Brandon Scott Hole

This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.

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Brandon Scott Hole
Born	August 20, 2001
Died	April 15, 2021 (aged 19)
Nationality:	Americunt
Highscore	8 killed, 7 injured
Top 50?	Lol no
Style	FPS, Single player
An Hero?	Yes
Motive	Autism, My Little Pony

On April 15 2021, 19-year-old Brandon Hole went tired of being a suicidal, autistic, brony wage slave and went postal, shooting up the FedEx Ground facility in Indianapolis, Indiana. Brandon Scott "A-Hole" killed 8 and injured 7, before ultimately becoming an hero. The motive behind his crusade was true romance and Brandon's deep, passionate, love for his waifu Applejack and his desire to spend eternity with her in the afterlife. With his noble quest in mind, Brandon drove to his former employers at FedEx armed with a rifle and began blasting the fuck out of the filthy casuals in the parking lot. Employees inside the facility were enjoying the relative safety of the gun-free zone, however, they could not call for help as they had to follow a no phone policy. Some argue shitty management are the real ones to blame for this tragedy because of this. Police arrived at 11 pm but it was too late, our warrior of love had already become an hero and his spirit instantly teleported to the My Little Pony realm where he and Applejack will live happily ever after.

It is important to note that Brandon Hole is a representative of the entirety of the brony fandom. Bronies are a threat to national security, and should be shoah'd.

	“	I hope that I can be with Applejack in the afterlife, my life has no meaning without her. If there's no afterlife and she isn't real, then my life never mattered anyway.	„
	—Brandon Hole

The Backstory

Brandon's GF chilling in his man-cave. One can only imagine the sorts of things he did with that plushie pony ass.

Officials stated the gunman was a former employee of the FedEx facility who was already on law enforcement's radar. His crackwhore trailer mom had warned law enforcement officials between drags on her menthols that he might try to attempt "suicide by cop.” An F.B.I. special agent confirmed that the gunman had been interviewed by federal agents in April 2020, and that he was put on an “immediate detention mental health temporary hold.” He was not charged with a crime, and the agent said that a shotgun was not returned to him, whatever the fuck that means. Thanks for all the details, flat foot. What, did you write all that on a fucking post-it-note??

Mr Hole last worked at the FedEx facility in 2020, perhaps as recently as the fall of last year, said Deputy Chief Craig McCartt of the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department. He said he did not know why Mr. Hole stopped working there, but it has been speculated that it was most likely due to him being an incel who collected pictures of other employees unflushed turds in the restroom instead of doing his job. Once fired, he swore that one day he would return to either complete his fecal photo collection, or kill everyone. Being a man of his word, he chose the latter due to the bathroom being closed for cleaning.

When asked if she would join Mr. Hole in the afterlife, Apple Jack's response was "Who the fuck is Brandon Scott Hole?"

Perhaps funniest (and least surprising) of all was how Hole was a brony who wanted to be with cartoon ponies in the afterlife as opposed to bumming smokes off of Jesus or banging 40 virgins. He was quoted shortly before the shooting saying "I hope that I can be with applejack in the afterlife, my life has no meaning without her." As far as final last words, these ones take the lulz cake as they might be the dumbest thing an hero has said before hitting the delete button IRL and improving the gene pool. You can show your respect by visiting his grave, planting some appleseeds, and taking a huge shit on them for fertilizer.

The Shooting

Brandon getting ready to meet his pony waifu.

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The authorities described a Counter-Strike-esque scene at the FedEx facility late last Thursday, when gunfire erupted about 11 PM. Mr. Hole had been huffing Jenkem in the parking lot before he got out, sang the autism national anthem, and started shooting. He did not seem to be after anyone in particular, suggesting that he may have thought he was simply playing a game of Call of Duty while being high on shit fumes. The predominately Sikh employees working at the time Scott probably thought were simply rag-heads he was supposed to kill before they could set the bomb, sparking allegations of racist motives from Law Enforcement and the media as the workforce was 90% Sikh, which is totally not indicative of racist hiring practices at all.

“He just appeared to randomly start shooting,” said Chief McCartt, who said there were at least 100 people at the FedEx location at the time, which means Hole should have achieved a much higher score than he did. However, after clearing the parking lot level of the game, he continued into level 2, the warehouse, where he failed to level up his character and mod his weapon which resulted in him missing several targets, thus resulting in a pathetic final score before hitting the reset button to try again. He's most likely getting Red Bull cans thrown at his head in hell for dragging the LAN party's team score down because he just plain sucks at the game and can't play for shit due to huffing crap his whole life.

Loadout

One of Brandon's rifles, appropriately fitted with MLP stickers.

His tactical pony helmet, unfortunately not used during the shooting.

Brandon Scott Hole
Item	Accessories/Bonus
Primary: Ruger SR-556	MLP stickers - For going out in style.
Primary 2: HM Defense HM15F	MLP stickers - For going out in style.
Secondary: Lil Chub for Applejack	Hole's concealed carry, severely damaged and worn-out from the ferocious beating to his beloved waifu but still functional
Perk 1: Virgin with Rage	Increased movement speed and damage if afflicted with the "Virgin" status
Perk 2: Going Postal	Increased damage against Delivery/Postal Office workers if recently fired from such services

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count:	8/20
Accuracy:	10/20 8 dead, 7 injured
Style:	5/20 Unoriginal going postal shooting, in a city that has already seen two other High Scores so far in 2021
Butthurt:	8/20 Moderate amount of butthurt, was quickly forgotten shortly thereafter
Bonus:	0/20 Bronies get 10 points automatically deducted from their score
Total Score: 21/100 (F-)

My Little Shooter. See full ranking

Wanted Level:

Federal Bureau of Investigation

Gallery

Showdown at the Equestria Corral About missing Pics

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  Nazi bronies
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  Would you know my name?
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[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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  Autism kills
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  Brandon Hole for President of Equestria
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  Brandon Hole's Battlestation
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  Exploitable
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  The Immaculate Anal Birth conception of Brandon Scatt Hole
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  What he expected in Valhalla
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  Suppossedly this is him
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  Cosplaying as the IRA
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  Dylann Scott Hole
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See Also

• Adam Lanza - another autistic
• Autism - what Brandon have
• An hero
• Assault Rifle
• Gun Control
• High Scores
• Mass Shooting
• My Little Pony - what he had and what caused him to kill
• Nikolas Cruz
• Postal
• Randy Stair - same but Danny Phantom fanboy and only kill 3
• Morgan Geyser & Anissa Weier - Slenderman fangirls who failed to get just 1 kill.

External Links

• BrandonHoleFanClub ^{(See removed posts: 1, 2)} (archive)
• WAS BRANDON ON THE SPECTRUM?? FOIA REPORT - Spoiler Alert: duh
• FBI says it interviewed FedEx mass shooter last year - (Wayback Machine) - Now where have we heard that before?

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[Stop shooting!Pull the trigger]

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