BrokeNCYDE

These guys probably would WANT this page getting popular.

New Mexico doesn't have much to be noteworthy for. Shitty internet service (mostly Comcast or DSL from the late 90's), defunct military installations (thanks to UFO conspiracies), and a fucked-all film industry producing things on the extremely cheap for cable television. The music to come from it is no different — being known for maybe 3 musicians/bands:

The Shins, a VERY old, semi-decent band nobody under the age of 30 cares about
Mexican that wrote the award-winning song The Weary Kind for the 2009 movie Crazy Heart
And its greatest shame...

BrokeNCYDE

The most accurate last.fm band description, EVAR.

BrokeNCYDE (pronounced Broke Inside) are not only the most over-hyped band to have come out of New Mexico, but to have come out of the USA in general around 2006. To hear them is to know the death of music; to see them is to wish blindness on yourself; to meet them is to wish a Holocaust upon their "fanbase" for getting them here. Of course, nothing can really beat what they think of themselves, so let's get right to that:

	“	A group heard like no other, with styles ranging from Hip-Hop to Hardcore Screamo. This is sure a mix that was born from originality. Consisting of 3 members, Brokencyde brings not only a composed talent but also a sound that has been captured by thousands of fans from around the World. SE7EN, the writer, rapper, screamer, and music producer of the group. Born in Tokyo, Japan to later be raised in the U.S. Started writing and rhyming at an early age. By 16 he released a CD under the name Majestimatix, titled COME FOLLOW ME! He also appeared in numerous hiphop groups throughout the southwest, and has had the pleasure of producing various acts from around the world as well as his own. Mexican, an Albuquerque native, brings the haunting vocals which seem to dwell you into the pain he felt when he lost his real life love, and with no prior experience you could only wonder how a voice so astounding is possible. PhatJ, The most recent member to join, and finish off the groups primary line up. With an amazing talent behind his 88 key Yamaha, this underground hiphop artist was simply born for Brokencyde! It’s been a long journy, but BC13 is now official. From the studio, to the streets. Brokencyde is now hitting thousands of plays a day on myspace, thus placing them selfs in the MS Charts as one of the top 3 bands in all necessary genre’s throughout the entire world. This NEW BREED of music is sure to grab your attention and just may be the next big thing to hit the music scene and perhaps change the industry as we know it. Get CRUNK! or DIE!!!	„
	—This was on their PureVolume page

OH IT'S A JOKE ABOUT BEATING UP A COP HURR

You read that correctly. A mix of hardcore screamo, modern hip hop and throw in a little bit of everything that's wrong with teenagers and then you have BrokeNCYDE in a nutshell. Not only do they try to pass this unholy audio concoction off as "original" but none of them have any talent whatsoever.

	“	if you wanna go and see something really fucking funny, forget comedians go and watch that fucking filth	„
	—Frank Carter of Gallows commenting on BrokeNCYDE

Something of note missing from this description was that of Antz, the fourth "member" who's more-or-less their stage-effects bitch. He has the challenging job of pushing the buttons on a fog machine, pressing the other 87 buttons on PhatJ's keyboard, and selling their blinged-out merch whenever their booth-guys are busy scamming on Jailbait in the parking lot. They've also done some songs with Hip-hop and Hyphy elites, such as E-40; besides possibly The Lonely Island, this is the first time a joke band full of white kids from the suburbs ever got some urban help with their music.

Bree the Crunk Pig

As part of their shtick, the boys would beat up on a dude in a pigsuit as a tribute to their distaste for THE PIGS. This attention-whoring was a bit funny, considering the Albuquerque Police are almost as fucked up as the LAPD, and a lot of niggers would love a crack at some of them off the clock for all the shit they pull. However, seeing as these four kids have probably never dealt with anything worse than a parking ticket (and they probably got out of that somehow), and the girly vocal styling of songs like BREE BREE, no one who's dealt with the cops on the regular could take these faggots seriously. Eventually he became a bit of an old meme, though at times they get Antz or a random roadie to wear the smelly, destroyed remains of the Bree costume for nostalgia's sake, or to piss off the person who doesn't have a choice in the matter besides quitting.

Lyrics

	“	Somebody had to write the lyrics of course, and that is an art form, but pretty much any 14-year-old with a fifth of schnapps has spewed lines similar to BrokeNCYDE’s “I’M SO FUCKED UP! I’M SO BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! WHAT THE FUCK! I’M SO FUCKED UPPPPP!…,” but what else would one expect from a song called “2 Drunk.”	„
	—Meghan Bainum and Harold Johns III, The Rathaus

	“	Girl cant you see me rocking skinnies with them Nike's on Your hair looks different your extensions make it twice as long But I'm still with it, we can kick it, maybe have some fun Girl I don't care as long as you can make a brother cum	„
	—Scene Girls

	“	They pull their panties down, they take their pants off.	„
	—FreaXXX - That's some str8 nigger shit right there

	“	Come on bitch, you know you want this. That hardcore shit will make you feel the toxic. Fursachi, Rolex watches. Bentley coups with the 20's droppin. Convertible top, and the wheels spin. I can taste that ice when my grill is in. If you want me baby feel me in. 'cause I don't waste my time with lesbians.	„
	—FreaXXX

	“	Your eyes They flow From all the pain I caused I lost my cause I only broke your heart Alone I cry I tried so hard to break you I love you I hate you Why wont you let me go?	„
	—I'm Sorry - And they should be

	“	LET'S DRINK THE FORTY OUNCE! LET'S GET CRUNK IN THE CLUB! PUT YOUR BOTTLES IN THE AIR! LIKE YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCK! HAND ME THE FORTY OUNCE! LET'S DRINK THE FORTY OUNCE! HAND ME THE FORTY OUNCE! LET'S DRINK THE FORTY OUNCE!	„
	—40Oz.

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Videos

Booty Call (nigger)

40oz. - FUN FACT: They have apple juice in those 40oz. bottles

Bree Bree (as lip-sync'd/sung by some fgt)

Previous Video | Next Video

Reviews?

Be it blogs or IRL magazines, there are almost always bad reviews of BrokeNCYDE's shit. Now, this isn't bad reviews like back in the 80's, where some snooty critic wouldn't like a Rock or a Metal band for being as such, but because BrokeNCYDE is utter shit despite whatever genre they were. When you think on all the Crunkcore-related bands, you can usually find a "good" with them; Hollywood Undead expands into other shitty genres, 3OH!3 makes pretty lulzy videos, etc. BrokeNCYDE does none of these things — in fact, they somehow set their own genre back by years with poor video quality and even moar poor execution of the "lyrics" they write. Plus the claims that they invented Crunkcore is clever trolling or a terrible lie, as they're probably the youngest in The Game next to Millionaires.

	“	fuck you all you didnt grow up in nowdays yoi dont know what its like this is the stuff that keeps me off drugs and out of trouble. i listen to everything but this stuff is what calms me and keeps me sane. so stop judgeing. i dont make fun and say what you like is evil and currupts the world.	„
	—Steven, ironic and "positive" review

	“	I’ve inadvertently seen brokencyde at a large east coast festival. Yes, it’s terrible, mindless, mysogynistic and inexplicably popular. However, for every confused teenager going apeshit for the band, there were probably three slightly less confused teenagers flipping them the bird and complaining about how awful they were.	„
	—Nate Harold

	“	First it was cool to listen to rap music because it was "ironic". Now it's a staple in the scene to listen to it more then regular music. I will never understand the idea of this trend or trends like these. Kids think for themselves less and less as the days past. In two or three years everyone will laugh at this album and the kids who listen to it will be ashamed. Remember when everyone thought My Chemical Romance was cool?	„
	—GoWaitInTheCar

	“	I’m Not A Fan But The Kids Like It! by Brokencyde is a whole album of songs like “I’m On a Boat”, but they blend it with screamo. And it’s not funny. Or good. At all.	„
	—Ryan Cooper on punkmusic.about.com

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Thankfully, YouTube comments from fans of theirs years ago have revealed that even they don't know what the fuck they were thinking when they were listening to this godawful shit.

Camwhore Archives

Almost bigger than the 4chan's /b/ collections, these guys used to have a section on their MySpace Pictures dedicated to, you guessed it, camwhores. Scenewhores the world over would flash their barely-legal (sometimes ILLegal) cleavage, tits, panties, etc., all with Sharpie'd-on band-member names, "BC13," the band's name, or otherwise on their exposed bodies. The band eventually began to take all the Tagged images and try to catch them all before MySpace told them to cut that shit out. Before the crackdown(s) on the galleries upon galleries of teens, both females and males, stripping clothing and appeasing their Crunk gods, some of the best pictures were fapped over or mocked by blogs, forums, or even the band themselves.

Trolling

Okay, after reading all the blogs, hearing all the songs, and even seeing some of their concerts, one has to ask - are they trolling us all? The answer is an emphatic probably. However, what should be noted is that if they had any actual talent over the last 4-5 years, they wouldn't have had to exploit the dipshit teenage girls on MySpace and YouTube to get their e-fame and their IRL monies. But fuck it, we at ED would love to have known a way to somehow make a quick buck looking like fags. So you see, you shouldn't hate them because of their shitty music, their Scenefag looks, or their likelihood of being nerds in high school who didn't get beaten up enough — you should hate them for taking the idea you never thought of to make a SHITLOAD of money, getting out of their basement and talking to a girl, and for contributing to the cancer that's killing techno.

Also of ironic note: neither they, their fans, or probably readers of this section will get the cycle of the abuse that is still continuing with these very words.

Copypasta

The Meeting

“	Recently, I was allowed the honor and privilege to go backstage after BrokeNCYDE had finished performing. Once I reached the dressing room, I was approached by frontman 'Se7en', whom I am a very big fan of. Before I could ask for his autograph, he proceeded to ask me in the most tempting voice you can possibly imagine,... "wus poppin bitch, can i get some head?" I'll never forget the wonderful taste of his sweaty, slimy, white, suburban cock sliding down the back of my thirteen year old throat. Just as he was about to bust a nut, back-up vocalist 'Phat J' proceeded to shove his greasy cock into my asshole. It felt great at first but was just too much for my fragile thirteen year old bum. I ended up shitting all over his cock. Fortunately, Se7en was quick to suck it all off. They told me to unload the rest of my dump into a shot glass so they could eat it like chocolate, which they did. It was a truly humbling experience that changed my life forever.	„

The Truth (as written by a gook)

“	What BrokeNCYDE represents is the death of music. It's generic, it's whiny, and worst of all, it's making money. Normally, I don't care about mainstream bands, or for youth culture in general. But this...this travesty, this abomination of music simply makes me sad. With all due respect (which is slim to none) I say that BrokeNCYDE is to music what cancer is to people. If this trend continues, i'm afraid that the future holds nothing but laundry lists of failures ahead of it. I know you think i'm being silly, or not looking at the whole picture. Think about it though. A generation is defined by it's music. Or at least, shaped. What do you think these attention whores are doing? They're teaching listeners that it's okay to dress like a Macy Day parade. They're teaching them it's okay to be a whore as long as you make money. Worst of all, these faggots are exalted where most bands (of whom are much worthier of listening to) get swept under because they don't have the look. Please please please. Don't listen to this crap. Even if it turns out to be a giant joke or troll, don't buy it. Jokes are supposed to be hilarious and non-profit. In the end, I only have this to say.. FUCK YOU, AMERICAN YOUTH. Listen to some good music, you stupid cocky faggots.	„
—Love, VaultTec2