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Ray Gordon
Gordon Roy Parker (born January 6, 1967), who likes to pretend his name is Ray Gordon, is a 51 year old semi-well known Usenet kook and YouTube user that lives off of your hard earned tax dollars in West Philadelphia that he wastes every week losing it on horse races. He is known through hundreds of usernames online since he keeps getting banned for being retarded and threatening to kill women and has attempted to sue ED multiple time, but has not been able to pay the 30$ filing fee.
On USENET
One of Gordon's first notable acts was when he harassed a woman named Tabitha Hassell into moving in order to get away from him. Gordon has also been known to try to solicit underage gymnasts to convince them to let him coach them. He also posts fanfic that revolves around himself torturing, raping and killing young gymnasts. alt.seduction.fast became his favorite group soon after he discovered it, and his life revolved around it ever since.
Right after the jews did wtc, Gordon quickly proclaimed that there was no significant loss of life in those towers. Gordon quickly took steps to remove the posts from the Google Groups archive, but the posts were saved thanks to several people reposting them all over the usenets.
On YouTube
In 2010, as part of his attempt to transform himself into the next Chris-Chan, Gordon got himself a state-of-the-art-in-1997 video camera and uploaded some videos to his YouTube account. Prior to this, however, he hired a woman named Princess Jodie to make several videos for him to post on his account that totaled less than one minute combined. The whereabouts of these videos at present are unknown, but many believe that Gordon's fapping to them while sobbing at his permavirgin status.
As of late, Gordon seems to limit his time on YouTube to posting comments where he bitches about women not fucking him, complains about commercials on YouTube, whines about various MRA positions, and various comments about his "stories", such as General Hospital.
UPDATE: On September 18th, 2016, The genius of the internets, the guru of getting laid despite being a herpes-riddled virgin, the master chess player and horse better, posted his most popular video yet: At over 88,000 views, he admits that he lives off of $867 a month in SSI and what he gets from food stamps.
On Yahoo Groups
Gordon first discovered the internet outside of usenet in 2002 when he created the Yahoo group The Seduction Library. The group has been abandoned since 2003.
In 2007, Gordon tried creating another Yahoo group called Project 5,000, with the stated goal of attaining 5,000 members so that he could collect $10 from each of them. The current membership count of 78 is slightly less than the stated goal.
On Twitter
Not content with being exposed as an incompetent, bumbling fool on Usenet, Youtube and Yahoo Groups, Gordon signed up for a Twitter account to demonstrate his ability to make a complete asshat out of himself in less than 140 characters. At least seven of his socks (under the names toosmarttofail, HorseOfWallSt, BettorOffSingle, OriginalRayPUA, ChicksDigChess, Ray_Gordon and GordonRoyParker) have been suspended for harassing women. His most recent account was suspended in early January of 2017, leading to a video rant on YouTube where he complains about it while sitting in front of some dirty fans.
E-lawyer
Gordon fancies himself a lawyer, as evidenced by the multiple lawsuits he has filed (and lost) over the years. One of the most notable ones was where he tried to sue Google for $10,000,000,000 (THAT'S TEN FUCKING BILLION FUCKING DOLLARS!). Shockingly, he didn't win his $10,000,000,000 jackpot.
Not to be discouraged, Gordon then filed suit against Microsoft and Yahoo for a mere $150,000.
Other victims^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hdefendants of Gordon include the University of Pennsylvania and several thousand people named John Doe. He constantly threatens people who mock him on social media with lawsuits.
On Encyclopedia Dramatica
On December 22nd, 2011, Gordon Roy Parker discovered that someone had written an article about him and posted it to Encyclopedia Dramatica. In a stroke of genius, Gordon came up with the brilliant idea of creating an Encyclopedia Dramatica account and deleting all the content within the article. One can only speculate as to how much Gordon cried when his brilliant plan failed.
On August 31st, 2012, having learned nothing from his previous attempt to take down ED, Gordon sent a DMCA takedown request to Google in an attempt to get this page taken off of their search page. The fact that you are currently reading this page should tell you how successful that attempt was.
Ray Tries to Sue ED
At one point he tried to file a lawsuit against Zaiger but couldn't even pay the court fees and was forced to dismiss it.
Still, Zaiger, like a bitch, deleted this article. After we kicked him out, we put it back up.
Ray Tries to Sue ED Again
In late 2018 Ray realized this article is online again, and began spamming ED on twitter, offering to spare whichever one of the site's admin's gives him the dox of all the other ones, who he will sue once he gets their dox anyway from Zaiger who had just been arrested for beating his ex-girlfriend and trying to steal money from her for cocaine.
Clearly, a perfect plan.
Oddguy's attempts to snitch to Gordon on himself have thus far not been successful.
Family
Gordon lived with his mother from the time he was born (~1966) until her death in 2007. Gordon was so upset by her death that he referred to it as a vacation on one of his blogs. At one point, someone tried to alert Gordon's mother to her son's activities, but Gordon somehow managed to interpret this as a death threat.
Gordon is also alleged to have a brother named Walter, however nobody has been able to verify this, beyond a few posts by someone claiming to be Walter in 2001 & 2002.
Ray's self-proclaimed careers
At various times in the past, Gordon has claimed to be:
- Pro gymnastics coach - Claims to train several gymnasts online. Most likely a ploy to get close to teenage girls.
- Pro chess player and/or chess coach - Only a bit shy of becoming World Champion. Also claims to be Internationally ranked Note: the USCF has NO listing of him on their website. According to information we have, Ray's old rating exists, but his membership is not current. Most likely a ploy to get close to teenage boys.
- Pro handicapper and oddsmaker - According to his web site.
- Pro finance market analyzer - According to his web site.
- Pro relationships adviser - Teaches men "how to get laid".
- Pro hypnotist and hypnosis instructor - Harasses and bad mouths female hypnotists.
- Writer - Writes a book about seduction, horse racing and Dominique Moceanu.
- Best secretary in the USA - But got fired because he wasn't an "office whore".
- Paralegal - Pennsylvania requires some sort of professional certification, but Ray doesn't know that.
- Activist against child abuse and sexual harassment - Claims that gymnastics coaches are child abusers, yet still claims to be one (see above).
- Professional psychic - And still doesn't have a clue about the Editorial Staff of RayFAQ.
- Civil Rights Activist - Claims that hiring discrimination has prevented him from being employed. Filed suit against UPenn. Hmmm...
- Journalist - Not accredited by any news agency, though.
- Software Company CEO & entrepreneur - Own company, of course.
- Successful business owner - Also known as broke, and filed bankruptcy in 1997 cna claims to be on disability for "mental anguish" as of 2015.
- Internet guru - He can't read headers on Usenet posts, but he's learning.
- Sports historian - Hmm...
- Body builder - And of course extremely good looking, which is why he hasn't posted a picture of himself that isn't more than 30 years old.
- Jesus Christ - Only in past life though.
- Skilled Hypnotist - Claims to be able to "Gain TOTAL Sexual Control" over women
- Welfare recipient - Getting that $867 every month plus food stamps makes women positively moist!
Other Links
- The OFFICIAL SITE of Ray Gordon!! - Where he tries to sell you several e-books.
- Gordon's Youtube account
- Gordon't Google+ account
A somewhat disorganized page detailing some of Gordon's activities, including 121(!) of Gordon's socksdeleted- Message board post that contains a partial list of usernames that Gordon has used since 1996
- News story about Gordon losing his ten billion dollar lolsuit against Google
- Link to the dismissal of Gordon's suit against Google
- Google deciding not to help Gordon Roy Parker cover up his past (and ongoing) incompetence.
| Ray Gordon is part of a series on Usenet. | [Expand] | ||||||||
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| Featured article October 1 & 2, 2018 | ||
| Preceded by Kurt Eichenwald |
Ray Gordon | Succeeded by Dance In The Vampire Bund |