made that referenced to a youtube video with "the internet hate machine.") Those people are from /b/, and in fact, have no power at all. That video is over-exaggerated. No one really on this website has the power to do that, and in fact, most people who visit the website are teenagers. PLEASE do not feel like your life is in danger. Actually, this whole entire situation should end soon. Most of the members of the sports board on 4chan think this is just obnoxious that people are still doing this, and have changed the situation to harrassment. Remember, the original intention of us on the sports board was only to post sports-related threads on sportssuck.com to possibly create some anger. And once again, we were just amused that practically 'essays' were written in response (and the 'John' post is completely fake.) The super bowl is tommorow, and all focus will be turned to that on this board. Expect this to end. Most people here are tired of it, and the only people ensuing it are 12 year olds from the "/b/" section. But please, do not feel like your life is in danger. We are not actually out to get you. I don't know who can get the contact information off encyclopedia dramatica, but no one here will actually use it to go visit your house. We should get it off once it becomes possible. (also don't be worried if your picture is used. nothing can actually be done with it) Here is an example of a post (attached), where the standpoint of most of us are now. Those who think this is still funny, we basically want to leave our board. But make no mistake, this harassment was not done because we do not like the idea you guys do not like sports. The harassment is done by immature members of the board "/b/". (and I suggest not to visit that section.) Thanks if you understand	„
— Moralfag, deciding to do the right thing

File:Fatmanattatchedid.JPG

Attachment from Moralfags email that sparked Fat Man's paranoia

Fatman almost accepted the apology, until he noticed that mention was made of his plans to stay with a friend to hide out from anon. Unaware that he revealed this information to an anon spy on facebook, this brought Fat Man to a startling conclusion:

“	Monday, I'm going to call AT&T and have my phone number changed. I'm also going to have them put a trace on my phone to see in my phone has been tapped. I have a DSL sonnection so I can be on line and use the phone simultaneously. Maybe there is some vulnerability in having a DSL connection. I know jocks are not smart enough to pull off this shit. But jock have money, and they can hire somebody to do it for them.	„
—Fat Man, already a contender for sleeper troll of the decade

So, for once in his life, Fat Man bites the hand trying to feed him, and has potentially destroyed any sympathy anon might of had for him.

Overreaction of the century: Fat Man flees for his life

Though anon (apparently) thought he had the upper hand, Fat Man performed an evasive maneuver and got out off dodge.

“	Good evening Girlvinyl you evil little anorexic bimbo slut!!! I know that you're going to come over from your shitty web site at Encyclopedia Dramatica to this forum to check up on my latest topic posts as a guest, even though you can't post here. Well, I no longer reside at the address you have in my contact information. I have moved across town, so the old home address you have is no longer valid. Also, I'm going to get a new phone number in a couple of days, so the phone number you have posted on your sleazy, piece of shit web page, will no longer be valid. I'm staying with a friend until I get my own place. I took my computer with me and he's allowing me to use one of his phone jacks since I have DSL which won't interfere with the phones. That's why I'm still on line. So, I guess your sewer hole of a web page no longer serves any purpose. SUCK ON THAT!	„
— Fat Man, pointlessly uprooting his life because of /sp/

Fat Man is an interesting specimen, in that he generates massive amounts of lulz in response to very little action taken by anon. His delusions that his life may be in danger or safety in jeopardy are completely unfounded, unless you count ancient copypasta and DMX prank phone calls as death threats.

“	Now my life may be in danger!	„
— Fat Man, in fear for his life

“	There were no death threat over the phone or in my E-mails.	„
— Fat Man, later admitting he has no reason to fear for his life

Fat Man continues to demonstrate his complete lack of comprehension when it comes to his dealings with anonymous. Either Fat Man is a god tier master troll, or perhaps the most clueless person on the Internet.

“	So, go fuck yourself GirlVinyl you cheap little whore. I hope you're really happy with yourself. I bet your mother barks!!!	„
— Fat Man, continuing to labor under the delusion that Girlvinyl is responsible for this article

YOU DECIDE: Have we seen the last of Fat Man? Apparently not, lol.

NEW POLL: Fat Man, god tier master troll, or most clueless person on the internet?

Fat Man Discovers ED and BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW's

Typical /sp/artan response to new Fat Man forum posts

Now my life may be in danger!

Last night I got an E-mail (my second one so far) from Ray, or someone claiming to be Ray because the second E-mail address is different from the first.

Anyway, he sent me a link he said that I should check out.

OK, I'm not going to post the link here, but it's sufficient to say the web site is named Encyclopedia Dramatica.

When I went there and was shocked to find that they posted contact information, my E-mail address, my phone number, AND my home address, where I live.

Now, I'm afraid to go out!

Here is what is says about me . . .

READ THIS WIKI PAGE

There's more, but I'm not going to post it here because it contains contact information as to where I live.

You can plainly see the length these low-life gutter-thugs will go to in order to harass anybody who doesn't support our sports obsessed culture.

The web site Encyclopedia Dramatica uses the same format as the legitimate web site Wikipedia but it is the most hate filled web site I have ever seen, and people have even lost their lives because of the shit they post along with the phone numbers and home addresses of the people they attack. I have even heard that some people have committed suicide after there harassing attacks on them.

This is how the sports enforcers operate now in the good ol' USA and around the world.

In the future, it's going to get so bad, people are going to be too damned afraid to merely say they're not interested in sports, and college students might be intimidated to change their majors from science to something that is sports related in order to stay alive.

But they are so moronic that they don't even realize that it is science and technology that makes computers and the Internet possible in the first place, the very tools that they enjoy using to destroy people's lives.

They must think that all of these technological marvels were created by Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy or some stupid shit.

We're in the midst of a New Inquisition.

This is going to mean the total collapse of civilization.

Troll's Response:

What Fat Man doesn't realize is that this bullying comes not from just jocks or athletes but Anon, people who look for lolcows and win. The sad thing about this man, is he is so self-absorbed with his dim view on life and athletic competition; is that behind all those welfare paid Jack In the Box wrappers and empty cans of Bud Light, is a sad pitiful little man who despite his size and retarded view of the world, is a little boy who never grew up to see other people's interest's as something that makes this world great. You are what's wrong FAT MAN, with your judging and stupidity. You may be well read, and can recite information for the masses to enjoy. But you chose to not provide anything to the world other then hate and disdain for you fellow man while black person from his pocket book. We are Anonymous while some of us won't invade you irl privacy, your online persona is readily available for us to destroy. Anonymous works as one, because none of us are as cruel as all of us.

This is followed by cries of;

“	Get this /b/tard shit outta here!	„
— sincerely /sp/

A Wild Fat Man Appears

A few weeks had passed and most /sp/artans had moved on from Fat Man when a delicious little treat was found on SportsSucks:

“	OK, THIS IS IT! I HAVE HAD IT!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW IN THE FUCKING HELL THIS HAPPENED, BUT WHEN I CHECKED MY ONLINE BANK ACCOUNT, I DISCOVERED THAT MY BANK ACCOUNT WAS OVERDRAWN BY $39.61 AND IT APPEARS THAT I HAD MADE A PURCHASE FROM PLI*PLIMUS PLIMUS. CAUS, WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT IS!!! SO, I CALLED MY BANK'S TOLL-FREE NUMBER, AND I FILED A CLAIM. APPARENTLY, IT SHOWS THAT I HAD ORDERED SOME KIND OF COMPUTER SOFTWARE. I DID NOT PLACE SUCH AN ORDER! I DON'T KNOW HOW, BUT SOMEBODY MANAGED TO GET MY DEBIT CARD NUMBER! SO, TONIGHT, I HAD MY DEBIT CARD DEACTIVATED AND IT WILL BE A WEEK TO 10 DAYS BEFORE I GET A NEW DEBIT CARD IN MY MAIL. IN THE MEANTIME, WHEN MY CHECKS COME INTO MY DIRECT DEPOSIT, WHEN IT COMES TIME TO PAY MY RENT ON THE 3RD OF THE MONTH, I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO WITHDRAW MONEY FROM AN ATM MACHINE. NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'LL HAVE TO GET IN LINE, A LONG LONG LINE, TO WITHDRAW CASH FROM MY ACCOUNT TO PAY MY RENT AND TO BUY GROCERIES. SO FOR THE NEXT SEVEN TO TEN DAYS I'M FUCKED!!! THANK YOU SPORTS FANS! YOU SPORTS BORES EXPECT EVERYBODY TO LOVE SPORTS??? SORRY, BUT I CAN ONLY HATE SPORTS AND I HATE ALL OF YOU LOW-LIFE CRIMINAL SCUM-BAGS WHO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH SPORTS! I CAN NOT LIKE WHAT HAS DESTROYED MY LIFE! I CAN NOT LIKE SHIT! I CAN NOT LOVE THAT WHICH IS EVIL!!! ALL YOU SPORTS FANS, AND ALL YOU JOCKS, YOU ARE ALL LOWER THAN SATAN'S TOE JAM!!! I WANT ALL SPORTS FANS AND ALL JOCKS TO CRAWL INTO A SEWER AND DIE!!! RIGHT NOW! AND I MEAN, LIKE, YESTERDAY!!! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! CRAWL INTO A SEWER AND DIE!!!	„

Fat Man clearly had used a malicious program and/or used his Credit/Debit card online where he shouldn't have. But he is so paranoid he is convinced 4channers must have been behind it. This pleased /SP/ARTA as the /sp/artans had been trolling each other over the Winter Olympics, a sporting event no one really gives a shit about as most of /sp/ was filled with Anime from /a/ raids, woman's curling threads and DAT ASS threads.

A few more weeks passed, and after leeching all the sympathy out of Sports Suck, Fat Man posted he had moved on to an anti-bulling forum:

"Tonight, I found an anti-bullying forum at: http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/bullying-forum/

So I registered as a new member. My user name there is Fat Man 1951"

Raid that shit, /sp/ortsfags!

External Links

• http://www.myspace.com/fat_nerds_and_geeks FAT MAN on myspace BAWWWLETED
• http://the-biggest-fattest-blog.blogspot.com His Blog
• http://fat-man1951.livejournal.com/profile LiveJournal
• http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=127508 banned for fatness fetish
• http://fat-man.angelfire.com/ Fail Site
• http://www.angelfire.com/tx/broadspectrum/ His Main Page that branches into his other pages
• http://www.angelfire.com/tx/broadspectrum/index.HOME.html More Fail Site
• http://www.angelfire.com/tx/broadspectrum/index.socialism.html His Socialist Website
• http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1529957457 his facebook HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS
• See all posts by Teddy_Bear

See Also

• Fat Acceptance Movement
• /sp/
• Rape
• Epic fat guy
• Fat Whore
• Internet Humanitarianism
• Not to be confused with fatman27183141
• DO NOT WANT

Fat Man is part of a series on Chans Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage.

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