Jennifer Diane Reitz
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Enjoy your cock! 8====D (_(__) |
—Your face, after reading anything produced by Jennifer Diane Reitz | ||
JDR, also known as 'Tranny-kun', is well known as one of the most batshit insane folks on the Internet. Ever! This is sort of helped along by the fact that he/she has been online since the early 90s. JDR has at one point in his/her life been a millionaire, but somehow managed to squander all of her money (nearly all of it on shelves upon shelves of imported, complete manga volumes, anime videos, and every last cheap bit of merchandising for them that he/she proudly bragged about to the internet) and lives in a squalor with two other girls and a man, one of whom actually has a job (it's the man, because men are horrible beasts). Since JDR is an ugly man/woman and doesn't have to leave his/her house for work or anything of the sort, he/she is essentially a crazy shut-in, and as such spends all his/her time online being a crazy little bitch.
JDR is a crazy narcissist, and as such believes that everybody in the world should dance at her call. Mind you, JDR has lots of crazy ideas! Because she's crazy. JDR honestly believes that everything she makes is perfect, she is a sage, Scientology is exactly the same as Buddhism, fighting Nazis is morally wrong, she is magical and mystery surrounds her, criticism of her work by anonymous people on the internet is worth killing over, prepubescent sex dolls are a good thing, the very spirit of creation possessed JDR to bring her first shitty webcomic into the world ... well that's just say JDR has multiple levels of stupid crazy, and move this crazy train out of the station!
JDR runs a whole variety of websites, including several extremely dreadful webcomics (with webdesign straight out of the 90's) and transexual.org, a sickeningly misandristic propaganda site with a test that identifies nearly everybody that isn't a professional wrestler as mentally female and urges people to bullshit their way through doctor-given tests.
E-Love
JDR, Giniko-chan, and many others, was actually born as a male. Because males are vile creatures who start wars and rape everything, he had surgeries to turn him into a female, because females are petite and gentle. But because the transformation took place well into adulthood the results were less than remarkable and are certainly not fooling anyone. At 41 years old with the mind of a 16 year old girl crossed with a rabidly liberal political pundit, he enjoys minor e-fame because he both has a fake cooze as well as a preachy webcomic with pretty rainbow acid colors.
Infamy
To her credit, JDR is rather intelligent (though not as much as she would have you think), and if she was not so batshit insane she might be able to utilize her talents for something better than internet blowjobs from furry fans. Once upon a time, she was owner of the then-successful gaming site HappyPuppy.com. Upon selling the site she made more than any of us are ever going to see in our lifetimes and then promptly blew every penny on retarded anime crap like a redneck who just won the lottery in a gun store. She is extremely bitter about her own horrible life and financial decisions, and now spends every waking hour complaining on her own forums about how the Republicans and religious people somehow ruined her even though she still has a site showcasing her photos of 10,000 videogames and Sailor Moon figurines.
About 5 years ago Portal of Evil discovered this bag of cunts and since then has been treated to a new shocking and dysfunctional proclamation out of her about every week or so, ranging from anti-religion rants to insulting family members who support her broken ass, to how great it is to be a JDR today. It's safe to say that she is one of the most hated and longest-lived exhibits ever posted on the site, having inspired over 4,500 comments alone.
From within PoE, doubts have arisen about JDR being a transsexual at all, as she seems to possess a level of bodily self-loathing that most transsexuals do not exhibit after the operation and even cheated her way through the pyschological exam intended to weed the real manginas out of the people who are just severely confused. In many instances JDR has expressed a desire to completely forget that she has a gender or a body altogether, best shown in his special fursona which is a gelatinous, genderless blob.
Make My Shitty Game
Reitz's nebulous claim to fame is Multiverse, an unmade concept game that used random seed numbers to make up for its utter lack of design or content. Multiverse was to be programmed by JDR's long-suffering polyspouse and breadwinner, Stephen. When reality sucked their shitty game under like a fat bitch in quicksand, Ginko-chan blamed poor Stephen, thus proving she is an insufferable cunt. She resents him for it to this day.
There is great irony in the fact that all of JDR's websites are registered under her long-suffering pseudo-spouse, Stephen's name. This potentially means that the poor dumbass pays for her to spew all this crap onto the internets, even though she constantly whines at him for not supporting her "creativity".
Later, a fatty on the Unicorn Jelly forums will declare that Reitz invented procedural content development because of this.
In fact, JDR is convinced that Multiverse is similar to Spore. To the point where she is convinced that Spore was entirely stolen from her. Somehow.
Mental Illness
Whenever someone new discovers JDR, they inevitably either become a drooling fanboy or fangirl, or they attempt to diagnose what is wrong with her. Since just about anyone on the Internets can be a psychologist, this has led to a variety of diagnoses.
- Narcissistic personality disorder: JDR acts like she is madly in love with herself and her creative genius. JDR thinks that because she has read science fiction before, she knows all about cosmology, and because she had her penis cut off, she is qualified to give medical advice about transsexuality. Those are just two examples. She considers herself an expert on everything, while unsubtly telling her forumites that she is just an amateur, hoping to have her e-penis stroked.
- Schizotypal personality: JDR uses the Internets to communicate with the outside world. Per her own website, she is "nocturnal" which automatically means that she does not see most people. She thinks she is special because she has had strange visions of other worlds and has resurrected her dead dog despite apparently being an Atheist.
- While some people wish they were another gender, some wish they were a different species, some wish they were from another world, JDR is all of these and more. She wishes she were from a different universe and has custom designed it. JDR's very own special universe has floating triangles in the sky, because it has "unique" laws of physics that Reitz made up despite not being a scientist at all, and it is inhabited by blobs of sentient Jello.
- Histrionic personality disorder: Drama follows JDR like thunder follows lightning. She gets butthurt over the slightest thing. However, nothing sets her off like Anonymous, even when an anonymous person is using a handle, such as John Solomon. She makes death threats at Anonymous for dissing her glorious creative work, even though she would have no way of carrying them out--if she could even be pulled away from her computer that she whined about wanting until her forum sycophants gave her the money to buy it.
- Paranoid personality: JDR had a heart attack, and after she left the hospital, went on her forum and proclaimed that the doctors had tried to kill her because they were all Christians. She is constantly convinced that people want her dead, and that her pathetic state of existence is the result of a religious conspiracy to destroy her for being a transsexual. It is so bad that even in comics about her special triangle universe, transsexuals are killed for no reason. She can't even pwn the evil fundamentalists in her own fantasies.
It is becoming clear, though, that there is so much wrong with JDR that it cannot be classified under a single mental disorder. Perhaps someday psychiatrists will learn of her and will grant her some of the importance she so craves, naming a brand new mental illness after her.
Tommah: Obsessive stalker?
Last Thursday, a brand-new faggot appeared on Portal of Evil's massive JDR forum. Tommah claims to have heard about JDR via this article, and assumed that PoE was the perfect place to share his obsessive hatred of JDR. PoEsters quickly realized the depth of Tommah's insanity when he began posting roughly 30 JDR-related messages per day, on topics ranging from BAWWWING over being banned from JDR's forum to a ridiculously long essay apparently providing JDR with financial advice.
Tommah quickly became notorious for creating at least 100 sockpuppet accounts on JDR's forum in hopes of "educating" her, as well as for reposting every damn thing tranny-kun says on PoE. Christmas day, 2007, Tommah was found scrounging around PoE muttering "What happens when JDR dies?" Witnessing this sad state of affairs, PoEsters were kind enough to suggest that maybe Tommah should just get it over with and kill himself.
To this day, however, Tommah continues his obsessive stalking of JDR. Will he eventually end up joining her polyamorous communue? Will we see his picture on Fox News when he finally snaps and sends her his own ear as a love token? Only time will tell...
Something New Every Week
Because JDR uses the forums on her own site as her only means of communication outside of her household, you can read her stream-of-consciousness blather some 20 hours a day if you are particularly fascinated or horrified by her. Here are some terrible things we have found out due to her constant posting.
(Note: Recently he has redesigned his forums and deleted all of the old posts, so some of this stuff might be hard to find.)
- Prior to completing hormone therapy, JDR described testosterone as being a "poison" in his body that forced him to masturbate compulsively, sometimes until his genitals began bleeding. He has yet to answer how the women he so pitifully wants to be can keep from this odd form of self-destruction, considering that they too produce testosterone.
- Lives in a polyamorous commune with 3 other equally broken individuals, one woman, one other transsexual, and one male. All of them are middle-aged.
- Even though JDR does not work, the main breadwinner of the household who works with a software company is constantly dehumanized and insulted by her for various reasons. In one instance JDR posted a long-winded rant calling him "a disgusting pig" for refusing to work on a creative project that only JDR cares anything about.
- Posted rejoicing over the late Pope "taking a dirt nap".
- It is thought that the HappyPuppy sale netted JDR 1.4 million to possibly 2.2 million US dollars. That's million with an M. She no longer has any of the money.
- Suffered from some heart problem late last year that threatened her life. Instead of thanking the hospital staff who saved her, she accused them of being intolerant Christians who retched at the sight of his ruined, chopped-up anatomy and tried to kill him.
- Runs transsexual.org, which disguises itself as a serious scientific site when it actually just gives out misleading information and the answer key for beating the psychiatrist-developed test that one must pass before having sex-change surgery. Because the site is easy to find when looking for tranny info on Google, it's impossible to know how many confused people have taken JDR's bad advice and gotten expensive, irreversible, regrettable surgery when they really just needed a little therapy. Equally uncountable is the number of people that really are trans-something and after reading his site don't think they are because they don't feel the same level of gender butthurt that he talks about, turning them emo and making them become an hero. gg.
- Self-diagnosed ass pie
- Believes the government (and not Jews) did WTC.
- There are literally so many disgusting things he has said and done over time that it would take ED years to create a comprehensive list.
JDR at PAX 2009
Apparently since having all the videogames of the 80's and 90's was not enough for JDR, so Jennifer The Reitz decided to pillage PAX along with Eldernath the Fugly. Witness as (s)he makes terrible puns about nearly everything they saw there, and revel in their pride at RECOGNIZING BUB AND BOB FROM BUBBLE BOBBLE!
UPDATE: Her domain name expired. Fixed.
Jenny Is A Brony
Having 95 kinds of batshit wasn't enough for Reitz so she decided to add one more to her mantle and became a brony, posting her shitty clopfics on Fimfic.com under the name Chatoyance.(Confirmed.) She's still under the delusional belief that being creator of Otakuworld.com is akin to being a world famous rock star but if that were true she wouldn't be hanging out with the bronies because she's hated by everyone including her own "family", now would she? For someone who hates men so much, you think she would avoid a show with a largely male fanbase, even if it does masquerade as a little girl's show from time to time.
She has recently taken up to writing a series of dystopian fanfiction stories based off a story named "The Conversion Bureau", alongside a number of other authors. In these stories, the ponies randomly appear on Earth, often with their entire goddamn continent and put up a massive barrier around Equestria that doesn't let any humans in. They then establish "Conversion Bureaus", basically a clinic where you get turned into a pony, all across Earth. Oh, but then Celestia decides that's not good enough and proceeds to turn the rest of humanity into ponies, against their will, as a "gift". Because we humans are so evil, all the governments all jump on board. The people who are against this form a group named the Human Liberation Front (HLF), and are presented in the story as irrational terrorists who are worse than fucking Al-Qaeda. She's not the only one to support this trend either, there are literally HUNDREDS of these stupid ass stories, and a cult following that bitches like a 12 year old whenever anyone criticizes their stories, calls them out on their out-of-character representations of the ponies, and their misanthropic bullshit. Following in the footsteps of such notorious lolcows as chris-chan and Dakari-King Mykan, Jennifer tends to regard negative criticism as a personal attack, or as slander and/or libel. She regularly labels a group of people who criticize TCB stories a "Hate Group" and likens them to terrorists, even though the group's admins have repeatedly asserted they are not there to hate on her work; fellow TCB authors even acknowledged this fact and told Jennifer as much, only to be branded as traitors, back-stabbing scum, and evil people.
External Links
- Transsexual.org - Incredibly sexist anti-male site with dangerously bullshit information about transexuality. Would be an epic troll site if it weren't 100% fucking serious. Analysis here.
- Jenniverse.com - JDR's hub o' crazy
- Unicorn Jelly - JDR's Original Terrible Webcomic (capitalized for terribleness)
- Impossible Things - JDR's magical adventures
- Pastel Defender Heliotrope - JDR's webcomic about sentient adolescent sexdolls
- To Save Her - JDR's newest webcomic
- Cosmo Chronicles - Proof that JDR's art hasn't improved in 35 years
- John Solomon mocks JDR's shitty comic, JDR cries
- Me and You and Mary Sue explains JDR
- How The Loss Of Kokoro Wish, and of My Entire Career, Of All Of My Dreams Has Affected Me. by JDR (mirror)
- The Bad Webcomic Wiki reviews "Pastel Defender Heliotrope.
- And one for "Unicorn Jelly".
- And a new one for "To Save Her"
- And another one on the "Project A.F.T.E.R" forums.
- Chatoyance's FiMFiction page, beware, shitty fanfics abound.
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Jennifer Diane Reitz is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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Jennifer Diane Reitz is part of a series on Webcomics | ||||||||||
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Jennifer Diane Reitz is part of a series on FanFiction | |||||||||||||
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