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[[Image:Dane2.JPG|thumb|Typical fedora owner.]]
[[File:Pugsley Addams shows his approval of your post.jpg|thumb|right|*Tips fedora*]]
The '''fedora''' (or [[brony]]-[[islam|burka]]) is a hat with a small to medium-sized brim and its main section creased down the middle and pinched at the front end. [[Shit Nobody Cares About|The fedora is the elusive third piece of the three-piece suit]].
 
The fedora was once the undisputed king of all hats, invented by [[Marcabs|top headwear scientists]] in the 1910s. All hats were lesser compared to the almighty fedora, until its untimely death at the hands of a million losers desperately trying to look cool, resulting in the fedora being co-opted as the official hat of [[autism]].


The '''Fedora''' is the undisputed king of all hats, invented by [[Marcabs|top headwear scientists]] in the 1930s. All hats are lesser compared to the almighty fedora. The fedora has a small to medium-sized brim, and its main section is creased down the middle and pinched at the front end. The fedora is the elusive third piece of the three-piece suit. Most fedoras nowadays are from Target or [[Wal-Mart]], are made of shit cloth instead of felt, and are only worn by [[basement dwellers]] who think that having it perched atop their greasy tangle of nasty-ass hair automatically makes them as cool as everyone in the following list.
As such, most fedoras nowadays are from Target or [[Wal-Mart]], are made of shit cloth instead of felt and are only worn by [[basement dwellers]] who think that having it perched atop their greasy tangle of nasty-ass hair automatically makes them as cool as everyone in the following list.


==The Fedora in Media==
==The Fedora In Media (Or 'The Big List Of People Who Can Actually Look Cool In A Fedora')==
[[File:Fedora.jpg|center|550px]]
[[Image:Dane2.JPG|thumb|Typical fedora owner.]]
[[File:531515541hat.gif|thumb|Fedoras can save lives.]]
The fedora has made a reputation for itself in various forms of media, examples include:
The fedora has made a reputation for itself in various forms of media, examples include:
*Everybody in the ''Godfather'' movies  
*Everybody in the ''Godfather'' movies  
*Indiana Jones
*Everybody in ''Cinderella Man'' (despite the title)
*Everybody in ''Cinderella Man'' (despite the title)
*Everybody in [[Team Fortress 2|TF2]]
*Indiana Jones
*Indiana Jones
*Rorschach from [[Watchmen]]
*Rocky Balboa
*Humphrey Bogart
*Humphrey Bogart
*Frank Sinatra
*Tom Landry
*Indiana Jones
*[[Johnny Depp]]
*Young Indiana Jones
*Young Indiana Jones
*Al Roker, but he only straight-up rocks that shit on chilly days.
*Al Roker, but he only straight-up rocks that shit on chilly days.
*Inspector Gadget, and his had a helicopter built into it.
*Inspector Gadget, and his had a helicopter built into it.
*Freddy Krueger
*Freddy Krueger
*Indiana Jones
*[[Rap|Run-DMC]]
*[[Rap|Run-DMC]]
*Some of the chicks from that ''Chicago'' movie, this is what is known in The Biz as "Pure Sex"
*Some of the chicks from that ''Chicago'' movie, this is what is known in The Biz as "Pure Sex"
*Probably some [[anime]] characters.
*Indiana Jones
*I think that dude from [[Bleach]] has one, but it's white with green stripes and poorly drawn. '''That's a bucket hat you fool.'''
*This crazy Butterfly-Mobster from the ''[[Shin Megami Tensei]]'' video game series.
*This crazy Butterfly-Mobster from the ''Shin Megami Tensei'' video game series.
*[[Your mother]]
*Pimps
*Pimps
*[[Anonymous]]
*Your father
*[[Michael Jackson]]


==The Fedora Today==
[[File:Other uses for fedoras.jpg|thumb|left|Alternative uses for fedoras.]]
[[Image:Godfather_003.jpg|thumb|Even in a video game, Vito Corleone rocks a fedora better than you can.]]
[[Image:Godfather_003.jpg|thumb|Even in a video game, Vito Corleone rocks a fedora better than you can.]]
The fedora was hunted nearly to extinction [[at least 100 years ago]] when they invented dumbass little round hats around the 1940s and then later baseball caps. Now fedoras are found primarily on urban-type [[hipster]] assholes who aren't worthy of wearing the apex of hat technology. If you wear a fedora today, prepare to be laughed at. Instead, look up the wide variety of other hats one can still wear, and get one online.
===The Evolution Of A Faggot In A Fedora===
*Get bullied all through school for being a nerd.
*Decide to take cool and own it.
*Purchase a fedora - an item which is considered a physical embodiment of cool.
*Abandon all other aspects of cool, such as physique, personality, clothing and style.
*Ride that one cool item you possess towards your hopes and dreams of coolness.
*Look like a spastic.
Keep in mind you can add to the look with fingerless gloves, a horrible [[neckbeard]] that looks like dead spiders, and a retro t-shirt.


==The Fedora Today==
===Identifying a fedora-wearer on the internet===
The fedora was hunted nearly to extinction [[at least 100 years ago]] when they invented dumbass little round hats around the 1940s and then later baseball caps. Now fedoras are found primarily on urban-type hipster assholes who aren't worthy of wearing the apex of hat technology. If you wear a fedora today, prepare to be laughed at. Instead, look up the wide variety of other hats one can still wear, and get one online.
[[File:Fedora clop threat.jpg|thumb|right|Maximum autism unlocked.]]
[[File:Fedora-the-explorer.png|thumb|[[Dora the Explorer|*Tips for dora*]].]]
Despite the general anonymity provided by the world-wide-web, there are several methods that can be used to track down and properly classify a fedora-wearing faggot.
 
One of the most vital steps in identification of the fedora-wearer is where most of their time online is spent, because fedora users tend to travel in [[Bandwagon|large packs]], they are easiest to spot in the following locations:
 
*[[v|/v/]]
*[[Reddit]]
*[[TV Tropes]]
*[[Something Awful|Goons]]
*Any [[brony]]-related community
*[[Atheism]]
*Any "geek" apparel related website
*[[Freenode]]
*[[Libertarian]]
*Possibly [[tumblr]] (but only to masturbate to images of scene girls)
*Anti-[[GamerGate]]/[[SJW]]/castrated faggots.
*Pro-[[GamerGate]]/[[MRA]]/embittered permavirgins.
 
The next step in the identification process is quite possibly the most important: their [[Pleb|tastes in media]]. Those who wear fedoras often accredit themselves as having a highly developed taste for the arts, this however is not true.
 
Entry-level cinema is a particular favorite of fedorafags, if the target mentions any of the following as being a "monumental", "groundbreaking", "creative", or even simply "good" film, there is a high likelihood they were wearing a fedora while doing so:
 
*[[Fight Club]]
*Donnie Darko
*Any [[Lord of the Rings]] movie
*Any [[Quentin Tarantino]] movie
*[[Watchmen]]
*The Cornetto Trilogy
*[[Scott Pilgrim]]
*Any post-1960's Stanley Kubrick movie
*[[The Matrix]]
 
If the target's preference for film cannot be obtained (which is unlikely since fedorafags love to share their "excellent" taste in movies they perceive as being "deep"), there is also a chance they will at one point share their taste in music. The artists enjoyed by fedora-wearers are just as generic as the films they watch, and include but are not limited to:
 
*[[Queen]]
*[[The Beatles]]
*Caravan Palace
*Any [[heavy metal]] band
*Post-1972 [[Pink Floyd]]
*The soundtrack to L.A. Noire or [[Fallout]]


==Kingdom of Loathing and the Fedora==
There is also a slim chance the person in question may try to brandish the fantastic taste they have in literature as well. It should be noted that the only novels fedorafags have read are those they were forced to in high school; nevertheless, they often praise such juvenile works as:
The MMORPG ''[[Kingdom of Loathing]]'', a MUD-like MMORPG populated by stick-figures and pencil-doodles, places quite a lot of emphasis on the fedora as an equipable armor item, most notably 1337speek "f3d0r4"s and clockwork fedoras. Pr0ns, sleazy crayfish from the seamy [[underbelly]] of internet pr0nography, also wear fedoras while appearing as monsters.


*A Catcher in the Rye
*Jonathan Livingston Seagull
*To Kill a Mockingbird
*Anything by Poe
*Anything by Stephen King
*Anything by [[Ayn Rand]]
[[Image:Fedora_mating_grounds.jpg|thumb|The fedora in its natural habitat: The 1930s]]
[[Image:Fedora_mating_grounds.jpg|thumb|The fedora in its natural habitat: The 1930s]]
[[File:Hitler fedora.jpg|thumb|Very few men can get it right.]]
Fedorafags also like to think of themselves as funny, incredibly witty guys who have such a sophisticated sense of humor that whenever they make a joke and receive only stony silence/contemptuous looks from all the casuals around them, it's only because either A) they don't get it because they're too dumb to grasp the complex subtleties of the joke or B) they're so shocked by the totally [[edgy]], uncompromising, in-your-face humor that their little sheeple lives have been thrown into complete disarray. Comedians favored by fedora-wearers include:


*Doug Stanhope
*[[Bill Hicks]]
*Dennis Leary
*[[Ricky Gervais]]
*[[Penn and Teller]]
*Charlie Brooker
*Anyone on [[TGWTG]]


==Some Fedora Wearers Kill Kids, and That's Why Fedoras Are Cool==
When it comes to fedora faggots, they're political views will most likely be [[libertarian]], and another chance is that they might be avid [[Ron Paul]] supporters.
<center><youtube>LHUXYakj_KY</youtube></center>


[[Image:000.jpg|thumb|Where all Fedoras originate from.]]
==Why To Avoid Dating Or Befriending A Fedorafag==
[http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/20-reasons-you-shouldnt-date-men-who-wear-fedoras#.dbxk8lBVQ6 20 reasons to avoid those faggits]
 
===How dare you insult the fedora, you [[wambulance|jealous ass haters]]!===
 
<center><youtube>VfOuJ93sIog</youtube></center>
 
==Fedoras accentuate autism wonderfully==
[[Image:000.jpg|thumb|left|Where all Fedoras originate from.]]
 
{{center|{{fv|bizarre|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>mZQOYtasOHQ</youtube>
|<youtube>f4QBRgyitFs</youtube>
|<youtube>0wiKqBgsp4A</youtube>
|<youtube>yANaC3ElDPY</youtube>
|<youtube>G8SES-L2cmQ</youtube>
}}}}


==Scientology==
==Scientology==
Apparently L. Ron Hubbard thinks fedora hats are an evil from a past alien civilization, and Scientologists are forbidden to wear them. Of course, there is a picture of L. Ron from before he started Scientology [[fail|wearing a fedora]], but they like to keep that hidden.
[[File:Priestfedora.jpg|thumb|right|250px|It's like a bat signal to home in [[Ytask|little boys]].]]{{main|The Marcab Confederacy}}
[[File:Charming hate and me 002.jpg|250px|thumb|left|[[Darksidered992|I can haz style]] too?]]


<i>See: [[The Marcab Confederacy]] for main article.</i>
Apparently L. Ron Hubbard thinks fedora hats are an evil from a past alien civilization, and [[Scilon|Scientologists]] are forbidden to wear them. Of course, there is a picture of L. Ron from before he started Scientology [[fail|wearing a fedora]], but they like to keep that hidden.


==The Fedora as Softwarez==
==The Fedora as Softwarez==
You can plug your hat into the Matrix and many lulz will ensue; doing this also has the benefit of providing a permanent [[Nethack|+6 charisma enchantment to your fedora]], and adds the "Jaunty" and "Rakish" commands to its setlist.
You can plug your hat into the Matrix and many lulz will ensue; doing this also has the benefit of providing a permanent [[Nethack|+6 charisma enchantment to your fedora]], and adds the "Jaunty" and "Rakish" commands to its setlist.


==No, Srsly: The Fedora as Softwarez==
===No, Srsly: The Fedora as Softwarez===
"Faildora Core is an RPM-based Linux distribution, developed by the community-supported Fedora Project and sponsored by Red Hat. The name derives from Red Hat's characteristic fedora used in its "Shadowman" logo. However, the Faildora community project had existed as a volunteer group providing extra software for the Red Hat Linux distribution before Red Hat got involved as a direct sponsor.
Faildora Core is an [[Shit nobody cares about|RPM-based Linux distribution]], developed by the community-supported Fedora Project and sponsored by [[Red Hat]]. The name derives from Red Hat's characteristic fedora used in its "Shadowman" logo. However, the Faildora community project had existed as a volunteer group providing extra software for the Red Hat Linux distribution before Red Hat got involved as a direct sponsor.
Faildora is the pseudo l337 bleeding-edge piece of shit from RedHat used by geeks to satisfy their masochistic needs
Faildora is the pseudo l337 bleeding-edge piece of shit from RedHat used by geeks to satisfy their masochistic needs.


[[Image:Trilby.jpg|thumb|Results of a Google image-search for "Trilby" yields Fedoras.  Google is Truth.]]
==Vs. The Trilby==
[[Image:Trilby.jpg|thumb|left|Results of a Google image-search for "Trilby" yields Fedoras.  Google is Truth.]]
[[Image:Pixelman.gif|thumb|Trilby, the protagonist of the "X Days a Something" games, seen in his signature gray suit and a <s>Fedora</s> <s>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trilby Trilby hat]</s> Fedora.]]


==Vs. the Trilby==
There is virtually no difference between Fedoras and Trilbies, but the dastardly Jew cabal that pulls the strings of Wikipedia and the world at large would have you believe otherwise.  According to Wikipedia a Trilby is "a soft felt men's hat with a narrow brim and a deeply indented crown." while a Fedora is described as "a soft felt hat that is creased lengthwise down the crown and pinched in the front on both sides."  Wut.  I think a Trilby might be a tiny bit narrower than a Fedora, but beyond that it's the same hat.  I will kill myself if you can prove the two styles of the hat are significantly different, but you can't, so I wont. [[shit nobody cares about|Actually, trilbies have a curve in the back of the hat while fedoras are straight in the back of the hat]].  
There is virtually no difference between Fedoras and Trilbies, but the dastardly Jew cabal that pulls the strings of Wikipedia and the world at large would have you believe otherwise.  According to Wikipedia a Trilby is "a soft felt men's hat with a narrow brim and a deeply indented crown." while a Fedora is described as "a soft felt hat that is creased lengthwise down the crown and pinched in the front on both sides."  Wut.  I think a Trilby might be a tiny bit narrower than a Fedora, but beyond that it's the same hat.  I will kill myself if you can prove the two styles of the hat are significantly different, but you can't, so I wont. [[shit nobody cares about| actually, trilbies have a curve in the back of the hat while fedoras are straight in the back of the hat]].  


The Trilby is not to be confused with Trilby, the dashing gentleman-thief from those spiffy point-and-click Adventure games made by [[Yahtzee|Yahtzee Croshaw]], that guy who talks really fast about crummy videogames.  Unlike the [[Angry Video Game Nerd]], Yahtzee Croshaw covers more recent crummy games and wears a Fedora/Trilby IRL.
The Trilby is not to be confused with Trilby, the dashing gentleman-thief from those spiffy point-and-click Adventure games made by [[Yahtzee|Yahtzee Croshaw]], that guy who talks really fast about crummy videogames.  Unlike the [[Angry Video Game Nerd]], Yahtzee Croshaw covers more recent crummy games and wears a Fedora/Trilby IRL.
{{clear}}


[[Image:Pixelman.gif|thumb|Trilby, the protagonist of the "X Days a Something" games, seen in his signature gray suit and a <s>Fedora</s> <s>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trilby Trilby hat]</s> Fedora.]]
==The Female Fedora==
 
[[Image:AnimeHairAposematism.jpg|700px|center]]
 
The equivalent of the male feminist white knight or MRA (or female "anti-feminist" in rare cases like [[Dumblr Feminist]]). Fedora is the strictly feminist female's unnaturally colored hair.<br />
Popular in SJW circles, it a fashion statement made by such people as [[Zoe Quinn]], [[Big Red]] and [[Randi Harper]]. 99.9% of the time, this is also accentuated by short cuts and hair styles due to the irony that long hair is more feminine and less "tough" than SJWs desire to be, but paradoxes them by only communicating that they all want to be dikes and dickgirls because real feminism isn't tough enough.<br />
The Feminist hair is often combined with the "Problem Glasses".
 
 
<center>{{Template:scrollpic|problem glasses.jpg|1125|360|}}</center>
 
==Galleries==
{{cg|General|flarf|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Hipster_-_All_This_Class.png
Image:Hipster_-_Irony_Lost.png
Image:Fedora_-_Trying_Too_Hard.png
Image:Fredkruegerfedora.jpg|"Welcome to prime time, bitch!"
File:Feldmanfedora.jpg|You wanna look like the [[Michael_jackson|queen of pop]], you gotta sport that fedora.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Fedora_-_Militant_Atheist.png|<center>Malignant Atheist</center>
Image:Fedora_-_Look_Out_We_Got_A_Badass.png|<center>Look out!<br>We got a bad ass here!</center>
Image:Fedora_-_Fadora.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Weaboo.jpg|<center>Now comes in [[weaboo]]!</center>
Image:Fedora_-_Euphoric_-_01.gif|<center>Fat folds never felt better!</center>
Image:Fedora_-_Wow_So_Original.png|<center>WOW! Such originality!</center>
Image:Fedora_-_So_Not_Interested.jpg|<center>Not everyone will<br>be impressed.</center>
Image:Fedora_-_Check_Your_Fadora_Privilege.png
Image:Fedora_-_Intellectually_Superior.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Snapbacks.png
Image:Fedora_-_Atheist_And_Proud.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Demotivator.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Euphoric_-_Original.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Everywhere.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Gentlemen.png
Image:Fedora_-_Hey_Girls.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Recommendation.jpg
File:Fedora Union.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Tattoo.png
Image:Fedora_-_Superiority_Magazine.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_The_Fedorad_Gentleman.jpg
Image:Hipster_-_Magazine_-_Euphoria.png
Image:Fedoragoogle.png|what happens when you google "Fedora".
Image:Fedora_-_Pussy_Explora.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Doge.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Card.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Flair.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_The_Trouble.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Subreddit.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Someone.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Atheist.jpg|All [[atheists]] wear fedoras.
Image:Fedora_-_MLP_Toys.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Simpsons.jpg
File:Fat Katana Guy.jpg|*Teleports behind you*
Image:Fedora_-_01.png
Image:Fedora_-_02.png
Image:Fedora_-_04.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_05.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_06.png
Image:Fedora_-_07.png
Image:Fedora_-_08.png
Image:Fedora_-_09.png
Image:Fedora_-_10.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_11.gif
Image:Fedora_-_12.png
Image:Fedora_-_Friendzone_Intensifies.gif
Image:Fedora_-_Forever_Fedora.png
File:FedoraTrick.gif|Sooo euphoric!
File:Athist.png
File:Fedorafaggot.jpg
File:Jughead.jpg
File:Enlightenedfedorachristfag.jpg
Image:Mlighter.jpg
Image:M'penis.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
<br>
 
{{cg|Delusions Of Swag|tards|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Chi'nbus fedora fatty.png
Image:Fedora_-_Greasy_Fat-Beard.jpg|<center>Grease stains can<br>be problematic.</center>
Image:Fedora_-_Ginger_Neckbeard.jpg|<center>Ginger Neckbeard Variety</center>
Image:Fedora_-_03.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Fat_n_Classy...But_Mostly_Fat.jpg|<center>Fat 'n classy...<br>but mostly [[FAT]].</center>
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Fedora_-_Fat_Girlfriend.jpg|<center>Your [[fat]] [[imaginary girlfriend|girlfriend]] is<br>gonna love it!</center>
Image:Fedora_-_Your_Mom.jpg|<center>[[Your mom]] will think<br>you're cool!</center>
Image:Fedora_-_Smugfag.jpg|<center>Smugtard</center>
Image:Fedora_-_Pube_Beard.jpg|<center>Pube Beard</center>
Image:Fedora_-_Original.jpg
Image:Fanficcritips-fedora.png|<center>[[FanFic Critic]] is fond of wearing a fedora.</center>
Image:Fedora_-_Impressin_The_Ladies.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Jenkem_High.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Mexiboo.jpg|<center>[[Weaboo|Mexiboo]]</center>
Image:Fedora_-_Battle_Ready.jpg|<center>BATTLE READY!</center>
Image:Fedora_-_Battle_Ready_With_Blade.jpg|<center>SUPER BATTLE READY!</center>
Image:Fedora_-_Battle...Oh_Shi-.jpg|<center>BATTLE RE...OH SHI-</center>
Image:Fedora_-_Grease_Hipster.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Fags_-_01.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Fags_-_02.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Fags_-_03.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Fags_-_04.jpg|Doin' a bit a' thinkin' are you? You bug eyed little nothing.
Image:Fedora_-_Fags_-_05.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Fags_-_06.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Fags_-_07.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Fags_-_08.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Fags_-_09.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Fags_-_10.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Fags_-_11.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Fags_-_12.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Fags_-_13.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Fags_-_14.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Fags_-_15.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Fags_-_16.jpg
File:1195504822078.jpg
Image:Nickb_bate_fedora.jpg
</gallery>
|}}
<br>
 
{{cg|Comics|plarg|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Fedora_-_Comic_-_01.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Comic_-_02.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Comic_-_03.png
Image:Fedora_-_Comic_-_04.png
Image:Fedora_-_Comic.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Fedora_-_Metroid_Comic.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Euphoric_Comic.png
Image:Fedora_-_Achewood_Comic.gif
Image:Fedora_-_Eatthattoast_Comic.gif
Image:Fedora_-_Cyanide_Comic.png
Image:Fedora_-_Another_Cyanide_Comic.png
Image:Fedora_-_MLP_Shopping.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Flowchart.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Bingo.png
Image:Fedora_-_Comic_-_06.png
Image:Fedora_-_Comic_-_07.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Comic_-_08.png
Image:Fedora_-_Comic_-_09.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Comic_-_10.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Comic_-_11.png
Image:Fedora_-_Comic_-_12.png
Image:Fedora_-_Comic_-_13.png
Image:Fedora_-_Comic_-_14.png
Image:Fedora_-_Comic_-_15.png
Image:Fedora_-_Comic_-_16.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Comic_-_17.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Comic_-_18.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Comic_-_19.jpg
Image:Fedora_-_Comic_-_Rainbow_Dash_Bra.png
File:Tumblr n0e3mu4beg1qgzkjno1 500.png
File:EDCfedora.jpg|Take a glance at the glasses.
</gallery>
|}}
<br>
 
==Famous Fedora Faggots==
[[File:Jackofedora.jpg|thumb|right|250px|It's like a bat signal to home in [[Michael_jackson|little boys]].]]
[[File:HANK FEDORA.png|thumb|right|250px|Hank Schrader was a fedorafag, and [[Dead|look how that ended]].]]
[[File:Elliot Mlady.jpg|thumb|right|[[Elliot Rodger|M'lady.]]]]
*[[Elliot Rodger]]
*[[User:Cobaltcat|Cobaltcat]]
*[[Linkara]]
*[[Moviebob]]
*[[Yahtzee]] ''(okay, a Trilby,  <s>but fuck off!</s> lol butthurt fag)''
 
===People of today who wear fedoras===
*[[Asspie|Aspies]]
*[[Atheists]]
*[[Autism|Autists]]
*[[Bronies]]
*[[Liberals]]
*[[Libertarians]]
*[[Loveshy|Loveshies]]
*[[Feminazis|Male feminists]]
*Many [[Channel Awesome|TGWTG]] members
*[[MRA|Men's rights activists]]
*[[Nice Guys]]
*[[Nu male|Soyboys]]
*[[You]]
 
==See Also==
*[[Reddit]]
*[[Something Awful]]
*[[Edgy]]
*[[Loveshy]]
*[[Hat Simulator 2007]]
*[[Brandon_Smith]]


==Sources==
==Sources==
*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fedora_core
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fedora_core "Fedora Core" article on wikipedia]
*http://h1.ripway.com/jonisangry/fedoras.txt
*[http://h1.ripway.com/jonisangry/fedoras.txt ?????]
[[Category: Softwarez]]
 
{{dying alone}}
{{Timeline|Featured article October 27 & October 28, [[2013]]|[[Shit no one cares about]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Typical]]}}
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:IRL Shit]]
<div style="display:none">.

Latest revision as of 23:07, 24 March 2022

*Tips fedora*

The fedora (or brony-burka) is a hat with a small to medium-sized brim and its main section creased down the middle and pinched at the front end. The fedora is the elusive third piece of the three-piece suit.

The fedora was once the undisputed king of all hats, invented by top headwear scientists in the 1910s. All hats were lesser compared to the almighty fedora, until its untimely death at the hands of a million losers desperately trying to look cool, resulting in the fedora being co-opted as the official hat of autism.

As such, most fedoras nowadays are from Target or Wal-Mart, are made of shit cloth instead of felt and are only worn by basement dwellers who think that having it perched atop their greasy tangle of nasty-ass hair automatically makes them as cool as everyone in the following list.

The Fedora In Media (Or 'The Big List Of People Who Can Actually Look Cool In A Fedora')

Typical fedora owner.
Fedoras can save lives.

The fedora has made a reputation for itself in various forms of media, examples include:

  • Everybody in the Godfather movies
  • Indiana Jones
  • Everybody in Cinderella Man (despite the title)
  • Everybody in TF2
  • Indiana Jones
  • Humphrey Bogart
  • Frank Sinatra
  • Tom Landry
  • Indiana Jones
  • Johnny Depp
  • Young Indiana Jones
  • Al Roker, but he only straight-up rocks that shit on chilly days.
  • Inspector Gadget, and his had a helicopter built into it.
  • Freddy Krueger
  • Indiana Jones
  • Run-DMC
  • Some of the chicks from that Chicago movie, this is what is known in The Biz as "Pure Sex"
  • Indiana Jones
  • This crazy Butterfly-Mobster from the Shin Megami Tensei video game series.
  • Pimps

The Fedora Today

Alternative uses for fedoras.
Even in a video game, Vito Corleone rocks a fedora better than you can.

The fedora was hunted nearly to extinction at least 100 years ago when they invented dumbass little round hats around the 1940s and then later baseball caps. Now fedoras are found primarily on urban-type hipster assholes who aren't worthy of wearing the apex of hat technology. If you wear a fedora today, prepare to be laughed at. Instead, look up the wide variety of other hats one can still wear, and get one online.

The Evolution Of A Faggot In A Fedora

  • Get bullied all through school for being a nerd.
  • Decide to take cool and own it.
  • Purchase a fedora - an item which is considered a physical embodiment of cool.
  • Abandon all other aspects of cool, such as physique, personality, clothing and style.
  • Ride that one cool item you possess towards your hopes and dreams of coolness.
  • Look like a spastic.

Keep in mind you can add to the look with fingerless gloves, a horrible neckbeard that looks like dead spiders, and a retro t-shirt.

Identifying a fedora-wearer on the internet

Maximum autism unlocked.
*Tips for dora*.

Despite the general anonymity provided by the world-wide-web, there are several methods that can be used to track down and properly classify a fedora-wearing faggot.

One of the most vital steps in identification of the fedora-wearer is where most of their time online is spent, because fedora users tend to travel in large packs, they are easiest to spot in the following locations:

The next step in the identification process is quite possibly the most important: their tastes in media. Those who wear fedoras often accredit themselves as having a highly developed taste for the arts, this however is not true.

Entry-level cinema is a particular favorite of fedorafags, if the target mentions any of the following as being a "monumental", "groundbreaking", "creative", or even simply "good" film, there is a high likelihood they were wearing a fedora while doing so:

If the target's preference for film cannot be obtained (which is unlikely since fedorafags love to share their "excellent" taste in movies they perceive as being "deep"), there is also a chance they will at one point share their taste in music. The artists enjoyed by fedora-wearers are just as generic as the films they watch, and include but are not limited to:

There is also a slim chance the person in question may try to brandish the fantastic taste they have in literature as well. It should be noted that the only novels fedorafags have read are those they were forced to in high school; nevertheless, they often praise such juvenile works as:

  • A Catcher in the Rye
  • Jonathan Livingston Seagull
  • To Kill a Mockingbird
  • Anything by Poe
  • Anything by Stephen King
  • Anything by Ayn Rand
The fedora in its natural habitat: The 1930s
Very few men can get it right.

Fedorafags also like to think of themselves as funny, incredibly witty guys who have such a sophisticated sense of humor that whenever they make a joke and receive only stony silence/contemptuous looks from all the casuals around them, it's only because either A) they don't get it because they're too dumb to grasp the complex subtleties of the joke or B) they're so shocked by the totally edgy, uncompromising, in-your-face humor that their little sheeple lives have been thrown into complete disarray. Comedians favored by fedora-wearers include:

When it comes to fedora faggots, they're political views will most likely be libertarian, and another chance is that they might be avid Ron Paul supporters.

Why To Avoid Dating Or Befriending A Fedorafag

20 reasons to avoid those faggits

How dare you insult the fedora, you jealous ass haters!

Fedoras accentuate autism wonderfully

File:000.jpg
Where all Fedoras originate from.

Previous Video | Next Video

Scientology

It's like a bat signal to home in little boys.

Moar info: The Marcab Confederacy.

I can haz style too?

Apparently L. Ron Hubbard thinks fedora hats are an evil from a past alien civilization, and Scientologists are forbidden to wear them. Of course, there is a picture of L. Ron from before he started Scientology wearing a fedora, but they like to keep that hidden.

The Fedora as Softwarez

You can plug your hat into the Matrix and many lulz will ensue; doing this also has the benefit of providing a permanent +6 charisma enchantment to your fedora, and adds the "Jaunty" and "Rakish" commands to its setlist.

No, Srsly: The Fedora as Softwarez

Faildora Core is an RPM-based Linux distribution, developed by the community-supported Fedora Project and sponsored by Red Hat. The name derives from Red Hat's characteristic fedora used in its "Shadowman" logo. However, the Faildora community project had existed as a volunteer group providing extra software for the Red Hat Linux distribution before Red Hat got involved as a direct sponsor. Faildora is the pseudo l337 bleeding-edge piece of shit from RedHat used by geeks to satisfy their masochistic needs.

Vs. The Trilby

Results of a Google image-search for "Trilby" yields Fedoras. Google is Truth.
Trilby, the protagonist of the "X Days a Something" games, seen in his signature gray suit and a Fedora Trilby hat Fedora.

There is virtually no difference between Fedoras and Trilbies, but the dastardly Jew cabal that pulls the strings of Wikipedia and the world at large would have you believe otherwise. According to Wikipedia a Trilby is "a soft felt men's hat with a narrow brim and a deeply indented crown." while a Fedora is described as "a soft felt hat that is creased lengthwise down the crown and pinched in the front on both sides." Wut. I think a Trilby might be a tiny bit narrower than a Fedora, but beyond that it's the same hat. I will kill myself if you can prove the two styles of the hat are significantly different, but you can't, so I wont. Actually, trilbies have a curve in the back of the hat while fedoras are straight in the back of the hat.

The Trilby is not to be confused with Trilby, the dashing gentleman-thief from those spiffy point-and-click Adventure games made by Yahtzee Croshaw, that guy who talks really fast about crummy videogames. Unlike the Angry Video Game Nerd, Yahtzee Croshaw covers more recent crummy games and wears a Fedora/Trilby IRL.

The Female Fedora

The equivalent of the male feminist white knight or MRA (or female "anti-feminist" in rare cases like Dumblr Feminist). Fedora is the strictly feminist female's unnaturally colored hair.
Popular in SJW circles, it a fashion statement made by such people as Zoe Quinn, Big Red and Randi Harper. 99.9% of the time, this is also accentuated by short cuts and hair styles due to the irony that long hair is more feminine and less "tough" than SJWs desire to be, but paradoxes them by only communicating that they all want to be dikes and dickgirls because real feminism isn't tough enough.
The Feminist hair is often combined with the "Problem Glasses".


Use scrollbar to see the full image

Galleries

  • "Welcome to prime time, bitch!"
    "Welcome to prime time, bitch!"
  • You wanna look like the queen of pop, you gotta sport that fedora.
    You wanna look like the queen of pop, you gotta sport that fedora.
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • Malignant Atheist
    Malignant Atheist
  • Look out! We got a bad ass here!
    Look out!
    We got a bad ass here!
  • Now comes in weaboo!
    Now comes in weaboo!
  • Fat folds never felt better!
    Fat folds never felt better!
  • WOW! Such originality!
    WOW! Such originality!
  • Not everyone will be impressed.
    Not everyone will
    be impressed.
  • File:Fedora Union.jpg
  • what happens when you google "Fedora".
    what happens when you google "Fedora".
  • All atheists wear fedoras.
    All atheists wear fedoras.
  • *Teleports behind you*
    *Teleports behind you*
  • Sooo euphoric!
    Sooo euphoric!


Delusions Of Swag About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • Your fat girlfriend is gonna love it!
    Your fat girlfriend is
    gonna love it!
  • Your mom will think you're cool!
    Your mom will think
    you're cool!
  • Smugtard
    Smugtard
  • Pube Beard
    Pube Beard
  • FanFic Critic is fond of wearing a fedora.
    FanFic Critic is fond of wearing a fedora.
  • Mexiboo
    Mexiboo
  • BATTLE READY!
    BATTLE READY!
  • SUPER BATTLE READY!
    SUPER BATTLE READY!
  • BATTLE RE...OH SHI-
    BATTLE RE...OH SHI-
  • Doin' a bit a' thinkin' are you? You bug eyed little nothing.
    Doin' a bit a' thinkin' are you? You bug eyed little nothing.


[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • Take a glance at the glasses.
    Take a glance at the glasses.


Famous Fedora Faggots

It's like a bat signal to home in little boys.
Hank Schrader was a fedorafag, and look how that ended.
M'lady.

People of today who wear fedoras

See Also

Sources

Fedora is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron Alexis ☠ Aaron Bushnell ☠ Aaron Swartz ☠ Adam Lanza ☠ Alexis Arquette ☠ Amanda Todd ☠ Amy Winehouse ☠ Anal Cunt ☠ Andy Kaufman ☠ Angry Grandpa ☠ Anna Nicole Smith ☠ Anthony Warner ☠ Asa Coon ☠ Brian Adams ☠ Brandon Crisp ☠ Byuu ☠ Charmaine Dragun ☠ Cho Seung-Hui ☠ Chris Benoit ☠ Chris Harper-Mercer ☠ Chyna ☠ Codey Porter ☠ David Bowie ☠ David Carradine ☠ Dragoneer ☠ Eazy-E ☠ Edarem ☠ Elliot Rodger ☠ Elvis Presley ☠ George Sodini ☠ Gizgiz ☠ Gleb Korablev ☠ HappyCabbie ☠ Harambe ☠ H.P. Lovecraft ☠ Heath Ledger ☠ Jake Davison ☠ Jeff Weise ☠ JewWario ☠ Jim Morrison ☠ Kate Spade ☠ Kitty0706 ☠ Kurt Cobain ☠ Lemonade Coyote ☠ Leelah Alcorn ☠ Lil Peep ☠ Lilo ☠ Loki Blackfang ☠ Lowtax ☠ Mia Janin ☠ Megan Meier ☠ Michael Jackson ☠ Mitchell Henderson ☠ MySpace ☠ Nathan Gale ☠ Nikita Lytkin ☠ Otoya Yamaguchi ☠ Pekka-Eric Auvinen ☠ Prince ☠ Randy Stair ☠ Rehtaeh Parsons ☠ Ricardo Lopez ☠ Rina Palenkova ☠ Ripper ☠ Robin Williams ☠ Ronnie McNutt ☠ Rudolph Zurick ☠ Ryan Palmeter ☠ Shawn Woolley ☠ Shay ☠ Shuaiby ☠ Sol Pais ☠ Stephen Paddock ☠ Steve Stephens ☠ Thomas Matthew Crooks ☠ Tony48219 ☠ TooDamnFilthy ☠ Tyler Dumstorf ☠ Vester Flanagan ☠ William Atchison ☠ XXXTentacion ☠ Zhao Zewei

Those Dying Alone

03bgood ☠ 2cash ☠ 2 gryphon ☠ 7jackass77 ☠ Adam Sandler ☠ Ahuviya Harel ☠ AIDS Skrillex ☠ AkewsticRockR ☠ Alex Ford ☠ Alison Rapp ☠ America's Third Party ☠ Amy Schumer ☠ Andrew Allanson ☠ Angry Joe ☠ AnimatedJames ☠ Anita Sarkeesian ☠ Anonymous Borg ☠ Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto ☠ Antony Aguilar ☠ April Davis ☠ Aquagirlwhitefox ☠ Argent009 ☠ Arguecat3 ☠ Arin Hanson ☠ Armake21 ☠ Asalieri ☠ Asher2500 ☠ Austin Alexander ☠ AvantGardePony ☠ Bambifan101 ☠ Barneyfag ☠ Basement Dwellers ☠ Ben Ford ☠ Ben Moynihan ☠ Benny_the_Snake ☠ Benthelooney ☠ Big Red ☠ Bikerfox ☠ Bill9929 ☠ Bill Gaede ☠ Bill Gates ☠ BLACKbusterCritic ☠ Bob Rehahn ☠ BrandontheMovieGuy ☠ Brandon Smith ☠ Brian Mueller ☠ Brian Richard Zaiger ☠ Brianna Wu ☠ Bronies ☠ ButLova ☠ ByAppointmentTo ☠ Carl the Cuck ☠ Cartoonjunkie ☠ Caseydecker ☠ CatboyKami ☠ Cheeyev ☠ Chloe Sagal ☠ Chris-chan ☠ Chris Crocker ☠ Chuck M. ☠ Clint of Rise and Fall ☠ CopperCab ☠ Corey Margera ☠ Coughlan666 ☠ Crazyvideosandrants ☠ Crinklemon ☠ Cyraxx ☠ Daniel Brandt ☠ Dan Cilley ☠ Dane Cook ☠ Dani Filth ☠ Darius McCollum ☠ Darknessthecurse ☠ DarksydePhil ☠ Dave Chapelle ☠ Dave Mustaine ☠ David Hockey ☠ Daxflame ☠ DBoyWheeler ☠ Deeker ☠ DeterminedToDrawUT ☠ Dev-catscratch ☠ DGTrixie ☠ Diaper Boy ☠ Dillon Cossey ☠ Diogo Mendes ☠ DisneyFan01 ☠ DisneyMaster ☠ DJ KEEMSTAR ☠ Dnepropetrovsk maniacs ☠ DodgerofZion ☠ Dogpatch Press ☠ Don Roberts ☠ Doodletones ☠ Doomer3868 ☠ Dorian_Gay ☠ Doug Walker ☠ Drakon ☠ DrossRotzank ☠ Doomentio ☠ Dustin ☠ EDP445 ☠ Emer Prevost ☠ Emos ☠ Epic Fat Guy ☠ EpicKitty54 ☠ Eric Abramov ☠ Eric Ridenour ☠ Erik Ribsskog ☠ ErtasVideos ☠ Filthy Frank ☠ Fagolescents ☠ FanFic Critic ☠ Fast Eddie ☠ Fat Man ☠ Faust & Pory ☠ Five Nights at Freddy's fans ☠ Flardox ☠ Fluffy teh wolf ☠ ForeverKailyn ☠ Friends of A-Log ☠ Furries ☠ G-Zay ☠ Gather Against Fate ☠ George Lopez ☠ Geoshea ☠ Ghost ☠ Girlvinyl ☠ Globelamp ☠ GoddessMillenia ☠ Graykat ☠ Greg Mazujian ☠ Gwen Gale ☠ Gwen Stefani ☠ Harmful Opinions ☠ Hellkiller777 ☠ I Dislike Cis People ☠ I Hate Everything ☠ Ian Miles Cheong ☠ Ichverbot ☠ icze⁴r ☠ Imma-The-Deer ☠ InkBunny ☠ Isabella Loretta Janke ☠ Jamil The King ☠ Jessi Slaughter ☠ Jessica Leeds ☠ Jim Profit ☠ JINXDROWNED ☠ Joe Crusher Pickles ☠ Joeker ☠ John Bulla ☠ John Field ☠ John Kricfalusi ☠ John Patrick Rogers ☠ Jonathan McIntosh ☠ Jonmon ☠ JonTron ☠ Joseph Camp ☠ Joseph8276 ☠ Joshua "Null" Moon ☠ Juggalos ☠ JustinRPG ☠ Kat Dennings ☠ Kendall Jenner ☠ Keegan Salisbury ☠ Kathleen Todd ☠ Kenny Glenn ☠ Kevin Havens ☠ Keffals ☠ Kimmo Johan Alm ☠ KingEmpoleon ☠ KingMasterReview ☠ Krashed ☠ Laci Green ☠ Larry the Cable Guy ☠ Lauren Faust ☠ LeafyIsHere ☠ Lecarick ☠ Leigh Alexander ☠ LeisureSuitGaming ☠ Lena Dunham ☠ Leonard F. Shaner Jr. ☠ Leslie Jones ☠ LifeInATent ☠ Likeicare ☠ Linkara ☠ LittleCloud ☠ LittleKuriboh ☠ Logo Kids ☠ Lordelthibar ☠ Low Tier God ☠ Lucian Hodoboc ☠ M. Chaos ☠ A Man in Black ☠ Manchildren ☠ Mar9122 ☠ Marbles ☠ MarioMario456 ☠ Mariotehplumber ☠ Marjan Siklic ☠ masteroogwgay ☠ Matthew Davis ☠ Matthew Nicholson ☠ McJuggerNuggets ☠ MDetector5‎ ☠ Meowbark ☠ MeganSpeaks ☠ Michael Batton ☠ Michael Fitzhywel ☠ Michael Gimson ☠ Mike Sandy ☠ Moleman9000 ☠ Monica Punk ☠ MonkeyGameGuides ☠ Moviebob ☠ Mumkey Jones ☠ MuZemike ☠ MylarBalloonFan ☠ MysteriousMrEnter ☠ MysticArk ☠ NaokoElric2250 ☠ NawlinWiki ☠ Neckbeards ☠ NeoGAF ☠ Nick Bate ☠ Nick Bravo ☠ Nikkineko333 ☠ Noah Antwiler ☠ Nostalgia Chick ☠ Notch ☠ Nullcherri ☠ Objectfags ☠ OFWGKTA ☠ Onideus Mad Hatter ☠ Onyx Forepaw ☠ Pacificoceanasia ☠ PaigeGirl ☠ Paul Feig ☠ Paulie Calafiore ☠ Parkourdude91 ☠ Peter Bright ☠ Peter Coffin ☠ PhantomStrider8 ☠ Phil Fish ☠ PhunWithLogic ☠ Pinkiepony ☠ Pit Viper ☠ Pixyteri ☠ Peluchin Entertainment ☠ PMRants ☠ Preachingthegospel ☠ Quentin Tarantino ☠ Rachael MacFarlane ☠ Randi Harper ☠ Richard Reid ☠ Ricki Raven ☠ RMG Productions ☠ Robert Stainton ☠ Robert Wayne Stiles ☠ Rockosocko ☠ Romeo Rose ☠ Rootbrian ☠ Rose3212 ☠ Ryan Routh ☠ Sad Frog ☠ SammyClassicSonicFan ☠ Sam Pepper ☠ Sarah Butts ☠ Sarahisnifty ☠ SaturnDOS ☠ Sceptre ☠ Schnookums ☠ Segacamp ☠ Sega Kid ☠ Seth MacFarlane ☠ Sethisto ☠ Shadman ☠ Simply Okami ☠ Slowbeef & Diabetus ☠ Snapesnogger ☠ Sonic Savior ☠ Sonmanic ☠ Sony-Mae ☠ Sophie Labelle ☠ Spax3 ☠ Stormy ☠ Superlisamcb ☠ Susan Boyle ☠ Tara Strong ☠ TheAmazingAtheist ☠ TheDOSFag ☠ TheSockDetective ☠ Tim Buckley ☠ TJ Lane ☠ Todd in the Shadows ☠ Tom Preston ☠ ToonEGuy ☠ Tourneyfags ☠ Trey Eric Sesler ☠ Trigglypuff ☠ Tyciol ☠ Tyler Garmany ☠ Ulillillia ☠ The Unknown Autobot ☠ Vade ☠ VinceintheBay ☠ Wade Fulp ☠ WeatherManKevin ☠ Wesley!!! ☠ WoWfan4life ☠ Wwwarea ☠ Weegeeisgoingtokillm ☠ Xenuria ☠ YandereDev ☠ Yoshiwii1 ☠ You ☠ youngbloodfantasy91 ☠ Zoe Quinn ☠ Zone

Their Methods

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Featured article October 27 & October 28, 2013
Preceded by
Shit no one cares about 		Fedora Succeeded by
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