Cyberpunk 2077

Fail

Cyberpunk 2077 was supposed the biggest game evar made by the once thought be god and savior CD Projekt Red. People were hyped over everything about this game. They would loose there shit from a glimpse of this game. People were breathtaken from Keanu Reeves.

When the game came out it turned out that no one could fucking play it, unless you are rich as fuck. Neckbeard gamers raged everywhere and burst into flames, having a meltdown and spamming everywhere online about how "CD PROJEKT RED ARE TRAITORS" and humanity is doomed. Sony took the game off the PlayStation Store and to stop more cancerous gamers from emerging all companies gave out refunds (not "good guy" Microsoft though, they're greedy). CD Projekt Red is now under investigation and class action lawsuits from the FBI for fraud. The world will be in rage for the rest of time as people will never forget about CD Projekt Red's forbidden crimes.

Reveal

Cyberpunk 2077 started development before the Xbox One and PlayStation 4 were out. It was first shown off to the public in 2013.

Keanu Reeves

	ALERT: THIS IS A FORCED MEME
	Breathtaking Keanu Reeves will be posted by the same unfunny newfag until you like it.

At E3 people saw a trailer that made their worship for CD Project Red skyrocket, but then Keanu Reeves got on stage and people lost their shit.

This lead to unfunny memes being spammed on Reddit.

Keanu Reeves memes About missing Pics

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The Mix it Up AD

A virgin who will never get dick in his entire life drew aa picture of a sexualized transsexual person that was placed on a wall as an advertisement in Cyberpunk 2077. A SJW on Twatter got offended over a sexualized transsexual on the wall.

Many snowflakes saw the tweet and got so pissed over this that the artist went on a woke rambling spree in an interview by Polygon.

	“	Why was a trans model used in this particular advertisement?	„
	—Polygun

	“	Personally, for me, this person is sexy, I like how this person looks. However, this model is used — their beautiful body is used — for corporate reasons. They are displayed there just as a thing, and that’s the terrible part of it. In [the year] 2077, especially with how much body modifications are available, I think people just mix and match however they want, however they feel, “And even society is more open to different kinds of relationships.Cyberpunk 2077 is a dystopian future where megacorporations dictate everything, They try to, and successfully, influence people’s lives. They shove products down their throats. They create those very aggressive advertisements that use, and abuse, a lot of people’s needs and instincts. So, hypersexualization is apparent everywhere, and in our ads there are many examples of hypersexualized women, hypersexualized men, and hypersexualized people in between. This is all to show that [much like in our modern world], hypersexualization in advertisements is just terrible, It was a conscious choice on our end to show that in this world — a world where you are a cyberpunk, a person fighting against corporations. That [advertisement] is what you’re fighting against. I would say it was never the intention to offend anyone, However, with this image of an oversexualized person, we did want to show how oversexualization of people is bad. And that’s it. I think that sexy bodies are sexy. Full disclosure: I love female bodies. I love male bodies. I love bodies in between. This is who I am. However, I hate it when it’s used commercially. And that’s exactly what we want to show by doing this exactly, by showing how big corporations use people’s bodies against them. We need it,” Redesiuk said. “I honestly think we need it because we need more acceptance in the world, and we need to also show how the goodness of people is sometimes used against them. And I would really love for the world to change and be a better place for everyone.	„
	— Perma-Virgin

WHEN WILL IT COME OUT?

Up until its release Cyberpunk 2077 was delayed multiple times to troll people into thinking it's actually the cure to everything. CD Projekt Red stated this:

	“	We are currently at a state where the game is complete and playable, but there's still work to be done. Night City is massive--full of stories, content, and places to visit, but due to the sheer scale and complexity of it all, we need more time to finish playtesting, fixing, and polishing. We want Cyberpunk 2077 to be our crowning achievement for this generation and postponing launch will give the precious months we need to make the game perfect.	„
	—CP Projekt Red

While the loyal followers were fine with these delays, this meant for all developers actually working on the game that they would be starving to death at 3:00 AM at night eating their McDonalds with their filthy hands coding a bunch of shit into the game with no sleep or care by the boss, and that is if you can even get a McDonalds which isn't very likely as you will never be able to go outside. But who cares CD Projekt are gods and we must follow everything our savior does.

Release

One day of December 7th, 2020 people woke up ran downstairs forgetting about eating their breakfast because who the fuck wants to do stuff that actually matters and found a copy of Cyberpunk 2077 on the floor, then they put the disk in the tray (or it's already downloaded for you if bought digitally, you're a dumbass who forgot to preorder the game and bought it on Amazon now having to wait to play the master achievement of the human race or you are the biggest fucking dumbass in the world and went outside to your local store to buy the game because fuck everyone else I don't give a fuck about social distancing) to realize CD Projekt Red aren't god afterall.

When the game came out it was playable on the most expensive PC and nothing else. They gave this computer to every reviewer so they can't see what it's like for everyone else.

No one else can fucking play this game, leading to outrage, war, terrorism and protests. People complained about the same shit as everyone else including:

• I can't fucking play it.

• I wasted $60 dollars

• I must slaughter CD Project Red

CD Projekt Red once thought to be gods were now seen as traitors of the human race. Their company is now being burned into flames by their once followers. People went to peak apeshit over pre-ordering a game they would never be able to play. People started review bombing the game on Metacritic thinking that it would help CD Project realize that they're the evil masterminds that they are.

People made millions of dogshit YouTube videos that are exactly the same. People had such unrealistic expectations that they had a fit over the base game not being the masterpiece it was supposed to be.

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This led to Sony removing the game from the PlayStation Store, so CD Project Red wouldn't be making jew-gold off people bitching about the game online and so they can fall down to the bottom of the class list.

	“	SIE strives to ensure a high level of customer satisfaction, therefore we will begin to offer a full refund for all gamers who have purchased Cyberpunk 2077 via PlayStation Store. SIE will also be removing Cyberpunk 2077 from PlayStation Store until further notice. Once we have confirmed that you purchased Cyberpunk 2077 via PlayStation Store, we will begin processing your refund. Please note that completion of the refund may vary based on your payment method and financial institution.	„
	—Sony Interactive Entertainment

Both Sony and Microsoft were offering refunds of the game for the losers that actually bought the game. This will further CD Projekt Red's fall into insanity.

Lawsuits

The FBI is suing CD Projekt Red for their crimes of pissing off outraged gamers due to their inability to tell people that you need a PC at highest price possible. Following Sony's removal of the game off the PlayStation Store Microsoft started to give refunds to anyone that bought the game as well. CD Projekt Red will loose their god status, therefore everything said was misleading.

A second lawsuit by the US Government occurred for their crimes against their people.

	“	The Management Board of CD PROJEKT S.A. with a registered office in Warsaw (hereinafter referred to as “the Company”) hereby announces that it received confirmation from a law firm cooperating with the Company that a second civil class action lawsuit had been filed in the United States District Court for the Central District of California by a law firm acting on behalf of a group of holders of securities traded in the USA under the ticker symbols “OTGLY” and “OTGLF” and based on Company shares. The content of the claim, including its subject and scope, is the same as the one disclosed by the Company in Current Report 68/2020 of 25 December 2020.	„
	—Americunt

The Government of Poland is also planning to sue CD Projekt Red to further kill thy CD Projekt Red as they keep losing jew-gold earned from once loyal followers.

Apology

CD Projekt Red is falling down each day, as they lose more followers every second. For their last resort to save their dying company they made a shitty apology in which they acted like god and they will never do wrong again.

Everyone saw through their plans which led to even more outcry and rage. They were mocked to death online for the fact not one person was smart enough to think they won't start a giant outcry of losers.

The Hack

While many people were butthurt over not being able to play Cyberpunk 2077 after paying $60 dollars for it, one person was on a whole other level of butthartardation. This person actually spent the time to hack CD Projekt Red and steal a bunch of employee info and not just the entire game's fucking source code but all of the entire fucking engine to make their games. The data was sold for a starting price of 1 million dollars which ended up being 7 million dollars.

You can see the IQ of the hacker in the message he sent to CD Projekt Red after he hacked the company:

	“	@									Hello CD PROJEKT								! Your have been EPICALLY pwned!! We have dumped FULL copies of your source code from your Perforce server for Cyberpunk 2077, Witcher 3, Gwent and the unreleased version of Witcher 3!!! We have also dumped all your documents relating to accounting, administation, legal, HR, investor relations and more! Also, we have encrypted all of your servers, but we understand that you can most likely recover from backups. If we will not come to an agreement, then your source codes will be sold or leaked online and your documents will be sent to our contacts in gaming journalism. Your public image will go doen the shitter even more and people will see how you shitty your company functions. Investors will lose trust in your company and the stovk will dive down even lower! You have 48 hours to contact us.	„
	— The most cancerous failure at life basement-dweller to ever exist

CD Projekt Red posted on Twatter how they got hacked by this dumbass:

	“	Yesterday we discovered that we have become a victim of a targeted cyber attack, due to which some of our internal systems have been compromised. An unidentified actor gained unauthorized access to our internal network, collected certain data belonging to CD PROJEKT capital group, and left a ransom note the content of which we release to the public. Although some devices in our network have been encrypted, our backups remain intact. We have already secured our IT infrastructure and begun restoring the data. We will not give in to the demands nor negotiate with the actor, being aware that this may eventually lead to the release of the compromised data. We are taking necessary steps to mitigate the consequences of such a release, in particular by approaching any parties that may be affected due to the breach. We are still investigating the incident, however at this time we can confirm that —to our best knowledge — the compromised systems did not contain any personal data of our players or users of our services. We have already approached the relevant authorities, including law enforcement and the President of the Personal Data Protection Office, as well as IT forensic specialists, and we will closely cooperate with them in order to fully investigate this incident.	„
	—CockDick Projekt Red

Some people were actually retarded enough to praise the hacker for finding all of CD Projekt Red's info. While the rest rightfully mocked this cancer to our society.

Patches

What did they fix?

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Nothing!

Gallery

Gallery About missing Pics

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See Also

• The Witcher

• Fallout 76

• No Man's Sky

• Star Wars: Battlefront II

• Grand Theft Auto

• Minecraft

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