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Dying alone: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:PinkButt.jpg|thumb|right|Owning one of [[fleshlight|these]] guarantees that you're gay, and will be dying alone.]] | [[Image:PinkButt.jpg|thumb|right|Owning one of [[fleshlight|these]] guarantees that you're gay, and will be dying alone.]] | ||
[[File:Doglight.jpg|thumb|Owning one of these guarantees you're a [[dracoguard|demented]] [[ | [[File:Doglight.jpg|thumb|Owning one of these guarantees you're a [[dracoguard|demented]] [[Cory Williamson|dogfucker]] and will be dying alone.]] | ||
*Edgar Allen Poe | *Edgar Allen Poe |
Revision as of 23:31, 27 March 2012
The journey of dying alone is not unlike the Noble Eight-Fold Path of Buddhism. One must discipline the body and mind in preparation for alienating everyone who has ever loved or cared for you (if there ever was anyone). The first step in this journey is often a self diagnosis of Assperger's or Antisocial Personality Disorder (sociopath). Dying alone is an endeavor which takes a lifetime of dedication.
Dying Alone Checklist
- You're a nigger.
- You hate your family and they don't understand why. You pretty much deserve to die alone because of this you selfish bastard.
You hate all your ex-girlfriends/boyfriends even though they want to "like" you.lol like you've ever had one.- You have no relationship with your neighbors.(who will only notice/report you because of the stench of decaying flesh).
- You despise humanity and prefer the company of yourself, cats and 'people' you have never met and probably never will.
- You don't have a job. --> Ergo you don't have much money in the bank (less than zero). You don't have a car. You have little content in your wallet (three worn receipts from McDonald's). When/if you wear pants, they're jizz and urine-stained khakis. You're the all-singing (WHEN I WAS), all-dancing (DDR) crap of the world and it's your duty to refuse to participate in the status quo.
- Every Friday night, you dress in Vietnam War era camo, load your guns, take Morphine, drink Thai whiskey, and watch Apocalypse Now Redux on DVD at full volume in the dark.
- You maxed out all your credit cards on purely selfish pursuits like p0rn, Farmville coins, Runescape, fast food and whiskey. Why bother wasting other people's money on charity when you can spend it all on yourself?
- You're waiting for your Edward Cullen.
The only way to prevent this is to reverse everything said above.
Those Who Have Died Alone Before Us
- Edgar Allen Poe
- Elvis Presley
Donnie DarkoFAGGOT- Sylvia Plath
- Wacko Jacko
- Anna Nicole Smith
- Emily Dickinson
- Lilo
- Nikola Tesla
- Ziggy Stardust
- Mitchell Henderson
- Megan Meier
- Jim Morrison
- Noble Six
- H.P. Lovecraft
- Hitler
- Ripper
Chris Benoittook family with him- Kurt Cobain
- Hunter S. Thompson
- Heath Ledger
- Amelia Earnhardt
- Candyjunkie
- Jade Goody
- jloveb
- Amy Winehouse
- Cristopher McCandless
People with the Noble Aspiration of Dying Alone
- Ray_Gordon
- Clayranger89
- Lowtax
- Shane Lee
- Successful Troll
- DaxFlame
- eppigy
- Sailormoonred1
- NeoLobster
- Epic fat guy
- Love-Shys
- Dynacatlovesme
- Updownmostly
- JohnOfE
- Irish282
- Logan sperman
- Camille Marino
- BURK
- nullcherri
- Avid Sims players
- BLARGH
- DLB
- Ket
- Sniff Heinkel
- Dorian Thorn
- Nesshelper
- Chris Crocker
- Kevin Havens
- David Hockey
- Pit_Viper
- Your Mom
- Every member of the Psion Guild
- Captain James T. Kirk
- VenomFangX
- Veterans
- Superlisamcb
- http://www.youtube.com/user/xjuliettemariex DO NOT WANT
- Realmrsoptimusprime
- Redpassion
People Who Deserve To Die Alone
- Randomlaughingman
- TTT
- Fred
- Kim Jong Il
- Latias4ever
- Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto
- DisneyFan01
- Psychweasel
- Jimmy Weaver
- Anonymous Borg
- Argent009
- Longseet
- Black Jesus
- Psychweasel
- Fred
- Kimmo Johan Alm
- Blaze Arctic
- Ahotwheelscar
- Bill122460
- DrMusic2
- Chismah
- Spax3
- Perez Hilton
- Dane Cook
- Jimbo Wales
- Richard Dawkins
- Anthony Merino
- Fred
- W
- Jade O'Leary
- Dorian Thorn
- Chris-chan
- Cosplayers
- Jack Thompson
- OJ Simpson
- Furries
- Ponyfags
- Reverend Fred Phelps
- Mission: MySpace
- Cancerr
- Fred
- Psychweasel
- Dayen
- SephirothPrincess941
- WAXLABLTABLER
- Niggers
- DBoyWheeler
- Fred
- Peter Popoff
- Psychweasel
- Tourneyfags
- Kenny Glenn
- Liberals
- Republicans
- Jews
- Fred
- Fred
- You
- Rodheh (devianTART & YTMND user who will most likely die alone because more apparently important people think he's a "sperg".)
- Comradvolk (Another YTMND user who MIGHT die alone based on whether or not there's enough vodka after the storm hits.)
- Masochistic-Wolfie
- William Marshburn, Faggoty-ass nerd from Bremerton WA
- The users of Colony Drop, a hardcore and edgy Reject Weeaboo bukkake attempt to have other weeabbos and all of Japan to suck off of their dongs out of a starved ego and long lasting virginity
See Also
- An Hero
- Avoidance
- Basement dweller
- BBWchan
- Cuddle Party
- Dead Inside
- Forever Alone
- Hover hand
- Jenkem
- Lonely
- Pruno
- Sex_game
- Totse
External Links
- Loner who built network of tunnels out of rubbish in his home dies alone after getting lost in labyrinth.
- The incel project,a site intended to promote awareness of involunatary celibacy.
Dying alone is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
Featured article February 14, 2009 | ||
Preceded by Last Thursday |
Dying alone | Succeeded by So i herd u liek mudkip |