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9gag: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 08:20, 30 December 2012
9Gag or 9fag is yet another meme spawning abomination of a website akin to memebase, FunnyJunk or reddit. This mix of 12 year olds, plagiarism and good old fashioned faggotry creates something that makes your eyes melt from their skull at a single glance. This turd of a website scours the lowest depths of the interwebs scrapyard, digs out age old images and burns it's black mark of unfunny death into their lower parts. The hellsite then invites NORPS and hipsters to comment and laugh and dribble from their facebook profiles about how funny and original all the bollocks simmering in front of them is. It also happens to have a name that sounds like a gay porn site that specializes in throat fucking from numerous dicks. Which could be considered much funner than the reality.
The "content", "created" by newfags on this site are composed mainly of rage comics, lame puns, forced memes, and just about anything that has already been made on other sites or that just isn't funny is mostly featured on 9gag. Meme use in this site has reached unimaginable levels of exploitation, every comic made on 9gag is mostly composed of rather overused memes to the point of covering one's eyes in an attempt to block out the levels of unfunniness coming from the site, but in a shocking turn of events, it still manages to cause the mentally handicapped 13 year old users to laugh and clap their hands like paraplegic seals, just before typing a quick reaction comment that somehow manages to drag the unfunny levels down even further to unimaginable depths. 9faggers claim they have no soul, despite the distinct lack of any shock images on their site, and the mere viewing of a small dosage of goatse or tubgirl would probably send them into a deep psychological coma, blubbering and twitching on the floor until their mother walks in and breathes a sigh of relief that she will never have to deal with her retarded hipster excuse of a son ever again. It has finally been fully proved that 9gag does in fact outright steal other sites content, and will feverishly attempt to cover it up. Fully explained here, it is a sad state of affairs when a site's only main source of content is from notorious content stealer reddit, therefore leaving 9gag a shriveled speck of indecency rotting in the bottom of the barrel that is the internet.
9gag also protects images from downloading by right click, to copypasta, press F12 on google chrome, click frames-images and pick the jpg file you want to download. If you want to delete 9gag watermark, copy the url to fuck9gag.com. Content doesn't belong to them anyway. Why anybody would want 9gag images for anything other than developing cures for The Cancer is beyond us.
- Newfags.
- Newfags who steal from /b/.
- Newfags who steal from Reddit
- Newfags who steal from ED.
- Newfags who think they're the elite of the internet.
- Newfags who think 9gag creates memes.
- Newfags who think Rage Comics are funny.
- Newfags who think all memes come from 9gag.
- Newfags who think that forced memes are hilarious.
- Newfags who think they're part of the '9gag Army'.
- Newfags who think Chuck Norris jokes are funny.
- Niggers who steal from other websites.
- Hipsters.
- 13 year old boys.
- 16 year old girls.
- Basement Dwellers.
- Fags
- Asspies
- Mongoloids
- You
Disregard that, even you wouldn't be part of this shit community, which is doing yourself a goddamn favor.
Rules of 9gag
The Azn overlords of 9gag decided it would be a good idea to enforce rules on their awesome website in a petty attempt to stop it from looking like a 4chan clone. The rules listed below resemble both “Rules of the Internet” which drags their current level of unfunniness down to unfathomable depths, and forum rules. Notice how there's 9 rules? That's so clever.
1. 9GAG is just for FUN.
2. 9GAG is JUST for fun.
3. Get Involved.
4. If you’re funny, you get Likes.
5. Play Nice.
6. Respect originality and creativity.
7. Moderate your content.
8. No reposts.
9. Report Abuse.
- Ray Chan & Chris Chan: Co-Founders of 9GAG and Co-Creators of a site known as Startup Quote which is full of pseudo-inspirational bullshit .
- Marco Fung: Co-founder of 9GAG and Co-Founder of Singboard which is an online karaoke program which allows you to prance around like retard whist singing old songs no one gives a fuck about from the comfort of your own home.
- Derek Chan: This Azn cancer ridden loser did nothing but Co-found 9GAG, but he did us a favour by not polluting the internet like his colleagues.
A Sampling of Faggotry
The uneducated masses of 9gag fail to understand the meme phenomenon. Where normally, it's an image, a saying, or a random oddity that get's spread around for no reason, to them a meme is an image macro, spammed ad nauseam. A veritable "meme factory", if you can stomach the concept. Herein, a small number of their "memes" are listed.
Memes
- Misused memes
- Various visual representations of the same jokes.
- Reaction faces to everything including reactions
- Rage Comic describing a day of the guy who posted it. Horrific misuses of Trollface (Herein Coolface) abound. (Originally from deviantart)
- Good Guy Greg. Not knowing he showed up at /b/ Last Thursday and posted pictures declaring he loves /b/ and hates 9gag.
- Forced Memes, like " Y U NO", "Fuck That Guy" and "Me Gusta".
- Neverending overuse of phrase "Le", e.g.: LE ME WITH DERPINA
- The only "memes" that have been produced on 9gag, have all failed and are only used on the site.
Notice the lack of original content. None of the memes became memes on 9fag. You can simply get reputation from just copying and pasting an image from another meme site, and then repost a repost of a repost ad infinitum.
13 year old boys
- 10 year olds finding the love of their lives, using the names like derpina to keep privacy.
- Getting caught by parents while fapping and raging, because that's what happens when one is caught beating off.
- Raging in school
- Thinking that they're intellectually superior to their classmates.
- Being friend-zoned before being sexually mature.
- Complaining about girls before even meeting one
- Play Call of Duty and/or Minecraft almost all of the time. They get extremely butthurt when killed in their games.
- Think Gangnam Style is the greatest song ever
- And being 13 year old and complaining about everything
Cancer
- Feedbacks about site itself.
- le, derp
- Chuck Norris jokes. While most jokes have the good fortune to begin fresh and funny, Chuck Norris jokes were never funny. Also, Norris himself hates them. Which is the entire point, so keep posting Norris jokes at every opportunity, preferably on Chuck's Facebook.
- People posting the screenshot of their own youtube comment and posting on 9fag as if they accidentally found it, then writing "Epic comment is Epic"
- "Still a better love story than Twilight" joke, because 9fags realized that everyone hates Twilight so they try hard to fit in by dissing it.
- Posting an image which only has white text and white background.
- 9fags usually buy meme T-Shirts because they think IT IS THE SHIZZZNITZZFUCKYOU.
Social Disaster
- Hipsters worshipping old/obscure/reverse attention whoring bands
- 9fags who were born in the 90's think they're awesome.
- If you remember this, you are awesome (everybody)
- Inviting people to create awareness of environmentalism by plastering PLEASE CLICK LIKE AND SHARE all over their post because that will surely save the planet - saving teh world!!oen1
- Anti-American jokes. Most 9gag users
arepretend to be pretentious Brazilians and love to say that "Americunts won't get this.". - That awkward moment when... well nothing, but all the readers are socially awkward, so they think ordinary stuff is awkward.
Because sample mean is an unbiased point estimator of the population mean, we can conclude that the entire website and all its users are complete and utter shit.
War Is Hell
Imagine two ragtag armies. Now imagine one is a disorganized, unmotivated group that could easily annihilate the other, and that the other is a bunch of extremists that don't have the balls to commit extremist acts.
First Strike
One day, sick of 9fag's bullshit memes, taking credit for 4chan memes and claiming to be Legion, some /b/tards crapflooded the site with porn and gore. Needless to say, not much happened, considering they were trying to attack others on the internet. However, the raid did accomplish something. The Jew overlords of 9gag made it so that you now must be "registered" to vote on pictures, thereby eliminating the last vestiges of anything that make it look like a 4chan clone. This also applies to the removal of their "Store" which sold stickers of memes with their 9fag logo imprinted on the sides. Sure, the attack did almost nothing, but if they could get people to restrict their underlings freedoms in the name of "security" and severely traumatise their members, anything is possible.
Operation: Deepthroat
On December 20, 2011, one day before the raid, 4chan members launched another operation, known as “Operation: Deepthroat”. The operation was to be a 3 part take down plan, involving some of the largest meme sites on the internet, such as Reddit, Tumblr, and Unfunny Junk. Within hours, the message had been spread all across the 4 participating websites. On December 20, the raid had officially started. Hundreds of fake accounts took to the newest uploads section, uploading gore, cp, and porn. Each entry was quickly down voted by 9fags, unable to handle the images, and then removed by the moderators. However, for as fast as the moderators could work, posts continued to fill up the newest uploads page, until they ultimately had to shut down all site services, including voting, new account creation, commenting, submitting content, and viewing the newest uploads. This period of high alert lasted for over 40 hours, well into the specified raid day. Meanwhile, as the spam raid continued, the clock had struck midnight on the 20th, signaling the beginning of the DDoS attacks. The DDoS attacks had already begun earlier on the day, but not to full effect. Within hours, 9fag was knocked offline in some areas, for unknown amounts of time. For several locations, 9fag was unreachable, and in other places, unusably slow, but many servers continued to function, preventing the massive black out the Operation had intended, making the entire raid a failure.
Like A Bad Game of Russian Roulette
Nearly a day before the 4chan raid, 9fag had discovered their intentions through several posts that had surfaced on the website's “Hot page”. The posts were in fact, set up by 4chan users, in an attempt to confuse their enemy. One such post was written by a 4chan member acting as a 9fag member, inciting a DDoS attack on 4chan. In a terrible mistake, 9fags ended up firing upon their own site. The instructions that were given to them were actually the coordinates to 9fag itself. Unaware of this, 9fag members fired upon the given coordinates. In a short summary, 9fag was tricked into DDoS’ing itself. Due to the servers massive capacity, little effect was had. 9fags, having discovered their mistake, launched a DDoS attack on 4chan's main page, shutting it down for a small amount of time. But, while the homepage was down, all the boards continued to function as normal, allowing for continued raid coordination.
Aftermath
While the porn and gore spam attack on the site was successful, the DDoS on 9fag failed to shut down the site completely, but was able to deprive some 13 year old boys of their shitty site. The aforementioned spam attack have resulted in frequent and almost incessant whining from butthurt faggots about the gore spam shortly after the raid and continues to this day. While 4chan failed to produce a site wide black out, the mentally scarring effects of gore and porn may be carried to this day. But in a short summary, both idiotic legions failed miserably.
The German Burger Contest
On January 16, 2012 after the conflict between 4chan and 9fag had died down, a 9gag user known as schierer posted a picture on the site to try and gain votes for a “9gag burger” that he had created for the German McDonald’s burger contest. The 9gag burger quickly gained around 32,000 votes mostly due to 9faggots ejaculating at the thought of the word "9gag" being on a burger that will probably give them heart disease in the next 20 years. This put it at first place by nearly 29,000 votes, hearing of this cancerous faggotry, 4chan users concocted their own burger to contend with the Mc9gag, and was named after Moot, and so the “McMoot” was conceived, but it fell far behind the Mc9gag in its early stages as 4chan was unable to equal the mongoloid masses of 9gag. However, 4chan, using their Uber 1337 Hax0rs, devised a better way to win the competition. A Twitter user by the name of Matheusavs28 created a Votescript for 4chan to use. Within days, the McMoot had surpassed the Mc9gag by well over 100,000 votes, but they weren't done with the contest yet. The contest clearly stated that the top 20 burgers would be chosen and then tested, so for 4chan to ensure absolute victory over 9fag and stomp out their cancer ridden abomination, they created 20 new burgers. With the revised voting script, the votes came pouring in like the failed memes 9gag creates on a daily basis. Each burger surpassed the 9gag burger by about 20-30 thousand votes.
The Heidi Crowter Affair
For some time, there was one Advice Dog Variant that just wouldn't die like most do. This one in particular involved a toddler with Down Syndrome. The toddlers name was Heidi Crowter, and her face spawned the Potato variant.
Flash forward to 2012. An article about some retarded girl looking suspiciously like our dear Potato girl surfaced in The Daily Mail. The article featured a butthurt mother complaining that her drooling failed abortion had seen a mean picture of her as a child, when in reality, it was yet another attention whore trying to cash in on barely-deserved e-fame. Of course, this only served to make /b/ laugh harder, but, despite 9gag thinking this shit was hilarious to begin with, it collectively felt bad about it. This didn't stop Anon from using the opportunity to paint 9gag as a hate site coinciding with another proper raid, because we all know what happened last time a site was designated hateful. The ploy fell flat on it's face, as all raids do now, but it appears to be the weapon of choice now, that being manipulation of public opinion; while the actual raid was successful until the owners realized that they could actually disable parts of their own site.
Will the raids continue? Will 9gag actually die from the sheer amount of cancer inhabiting it? Does anybody fucking care anymore?
Trolling
- Tell them 9gag is a bad copy of all other meme sites.
- Tell them that most of the content on their site is stolen.
- Tell them that the entire website is unfunny.
- Tell them that the entire community don't understand the meme phenomenon.
- Tell them that all the of the memes on 9gag come from other sites.
- Tell them that the content on 9gag is neither original or creative.
- Tell them 9gag doesn't even support adding text on pictures unlike its competitors.
- Tell them 9gag is mainstream.
- Tell them 9gag is full of middle school kids who still think Chuck Norris jokes are funny.
- Send them popular and unfunny pictures from 9gag.
- Tell them owner of 9gag is using their shitty image combinations for profit. Hipsters hate money.
- Tell them 9gag is an image macro popularity contest.
- Ask them why they hate retarded people.
- Tell them none of the memes posted on 9gag become a meme on 9gag.
- Tell them they are the newest newfags.
- Tell them that 9gaggers are the shit eaters of the internet, because they laugh at any dead and old meme that has ever existed.
- Tell them they are the cancer of the internet.
- Tell them that they very much do have a soul.
- Be advised that they compare Faggotbook pages to judge popularity (and, in their twisted logic, quality of content).
9faggotry
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They think that somebody gives a shit about them. -
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There's someone out there who finds this funny.
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Another one -
And another -
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Finally, a nigger acting normally. -
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This proves that 9fags are thieving niggers. -
An accurate depiction of an 9fag's reaction. -
A basic summary of the "content" you'll find on 9fag. -
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The aforementioned "memes" produced on 9gag. -
Not surprisingly, they all failed. -
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A butthurt 9fagger. -
Dangerous levels of faggotry are emitting from this image. -
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What one should do when coming in contact with a member of the "9gag Army". -
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How one should react when coming into contact with a 9gagger. -
Fact. -
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This is what facial expression one should have when coming into contact with a 9gag image. -
See Also
- Original Content
- Unfunny
- Knowyourmeme
- Newfags
- Funnyjunk
- 13-year-old boy
- Hipster
- Lolcats, the parent site of Memebase and the template for this site.
- Arrow to the Knee
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9gag is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
