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Mark Essex: Difference between revisions
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[[File:essex-navy.jpg|thumb|I'ma ''keel'' you for dressin me up like this, Honky!]] '''Mark Essex''' was a [[New Orleans|N'awlins]] [http://bobbyseale.com Black Panther] and [[retard|dumb]] [[nigger]] [[IRL troll]] before [[you]] were born who went for a [[high score]] pwning "just honkies" and then proceeded (because he was ruh-[[dumbass|TARD]]-ed) to murder a [[Uncle Tom|'''black''' police officer]]. His plan was [[stupid|simple]]. He took his .44 Magnum Ruger Deerslayer to the police station and waited in the parking lot for [[pigs]] to come out. After scoring two kills (one black), he got away on foot, '''not''' because he was too poor to own a car, but because [[racism|niggers have extra ligaments in their legs which make them faster than cars.]] | |||
[[File:deadessex.jpg|thumb|Deader'n shit. Hmm...this'un here's gon' be good eatin'!]] | |||
Using his finger-like monkey toes he then swung up from a nearby tree onto the roof of the Downtown Howard Johnson, gaining perfect sniper position and for over ten hours picked off rescue workers, cops and other bystanders while shouting down [[ebonics|Niggerish]] such as "Free Africa! Come on up, pigs!" and "Come on out, you honky motherfuckers! You afraid to fight like a black man?" | |||
{{quote|Over the noise of the shooting, Essex’s high-pitched screech could be heard, “Die, you fucking pigs!"}} | |||
[[File:hojo.jpg|thumb|left|'Step away from the dead nigger...while we wait for the forks.']] | |||
==The Pigs Fire Back== | |||
The honky pigs thought they were smart and sent up a [[Roflcopter|ghetto bird]] full of machine gunners to [[pwn]] his ass [[Vietnam|'Nam]] style but he was faster than the bullets and took cover under a concrete cubicle for the night. In the morning [[retard|thinking everyone had gone home]] Essex walked out and got super-pwned by police snipers and [[alpha male|Marine]] machine gunners who all simultaneously unloaded into his black ass achieving a [[orgasm|record score]] of over two hundred killshots on a single target while [[fapping]] furiously to the image of a [[art|fresh bloody nigger corpse.]] | |||
The police then ate the [[food|body]], adding [[nigger|hot sauce]] and spitting the bullets out like [[nigger|watermelon seeds]] and washing it all down with [[nigger|40 OZ.]] cans of [[nigger|©Magnum malt liquor]]. | |||
== Background == | |||
[[File:niggerish.jpg|thumb|<del>Niggerish</del> Good writing]] [[gay|Scared]] of the [[death|draft]] and a total pussy, Essex joined the [[Navy]], earning the valorous position of [[slave|Dental Assistant]]. But Essex was a nigger and he was black, and at the [[gay bar|Naval base]] the [[pretty cool guy|white officers]] were [http://www.crimemagazine.com/sniper-mark-essex "treating (him) like a nigger!"] and calling him "black boy." This was too much [[butthurt|truth]]. And because the [[butthurt|truth]] is the source of all the world's [[truth|butthurt]] (and because there were no [[vomit|chitlins]]), Essex's ass began to bleed hate for the [[racist|White Man]] and his [[win|goddamn reasonable attitudes and functional institutions]]. Discovering he was too much of a pussy even for the Navy, the young Essex thought he might fit in with the Black <del>Panthers</del> [[vagina|Pussies]], who also bled from their asses and blamed the [[God|White Man]]. There he was taught how to write militant retarded [[poetry|Niggetry]] on his walls, like "Shoot the devil like you shoot a dog pig pig" and "kill black pig devil" and "Hate white people dick dirt." | |||
== Science? == | |||
[[File:essexroof.jpg|thumb|honky pig food]] | |||
After the rooftop [[lollercaust|riflefun]], Black-est Panther Stokely Carmichael confused everyone by using big words and counting past 10. | |||
{{quote|We should study and learn from the actions of Brother Jimmy Essex. We should understand that Brother Essex carried our struggle to its next quantitative level, the level of science.|[[fail|Black Power]]}} | |||
Of course none of the brothers understood what the fuck dude was talking about or what [[science]] was (unless he was referring to Essex's Dentistry background??) and the [[fail|Panthers]] continued to be better known as the Black Pussies because as everybody knows if you call yourselves the "Panthers" you're obviously a bunch of [[female|Fags]]. And anyway, none of the other brothers seemed to follow Brother Essex in becoming lulzy honky pig killers because they and the honky pigs were of a like mind on one thing: [[lulz|it's more fun to kill niggers]]. | |||
=="Right On!"== | |||
{{quote|Knowing that the sniper’s targets were whites, and understanding his [[butthurt|hatred]] all-too-well, some black onlookers greeted the sniper’s rifle shots with enthusiastic cries of “Right on!”}} | |||
With the help of this soul chorus down on the street shouting things like "There go one over thar! Keel him too!", Essex was able to pierce the guts and blow the faces off of many deserving honkies and honky pigs. The police on the ground then [http://www.crimemagazine.com/sniper-mark-essex accidentally] turned their guns on the nigger cheerleaders, but failed to score. | |||
== Graded Score == | |||
{{GradedScore|9|13 injured|16| |18|Shot and ran like the average nigger|17| |15|GTA in the [[1970s]]|75|C|Thank you, [[Micah Xavier Johnson|Micah]]'s grandfather}} | |||
{{Wanted|5}} | |||
==See Also== | |||
*[[Charles Whitman]] | |||
*[[Anders Behring Breivik]] | |||
*[[Micah Xavier Johnson]] - tried to copy Mark over 40 years later, but scored less kills. | |||
*[[Columbine]] | |||
*[[Cho]] | |||
*[[niggers|African-Americans]] | |||
*[[Pigs]] | |||
{{Terrorists}} | |||
{{High Scores}} | |||
{{blackpeople}} | |||
{{Psychopaths}} | |||
{{Trolls}} | |||
Latest revision as of 16:33, 26 October 2024
Mark Essex was a N'awlins Black Panther and dumb nigger IRL troll before you were born who went for a high score pwning "just honkies" and then proceeded (because he was ruh-TARD-ed) to murder a black police officer. His plan was simple. He took his .44 Magnum Ruger Deerslayer to the police station and waited in the parking lot for pigs to come out. After scoring two kills (one black), he got away on foot, not because he was too poor to own a car, but because niggers have extra ligaments in their legs which make them faster than cars.
Using his finger-like monkey toes he then swung up from a nearby tree onto the roof of the Downtown Howard Johnson, gaining perfect sniper position and for over ten hours picked off rescue workers, cops and other bystanders while shouting down Niggerish such as "Free Africa! Come on up, pigs!" and "Come on out, you honky motherfuckers! You afraid to fight like a black man?"
The Pigs Fire Back
The honky pigs thought they were smart and sent up a ghetto bird full of machine gunners to pwn his ass 'Nam style but he was faster than the bullets and took cover under a concrete cubicle for the night. In the morning thinking everyone had gone home Essex walked out and got super-pwned by police snipers and Marine machine gunners who all simultaneously unloaded into his black ass achieving a record score of over two hundred killshots on a single target while fapping furiously to the image of a fresh bloody nigger corpse.
The police then ate the body, adding hot sauce and spitting the bullets out like watermelon seeds and washing it all down with 40 OZ. cans of ©Magnum malt liquor.
Background
Scared of the draft and a total pussy, Essex joined the Navy, earning the valorous position of Dental Assistant. But Essex was a nigger and he was black, and at the Naval base the white officers were "treating (him) like a nigger!" and calling him "black boy." This was too much truth. And because the truth is the source of all the world's butthurt (and because there were no chitlins), Essex's ass began to bleed hate for the White Man and his goddamn reasonable attitudes and functional institutions. Discovering he was too much of a pussy even for the Navy, the young Essex thought he might fit in with the Black Panthers Pussies, who also bled from their asses and blamed the White Man. There he was taught how to write militant retarded Niggetry on his walls, like "Shoot the devil like you shoot a dog pig pig" and "kill black pig devil" and "Hate white people dick dirt."
Science?
After the rooftop riflefun, Black-est Panther Stokely Carmichael confused everyone by using big words and counting past 10.
Of course none of the brothers understood what the fuck dude was talking about or what science was (unless he was referring to Essex's Dentistry background??) and the Panthers continued to be better known as the Black Pussies because as everybody knows if you call yourselves the "Panthers" you're obviously a bunch of Fags. And anyway, none of the other brothers seemed to follow Brother Essex in becoming lulzy honky pig killers because they and the honky pigs were of a like mind on one thing: it's more fun to kill niggers.
"Right On!"
With the help of this soul chorus down on the street shouting things like "There go one over thar! Keel him too!", Essex was able to pierce the guts and blow the faces off of many deserving honkies and honky pigs. The police on the ground then accidentally turned their guns on the nigger cheerleaders, but failed to score.
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 9/20 13 injured |
|---|---|
| Accuracy: | 16/20 |
| Style: | 18/20 Shot and ran like the average nigger |
| Butthurt: | 17/20 |
| Bonus: | 15/20 GTA in the 1970s |
Wanted Level:
National Guard
See Also
- Charles Whitman
- Anders Behring Breivik
- Micah Xavier Johnson - tried to copy Mark over 40 years later, but scored less kills.
- Columbine
- Cho
- African-Americans
- Pigs
|
Mark Essex is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |