Tourneyfag

Tourneyfags, short for "Tournament Faggots", are singlehandedly the most embarrassing things to ever rear their distended heads into the world of video gaming--even more embarrassing than being caught masturbating to Dead or Alive by your grandmother. Tourneyfags like to take flawless video games such as Super Smash Bros. Melee and beat the living shit out of it with completely unnecessary rules. Now that Brawl is available, their unnecessary revisions result in not so much Super Smash Bros. Brawl, but Super Smash Bros. BAWWWWWWW.

At these tournaments, all the basement-dwellers get together with their Gamecubes and spend several hours ~~circle jerking~~ waiting to touch a damn controller and actually play the game in the biggest sausage fest on Earth. After your five to eight minutes of playing, you get to wait several more hours to play again, unless you lost your last match, in which case you can either leave or stay and watch the rabid fanboyism. Either way, the day will end with you alone in your basement, crying, and wondering where your life went wrong.

All tourneyfags desperately want Super Smash Bros. to be a competitive fighting game like Street Fighter, but of course this will never happen, since the game is completely geared towards casualfags. In fact, most self-imposed tourneyfag rules are aimed towards making the game more like Street Fighter anyway. So why don't they just play Street Fighter? The answer is simple: they're retarded autists who love Nintendo's shitty characters. Note that there are no Japanese tourneyfags, because they're too smart to try and play an obvious party/casual game as a competitive fighting game.

APEX is the biggest Super Smash Bros. tournament. Hundreds of tourneyfags shows up, desperately trying to convince the rest of the world that they aren't completely wasting their time by taking a casual party game way too much seriously.

	“	People who complain about tourneyfags to me are like the fucking idiots who want to play sports with their friends, but suck at it, so they bitch and complain until everyone takes it easy on them, so they can win without even putting in any practice or dedication. What a bunch of fucking babies.	„
	—Typical Tourneyfag indirectly describing themselves to a tee

	“	WE'RE PLAYING FOOTBALL, YOU FAGORT, TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF AND HOP ON YOUR BIG TOE DOWN THE FIELD WHILE I BEAT YOU WITH THIS BASEBALL BAT, IT'S THE WAY THE GAME WAS MEANT TO BE PLAYED!!1	„
	— Tourneyfag Football Rules.

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Typical Tourneyfag Battle

Types of Tourneyfags

File:Tourneyfag shitty comic.png

Casualfag - These are the type of people who show up to tournaments with absolutely no idea what any of the rules are and provoke the ensuing wrath of the Typical Tourneyfags; they may even choose their favorite character. They may actually defeat some of the Typical Tourneyfags since they're more or less on the same level of skillz. The only thing that really separates them is whether or not they actually bothered to memorize the rules. There's a 50/50 chance that the Casual Fag will get sucked into the never ending spiral of self-destruction that is Tourney-faggotry or leave the scene forever as they realized that tourneyfags fail hard.

The Professional - These most likely azn players have dedicated their lives into getting really good at playing the game. You stand no chance against them unless you are a Professional Tourneyfag like they are, in which case you're just as much a loser as them. They know all the rules by heart, and have carefully calculated every statistic to give them the mathematical advantage over their opponent. Normally these Tourneyfags are saving their virginity for Zelda or Princess Peach, and have a severe case of basement dweller-ism. Despite all this, they're not all that annoying, because they're able to shut the fuck up for a few minutes.

Typical Tourneyfag - This type of Tourneyfag is not as dedicated as the Professional, but they're really damn close to failing just as hard as them. They use their favorite character while acknowledging their disadvantages, but occasionally choose a less popular character simply for the sake of wanting to win, with no intention of having any fun. They tend to disagree with some of the rules unless they want to ass kiss the moron who wrote them. They're the most annoying type of Tourneyfag, because they're fucking everywhere. You can most likely find them foaming at the mouth while yelling at someone.

B& FAGGOT! U R NOT FAIR AND BALANCED!!1

Dont U touch dat INNOVASHUN!!1

A tourneyfag saying he is NOT a tourneyfag? Oh wow.

Keep banning characters! That'll fix it!

Do you have a favorite character, a favorite stage, and/or a favorite item? There's a ~~98%~~ 100% chance that the Tourneyfags have banned all three from being used. Why? To be simply put, they do it to make the game "fair and balanced." For example, certain stages provide "unfair defensive positions" (ie: the far right cloud in Yoshi's Island). The correct thing to do when a person has an "unfair defensive position" is run over, kick their fucking ass, and TAKE THE DAMN POSITION. What the Tourneyfags prefer to do is bitch and moan about it until the stage is banhammered. That's why Tourneyfags are gay for Final Destination, there are no "unfair defensive positions."

Items are also banned. Sometimes just certain items that give "unfair advantages" like the superstar or hammer which makes a character invincible, or items that replenish heath. What the Tourneyfags fail to realize is that items randomly spawn, meaning that your character has just as good a chance to nab an item as another character does. Deactivating items is a matter of preferences, but the Tourneyfags are emo bitches about it.

Characters have been getting banned, too. T̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶u̶r̶r̶e̶n̶t̶ ̶d̶e̶b̶a̶t̶e̶ ̶g̶o̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶u̶r̶n̶e̶y̶f̶a̶g̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶m̶u̶n̶i̶t̶y̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶a̶n̶ ̶M̶e̶t̶a̶k̶n̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶l̶e̶t̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ ̶s̶t̶a̶y̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶g̶a̶m̶e̶.̶ DISREGARD THAT, METAKNIGHT IS NOW BANNED. Tourneyfags, however, would ban anything just to have the game "balanced", so expect your favorite characters getting the banhammer soon.

There is no video game in existence that's perfectly "fair and balanced;" players are always going to find exploits and ways that certain characters can be made more powerful than the rest. Tourneyfags simply water down the game until they're left with this gray, mushy abortion that Nintendo never wanted in the first place.

	“	What I don't understand about tourneyfags is, wouldn't being best at the game mean you just dominate all aspects of it? Wouldn't being the best mean that no matter what items or settings there were, you could adapt and overcome?	„
	—Anonymous Casualfag, being a non-faggot.

Smashboards

The tourneyfag lifecycle being ended by contact with a female

SmashBoards, the primary focus of this article, is a Super Smash Bros dedicated forum full of these tourneyfags that call themselves "Pro Smash Players". Most of the topics on this forum are arguments about whether Brawl or Melee is better, so-called facts that are really just opinions without any actual basis behind them, and Brawl screenshots that claim to be funny, such as Solid Snake's ass, or the inevitable Princess Peach pantyshot. They do not take very kindly to newfags, as they are often shit upon and blacklisted from every VIP forum if they are unable to interpret any of their inside jokes and/or jargon; most of these are viewable here.

They make T-shirts out of their memes
They think it's funny
Crimson King's avatar pic foreshadows the inevitable act of an hero
Tourneyfags are also open to extreme Butthurt

A Quick Guide

In closing, nine out of ten stages are banned. Don't believe it? Do the math yourself.

5/41 stages are acceptable

You Probably Suck at Smash

5Masahiro Sakurai, expert troll and game designer of Brawl gave the tourneyfags the finger when he unveiled the "Special Brawl" mode. This is an example of Stamina Mega Flower Curry Heavy Slow Angled Brawl

	“	Anyone who thinks that the pros don't have stupid glitches to hide in anymore, and that they're destined to fall, doesn't know anything about any competition, let alone Melee. Tourneyfags will ALWAYS find new glitches to exploit, like Mortarsliding, and we WILL reign supreme.	„
	—Tourneyfag Commander, defending his legion of assholes' inability to play a game the way it was meant to be played by the creators.

This game is broken.

This game is really broken.

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Brawl: Unsuitable for Tourney

Does this new level fit the Tourneyfag seal of approval?

Super Smash Brothers BAWWWWW!!1!

Iwata Asks: Brawl

Truth

Masahiro Sakurai takes another jab at the tourneyfags, hitting them where it hurts most.

Use this picture as Tourneyfag Kryptonite.

In January 2008, before Super Smash Bros. Brawl hit shelves in Godzilla Land, wii.com began to post a series of interviews between Masahiro Sakurai, the creator of Smash Bros., and Satoru Iwata, the president of Nintendo. In the third installment of the interview, the two touched on the topic of online gameplay: how to create an unlulzy atmosphere free of harassment, but more importantly, how they could stick it to the tourneyfags. Online play was created with the casual gaming faggots in mind, which shouldn't be a surprise given Nintendo's targeting that demographic specifically.

	“	..online gaming had always been a place for the strong. One person [tourneyfags] would be living it up while hundreds or thousands of people [casual gamers] were unhappy... as long as things remain this way, online gaming can spread only so far. ...Even if people thought [the game] looked interesting, most would hesitate to get involved and stay lingering on the sidelines. ... [Brawl] would be more about the fun of sharing rather than simply competing. ... Those in the top five might feel pretty good about themselves, but what happens if you’re number 15,398 in the rankings? People considered formidable in their own particular community wouldn’t be the least bit pleased.	„
	—Satoru Iwata, saying Casualfags > Tourneyfags

	“	When people think of playing Smash Bros. online, they think about battling opponents to see what happens based on their record of wins or losses, or about holding tournaments online. But I felt that this would make it a service from which only a select group of players [tourneyfags] could derive enjoyment. For Smash Bros., there are small communities here and there where there’s fun in winning and losing, even when there are more skilled players than others. But if you make an environment where everyone is trying to climb their way to the top of a single tall mountain, it’s clear that the people having fun would be limited to a small number of individuals.	„
	— Satoru Iwata, owning Tourneyfags

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Tourneyfags Invading Other Situations

FINAL DESTINATION FGT About missing Pics

FUCK YEAH FISHING
Final Exams
Girlfriend
Final Fantasy

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Pizza
Monopoly
Hospital
Medal of Honor
Megaman
Funeral
Rapture
Left 4 Dead
Boxing
Godhand
Lucky Star
EFG is doing it WRONG!!1
Idk, my bff Jill?
Some people think this meme is stupid...
...others beg to differ.
At Harvey's, there's a burger with your name on it.
...there are no words that can describe this tragedy from mytrickster.net, except: "LOL EPIC WINZ EPIC WIN LUZL XD~~~~~~~ kawaii" and "LOL SO RANDOM YOUR SO FUNNY OMFG >< MAKE MORE KAWAII ^^"
Falco/Ridley vs. Pichu/Tourneyfag
Tourneyfag goes golfing: Part 1
Tourneyfag goes golfing: Part 2
Tourneyfag goes golfing: Part 3
Mario Kart Wii
Animal Crossing
Ye Ende of Locations
Verbose Tourneyfag
featuring Ike
Masturbation
Tourneyfag as a kid (Part I)
More Tourneyfag as a kid (Part II)
Sparta
Counter-Strike

Memorable Quotes

All a tourneyfag has to hear is the word "casual", and he forgets that he has to think.

	“	A few items like motion-sensor bombs, super scopes, and bombs can dramatically unbalance gameplay.	„
	—Typical Tourneyfag being a fucking crybaby.

	“	You can't practice "luck". You can't choose to have "luck". it wouldn't be fair to the person who actually tries to win and puts his all into it to lose because a pill that JUST SO HAPPENED TO BE FUCKING EXPLOSIVE kills him, or that a bomb-omb that JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE NEXT TO HIM kills him, or that sort of ilk.	„
	—A Tourneyfag that JUST SO HAPPENS to be unable to get out of the way.

	“	There fact that it is possible to turn off items presumably means that some matches were meant to be played with them off. No one likes them in tournies because it allows the weaker player to win if they get sufficiently lucky, and when there is a prize for the ultimate winner, that sucks balls.	„
	—No Tourney player can handle items on a stage ever.

	“	Are you talking about wavedashing? I don't consider it a glitch, but I digress. Wavedashing is a short burst of movement that only a handful of characters can take advantage of. Not exactly game breaking.	„
	—Not exactly game breaking, but Tourneyfags can't win without it.

	“	If the choice is either full on tourneytard or ultra-casual not even caring who wins, I'll go tourney myself. The whole point of competition is to do your best to win. If you're not trying your hardest, go read a book, take a nap, anything else that doesn't have winners and losers.	„
	—In a Smash Brothers tournament, there are no winners.

	“	If you want to hit four buttons over and over for your free kill, go eat a cake or do something else that's really easy and gives simple gratification.	„
	—A Tourneyfag on waveshining

	“	lol @ casual "gamers" I love how people participate in a hobby the suck balls at and think they count. Casual "gamers" are no better than fanfiction writers or deviantfags who draw pictures of Spongebob fucking Haruhi.	„
	—A Tourneyfag, on the Wii's target audience.

	“	Yea, but a random change in the stage, though you know its coming can turn a strategy over and everybody knows that if you're so into the game the fact you have to jump to a platform instead of hitting your enemy is going to piss you off, thats why all tourney fags use maps you can Waveshine on	„
	—A Tourneyfag preferring a game where he doesn't have to move.

	“	the point of a tournament is being able to fight each other without any sort of outside influence affecting the fight, to show who is more skilled than another. having an "off day" has nothing to do with being skilled or trying your hardest, and shouldn't have to affect a regular, balanced fight.	„
	—A Tourneyfag who's obviously never heard of Street Fighter.

	“	it removes the more random parts of it to try and make it into a more balanced fighter. it takes away what makes it a casual, jump-in sort of game, and molds it into the kind of game that can be practiced, the kind of game that actually is at least more equal. some people find a battle of equality, where no one can get an upper hand due to a retarded deus ex machina, and where the only thing that you can be graded on is how well you can execute your moves and keep focused. but of course, NOPE, IT HAS TO HAVE BOB-OMBS AND SUPER FLAT ZONE AND BE COMPLETELY RANDOM AND WACKY LOL TO BE FUN ^^ DESU-NE. die slowly in a fire.	„
	—A Tourneyfag who can't handle a real fighting game has to make Smash Bros. the same.

	“	Tourneyfags are the shit killing ALL video games in general. They can't handle the heat of items so they turn it off. They can't handle the way a map works so they ban it. They can't handle the way a character outmatches Fox so they ban it. But they don't ban bugs and exploits....right and WE'RE the scrubs"	„
	—A Casualfag describing Tourneyfags perfectly.

	“	Fixing the game so the only stages or methods of gameplay you can use benefits a grand total of maybe five characters tops doesn't seem like "fair and even" to me. What about characters like Mewtwo, who benefit from items and are thus totally fucking shafted? or characters who would do well on moving stages who are once again fucked for Final Destination/Battlefield? Balancing the game in favor of certain characters doesn't seem like balancing it at all, it seems like fucking it up.	„
	—Captain Obvious

	“	SSB is the tourneytard game for faggots who suck at every other FIGHTAN GAEM in existence. Basically SSB tournaments are a desperate grasp for some kind of achievement in their pathetic lives.	„
	—Moar truth

	“	50 dollars for two characters and one stage. Sounds like a solid investment, eh what? :D	„
	—Indeed

	“	(On needing items to use Zero Suit Samus) "I'm boycotting this game guaranteed now. Wavedashing or not, that's just completely stupid. I in no way trust sakurai anymore and hope he dies.	„
	—Forcing a Tourneyfag to use items is like shoving a cake in an oven.

	“	But I guess I'm not getting anywhere with proving the greatness of competitive Smash. So I'll propose a challenge to anyone on this thread who doesn't like competive smash.When Brawl comes out, I'll play anyone in a best out of 5, no items. If I lose, I'll never post on these boards again(I'm dead serious) but if I win, then the person(s) must admit that competive smash is awsome.	„
	—A scrub Tourneyfag. Notice how he admits he can't win with items on.

	“	I especially love the "real men use items" Tag thing. Makes sense, I guess peace is a "Real Man" now, idiots. By this item logic "Real men" suck at the game too. Whoever Nate is, I'll trash him.	„
	—Tourneyfags aren't real men. Their words, not ours.

	“	Yes, we're using items. We'll discuss this further in the faction forum but i'm making sure this clan stays as tourneyfag free as possible, and the only way to do that is to make all stages usuable and items mandatory.	„
	—A Casualfag on making his game fair and balanced.

	“	You future and downfall in Smash has been writtin in that [above] post. There's no better way in declaring that you suck other than of that statement you posted.	„
	—Except for banning stages and characters you can't beat

	“	cause ull lose? and who said i would lose with items? im a sniper with items id pwn ur ass all over the place. and what do u have against fox? afraid of getting shined off the stage? i can do that with items on and on any stage.	„
	—A Tourneyfag lying out of his ass.

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Tourneyfag Jargon

Post this in Tourneyfag hives.

HA HA HA, OH WOW

Masahrio Sakurai yet again shows tourneyfags how Brawl is supposed to be played.

Tourneyfags think they are so awesome by having a lot of esoteric and gay jargon roughly equivalent to memes:

Azndash: Azndash is based after a person who failed horribly and "wavedashed" off a stage.
BK: Bk is a phrase used by fat tourneyfags which means "bad kid".
Bowsercide/Koopa Kamikaze: In Brawl, Bowser has a special move that allows him to grab a foe, jump up, and squash them with his fat body. If he jumps up while over an edge, both characters will plummet into the pit. Other variants include DKcide, Kirbicide, and Regecide (Ganon and King Dedede).
Edgehog: The act of waiting for your opponent to get close to the edge after you send them flying, at which point you jump off and grab said edge just before they do, thus causing the foe to helplessly plummet to their doom, since only one person can hang from the ledge at a time. Unlike other tourneyfag techniques, performing this requires minimal skill.
Jiggs: Faggy way of saying Jigglypuff.
Knee: Since all tourneyfags are gay for Captain Falcon, one of his moves, the "knee", is constantly hailed as awesome by the tourneyfags solely because they have fantasies of Captain Falcon raping their asshole with his knee.
L-Canceling/Washdashing/Dash Dancing etc: Glitchy faggotry that Melee fags believe is skill.
Mindgames: Since tourneyfags thnk thy r soh smrt, they've created a "Mindgames" class of play in which you do some fancy move to distract your opponent.
Scrub: People who don't follow tourneyfag rules.
Shining: A tourneyfag's greatest dream. Fox has to get you in a corner, and press down-B many times. Final Destination remains the only available and unbanned stage because of this.
Shorthop/Fast-Fall Lag Cancel: Since Smash Bros. is a "Serious Fighting Game" and the characters need to be really, really fast, Tourneyfags decided to remove jumping via this method.
Stafy, why are you here?: A forced meme started by the SmashBoards based on a podcast, which, after much circle jerking, the Smashtards pointed out Stafy's general uselessness and Sakurai's Hate for anything remotely similar to his ideas. Despite this being true, it was never funny. Never. Still repeated by SmashBoards visitors as if it were awesome.
Tipper: Hitting opponents with the tip of a weapon.
Tier List: A ranking of characters divided into categories by perceived strength at the highest level of play, assuming that both players are equally skilled, with the usual rules of no items and Final Destination.
Tires don exits: A meme made by the tourneyfags. Misspelled "Tiers Don't Exist", Tourneyfags have adopted it as "hilarious" because to them, only idiots would criticize Melee. They've also made a t-shirt.

Notable Tourneyfags

This is what tourneyfags believe

Being the favorite Smash Bros. player is important to every Tourneyfag, even in forum polls.

A2ZOMG: A delusional Tourneyfag that thinks that tiers are made for the lulz. He calls himself a Casualfag because he doesn't have time for tournaments.

Dylan Tnga: Everyone but him is a fukken scrub.

Ken Hoang: A pro Tourneyfag who is also an azn. Every Tourneyfag is gay for Ken and would gladly yiff with him. He won 40,000 DOLLARS AT A SMASH TOURNEY OMG. He is an Important Person and needs to be focused on for every smash fan. Lulz at this Smash Site writing an essay on his life. Notice he is a faggot and should be shot. If you see him on the street, gladly do so. He is also known to avoid tournaments he knows he will be raped in, which is pretty much the most of it. Spoilers: Ken is revealed to have a casualfag side to him, as he LURVES items and entered Evo2k8 because they were using items, and butthurt finally hit the tourneyfag community as he lost to a 14-year-old casualfag who played as WALL-E. Ken has recently been accepted as a contestant on the CBS reality TV series "Survivor" in a lulzworthy move worthy of Sakurai himself. Much hilarity is expected from him bitching about how the other tribe are "item-using scrubs." Somehow, he finished in the top five, when finally the rest of the contestants just got tired of his tourneyfag bullshit and voted him off.

The Buzz Saw: Like most Tourneyfags, Buzz believes that low tiers can never beat a high tier character, which is ironic considering his main was Young Link. He has a blog someplace that no one reads, but it's amusing to see his pseudo-intellegent cases for why "competitive melee" is somehow not retarded.

RDK: Tribal war god of tourneyfags. Either you agree with him and join the ranks of mindwashed minions or you're a fucking scrub.

Nesshelper: Retarded tourneyfag. Literally.

Rina-chan: Weeaboo bitch that goes to these sausagefests as an attempt to get attention.

Mew2King: Considered to be the king of Smash Brothers. Every tourneyfags dream is to see this guy in person so they may give him fellatio. Is now an embarrassment because he gets his ass kicked by some Canadian. Also known to receive rimjobs from fellow tourneyfags Inui and MasterDave/Izumi. As known by his name, he's is a BIG FAN of Mewtwo, but he dosen't main him because he's FUCKIN LOW TIER!!! Talk about being a "Mew2king", Eh?

Inui: Thinks he is the BEST Smash player EVAR, and a total ELITIST. Likes to frequent Fire Emblem boards, because he is the best at that too. One day a member on one (1) of those forums was sick of his shit and decided to UNLEASH THE FUCKING FURY (2) on him. Needless to say he was totally butthurt. Worth noting is that he regularly gives rimjobs to Mew2King (THEY'RE BEST FREIDNS!!!!1!), being his personal sex slave. Oh yeah, he's also a Moderator on ALL IS BRAWL, WHICH IS A REALLY BIG DEAL.

Deva: A tourneyfag that plays as Link, but hates at because Link is one of the biggest piece of shit in the Smash series! The only reason he plays has him because he is a Link fanboy and sucks Link's cock every night

Armada: Some German Shota tourneyfag who plays as that whore peach. Most noted for coming to an american tourney and raping every tournefags in sed country. Biggest lulz came from beating tourneyfag favorite mew2king. Of course his legion of cockcksuckers came to his defense and made up a shit load of excuse (he was exhausted, BAAAAAAAAW! HE DIDNT PICK SHEIK!) as to why he lost to a minor who barely knew how to fucking speak english. Rumored to be hired and trained by sakurai to piss off and discourage tourney play.

Tourneyfagism in other games

A summary of this section

THEY RUIN EVERYTHING

Besides Super Smash Bros., there are other games that tourneyfags make more "balanced and fair". This often involves taking a game that was never designed to be balanced, difficult, or competitive, and adding a laundry list of STOP USING THAT! Always combined with smug autistic elitism and condescension.

About every single FPS - NO GRENADES, NO LANDMINES, NO VEHICLES, NO COVERED STAGES, KNIFE/HANDGUN ONLY FINAL DESTINATION FGT
Half-Life series - NO CROWBARS, NO GRAVITY GUN, NO ALYX, NO DOG, NO HEV SUIT ONLY FINAL DESTINATION FGT
Halo series - NO ALIEN WEAPONS, NO SHIELDS, NO CLOAKS, RADARS OFF, SET STARTING WEAPONS, CHIEF ONLY, MAX DAMAGE FINAL DESTINATION FGT
Metroid - NO MISSILES, NO SUPER MISSLES, NO PLASMA BEAM, NO ICE BEAM, NO WAVE BEAM, NO BOMBS, NO POWER BOMBS, NO VARIA SUIT, NO GRAVITY SUIT, POWER BEAM ONLY FINAL DESTINATION FGT (NOTE: Pretty much every Metroid game starts out this way. Also cocks.)
Assassin's Creed series - NO FREE-RUNNING, NO STEALTH KILLS, NO LEAPS OF FAITH, NO SIDEQUESTS, FISTS ONLY FINAL DESTINATION FGT
Oblivion - NO MAGIC, NO WEAPONS, NO ARMOR, NO FAST TRAVEL/HORSES, NO FACTION QUEST THREADS, HAND TO HAND ONLY FINAL DESTINATION FGT
Bioshock - NO PLASMIDS, NO GUNS, NO RESEARCH UPGRADES, NO HACKING, WRENCH ONLY FINAL DESTINATION FGT
Pokémon - NO SAME ITEMS, NO DOUBLE TEAM/MINIMIZE/OHKO, NO UBERS, NO EVOLVED FORMS, SLEEP CLAUSE, FREEZE CLAUSE, SELF-KO CLAUSE, LEVEL 50 MAXIMUM, SKARMBLISS ONLY FINAL DESTINATION FGT. Also: "WTF, that item/Pokemon beat me?! Well, it's broken, so BANNED!" (Typical tourneyfag response to any strategy that has ever worked)
Magic: the Gathering - NO CHEAP CREATURES, NO BIG CREATURES, NO COUNTERSPELLS, NO CAVERN OF SOULS, BAN JACE, BAN BLOODBRAID ELF, NETDECKS ONLY, NO ORIGINALITY, SAYING GOOD GAME IS AN INSULT, STOP LOOKING AT THE ART, BLUE ONLY FINAL DESTINATION FGT
Resident Evil 4 - NO INFINITE LAUNCHER CHICAGO TYPEWRITER OR HANDCANNON, NO BUYING AWESOME WEAPONS FROM MERCHANT, KNIFE ONLY FINAL DESTINATION FGT
Street Fighter - NO JUMPING, NO PROJECTILES, NO ANTI-AIRS, NO SUPERS, NO TAUNTING, NO BLOCKING, NO SWEEPING, ZANGIEF ONLY FINAL DESTINATION FGT
Fire Emblem - NO RNG ABUSE, NO LOW TIER, NO ARENAS, NO BOSS CHIPPING, LOW TURN COUNTS ONLY FINAL DESTINATION FGT
Mass Effect series - NO RIFLES/HEAVY WEAPONS, NO BIOTICS, NO PARAGON/RENEGADE ACTIONS, NO SHIP UPGRADES, NO ROMANCES, PISTOLS ONLY FINAL DESTINATION FGT
Doom - NO RUNNING, NO WEAPONS, NO ITEMS, NO BARRELS, FIST ONLY FINAL DESTINATION FGT
Tetris - NO I- J- L- S- Z- OR T-PIECES, O-PIECES ONLY, HARD-DROP ONLY FINAL DESTINATION FGT
Dead or Alive - NO SEXY COSTUMES, NO PATRIARCHY, NO BONERS, FEMINISTS ONLY FINAL DESTITNATION FGT
(Insert Game of Choice Here) - NO FUN, AD HOC RULES, UNNECESSARY LIMITATIONS, SERIOUS BUSINESS ONLY FINAL DESTINATION FGT