Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.

Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Cyberpunk 2077: Difference between revisions

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
imported>ZoneDart
No edit summary
imported>ZoneDart
No edit summary
Line 1: Line 1:
{{spoilers| You can't play this game unless you have 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999kg PC, or else your fucked}}
{{spoilers| You can't play this game unless you have 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999kg PC, or else your fucked}}
{{Stub}}
 
[[File: Cyberpunk 2077.jpg|right|thumb| Fail]]
[[File: Cyberpunk 2077.jpg|right|thumb| Fail]]



Revision as of 02:54, 17 May 2021

Fail

""Cyberpunk 2077"" was supposed the biggest game evar made by the once thought be god and savior CD Projekt Red. People were hyped over everything about this game. They would loose there shit from a glimpse of this game. People were breathtaking from Keanu Reeves

When the game came out it turns out that no one could fucking play it, unless your rich as fuck. Neckbeard gamers rage everywhere burst into flames, having a meltdown everywhere. Spamming everywhere online about how "CD PROJEKT RED ARE TRAITORS" and humanity is doomed. Sony took the game of the PlayStation Store and to stop more cancerous gamers from emerging (not "good guy" Microsoft, their greedy) and all companies gave out refund. CD Projekt Red is now under investigation and class action lawsuits from the FBI for fraud. The world will be in rage for rest of time as people will never forget about CD Projekt Reds forbidden crimes.

Reveal

Cyberpunk 2077 started development before the Xbox One and PlayStation 4 were out. It was first shown off to the public in 2013.

Keanu Reeves

ALERT: THIS IS A FORCED MEME
Breathtaking Keanu Reeves will be posted by the same
unfunny newfag until you like it.

At E3 people saw a trailer that made their worship for CD Project Red skyrocket, but then Keanu Reeves gets on stage and people lost their shit.

This lead to unfunny memes being spammed on Reddit.

Keanu Reeves memes About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
{{{5}}}

The Mix it Up AD

A virgin who will never get dick in his entire life, drew a picture of sexualized transexual person to placed on the wall as an advertisement in Cyberpunk 2077. A SJW on Twatter got offended over a sexualized transexual on the wall.

Many Snowflakes saw the tweet and got pissed over sexualizing a transexual person, the artist goes on a woke rambling spree in a interview by Polygon.

   
 
Why was a trans model used in this particular advertisement?
 

 
 

—Polygun

   
 
Personally, for me, this person is sexy, I like how this person looks. However, this model is used — their beautiful body is used — for corporate reasons. They are displayed there just as a thing, and that’s the terrible part of it. In [the year] 2077, especially with how much body modifications are available, I think people just mix and match however they want, however they feel, “And even society is more open to different kinds of relationships.Cyberpunk 2077 is a dystopian future where megacorporations dictate everything, They try to, and successfully, influence people’s lives. They shove products down their throats. They create those very aggressive advertisements that use, and abuse, a lot of people’s needs and instincts. So, hypersexualization is apparent everywhere, and in our ads there are many examples of hypersexualized women, hypersexualized men, and hypersexualized people in between. This is all to show that [much like in our modern world], hypersexualization in advertisements is just terrible, It was a conscious choice on our end to show that in this world — a world where you are a cyberpunk, a person fighting against corporations. That [advertisement] is what you’re fighting against. I would say it was never the intention to offend anyone, However, with this image of an oversexualized person, we did want to show how oversexualization of people is bad. And that’s it. I think that sexy bodies are sexy. Full disclosure: I love female bodies. I love male bodies. I love bodies in between. This is who I am. However, I hate it when it’s used commercially. And that’s exactly what we want to show by doing this exactly, by showing how big corporations use people’s bodies against them. We need it,” Redesiuk said. “I honestly think we need it because we need more acceptance in the world, and we need to also show how the goodness of people is sometimes used against them. And I would really love for the world to change and be a better place for everyone.
 

 
 

— Perma-Virgin

WHEN WILL IT COME OUT?

Up until it's release Cyberpunk 2077 was delayed multiple times to troll people into thinking it's actually the cure to all. CD Projekt Red said this.

   
 
We are currently at a state where the game is complete and playable, but there's still work to be done. Night City is massive--full of stories, content, and places to visit, but due to the sheer scale and complexity of it all, we need more time to finish playtesting, fixing, and polishing. We want Cyberpunk 2077 to be our crowning achievement for this generation and postponing launch will give the precious months we need to make the game perfect.
 

 
 

—CockDick Projekt Red

While the loyal followers were fine with these delays, this meant for all of people actually working on the game they will be starving to death at 3:00 AM at night eating their McDonalds with their filthy hands coding a bunch of shit into the game with no sleep or care by the boss, and that is if you can even get a McDonalds which isn't very likely as you will never be able to go outside. But who cares CD Projekt is are god we must follow everything are savior does.

Release

One day on December 7th, 2020 people woke up ran down stairs forgetting about eating their breakfast because who the fuck want's to do stuff that actually matters and found a copy of Cyberpunk 2077 on the floor, then they put the disk in (or it's all ready downloaded for you if bought it digitally, or your a dumbass who forgot to preorder the game and bought it on Amazon now having wait to play the master achievement of the human races, or your the biggest fucking dumbass in the world and to go outside to your local store to buy the game because fuck everyone else I don't give a fuck about social distancing) to realize CD Projekt Red aren't god at all.

When the game came out it was playable on the most expensive PC and nothing else. They gave this computer to every reviewer so they can't see what it's like for everyone else.

No one else can fucking play this game, leading to outrage, war, terrorism and protests. People complained about the same shit as everyone else including.

  • I can't fucking play it.
  • I wasted $60 dollars
  • I must slaughter CD Project Red

CD Projekt Red once thought to god were now seen as traitors of the human race. Their company is now being burn into flames by their once followers. People went to peak apeshit over preordering game they would never be able to play. People started review bombing the game on Metacritic to the think that it will help CD Project realize that their the evil masterminds that they are.

People made millions of dogshit youtube videos that are exactly the same. People had such unrealistic expectations that they make a fit over base game not being the masterpiece it was supposed to be.

This led to Sony removing the game from the PlayStation Store, so CD Project Red won't be making jew-gold off people bitching about the game online and so they can fall down to the bottom of the class list.

   
 
SIE strives to ensure a high level of customer satisfaction, therefore we will begin to offer a full refund for all gamers who have purchased Cyberpunk 2077 via PlayStation Store. SIE will also be removing Cyberpunk 2077 from PlayStation Store until further notice.

Once we have confirmed that you purchased Cyberpunk 2077 via PlayStation Store, we will begin processing your refund. Please note that completion of the refund may vary based on your payment method and financial institution.
 


 
 

—Dumbass

Both Sony and Microsoft are offering refunds of the game for the lusers that actually bought the game. Will further CD Projekt Red fall into insanity.

Lawsuits

The FBI is suing CD Projekt Red for their crimes of pissing off outraged gamers. Do to their inability to tell people you need a PC at highest price possible. Leading Sony removing the game off the PlayStation Store, and both Sony and Microsoft giving refunds to anyone that bought the game. CD Projekt Red will loose their god status, therefore everything said was misleading.

A second lawsuit by the US Government occurred for their crimes against their people.

   
 
The Management Board of CD PROJEKT S.A. with a registered office in Warsaw (hereinafter referred to as “the Company”) hereby announces that it received confirmation from a law firm cooperating with the Company that a second civil class action lawsuit had been filed in the United States District Court for the Central District of California by a law firm acting on behalf of a group of holders of securities traded in the USA under the ticker symbols “OTGLY” and “OTGLF” and based on Company shares. The content of the claim, including its subject and scope, is the same as the one disclosed by the Company in Current Report 68/2020 of 25 December 2020.
 

 
 

—Americunt

The Government of Poland is also plans on suing CD Projekt Red to further kill thy CD Projekt Red as they keep loosing jew-gold earned from once followers as thy burn CD Projekt Red.

Apology

CD Projekt Red is falling down each day, as they loose more followers second by second. For their last shot at saving their dying company. They made a shitty apology for the game were they act like their god and they will never do wrong again.

Everyone saw through there plans and led to even more outcry and rage. They were mocked to death online for the fact not one person was smart enough to think they won't start giant outcry of losers.

The Hack

While many people were butthurt over not being able to play Cyberpunk 2077 after paying $60 dollars for it, one person was on a whole other level of butthartardation. This person actually spent the time to hack CD Projekt Red and steal a bunch of employees info and not just the entire games fucking source code, not just almost all of CD Projekt Reds games source codes (hell it could be all from what we know) but all the entire fucking engine to make their games. They data was sold for a starting price of 1 million dollars which ended up being 7 million dollars.

You can see the IQ of the hacker in the message he sent to CD Projekt Red when after he hacked the company.

   
 
@
Hello CD PROJEKT !

Your have been EPICALLY pwned!!

We have dumped FULL copies of your source code from your Perforce server for Cyberpunk 2077, Witcher 3, Gwent and the unreleased version of Witcher 3!!!

We have also dumped all your documents relating to accounting, administation, legal, HR, investor relations and more!

Also, we have encrypted all of your servers, but we understand that you can most likely recover from backups.

If we will not come to an agreement, then your source codes will be sold or leaked online and your documents will be sent to our contacts in gaming journalism. Your public image will go doen the shitter even more and people will see how you shitty your company functions. Investors will lose trust in your company and the stovk will dive down even lower!

You have 48 hours to contact us.
 


 
 

— The most cancerous failure at life basement-dweller to ever exist

CD Projekt Red posted on Twatter how they got hacked by this dumbass.

   
 
Yesterday we discovered that we have become a victim of a targeted cyber attack, due to which some of our internal systems have been compromised.

An unidentified actor gained unauthorized access to our internal network, collected certain data belonging to CD PROJEKT capital group, and left a ransom note the content of which we release to the public. Although some devices in our network have been encrypted, our backups remain intact. We have already secured our IT infrastructure and begun restoring the data.

We will not give in to the demands nor negotiate with the actor, being aware that this may eventually lead to the release of the compromised data. We are taking necessary steps to mitigate the consequences of such a release, in particular by approaching any parties that may be affected due to the breach. We are still investigating the incident, however at this time we can confirm that —to our best knowledge — the compromised systems did not contain any personal data of our players or users of our services.

We have already approached the relevant authorities, including law enforcement and the President of the Personal Data Protection Office, as well as IT forensic specialists, and we will closely cooperate with them in order to fully investigate this incident.
 


 
 

— CockDick Projekt Red

Some people were actually retarded enough to praise the hacker for finding all of CD Projekt Red info. While the rest rightfully mocked this cancer to are society.

Patches

What did they fix?

...

...

...

Nothing!

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
{{{5}}}

See Also

Cyberpunk 2077 is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron AlexisAaron BushnellAaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAngry GrandpaAnna Nicole SmithAnthony WarnerAsa CoonBrandon CrispBrian AdamsBurntfishieByuuChang WenCharmaine DragunCho Seung-HuiChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineDragoneerEazy-EEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyGeorge SodiniGizgizGleb KorablevGursimran KaurHappyCabbieHarambeH.P. LovecraftHeath LedgerJake DavisonJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonKate SpadeKitty0706Kurt CobainLemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLil PeepLiloLoki BlackfangLowtaxMia JaninMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceNathan GaleNautica MaloneNikita LytkinOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LópezRina PalenkovaRipperRobin WilliamsRonnie McNuttRudolph ZurickRyan PalmeterShawn WoolleyShayShuaibySol PaisStephen PaddockSteve StephensThomas Matthew CrooksTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler DumstorfVester FlanaganWilliam AtchisonXXXTentacion

Those Dying Alone

03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77A Man in BlackAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmy SchumerAndrew AllansonAngry JoeAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAntony AguilarApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxArgent009Arguecat3Arin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrian Richard ZaigerBrianna WuBroniesButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCatboyKamiCheeyevChloe SagalChris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCole AllenCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonCyraxxDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDarksydePhilDave ChapelleDave MustaineDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDillon CosseyDiogo MendesDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDnepropetrovsk maniacsDodgerofZionDogpatch PressDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868Dorian_GayDoug WalkerDrakonDrossRotzankDoomentioDustinEDP445EggyElon MuskEmer PrevostEmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogErtasVideosFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGather Against FateGeorge LopezGeosheaGhostGirlvinylGlobelampGoddessMilleniaGraykatGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777I Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles Cheongicze⁴rImma-The-DeerInkBunnyIsabella Loretta JankeJamil The KingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJINXDROWNEDJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJohnny SomaliJonathan McIntoshJonmonJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276Joshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinRPGKat DenningsKendall JennerKeegan SalisburyKathleen ToddKenny GlennKevin HavensKeffalsKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKrashedLaci GreenLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Leslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLogo KidsLordelthibarLow Tier GodLucian HodobocM. ChaosMAGAtsManchildrenMar9122MarblesMarioMario456MariotehplumberMarjan SiklicmasteroogwgayMatthew DavisMatthew NicholsonMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeowbarkMeganSpeaksMichael BattonMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMike SandyMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMumkey JonesMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250NawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNicholas ProsperNick BateNick BravoNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriObjectfagsOFWGKTAOnideus Mad HatterOnyx ForepawPacificoceanasiaPaigeGirlPaul FeigPaulie CalafioreParkourdude91Peter BrightPeter CoffinPeter ScullyPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPeluchin EntertainmentPMRantsPreachingthegospelQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRichard ReidRicki RavenRMG ProductionsRobert StaintonRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Ryan RouthSad FrogSammyClassicSonicFanSam PepperSarah ButtsSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSegacampSega KidSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSonic SaviorSonmanicSony-MaeSophie LabelleSpax3StormySuperlisamcbSusan BoyleTara StrongTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagTheOdd1sOutTheSockDetectiveTim BuckleyTJ LaneTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotVadeVinceintheBayWade FulpWeatherManKevinWesley!!!WoWfan4lifeWwwareaWeegeeisgoingtokillmXenuriaYandereDevYoshiwii1Youyoungbloodfantasy91ZazefZoe QuinnZone

Their Methods

9gagAdventure TimeAn HeroAIDSAnimuAlt-rightArt SchoolA-Log's Fanfictionask.fmAsperger's SyndromeAssigned MaleBath SaltsThe Big Bang TheoryBattle for Dream IslandBlackLivesMatterBlack metalBody PillowsBonziWORLDBitViewBoozeBullyingBuzzFeedChildren's CartoonsClown WorldComputer Science IIICosplayCumOnPrintedPics.ComCupheadDating SimsDead FriendDeath metalDeath penaltyDeltaruneDeviantARTDiscordDrugsEdginessENAFamily GuyFanFictionFeminismFedoraFidget spinnerThe Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurAffinityFurry ArtFun Shitposting WikiGarry's ModGenshin ImpactGoAnimate!GooglewhackingGorillazGothsGravity FallsGreen DayGreeny PhatomGrindcoreHackingHappy Madison ProductionsHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffHigh ScoreIncelcoreIndie musicInfantilismInsane Clown PosseIntrovertInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLeague of LegendsLegoLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMass ShootingsMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMGTOWMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNice GuyismNu metalOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesOverwatchPlastic CrapPlenty of Fish/r9k/Rick and MortyRobloxRule 34RuneScapeSchool ShootingsSecond LifeSelf-VictimizationShy Boys IRLSilk Screen Goku ShirtSlayerSlipknotSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeSource FilmmakerSouth ParkSoyjak.partySparkalloonSpeakoniaStar vs. the Forces of EvilSteven UniverseTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe Anytown ShowThe EntersphereThe SimsThey Might Be GiantsTomb RaiderToolTransformersTulpasTumblrTV Tropestwenty one pilotsUnchartedUncle GrandpaUncyclopediaUndertaleUnikittyUTTPVidLiiVirginityVirtual YouTubersVloggerheadsWatchMojo.comWeezerWikimaniaWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYIIK: A Post-Modern RPGYouTube

Cyberpunk 2077 is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.