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[[ | {{achtung|ELVIS PRESLEY'S DAUGHTER LISA MARIE HAS DIED AT AGE 54}} | ||
[[Image:Elvis Lives.jpg|thumb|The King returns to his [[white trash|roots]].]] | |||
[[Image:Nixon elvis.png|thumb|Elvis was [[BFF]] with [[Nixon]].]] | |||
[[Image:PresleyPriscilla.jpg|thumb|right|[[I'd hit it|His wife today]]. Good thing she thinks he's dead.]] | |||
'''Elvis Aryan Presley''' <strike>is</strike> was an [[IRL]] singer and ([[fatass|fat]])[[ass]] man most [[famous]] for parodying [[nigger]] [[music]], as anything which seems commonplace for blacks looks downright [[lulz|ridiculous]] when performed by [[white people]]. He was also a former [[Army]] soldier at [[Fort Hood]]; his film ''[[Jihad|Harum Scarum]]'' would indirectly inspire Nidal Malik Hasan to seek his own [[celebrity]] with [[epic]] results. | |||
' | Like all [[Rock]] stars, Elvis fucked [[Your Mom|many women]] and did lots of [[drugs]]. He later tried to have [[The Beatles]] banned from the [[Jewnited States]] because they were hogging all the good pussy and also because they were bigger than [[Jesus]] while he was only as good as Jesus, ranking just behind [[Fat Larry's Band]]. After his wife, [[MILF|Priscilla Presley]], took half his [[stuff]] and converted to [[Scientology]], he [[accidentally]] barbiturates and [[HNNNNNNGGGGG]]ed on the [[shitter]] as a result of [[COVID]] so Priscilla could not take the other half of his stuff. | ||
That's the general [[consensus]] anyway. | |||
{{quote|The great joke was that we were taking [illegal] drugs, [[irony|and look what happened to him]].|[[Paul McCartney]]| on Elvis narking on The Beatles.}} | |||
{{quote|The Doctors know what they're doing. If there was any danger, they wouldn't be prescribing them to me.|[[Elvis]]| on doctors and prescription drugs.}} | |||
==[[Trolling IRL]]== | |||
[[Image:Elvis Conspiracy.jpg|thumb|]] | |||
It is [[common knowledge]] that "[[The King]]" ODed on the [[toilet|throne]] and has been [[Dead|grave dust]] since [[at least 100 years ago|1977]], yet [[some argue|some believe]] that he is still alive and occasionally appears at random [[McDonald's|diners and truck stops]], but these are often disproven as just [[Attention Whores|wannabe Elvis impersonators]]. | |||
Various [[theories]] have arisen over the years: | |||
* He faked his death so his ex-wife would stop [[Woman|bitchin']] at him for all his money and currently lives in an [[Retired]]ment home in East [[Texas]], fighting [[zombie|mummies]] with [[John F. Kennedy]] who is disguised as a [[negro]] ([[Elvis Presley#Elvis Discovered|see below]]). | |||
* [[I did it for the lulz|He did it for the insurance]]. | |||
* He needed to avoid [[Mafia|certain people]] and make some debt go away. | |||
* [[Jews_did_wtc|JEWS DID ELVIS!!!]] [[Buttsecks|IN THE ASS!!!]] | |||
* He got tired of fame on [[Earth]] and returned to his [[Xenu|home planet]]. | |||
* His [[ghost|spirit]] remains restless. | |||
* Colonel Parker did it. | |||
* [[You]] killed him, you effing dickwad! | |||
{{quote|Elvis is not dead. He just went home.|Official [[CIA]] report}} | |||
<center> | |||
{{fv|vids|background-color: #ffffff;|font-weight: bold; | |||
|<youtube>V3rlV1x-MDw</youtube><br> | |||
<center></center> | |||
|<youtube>dyaJnZjTu6s</youtube><br> | |||
<center></center> | |||
}}</center> | |||
There is literally a shit-ton of videos like [[bullshit|these]] which amount to little more than dumb bitches getting [[trolled]] by Elvis look-alikes. Besides, even if Elvis didn't die when everyone said he did, he would have surely dropped dead when his daughter married [[Michael Jackson]]. | |||
==Trolling Elvis Fans== | |||
* Make fun of Elvis' death. | |||
* Make jokes about Elvis' weight. | |||
* Say that Elvis is overrated. | |||
* Mention that Elvis "stole" all of his music from [[blacks]]. | |||
* Say that Elvis was a racist. | |||
* Tell them that [[Michael Jackson]] was the better artist . | |||
* Take a shit on Elvis' grave. | |||
* Say that Elvis was a drug addicted fatso that deserved what he got. | |||
* Tell them that the Beatles (and John Lennon) were better. | |||
* Film yourself pissing on the Graceland's front lawn. | |||
* Call Elvis a white trash hillbilly redneck. | |||
* Bring up the fact that Elvis never toured anywhere outside the USA. | |||
* Make fun of his wife and daughter. | |||
* Say that Elvis was a [[True|bad actor]] who starred in [[Fact|shitty movies]]. | |||
* Say that Elvis was never "[[the best|the king]]". | |||
==Elvis Discovered== | |||
[[Image:Bubba Ho-tep Elvis and JFK.gif|thumb|right|Elvis and Jack Kennedy get ready to kick some ass.]] | |||
Don Coscarelli's 2002 film ''Bubba Ho-Tep'' was in [[fact]] a documentary composed after years of searching a trail of clues and eyewitness accounts, particularly the written testimony of Joe R. Lansdale. [[DNA]] [[The Burden of Proof|evidence has proven]] that Elvis is indeed living in a [[Hell|retirement home]] in an undisclosed location in [[Dallas|East Texas]], along with a [[oxymoron|black gentleman]] [[Insane|who is merely under the impression that he is in fact former president Kennedy]]. Unlike Elvis, however, JFK is without a doubt dead and gone as it is impossible to fake your brain splattering out all over your motorcade. | |||
Due to the film's limited exposure, however, it is still widely assumed that [[fact|the King is dead]]. | |||
<br><br><br> | |||
==The King's Gallery== | |||
{{cg|Thank you very much|elvisgallery|center|<gallery> | |||
Image:Fat Elvis Demotivational.jpg|Elvis liked [[pie]]. | |||
Image:Jailhouse Elvis.jpg|He starred in films such as ''Elvis Goes to Jail''. | |||
Image:Harum Scarum.jpg|[[Nick Berg|Scene]] from ''[[durka durka|Harum Scarum]]''. | |||
Image:Elvis Karate.jpg|[[Chuck Norris|King of Karate]] | |||
</gallery>|<gallery> | |||
Image:Hound Dog.jpg|You ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine. | |||
Image:Thatsnomoon.jpg|He can't walk out. | |||
Image:Toilet Elvis.gif| | |||
Image:ELV.jpg|[[I See What You Did There]]. | |||
Image:ElvisPresleyAgeProgression.jpg|I never knew Elvis was My Grandfather. | |||
Image:The Naked Gun.jpg|Priscilla left him for [[old meme|Leslie Nielsen]]. | |||
Image:SacredheartofElvis.jpg|The Beatles were greater than Jesus, Elvis, and [[Jesus Tortilla|Grilled cheese Elvis]] put together. | |||
Image:Bitchesevlis2222.jpg|'Nuff said. | |||
File:Fat-elvis.jpg | |||
File:Desert Elvis.jpg | |||
File:Fat Elvis.jpg | |||
File:Kung Fu Elvis.jpg | |||
File:Elvis.jpg | |||
File:Arab Elvis.jpg | |||
File:20180806 235441.jpg|[[Garbage Pail Kids|GPK]] TCB | |||
</gallery>}} | |||
==Elvis Lives== | |||
<center> | |||
{{frame|{{fv|elvisvids|background-color: #FFFFFF;|font-weight: bold;| | |||
<youtube>wXH95kHlj7A</youtube><br><center></center>| | |||
<youtube>VzsRQlr_aYg</youtube><br><center></center>| | |||
}}|border=#000000|background=#FFFFFF}} | |||
</center> | |||
==Elvis Dies== | |||
[[Image:Zombie Elvis.jpg|frame|center|So I herd you bitches thought I was dead.]] | |||
Just because some people claim to have seen him doesn't necessarily mean that he's still alive. With documentaries, compilation albums, and re-releases of his old classics, it's apparent that he is worth more dead than alive. Everyone knows this, even the King. | |||
{{quote|Hey baby, I ain't askin' much of you | |||
No no no no no no no no baby, I ain't askin' much of you | |||
Just a big-a big-a hunk o' brain will do | |||
Don't be a stingy little mama | |||
...You're 'bout to starve me half to death | |||
Well you can spare a lobe or two and | |||
Still have plenty left, no no no | |||
Baby, I ain't askin' much of you | |||
Just a big-a big-a hunk o' brain will do}} | |||
==Moar== | |||
{{cg|King of the Damned|deadelvisgallery|center|<gallery> | |||
Image:Hellvis.jpg | |||
Image:Dead Elvis.jpg | |||
Image:Long live the King.jpg | |||
Image:Death in Vegas.jpg | |||
</gallery>|<gallery> | |||
Image:Dig Em Up.jpg | |||
Image:Get Outta My Grave.jpg|Not even his undead fans will leave him the Hell alone. | |||
Image:Dead Elvis is Chinese.jpg | |||
Image:Principal Hellvis.png | |||
Image:Dead Elvis Jesus.jpg | |||
Image:Elvis Half-Skinned.jpg | |||
Image:Zombie Elvis2.jpg | |||
Image:Zombie Elvis3.jpg | |||
Image:Zombie Elvis4.jpg | |||
Image:Zombie Elvis5.jpg | |||
Image:Elvis Eddy.jpg | |||
Image:Elvis ghost.jpg | |||
</gallery>}} | |||
<center><youtube>_89_tj3BSNM</youtube></center> | |||
==See Also== | |||
*[[Mississippi]] | |||
*[[Burger King]] | |||
*[[Conspiracy Theory]] | |||
*[[Drugs]] | |||
*[[Fat]] | |||
*[[Jesus]] | |||
*[[Toilet Seat]] | |||
*[[White trash]] | |||
*[[Wigger]] | |||
*Our very own sexy EDiot [[user: Elvis|Elvis]] | |||
*[[Writing yourself into an article]] | |||
<br> | |||
{{Christianity}} | |||
{{dyingalone}} | |||
{{music}} | |||
{{truth}} | |||
[[Category:People]] | |||
[[Category:Music]] | |||
{{timeline|Article of the Now March 14 & 15, [[2024]]|[[H8]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Ginger]]}} | |||
Latest revision as of 16:38, 25 August 2024
|
ELVIS PRESLEY'S DAUGHTER LISA MARIE HAS DIED AT AGE 54 |
Elvis Aryan Presley is was an IRL singer and (fat)ass man most famous for parodying nigger music, as anything which seems commonplace for blacks looks downright ridiculous when performed by white people. He was also a former Army soldier at Fort Hood; his film Harum Scarum would indirectly inspire Nidal Malik Hasan to seek his own celebrity with epic results.
Like all Rock stars, Elvis fucked many women and did lots of drugs. He later tried to have The Beatles banned from the Jewnited States because they were hogging all the good pussy and also because they were bigger than Jesus while he was only as good as Jesus, ranking just behind Fat Larry's Band. After his wife, Priscilla Presley, took half his stuff and converted to Scientology, he accidentally barbiturates and HNNNNNNGGGGGed on the shitter as a result of COVID so Priscilla could not take the other half of his stuff.
That's the general consensus anyway.
—Paul McCartney, on Elvis narking on The Beatles. | ||
—Elvis, on doctors and prescription drugs. | ||
Trolling IRL
It is common knowledge that "The King" ODed on the throne and has been grave dust since 1977, yet some believe that he is still alive and occasionally appears at random diners and truck stops, but these are often disproven as just wannabe Elvis impersonators.
Various theories have arisen over the years:
- He faked his death so his ex-wife would stop bitchin' at him for all his money and currently lives in an Retiredment home in East Texas, fighting mummies with John F. Kennedy who is disguised as a negro (see below).
- He did it for the insurance.
- He needed to avoid certain people and make some debt go away.
- JEWS DID ELVIS!!! IN THE ASS!!!
- He got tired of fame on Earth and returned to his home planet.
- His spirit remains restless.
- Colonel Parker did it.
- You killed him, you effing dickwad!
—Official CIA report | ||
Previous Video | Next Video
There is literally a shit-ton of videos like these which amount to little more than dumb bitches getting trolled by Elvis look-alikes. Besides, even if Elvis didn't die when everyone said he did, he would have surely dropped dead when his daughter married Michael Jackson.
Trolling Elvis Fans
- Make fun of Elvis' death.
- Make jokes about Elvis' weight.
- Say that Elvis is overrated.
- Mention that Elvis "stole" all of his music from blacks.
- Say that Elvis was a racist.
- Tell them that Michael Jackson was the better artist .
- Take a shit on Elvis' grave.
- Say that Elvis was a drug addicted fatso that deserved what he got.
- Tell them that the Beatles (and John Lennon) were better.
- Film yourself pissing on the Graceland's front lawn.
- Call Elvis a white trash hillbilly redneck.
- Bring up the fact that Elvis never toured anywhere outside the USA.
- Make fun of his wife and daughter.
- Say that Elvis was a bad actor who starred in shitty movies.
- Say that Elvis was never "the king".
Elvis Discovered
Don Coscarelli's 2002 film Bubba Ho-Tep was in fact a documentary composed after years of searching a trail of clues and eyewitness accounts, particularly the written testimony of Joe R. Lansdale. DNA evidence has proven that Elvis is indeed living in a retirement home in an undisclosed location in East Texas, along with a black gentleman who is merely under the impression that he is in fact former president Kennedy. Unlike Elvis, however, JFK is without a doubt dead and gone as it is impossible to fake your brain splattering out all over your motorcade.
Due to the film's limited exposure, however, it is still widely assumed that the King is dead.
The King's Gallery
Thank you very much About missing Pics
-
Elvis liked pie. -
He starred in films such as Elvis Goes to Jail. -
Scene from Harum Scarum. -
[Expand Gallery]
-
You ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine. -
He can't walk out. -
-
-
I never knew Elvis was My Grandfather. -
Priscilla left him for Leslie Nielsen. -
The Beatles were greater than Jesus, Elvis, and Grilled cheese Elvis put together. -
'Nuff said. -
-
-
-
-
-
-
GPK TCB
Elvis Lives
Previous Video | Next Video |
Elvis Dies
Just because some people claim to have seen him doesn't necessarily mean that he's still alive. With documentaries, compilation albums, and re-releases of his old classics, it's apparent that he is worth more dead than alive. Everyone knows this, even the King.
Moar
King of the Damned About missing Pics
[Expand Gallery]
-
-
Not even his undead fans will leave him the Hell alone. -
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
See Also
- Mississippi
- Burger King
- Conspiracy Theory
- Drugs
- Fat
- Jesus
- Toilet Seat
- White trash
- Wigger
- Our very own sexy EDiot Elvis
- Writing yourself into an article
|
Elvis Presley is part of a series on Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage. |
|
Elvis Presley is part of a series on Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage. |
| Article of the Now March 14 & 15, 2024 | ||
| Preceded by H8 |
Elvis Presley | Succeeded by Ginger |