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Spax3
Alexander Edison Prinston Stairs (better known online as Spax3, Spaction3 or TheHoodie1, or Hoodie Drunkito), born July 31st, is a typical video game reviewer, DeviantART user, brony and website host (by "typical" we mean "batshit insane"). Infamously known for his absolutely terrible game reviews and his reactions to any criticism i.e. flagging any videos that speak against him and deleting any negative comments, claiming that he is doing so under the guidance by his expert lawyer (a.k.a. his mother). He is also the poster boy for criminally insane Sonic The Hedgehog fans, who want to murder voice actors for not doing an A++ job.
Now some of you may be asking "Why should I care? What's so special about this person that he deserves this tl;dr article that I'm never going to read?" Well the answer, to put it simply is, that this is an important pioneer who has helped shape the internet for the better: It's thanks to him, that you can still find videos on YouTube, complaining about Sonic voice acting; It's also thanks to him that faggots have now learned the ability to flag any video on YouTube they don't like, and get it removed by will.
Life
Not much is known about the life of Young Spax except for some details. His earliest known erection is estimated to have occurred as a young child, when he was first exposed to Sonic The Hedgehog, via Television Commercial. He also became the winner of the year 2000 Pokemon Card Game championship tournament extravaganza.
Skip forward in time. Spax cosplays as Bowser from Mario, in order to appear in the DVD box set of a Mario Bros. cartoon, which he is successful at (He must be so proud). He lives in his mother's house basement shed, is over 20 years old, steals money from his mother to buy video games, eats nothing but KFC, buys the affection of his online "friends" via DeviantART subscriptions and E3 invitations (just don't expect to get trough the door), reviews video games and complains about how his favorite blue hedgehog doesn't sound right and everyone responsible should get run over and burn in hell.
If you didn't the subtle message there, Spax is a lifeless basementshed-dweller who's world revolves around video games, especially those of Sonic The Hedgehog - the single greatest character created by man, who sounds like shit due the the incompetence of one Jason Griffith (a.k.a. The Anti-Christ).
Family and Friends
Spax lives in an interesting family. A handicapped mother who still has to get him out of trouble, a father who commissions him for kindergarten-quality drawings and a sister who they call the Angry Lesbian. Seems like the perfect happy family.
Mother
His mother, otherwise known as Jenelle Christine Prins, is also his lawyer and legal advisor. While she does indeed seem to have had a pretty decent career, she sadly suffered in a plane crash, which may have affected her mental abilities and her judgment. Spax, however, being dense as he is, doesn't seem to have taken this as a possibility, using her legal advise to consolidate his power and influence across the internet (uneffectively), resulting only in many people getting pissed off. At one point, when Spax felt uncomfortable about a girl asking him about phone sex, he got HIS OWN mother to talk to the girl's mother about it. What a man!
Father
His father, otherwise known as Allen Stairs (PhD University of Western Ontario), is an Associate Professor of Philosophy and Associate Chair the philosophy department. Nope, I am not kidding. So he's kind of a big deal. Not much else is known about him, other than the fact that he COMMISSIONED Spax (as in - payed him money) to draw these four drawings, for his website. See for yourself. How much money he payed, you ask? Spax claims that with the money he got from those drawings, he bought himself an Xbox 360 Elite and copies of Bioshock and Halo 3. So a bunch of video games are the fruits of nepotism! Whether that is all part of some elaborate study in philosophy on the father's part, with Spax as the subject, remains unknown. Follow him on Twitter to learn the TRUTH!
Sister
His sister, otherwise known as Jenelle Prins-Stairs (the call her the angry lesbian), is an interesting part of the Prins-Stairs family, being already a much more successful person - she has graduated college with a major in psychology, she DOESN'T live with her parents, and she seems to have some actual friends. At this point one might actually assume that both siblings are part of some experiment on the father's side, to observe 2 opposite ends of the spectrum. One can only imagine.
Friends
Spax also has no friends, though he tries his hardest to prove otherwise to people, by having lots of ONLINE friends (people who just stick around Spax because they feel sorry for him), most of whom he bribed to have them be his friends, with either presents, DeviantART subscriptions, or free travel tickets so he can CHILL with them (by chill, I mean lie to them and make them feel embarrassed to be around him). But if you actually get into a real conversation with these people, they will not be shy about telling you what a horrible experience it is to be anywhere near him.
Virginity and E-Girlfriend
Though there is no confirmation on this, it's a pretty safe bet that Spax is also a virgin. Not many women would find any of these as attractive qualities:
- Having his handicapped mother fight his battles for him
- Being a fat fuck
- Being a disgusting shit who never changes clothes
- Being a furry
- Screaming like a maniac either for "teh lulz" or about how blue hedgehogs don't sound right
- Screaming at, and threatening his own mother
- Obsessing over video games
- Breaking multiple cell phones
- Throwing tantrums in restaurants that won't serve him, because they're about to close
- Lying to people about getting them into events
As a result of this, you could probably guess that no one woman would ever touch him, so he looks for romance in cartoon characters. An example of this would be Cream the Rabbit of the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, who, according to her bio, is six years old. Yup, seems that being a regular furry or a regular pedophile just wasn't enough for Spax, so he took it to the next level - Furry Pedophile with cartoon characters. But it's ok, because he has help in living out his furry pedophile fantasies with his online girlfriend, Julayla, whose fursona he keeps putting into romantic situations with his own fursona. It's a perfect match, too, since she also is a Sonic fan who makes awful fan fiction and MS paint art. It wouldn't be out of the question that Spax may have had her dress up as Cream for him, as well.
Videos / Voice Acting
Video Game Journalism
Spax3 started out his career on YouTube, by posting his first game reviews, which (to the surprise of no one) were about Sonic games. Bizarrely, he named his "Game Review Show" - 'Cartoon Network A.S.N (what the A.S.N is supposed to mean, will be a mystery for all time), even though (shockingly) Time Warner didn't have anything to do with this fat psychopath ranting about games on YouTube (apparently he took the name from something he did in High School, where he would bring a laptop to school and watch cartoons with his friends). Genuinely shocking though, is that Spax actually managed to build up a loyal fanbase with these reviews.
These reviews were edgy and new - complaining about the shit other reviewers dont have the balls to - like the shading on a 2D spring being upside down; the leg of a female sonic character phasing trough her skirt for half a second in a cutscene (his reasons for looking at the skirt were PURELY for Game Journalism purposes), and of course - voice acting. When he wasn't teaching you about the evils of Jason Griffith, he was educating you on underground indie titles that you have NEVER heard of, such as the Mario Bros. series - some weird platformer thing where you collect mushrooms or something, screaming all his words like a psychopath, because it's totally funny and never done by anyone else. He also had a running storyline, where he talked with terribly animated furry characters and The Noid, about shitty video games, then he blew up the planet because he didn't like a video game and he went into the toonami spaceship thing and transferred his room up so he can continue doing his reviews up in space with his furry pals.
His reviews are still up on his site (see Website section of article), but don't watch them there, to avoid giving Spax MONEY for your views. Watch them here instead.
Game Conventions
At 2008, Spax (as a video game journalist, performing important video game journalism) went to E for All - a poor man's E3, open to the public. Spax went there with an "awesome" friend of his, for whom Spax payed the trip for. Turns out, she was just in it for the free trip and ditched Spax the first opportunity she got. Spax was upset, but it's ok because there was a RETRO corner where he could spend the whole time and spend THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS that he stole from his mom, to buy shitty RETRO video game shit. But why settle for a shitty knock off of a popular game convention, when he could just go the actual shitty game convention itself? So in 2010, Spax was "invitied" to E3 as a game journalist (he payed to get in) and he invited some FRIENDS of his from his website, who WEREN'T ALLOWED ACCESS INTO THE BUILDING WHEN THEY ARRIVED, so Spax ditched them at the entrance. And you wonder why he has no friends? But it's ok, because Spax got to do an interview with his hero and idol - James Rolfe, though the whole interview consists of Spax asking the most generic questions, and then talking about his OWN goddamn reviews and comparing them to AVGN's.
—Spax3 attempting to impress AVGN |
—AVGN remains unimpressed |
Voice Acting / 4kids
I'm not sure if we mentioned this in the article already (we might have), but Spax hates Jason Griffith. And I mean - he fucking HATES Jason Griffith. He has wished DEATH upon him, and petitioned against him. He has made forum posts, he has made rants, he has made POSTERS that he spread around his town. All because, Jason Griffith didn't voice a blue cartoon hedgehog to perfection. Not like Ryan Drummond, the previous voice actor for Sonic, was next to god-like in his performance, according to Spax (upon close inspection, one will notice that both actors sound exactly the same). Also Spax got a nasty poo-poo response from Griffith, to an e-mail he sent him, inquiring about why he is the worst voice actor ever, which Spax was upset about.
—Spax discussing Jason Griffith. Listen for yourself. |
So, Spax has done all he can to inform his fellow man about the evils of 4Kids, the company that did the voices for Sonic at the time, but it just didn't seem to get the job done. So the only thing left for Spax to do was to introduce the world to his own amazing voice acting talents, and beat 4kids at their own game! On 2007 he announces his cast for the brand new Sonic X Fan Dub, consisting entirely of Spax and a bunch of 10 year olds. Then 2 years later Episode 1 gets LEAKED online. Spax claims that it was not finished... but it IS. Spax EDITED it together and made it available to whomever it was who leaked it. Watch it now. That is his failure of an attempt ABSOLUTELY SUCCESSFUL attempt at showing those 4kids fags HOW ITS DONE. Shortly after this, Spax decided that this is gonna be his career - He's gonna be a voice actor too now. You can even hire his talents for your own projects, and listen to his voice acting demo!
Sure, Spax says that he's repented and he thinks Jason Griffith is totally cool now, but everyone knows he's full of shit. He can't deny this history and all the shit he did and said.
TheHoodie1
One of the strangest things Spax has ever done, a series of bizarre skype-panel shit videos that he made with a bunch of 13 year olds, discussing the strangest shit - how different things give them boners, cleavage on video game characters (once again - with 13 year olds). This is apparently a mexican character created by Spax for his videos, because fake racism is lulzy as balls and will make people like your unfunny shit. But don't be fooled, it's just Spax with a mexican hat. That's funny as shit!
Now one could study these videos for days and speculate on his reasons for making them, especially during the height of people making fun of him and shitting on him on YouTube - Is he attempting to troll (or at least what he thinks trolling is), is he trying to be funny, is he trying to accomplish epic win? No matter the answer it is pretty clear that he fails at either of them.
You can watch any of these EPIC LULZ videos right here.
Drama / The Law
For moar lulz, click here.
—Spax3 |
At some point in his career, Spax was working for Sonmanic on his Sonic Movie project (shocking, I know), as the voice for Sonic. However he soon got fired for playing video games and not doing any fucking work. However, Spax got upset, so he sued Sonmanic (for something) resulting in the Sonic Movie being canceled (for a while). Nothing of value was lost. This presents the earliest known point when Spax began abusing his legal skillz (handicapped mother) for personal gain, which is something he would do a lot from now on. Later on, a 13-year-old girl who was also on the Sonic project made a video explaining WHY his lazy ass was fired. Spax's manly response to this was to get his mother to talk with the girl's mother about how she could be SUED for making such a video.
Things weren't looking good for him in his YouTube kingdom either. Eventually people started noticing how much of a psychopath Spax is, and started ripping on his shit with parodies and rants. He responded by making several serious rants about how people were just "spreading drama" about him, and that he only wants the drama to end (which is why he made six videos about it). These videos were embarrassingly terrible, so the "drama" only got worse. This resulted in the TRUE nature of Spax to be revealed to the general public. You see, one by one these videos questioning his almighty status, were suddenly pulled from YouTube, under "Copyright claims by Spax3". As it turns out, Spax doesn't take criticism too well. Weather it be on YouTube, any other content site or his own goddamn forum, any person DARING to say anything less than praise of his wonderful work, gets the Banhammer. Then he thought "I gotta take this a step further", so any video that just says the WORD "Spax" and then says something negative, gets BANNED.
Excuses, Excuses
—Spax3 |
As an excuse for his actions, Spax claims that his lawyer mommy told him its ok - if Spax puts out a video on YouTube for free, then he instantly owns full copyrights on it (you know, those reviews with the Cartoon Network logo, popular rock n roll music and Gamespot gameplay footage), and NO ONE else can even DARE to use a frame of footage from it. If they do, THEY ARE GONE FROM YOUTUBE. When presented with the fact that most of his shit contains at least 100 copyrights from other companies, he usually responds with something along the lines of "Well, it doesn't matter since it's just a FAN PROJECT and I'm not making any money off it. Eventually he also started imagined his own company - Mighty Noid Entertainment (a legally non-existent organization), and then claims since he owns his own company that makes all his videos, he has more of a right than EVER BEFORE, to remove ANYTHING that makes even the TINIEST insulting reference towards him.
Of course every single one of hist excuses falls flat especially when you hear what actual attorneys have said on Spax, saying that his bullshit is just that - bullshit. Also he IS making money off it, because as you might notice on his website, ALL of his videos are hosted on Blip.tv - a service which PAYS MONEY for your videos, depending on their view count. And one of his OWN FUCKING ARGUMENTS on why he is allowed to remove videos is that he removes videos which threaten his ability to make a profit with his work (a.k.a. PROFITING OFF OTHER PEOPLE'S COPYRIGHTS, which he ADMITS TO BE DOING). Then there's his little argument about how his fantastic and REAL company has legal rights. No, it's not a real company and it has no legal rights, as far as the United States government is concerned. It becomes pretty damn obvious after a while that Spax just uses his "lawyer-mom" excuses to get away with his abuse of the "report" button for personal gain.
Encyclopedia Dramatica
During the The Great Sonic-cide of 2007, Spax noticed that many of his friends were being attacked by a strange, mystical website called Encyclopedia Dramatica. Being the white knight and e-law expert that he is, Spax instantly went to the rescue by threatening ED with his mom's legal skills.
Previous Quote | Next Quote |
So his scary threat includes usage of the now defunct Communications Act of 1934, so naturally all of ED staff was scared, but they decided to remain strong in the face of the amazing legal skills of Spax.
Shortly afterwards ED continued on existing, unaffected.
DeviantART
Not being contempt with only sharing his voice acting abilities with the world, Spax also likes to treat us to some of his amazing drawings. Drawings like "Cream the Rabbit being tied up", "My friends' Fursona being tied up by Cream the Rabbit" and of course "Sonic characters being tied up (including Cream the Rabbit)". If you think you have noticed a pattern in those titles, don't be alarmed - Spax is just a regular person on DeviantART who likes to draw furry animals either being tied up or fucking mutilated. Don't be jealous, it's just one of his amazing talents.
And don't be alarmed that a lot of images on this article contain HUGE DeviantART watermarks on them. That's just Spax's SUPER effective method of keeping evil troll sites (like us) from using them.
And not only is DeviantARTSPACE a great place to find some of Spax's horrible fucking artwork, it's also a great place for him to whore out his sexy sexy face to the masses. When he's not chilling in the grass, he's chilling in the pool. When he's not feeling the force, he's feeling the chakra.
Visitors of his account might also notice that there is a significant jump in the quality of drawings that he claims to be his own ORIGINAL (do not steal) DRAWINGS, and everything else on his fucking account. Some of you may be asking: "Does he just trace his work?" Yes, yes he does.
Bondage and Cream
—Spax3 |
Yes, indeed. Spax indeed has admitted to legitimately having a bondage fetish and to being "a fan" of Cream the Rabbit. So he is not just a regular pervert, or a regular furry, or a regular pedophile. No, he takes it one step further by being ALL THREE.
So he DOES draw Cream getting tied up, or about to have sex. A lot.
Though, to be sneaky and work around those Trolls who might make fun of him for drawing Cream so much, by drawing a fursona for a (girl)friend of his that looks exactly nothing like Cream the Rabbit. Most of the drawings of this fursona include his own fursona about to fuck her, but since she OBVIOUSLY looks exactly nothing like Cream the Rabbit and is OBVIOUSLY not supposed to be Cream, that makes it OK!
Alex/Ed The Hedgehog
Another recurring element you may notice if you lurk Spax's account enough, would be his ORIGINAL fursona character - a Sonic the Hedgehog recolor INSPIRED character, who a hoodie sweatshirt wearing half-hedegehog, half-cockroach (seriously).
Spax claims that this character is ALSO part of his copyright, and CANNOT BE USED without his permission as it is HIS ORIGINAL CREATION. If you were to call bullshit on that, and say that it's just Sonic the Hedgehog with different spikes and a fucking sweatshirt - you would be correct.
Website
One more aspect Spax's amazing life is his original website idea, where he and a bunch of other unfunny nobodies get together and make shitty reviews and rants about stupid shit that no one cares about. Like his angry game reviews, this was another one of his brilliant, original ideas that nobody had tried before. I mean, some dumb troll might say that it's a horrible TGWTG rip-off, but what do those idiots know?
Visit the site if you dare, but for the love of god, don't click on any of the videos - don't give these morons any money for their shit.
Content
Spax uses this website to spread around some of his wonderful content, including:
- That's our Nima - the single most terrible thing conceived by a human being. It's a horrible, unfunny show where he "satires" people he knows online, because it's LULZY.
- E3 Conference - Interviews with lots of FAMOUS PEOPLE he found while chilling and performing Video Game Journalism.
- Voice Actor Interviews - Spax stalking any voice actor, even remotely related to anything he happens to like - be it Sonic The Hedgehog or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
People
Some of the amazingly talentless, unfunny fucks who do shit for the site:
- BigAl - A disgusting, fat piece of shit who rants about anime and how it's ruined forever. Also does unfunny commentaries on some dumb bitch who cooks terrible food, or something.
- Mike Maverick - Another disgustingly fat person (this one's a negro) who does shitty, unfunny reviews.
- ChibiNekoDemyx - A terrible, terrible, terrible person, who (shock!) makes shitty unfunny reviews.
- Macks - A 12-year-old fatass kid, who thinks that he's hip 'n' shit with online culture, by making wacky random humorous videos which obviously equal as EPIC TROLLING, and is the self-referred "only TGTZ member who isn't a complete faggot". This is a false statement though.
- Guru Larry, A.K.A. Screwattack Europe - An unfunny britfag, who's only notable accomplishment is making LULZY CHRIS-CHAN JOKES XD!!! Makes shitty reviews.
- Wizwar100, A.K.A. The Asian on the site - Not getting enough ass poundings from the internet so far, he decided that the utlimate embarrassment would be to associate himself with this website, to represent his eastern culture.
- Travolta3335 - An Absolute nobody. He does nothing.
Forum
The forum of TGTZ (not at all like TGWTG) was once THE place to discuss different techniques of creating custom Sonic Character fuck-dolls, the health benefits of eating one's shit, and praising Spax's amazing leadership.
It's fucking dead now, though, consisting of nothing but the site's staff circlejerking amongst themselves, to an audience of 1 person.
Gallery
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Sexy bad boy
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Sexy thumb
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Sexy and LULZY asian hat
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Sexy rape face
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Spax chillin with his pals at E3 (the ones who got in, anyway)
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xDDDDDDDD
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ORIGINAL ARTWORK. DO NOT STEAL.
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Spax's illustration of his sister.
Gallery: Cosplay Faggotry Edition
See Also
- Sonmanic - Arch nemesis of Spax3 who is currently looking to hire an assassin to execute him (srsly!)
- Benthelooney - Another aspie who likes Cartoon Network
- Mariotehplumber - Another Sonic fanboy except he hates every Sonic game made after the Genesis era and he's not even a true Sonic fan either
External Links
Business Links
Video Links
- The Spax Archive. Archiving all of Spax's videos.
spax3 - His ORIGINAL YouTube Account.TheHoodie1 - Died Spax's YouTube account.HoodieDrunkito - YouTube account #2- TehHoodieD - YouTube account #3
- GamerSpax - Current Youtube channel
- Spax's Blip.tv Account. Where he CURRENTLY hosts his videos.
- Spax's Revver Account. Where he USED to host his videos.
- Spax's Dailymotion account. He had 1 game review here, at one time.
DeviantART Links
spaction3 - Old accountspax3 - Second old Account.- gamerspax - Current Account.
- SRMTHFG Fanclub.
- 2nd Drawn Together Fanclub.
- HikariTail Fanclub. - A fanclub for a DA user.
- cosmo-fans - Cosmo Fanclub.
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