eHarmony

eHarmony is a match-making site that's meant for 40 year old virgins who can't get laid. If you go to eHarmony, there's a 99% chance you'll get rejected for not being a christian or for being a Jew. Most people who go to eHarmony will be rejected purely for the reasons below:

Being an Atheist
Being a fag
Being under 18
Being a furry
Being a Satanist
Being a Star Trek fan
Being a Jew
Being agnostic
Being mentally unstable
Being black
Being Mexican
And of course, being you

Although, if you were a guy trapped in another guy's body, (see snapesnogger), you'll probably be accepted anyway because you can get married.

The Truth

The man in charge of this site is international, Christian, republican and sodomite Neil Clark Warren. When he isn't engaging in hard-core sex orgies with his fellow CEOs like Rupert Murdock or Bill Gates, he enjoys fucking with people and making them lose their time and money on eHarmony. If you were someone who was able to get accepted to eHarmony, odds are you're probably christian (unless you're catholic, because we all know how much evangelists and bapists hate catholics).

But don't just take our word for it, check it out for yourself:

	“	He (Neil Clark Warren) adds that same-sex marriage is illegal in most states. 'We don't really want to participate in something that's illegal.'	„
	—Neil on being a queer chaser and fag beater.

This proves that eHarmony hates fags and are ideological christians who enjoy fapping off each other. eHarmony is only interested in helping people who can get married.

	“	You can say that that is just a good business idea, because it increases the size of your market. But it's also for me a philosophical point: I think our world will be a lot better world if we can help people of all types get married well	„
	—Neil justifying the shitty service he provides to all.