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Xavier Dupont de Ligonnès
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WARNING:
With the French,
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| Xavier Dupont de Ligonnès | |
| Born | January 9, 1961 |
| Disappeared | April 15, 2011 (aged 50) |
| Nationality: | French 
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| Highscore | Killed 5 |
| Top 50? | No |
| Style | FPS, Single player |
| An Hero? | Maybe... |
| Motive | Typical white father burnout, being a cuck, etc |
Xavier Dupont de Ligonnès† aka XDDL is an oldfag who, after pwning his family, on April 15, 2011, make the most infamous hide-and-seek party of France's history, being currently still at large. Many fellow lulzers tried to beat his hide-and-seek high score but all have failed.
Background
Xavier Pierre Marie Dupont de Ligonnès came from some fancy-pants aristocratic lineage out of Annonay in bumfuck southeastern France. His ancestors were rubbing elbows with poets and bishops – like Édouard du Pont de Ligonnès, who married the sister of that whiny romantic Alphonse de Lamartine, and some other dude who became Bishop of Rodez.
Xavier himself? Total underachiever. Described as a "salesman" by people who clearly didn't want to say "con artist." He started a bunch of shady businesses that catered to traveling salesfags and restaurant plebs, but they all flopped. By 2011, Xavier was drowning in debt, but hey, at least he had that noble title to wipe his tears with.
The Dupont de Ligonnès's family
He married Agnès Hodanger†, a Christard who worked in a Catholic school. In 2004, she whined on some online forum about marital woes, where Xavier straight-up said a family mass suicide "wouldn't be a catastrophe." Foreshadowing much? Together they spawned 4 children:
- Arthur Nicolas Dupont de Ligonnès†: He wasn't even Xavier's own kid. Agnès popped him out with some other dude, while the latter was on a trip in USA. Despite his anger over being cucked, Xavier still decided to adopt Arthur when the latter was 2. He was pwned at 20.
- Thomas Dupont de Ligonnès†: He was described as a discreet and music nerd. He was pwned at 18.
- Anne Dupont de Ligonnès†: Religious like mom, she was viewed by her friends as "considerate and approachable". She was 16 when she was pwned by her dad.
- Benoît Dupont de Ligonnès†: The youngest one. Kid probably thought life was all rosaries and rainbows. He was only 13 years old at the time of his death.
In top of that, they did have two dogs, because every whites suburban family need one.
Timeline of the gameplay
In 2011, From 2011 onwards, Xavier was on the edge. He was cribbled with debt, he has the feeling to be humilated and that nobody respected him. It was from that point that he decided to end it all.
March 2011: Gearing Up for the Lulz
- March 12: Buys rifle bullets.
- March 26-April 1: Joins shooting range, visits four times. Even dragged Thomas and Benoît along, with Arthur next. Family fun!
- Late March: Buys bin liners and adhesive slabs from a DIY store 200 miles away.
April 2011: The Gameplay begin
- April 1: Arthur bails on college and skips picking up his pizzeria paycheck. First red flag.
- April 2: Xavier buys 40kg of lime from different shops. For "gardening," sure.
- April 3: For the last time, neighbors see Agnès for the last time. Then they see Xavier loading "large bags" into his car. That night, Xavier, Agnès, and three kids (minus Thomas) dine out and hit the cinema. Last family outing – how romantic.
- Night of April 3-4: Investigators think Xavier pops Agnès (shot twice in head while asleep, sleep apnea machine stops at 3 AM), Arthur, Anne, Benoît (drugged with sleeping pills, then double-tapped with .22 rifle), and the dogs (because why not). He then buried them under the terrace with lime to mask the smell.
- April 4: Thomas comes home from Angers, texts friends the family's "sick." Xavier calls Agnès's boss saying she's got gastro, then texts she's hospitalized.
- April 5: Xavier takes Thomas out for pizza and movies. Then, bam – kills him too (drugged and shot). He will be buried a separate grave under the stairs.
- April 6-10:* Xavier cleans house because for him, letting his house dirty was worse than murdering his family. He will then sends letters to relatives saying the family's relocating to Australia or the US because he's a DEA witness protection snitch.
- April 11-14: Hits the road south, using credit cards for hotels and ATMs.
- April 15: Xavier was lastly seen on CCTV withdrawing cash, before walks off into the hills. Then Poof – gone.
- April 21: The cops will visit the house SIXTH time before finally discovering the family's bodies, buried in the garden. No Xavier, though. The hide-and-seek party begin !
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 5/20 + The dogs ! |
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| Accuracy: | 20/20 Killed all his cibles |
| Style: | 20/20 Killed his entire family, successfully hide the bodies for days and managed to fled. |
| Butthurt: | 20/20 Sparked the biggest manhunt in French history |
| Bonus: | 20/20 STILL AT LARGE ON THIS DAY |
Wanted Level:
Federal Bureau of Investigation
Investigation
Obviously, Xavier was designated at the principal suspect but despite hundred of cops in the case, an Interpol notice, many trails explored and the help of some retard who They think they're great detectives because they once watched a true crime documentary on Netflix, he was nowhere to be seen.
In October 2019, the French media published the false information that Xavier Dupont de Ligonnès had been found in the United Kingdom. Fake News, It turned out the man was innocent. Initially, the media had meant to say that a suspect resembling XDDL had been found, but a typo led to the misreporting that our protagonist had been found. Because of this, for days, an innocent man saw himself be branded as a family annihilator.
In short, Xavier Dupont de Ligonnès is still at large. Either, he's alive probably sipping wine in Argentina, laughing at the plebs, either he commited an hero in an hidden place as a way of saying "fuck you".
Gallery
See Also
- White Devils - He followed the tradition of his race to annihilate his own family.
- Father - He was one.
External Links
TOW coverage
Xavier Dupont De Ligonnès - Fake humorous Twitter account.
|
Le français en ED Oh là là |
|---|---|
| Oui Oui | Dominique Strauss-Kahn 🐸 Éric Borel 🐸 Joseph Ducreux 🐸 Louis Michel Rieul Billon 🐸 Zinedine Zidane |
| Non Non | David Bret 🐸 Olivier Hadzovic 🐸 William Malet 🐸 Xavier Dupont de Ligonnès |
| Plus de sujets sur la France | ALYS 🐸 Andouillette 🐸 Battle of Sedan 🐸 Charlie Hebdo 🐸 Dailymotion 🐸 France 🐸 Franco-Prussian War 🐸 French Presidential Election, 2017 🐸 French Revolution 🐸 Frog 🐸 Haiti 🐸 Iowa 🐸 ISIS Paris Attack 13-11 🐸 Le Sigh 🐸 Louisiana 🐸 Nice Truck Attack 2016 🐸 Orangina 🐸 Strasbourg Christmas Market Shooting 🐸 Quebec 🐸 Vietnam |
