Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Thomas Matthew Crooks

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by The PolishPrince (talk | contribs) at 23:53, 16 July 2024. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
THE TIN HATS ARE SAYING THAT CROOKS IS PART OF A REPUBLICAN CONSPIRACY TO GET TRUMP ELECTED


   
 
I knew immediately that something was wrong in that I heard a whizzing sound, shots, and immediately felt the bullet ripping through the skin
 

 
 

Soon To be elected God Emperor Trump

Inept and a complete Fuck up as an assassin and Appalachian Love Child Thomas Matthew Crooks, obviously played one too many games of Ghost Recon Breakpoint rather than going to shoot at the range and learn to factor in conditions such as weather, wind or just fucking learn to shoot because he completely missed his target that was a little more than 120 meters from him. (For the Aspie retards reading this, that haven't had any experience, further than their own front lawn because they're not allowed to cross the street) that's a little more than a Football field and is a equal to hitting a paper plate that is at the opposite end of a football field.

Now before you go running to the FBI to try and get us Party Vaned . WE DO NOT CONDONE THIS! What's tickling our Funny Bone, is that Thomas Matthew Crooks is what happens when that quiet, Nerdy and needy kid, that walks through High School invisible and can't even get the attention of a Bully, grows up to live in his Parent's Basement and is constantly reminded by his Mom and Dad that he is a complete failure of a man compared to them.

The Shooting

For some reason, Thomas Matthew Crooks' father, despite his being a licensed councilor in the incestuous state of Pennsylvania, saw no reason what-so-ever to question buying his Chronically Masterbating, hands rubbing and talking to himself son a wonderful and American made AR15 hunting rifle with the excuse that it'd be used at the Clairton Sportsmen’s Club in greater Pittsburgh two months before the Attempted Assassination of our Future god-emperor Donald Trump.

While in the zone and showing his supporters a chart, serving as an example showing the number of border crossings by illegals, a shot was fired as Former god-emperor Trump was turning his head and a bullet struck him in his ear. As expected, after hearing the shot, the Secret Service, ready to take a bullet for our former President, surrounded Trump and quickly led him from the stage to safety.

What has some officials' Panties in a bunch, is that this Assassination attempt was even allowed to happen. Both Republicans and Democrats agree that there was some fault in security that allowed a crazy ass shooter to get within 130 meters of the former President with a weapon and fire 8 shots.

Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro N. Mayorkas called the attempted assassination a “failure” and in reality every officer there will have their Smart Phones quietly confiscated to who was playing Mad Birds when they should have been protecting a Presidential Candidate.

Trying to make the Assassination Attempt on Trump about him, President Joe Biden as saying "Jill and I are grateful to the Secret Service for getting him to safety, There's no place for this kind of violence in America. We must unite as one nation to condemn it."

The Man - The Failure: Thomas Mathew Crooks

Entering in our pages with a High Score lower then that of the utterly complete failure in life and well known White Supremist, Autistic, Fucktard, that would have aborted his pathetic killing spree if a girl would play bump-bump with him, Thomas Matthew Crooks was pretty much described, in the same way. People describe him as being a recluse that only came out to walk around their neighborhood wearing his head phones, interacting with no one. Others have also said that usually the only time you really saw someone outside for an extended period of time was when the Lawn needed mowed.

Proudly graduating from Bethel Park High School in 2022, his peers described him as quiet, friendly and wasn't one of those silent, trenchcout wearing, school shooters and completely incapable of even thinking about such a thing as killing the former President.

Kylie Katilius, who lived up the street from Thomas said that he was a danger on the shooting range when he tried out for the Bethel Patk High School shooting team, she was quoted as saying, "If he was on lane seven, he was shooting all the way over on lane one, Mistakes happen, but full on shooting a different wall, he had to be doing something big wrong."

Kylie Katilus said that the Shooting Coach was infuriated by Thomas' lack of Gun safety, and he would never be allowed on the team until he could show a minimal amount of understanding gun safety.

After graduating High School, and unlike, so many on our High Score list Thomas actually tried to better himself. He spent two years getting an associate degree in engineering science from Alleghany County Community College unaware that if you don't have a diploma with a name at the top like OSU, Pen State or Texas A & M, you might as well be holding A Pice of Toilet Paper in your hand.

Much like so many with a useless Comunity College degree, Thomas was able to pass a background check and capable of finding himself a job and working at low pay for Bethel Park Skilled Nursing and Rehabilitation Center, handing out meals, cleaning up Shit that the loose bowels of old people left on the floor for him to clean up.


Thomas Matthew Crooks is part of a series on

Truth

Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.

Thomas Matthew Crooks
is part of a series on serious business
Serious Concepts

Free SpeechIdentity theftIronyInternet assholeInternet CelebritiesInternet diseaseInternet dramaInternet humanitariansInternet LawInternet lawsuitInternet lawyerInternet stalkingInternet tough guyInternet Vigilante GroupOperation Falcon PunchSwattingVandalismWorld Wide Web Consortium

People & Organizations

2cashAlan TuringCasey SerinDavid HockeyDear Cis PeopleDoxbinFast EddieGrace SaundersHallcats SquadronJessi SlaughterMary BellMeek MillKittensMaja SchmidtMissyNiggest Crook ForcePsychopathVloggerheadsWEB SHERIFF

Thomas Matthew Crooks is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron AlexisAaron BushnellAaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAngry GrandpaAnna Nicole SmithAnthony WarnerAsa CoonBrian AdamsBrandon CrispByuuCharmaine DragunCho Seung-HuiChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineDragoneerEazy-EEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyGeorge SodiniGizgizGleb KorablevHappyCabbieHarambeH.P. LovecraftHeath LedgerJake DavisonJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonKate SpadeKitty0706Kurt CobainLemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLil PeepLiloLoki BlackfangLowtaxMia JaninMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceNathan GaleNikita LytkinOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRina PalenkovaRipperRobin WilliamsRonnie McNuttRudolph ZurickRyan PalmeterShawn WoolleyShayShuaibySol PaisStephen PaddockSteve StephensThomas Matthew CrooksTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler DumstorfVester FlanaganWilliam AtchisonXXXTentacionZhao Zewei

Those Dying Alone

03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77Adam SandlerAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmy SchumerAndrew AllansonAngry JoeAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAntony AguilarApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxArgent009Arguecat3Arin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrian Richard ZaigerBrianna WuBroniesButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCatboyKamiCheeyevChloe SagalChris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonCyraxxDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDarksydePhilDave ChapelleDave MustaineDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDillon CosseyDiogo MendesDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDnepropetrovsk maniacsDodgerofZionDogpatch PressDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868Dorian_GayDoug WalkerDrakonDrossRotzankDoomentioDustinEDP445Emer PrevostEmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogErtasVideosFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGather Against FateGeorge LopezGeosheaGhostGirlvinylGlobelampGoddessMilleniaGraykatGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777I Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles CheongIchverboticze⁴rImma-The-DeerInkBunnyIsabella Loretta JankeJamil The KingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJINXDROWNEDJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonmonJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276Joshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinRPGKat DenningsKendall JennerKeegan SalisburyKathleen ToddKenny GlennKevin HavensKeffalsKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKrashedLaci GreenLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Leslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLogo KidsLordelthibarLow Tier GodLucian HodobocM. ChaosA Man in BlackManchildrenMar9122MarblesMarioMario456MariotehplumberMarjan SiklicmasteroogwgayMatthew DavisMatthew NicholsonMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeowbarkMeganSpeaksMichael BattonMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMike SandyMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMumkey JonesMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250NawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNick BateNick BravoNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriObjectfagsOFWGKTAOnideus Mad HatterOnyx ForepawPacificoceanasiaPaigeGirlPaul FeigPaulie CalafioreParkourdude91Peter BrightPeter CoffinPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPeluchin EntertainmentPMRantsPreachingthegospelQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRichard ReidRicki RavenRMG ProductionsRobert StaintonRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Ryan RouthSad FrogSammyClassicSonicFanSam PepperSarah ButtsSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSegacampSega KidSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSonic SaviorSonmanicSony-MaeSophie LabelleSpax3StormySuperlisamcbSusan BoyleTara StrongTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagTheSockDetectiveTim BuckleyTJ LaneTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotVadeVinceintheBayWade FulpWeatherManKevinWesley!!!WoWfan4lifeWwwareaWeegeeisgoingtokillmXenuriaYandereDevYoshiwii1Youyoungbloodfantasy91Zoe QuinnZone

Their Methods

9gagAdventure TimeAn HeroAIDSAnimuAlt-rightArt SchoolA-Log's Fanfictionask.fmAsperger's SyndromeAssigned MaleBath SaltsThe Big Bang TheoryBattle For Dream IslandBlackLivesMatterBlack metalBody PillowsBonziWORLDBitViewBoozeBullyingBuzzFeedChildren's CartoonsClown WorldComputer Science IIICosplayCumOnPrintedPics.ComCupheadDead FriendDeath metalDeath penaltyDating SimsDeviantARTDiscordDrugsEdginessFamily GuyFanFictionFeminismFedoraFidget spinnerThe Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurAffinityFurry ArtFun Shitposting WikiGarry's ModGenshin ImpactGoAnimate!GooglewhackingGorillazGothsGravity FallsGreen DayGreeny PhatomGrindcoreHackingHappy Madison ProductionsHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffHigh ScoreIncelcoreIndie musicInfantilismInsane Clown PosseIntrovertInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLeague of LegendsLegoLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMass ShootingsMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMGTOWMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNice GuyismNu metalOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesOverwatchPlastic CrapPlenty of Fish/r9k/Rick and MortyRobloxRule 34RuneScapeSchool ShootingsSecond LifeSelf-VictimizationShy Boys IRLSilk Screen Goku ShirtSlayerSlipknotSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeSource FilmmakerSouth ParkSparkalloonSpeakoniaStar vs. the Forces of EvilSteven UniverseTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe Anytown ShowThe EntersphereThe SimsThey Might Be GiantsTomb RaiderToolTransformersTulpasTumblrTV Tropestwenty one pilotsUnchartedUncle GrandpaUncyclopediaUndertaleUnikittyUTTPVidLiiVirginityVirtual YoutubersVloggerheadsWatchMojo.comWeezerWikimaniaWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYIIK: A Post-Modern RPGYouTube

Thomas Matthew Crooks
is part of a series on Donald Trump.


You're gonna love this article, believe me.