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[[Image:Fleshlight1.gif|frame|center|Oh i'm sure it does [[Dave Kelly|Dave]].... [[sarcasm|Sure it does]].]]
[[Image:Fleshlight1.gif|frame|center|Sure it does, [[Dave Kelly|Dave]]. Sure it does.]]
[[Image:Fleshy4.gif|frame|center|And if you buy one you probably ''were'' sitting at home jerking off on prom night.]]
[[Image:Fleshlight_toon.gif|frame|center|You selfish bastard, it's always about you, isn't it?!]]  
[[Image:Fleshlight_toon.gif|frame|center|You selfish bastard, it's always about you, isn't it?!]]  
A '''fleshlight''' is a sex toy made for people who, for some reason, lack the ability to use the perfectly good hand that [[Slut|Mother Nature]] has given them to use to simulate the feeling of secks. It's basically a rubber [[cunt|vagina]] in an enclosure that even Helen Keller wouldn't mistake for a flashlight, with “''2 million dollars spent in research and development''”.  In other words it is money well-spent to satisfy the pathetic needs of [[basement dwellers]], whilst laminating their [[virginity|V cards]] in the process.
'''Fleshlight''' is a sex toy made for people who, for some reason, lack the ability to use the perfectly good hand that Mother Nature has given them to simulate the feeling of sex. With “''[[Bullshit|2 million dollars spent in research and development]]''”, it is money well-spent to satisfy the pathetic needs of [[basement dwellers]], while laminating their [[virginity|V cards]] in the process.
<br>
If you should choose to shove your tiny cock into one of these rubbery death traps, it will get smaller than it already is and you won't be able to pleasure even the most common of whores.
Fleshlights come in many varieties ranging from mouths, asses, vaginas, and [[your mom|whatever else to suit your sexual needs]]. They also come in pink and clear, for the people who enjoy fucking raw shrimp. Note that all the types and colors feel the same, and it's just to satisfy your greedy needs. ([[You]] are probably the most likely person on Earth to buy one of each color, inner texture, case color, and type. Geek.) The makers of the fleshlight can easily make claims that it [[lie|"feels just like the real thing"]] because they know that 99.9% of the [[basement dwelling]] [[neckbeard]]s who buy the product have never experienced a real [[pussy]] and probably never will. If the makers of fleshlight ''really'' wanted to make increase their [[profit]]s ten-fold, they would appeal to the [[furry]] market by making a series of dog vaginas for these [[sick fuck]]s.  Unsurprisingly many threads in /[[b]]/ pop up from time to time with people considering buying one, while [[cooldude|others]] laugh their asses off at the original poster.
{{quote|[[Bullshit|I am an ordained pastor, PHd, successful businessman, martial artist, father of seven, satisfied husband]]. The product was a challenge for me intellectually and morally until I thought it through, then I realized that a quality surrogate was a great solution to an ancient problem - the feeling of freedom, the release of guilt, the incredible sensation - just telling it like it is.|[http://www.fleshlight.com/main/testimonials.php Holy Wanker]|Does anyone have a clue about what the fuck he's talking about?}}
                       
==Fleshlight Videos==
[[File:Fleshlight_redundancy.png|thumb|350px|[[YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG]] when you choose to fuck a fake vagina over a real one.]]
[[File:Amazon_world_of_warcraft_fleshlight.jpg|thumb|[[surprise|surprise?]]]]


{{fv|starvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;|<youtube>Pfs6YAYeJ10</youtube>|<youtube>YVcydqSpYN00</youtube>|<youtube>zSa2us0jkHI</youtube>|<youtube>qQRbO-dgBMg</youtube>|<youtube>nwKAtUbNloQ</youtube>|<youtube>Gcusl4jv2_U</youtube>|<youtube>tKQOSikXiow</youtube>}}
Fleshlights come in many varieties ranging from [[:File:VampireFleshlight.jpg|mouth]], anus, and [[your mom|whatever else to suit your sexual needs]]. Besides pink, they also come clear, for people who enjoy fucking raw shrimp.


The makers of Fleshlight can easily make claims that it [[lie|"feels just like the real thing"]] because they know that 99% of the buyers have never experienced a real [[pussy]] and probably never will. Made out of pink bubblegum, the Fleshlight is the most unnatural alternative to a cunt you will ever feel. It also comes in variety of 'textures',  one of which only appears in the natural world during an [[STD]] outbreak. [[Pedobear]] is said to have designed the 'ultra-tight' one just for [[you]]. You'll love it.         
[[Image:Textures.jpg|frame|center|Either way, it'll feel like you're humping [[DBZ|Majin Buu]].]]


==Gallery==
Just when you thought it couldn't get any more unnatural, the terror kicks in.
<gallery>
Image:Fleshlight.jpg|vagina in a convenient package.
Image:Froglight.png|[[GET OUT|GET IN]]
Image:0.69 caliber.jpg|Fleshlight, now catering for gun fucking red necks.
Image:PinkButt.jpg|For [[gay|closetcases]] too!
Image:Fleshlight_motivation.jpg|Motivate me, /b/!
Image:Fleshlightowner.GIF|[http://www.miscellaneousetc.com/index.php/2004/12/01/hilarious-sex-toy-round-up-fleshlight/ This review] brought out a butthurt response by an obvious fleshlight owner.
Image:Lol-wut_fleshlight.png|The Fleshlight for those who liek [[Azn]] [[vagoo]].
Image:Jew_Fleshlight.PNG|Note how the lotion covers her nose.
Image:Mom_Fleshlight.jpg|Mom helping her son with sex ED.
Image:Fleshcollider.jpg|[[LHC]] version for you [[Stephen Hawking|theoretical physicists]]
Image:Howdoifleshlight.jpg|Can you help me, Ryan?
Image:futanarifleshlight.jpg|Even futanari love teh fleshlight.
Image:Innovation(good).jpg|Fan+Fleshlight=Awesome
Image:Yoda fleshlight.jpg|Typical Fleshlight setup.
Image:doglight.jpg|Now furries can have fleshlights,too!
Image:Lampreyfleshlight.png|Fuck it. What's the worst that could happen?
Image:Fleshshit.jpg|The [[loli]] model
Image:Fleshlightmailfail.jpg|Your neighbors are sure to fuck your shit if it goes to the wrong house.
Image:Gn.gif|[[GNAA|gay nigger]] approved
Image:Masturbation.jpg|Bust a nut while you bust a ghost
File:Cyborg fleshlight.jpg|For [[Transformers]] fanboys.
File:Skyrim dragon fleshlight dildo lube.jpg
File:My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic Fleshlight Pony Collection.jpg
</gallery>
 
==[[Copypasta]]==
This is a copypasta that has circulated around [[b|/b/]] that [[divide by zero|divides despair by zero]]. It originally was a true post by someone on the fleshlight website's forums titled [http://forums.fleshlight.com/showthread.php?t=3135 Fleshlight makes me want to kill myself.]
{| cellspacing="4"
|- valign="top"
|width="100%" style="border: 10px solid #FFFFEE; color:#800; background: #fca; padding:14px"|
It's not the Fleshlight's fault, really. Just the fact that trying to use the one I ordered for my 34th birthday has rammed home the basic fact that I am a loser and that I am never going to get laid in my life.
 
I am apparently both too small and too big to use the Fleshlight. Small in the {{wordfilter|text=PENIS}} and big in the grossly overweight stomach. The result is that I apparently can't get very deep into the thing and experience the ribbing and other textures.
 
I ordered four inserts at once, three supertights with the three sorts of textures -- wave, ribbed, bumped -- and one ultratight. With all of them I have been having an incredible struggle to find a comfortable position to get in with my enormous stomach to allow for using the thing long enough to get off. I apparently developed a way to masturbate by hand that deluded myself into thinking I was normal. I am obviously not. I can only seem to go about an inch and a half into this Fleshlight before my fat gets in the way and the smallness of my {{wordfilter|text=PENIS}} defeat the purpose. The incredible depression of the experience makes it hard for me to stay erect as the whole time I am thinking about what a deformed, out-of-shape loser I am, so I end up only half hard or less.
 
Today is my 34th birthday. I have never had a girlfriend in my life, due to being a shy fatass with an ugly skin condition that I was afraid of having anyone see by taking my clothes off. I am so incredibly fucking lonely and depressed. I just want to be able to hug a woman, to hold her in my arms. Sex is frankly secondary to me, which is lucky given that I haven't had any except with my own hand.
 
I bought this thing thinking I would treat myself and make myself happier, but it has just driven home how fucked I am. I guess my only hope at this point is to find a woman who doesn't mind me only using oral sex on her because my {{wordfilter|text=PENIS}} obviously doesn't work very well.
|}
 
Lesson: '''DO SOME SIT-UPS [[fat|FATTY]]!!!!'''
 
The man who posted that thread, posted one other thread on the fleshlight forums, [http://forums.fleshlight.com/showthread.php?t=7880 this one] where he took bad care of his fleshlight and ended up ruining it.


==Material==
The "Real Feel Superskin" material fleshlights are made from is a bizarre mixture of petroleum products and chemicals. This fake vagoo material is very porous so every virus and bacteria it comes in contact with can set up shop. Using rubbing alcohol to clean the fleshlight like the manufacturer suggests only kills some of them, leaving the strongest to multiply... you know, [[truth|the same way super viruses are created and spread]]. So every used fleshlight quickly becomes a cesspit of super bacteria and viruses lying in wait for your junk so they can climb up your urethra and [[STD|have a huge party]].
Made out of pink bubblegum, and flesh that's peeled of the pavement after a [[Suicide |jumper]] has made a [[An Hero|victorious ending]]; the fleshlight is the most unnatural alternative to a cunt you will ever feel. It also comes in variety of 'textures', one of which only appears in the natural world during an [[STD]] outbreak. [[Pedobear]] is said to have designed the 'ultra-tight' one just for [[you]]. You'll love it.         
[[Image:Textures.jpg|frame|center|Either way it's still going to feel like humping [[DBZ|Majin Buu]].]]


==Raid==
And why does the company say "[http://www.fleshlight.com/faq-general/ use rubbing alcohol to clean]"? No, it's not for your health: soap and water will cause chemical reactions that will break the toy down. It can cause the fleshlight to literally burn your junk. Oh, and even if cared for "correctly" the sleeves require powdering with corn starch to absorb all the chemicals the cheapass fake vagoo material leeches out so it doesn't break down even faster. When you go to use the toy again all those chemicals are still inside.  
On the 30th of August, there was a massive raid of the www.fleshlight.com customer service Live Help chat. /b/lackup was called, and lulz were had. Many people answered stupid fucking questions as politely as possible because they were at work. It is to be expected that you'll get trolled working for a sex toy company, so there was no remorse. Many people answered calls and chat window; among them Felsiberto, Ahmed, Todd, some dumb bitch, and of course Ryan.  


Ryan actually had a sense of humor and went along with the many forced memes thrown at him, like [[mudkips]] as well people claiming to [[I accidentally X| accidentally an entire fleshlight]].
And they want you to put your cock in contact with it. Looks like this company deserves a spanking!


Another raid ensued on September 21st, causing even more lulz, especially for [[Newfags|those who missed out]]. Turns out, Ryan found his way to /b/ and even began posting there. His dick was jumped on immediately by many an anon.
==Raids==
On August 30th and September 21st, 2008, the fleshlight.com customer service Live Help chat was subject of massive raids. Many people answered stupid fucking questions as politely as possible because they were at work. It is to be expected that you'll get trolled working for a sex toy company like this one, so there was no remorse.


===Raid Gallery===
<center><gallery>
<gallery>
Image:Accidentally the whole.jpg|Ahmed gets his cherry pooped
Image:Accidentally the whole.jpg|Ahmed gets his cherry pooped
Image:Ahmedfleshlight.jpg|[[Arab|Sand Nigger]]
Image:Ahmedfleshlight.jpg|[[Arab|Sand Nigger]]
Image:Ryanfleshlight1.jpg|Ryan first starting out
Image:Ryanfleshlight1.jpg|Ryan first starting out
Image:Ryanfleshlight4.jpg|Ryan's catching on...
Image:Ryanfleshlight4.jpg|Ryan's catching on...
Image:Ryanfleshlight2.jpg|the problem isn't on Ryan's end
Image:Ryanfleshlight2.jpg|the problem isn't on Ryan's end
Image:Ryanfleshlight3.jpg|No, thank you.
Image:Ryanfleshlight3.jpg|No, thank you.
Image:RyanOrJeremyFleshlight.jpg|Ryan??... You decide.
Image:RyanOrJeremyFleshlight.jpg|Ryan??... You decide.
Image:Accidentfleshlightcraftyyy.jpg|Thomas gets pwned with style!
Image:Accidentfleshlightcraftyyy.jpg|Thomas gets pwned with style!
</gallery>
</gallery></center>


The Raid stopped being funny when they shut down their chat center that night, and Ryan was declared a GODlol. After that, the [[newfags]] got a hold of the raid and promptly broke [[Rules 1 and 2]] by LINKING HIM TO /b/. Regardless of the fail, the screenshots taken of the raid are still floating around; once in a blue fucking moon you'll find a new one that doesn't suck. But mostly, it's newfags repeating what we did the first time.
==Gallery==
 
{{cg||FleshlightGallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
The Ryantology commandments to be posted here later, bitch.
File:Monitor + Fleshlight.jpg|animu sex simulator
 
Image:PinkButt.jpg|[[GNAA|Gay nigger]] approved!
== Fleshlight Community ==
File:Train mouth Fleshlight.png|Use this to troll the [[YouTube Thomas Club]]
 
Image:doglight.jpg|Dogfuckers get in on the fun...
The Fleshlight community is one of the most pathetic fandoms on the [[interwebs]], where men brag about owning over 20 fleshlights, loyally follow Fleshlight on [[Facebook]] and [[Twitter]] using their public profiles, and comparing cock sizes.
Image:My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic Fleshlight Pony Collection.jpg|And so do [[Bronies]]
 
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
==Also see==
File:Melonfleshlight.png|Fruitlight
The lulzy Japanese answer to the Fleshlight; the perfect imported gift for Americunts who love getting their rocks off to anime; a combination of Ramen and dickbang called the [http://wackyjapanese.pandemonium.de/2008/03/04/cup-nude/ "Cup Nude."] 
File:Peppa Pig fleshlight.png|Peppa Pig approves!
File:Rainbow Dash fleshlight sex toy.jpg
Image:Fleshlight_motivation.jpg
File:Fleshlight Skeleton.jpg
File:Fleshlight Sandwich.jpg
Image:Innovation(good).jpg
Image:Amazon_world_of_warcraft_fleshlight.jpg
File:alienfleshlight.jpg|The infamous Alien Fleshlight; an other-worldy experience!
Image:Fleshy4.gif|And if you buy one you probably ''were'' sitting at home jerking off on prom night.
File:Fleshlight Gun.jpg
File:Corroded fleshlight.JPG
File:Corrodded fleshlight 2.JPG
File:Cyborgfleshlight.jpg|Why...?
Image:Froglight.png|[[GET OUT|GET IN]]
Image:0.69 Caliber.jpg|Fleshlight, now catering for gun fucking red necks.
Image:Fleshlightowner.GIF|[http://www.miscellaneousetc.com/index.php/2004/12/01/hilarious-sex-toy-round-up-fleshlight/ This review] brought out a butthurt response by an obvious fleshlight owner.
Image:Lol-wut_fleshlight.png|The Fleshlight for those who liek [[Azn]] [[vagoo]].
Image:Jew_Fleshlight.PNG|Note how the lotion covers her nose.
Image:Mom_Fleshlight.jpg|Mom helping her son with sex ED.
Image:Fleshcollider.jpg|[[LHC]] version for you [[Stephen Hawking|theoretical physicists]]
Image:Howdoifleshlight.jpg|Can you help me, Ryan?
Image:futanarifleshlight.jpg|Even futanari love teh fleshlight.
Image:Yoda fleshlight.jpg|Typical Fleshlight setup.
Image:Lampreyfleshlight.png|Fuck it. What's the worst that could happen?
Image:Fleshshit_fix.jpg
Image:Fleshshit.jpg|recaptioned
File:Fleshlight collector.jpg
File:Moldy Fleshlight.jpg
File:Fleshfan.jpg
Image:Cyborg fleshlight.jpg|For [[Transformers]] fanboys.
Image:Skyrim dragon fleshlight dildo lube.jpg
File:Fleshlightstealthunit.jpg
File:Fleshlightmetalgear.png
</gallery>}}


It wins.  Srsly.
==Videos==
<center>{{fv|Fleshlight videos|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>8i55O7uTqyA</youtube>
|<youtube>Pfs6YAYeJ10</youtube>
|<youtube>M8XEhAVtfxQ</youtube>
|<youtube>nwKAtUbNloQ</youtube>
|<youtube>Gcusl4jv2_U</youtube>
|<youtube>M7EQ4xsq9QA</youtube>}}
'''5 years and 2 million dollars well spent.'''</center>


[[Last thursday]] a [[spanish]] version of Fleshlight appeared: '''MASTURB&Iacute;N, Carmen de Mairena Edition'''.
==See Also==
This version is based on the spanish [[trap|sex-symbol]] Carmen de Mairena. It features a realistic feel and taste that [[fail|makes you believe]] you are doing Carmen.
*[[Bad Dragon]]
*[[Zeta Toy]]


==Links==
==External Links==
*[http://forums.fleshlight.com/forumdisplay.php?f=1 One of the most pathetic places on the internets]
*[http://forums.fleshlight.com/forumdisplay.php?f=1 One of the most pathetic places on the internets]
*[http://www.fleshlight.com/ Fleshlights]
*[http://fleshlight.com/ Fleshlights]
*[http://www.realtouch.com/dispatcher/home Fleshlight 2.0]
*[http://www.realtouch.com/dispatcher/home Fleshlight 2.0]
*[http://www.homemade-sex-toys.com/flashlight/ Make your own Fleshlight with a potato chip can!]
*[http://www.homemade-sex-toys.com/flashlight/ Make your own Fleshlight with a potato chip can!]
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20101024220551/http://wackyjapanese.pandemonium.de/2008/03/04/cup-nude/ Japan's answer to the Fleshlight]
*[http://www.get-coupons.com/discounts/fleshlight-coupon-codes Fleshlight Coupons]
*[http://faprum.com/general-discussion/all-fleshlight-coupon-codes-specials-and-promos/ Fleshlight Coupon Codes And More]
{{Dying_Alone}}
{{Dying_Alone}}
{{sex}}
{{sex}}
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Sex]]
{{timeline|Featured article December 6 & 7, [[2012]]|[[2012 GNAA Tumblr Ruin]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Zeta Toy]]}}

Latest revision as of 02:06, 13 December 2023

Sure it does, Dave. Sure it does.
You selfish bastard, it's always about you, isn't it?!

Fleshlight is a sex toy made for people who, for some reason, lack the ability to use the perfectly good hand that Mother Nature has given them to simulate the feeling of sex. With “2 million dollars spent in research and development”, it is money well-spent to satisfy the pathetic needs of basement dwellers, while laminating their V cards in the process.

Fleshlights come in many varieties ranging from mouth, anus, and whatever else to suit your sexual needs. Besides pink, they also come clear, for people who enjoy fucking raw shrimp.

The makers of Fleshlight can easily make claims that it "feels just like the real thing" because they know that 99% of the buyers have never experienced a real pussy and probably never will. Made out of pink bubblegum, the Fleshlight is the most unnatural alternative to a cunt you will ever feel. It also comes in variety of 'textures', one of which only appears in the natural world during an STD outbreak. Pedobear is said to have designed the 'ultra-tight' one just for you. You'll love it.

Either way, it'll feel like you're humping Majin Buu.

Just when you thought it couldn't get any more unnatural, the terror kicks in.

The "Real Feel Superskin" material fleshlights are made from is a bizarre mixture of petroleum products and chemicals. This fake vagoo material is very porous so every virus and bacteria it comes in contact with can set up shop. Using rubbing alcohol to clean the fleshlight like the manufacturer suggests only kills some of them, leaving the strongest to multiply... you know, the same way super viruses are created and spread. So every used fleshlight quickly becomes a cesspit of super bacteria and viruses lying in wait for your junk so they can climb up your urethra and have a huge party.

And why does the company say "use rubbing alcohol to clean"? No, it's not for your health: soap and water will cause chemical reactions that will break the toy down. It can cause the fleshlight to literally burn your junk. Oh, and even if cared for "correctly" the sleeves require powdering with corn starch to absorb all the chemicals the cheapass fake vagoo material leeches out so it doesn't break down even faster. When you go to use the toy again all those chemicals are still inside.

And they want you to put your cock in contact with it. Looks like this company deserves a spanking!

Raids

On August 30th and September 21st, 2008, the fleshlight.com customer service Live Help chat was subject of massive raids. Many people answered stupid fucking questions as politely as possible because they were at work. It is to be expected that you'll get trolled working for a sex toy company like this one, so there was no remorse.

  • Ahmed gets his cherry pooped
    Ahmed gets his cherry pooped
  • Sand Nigger
    Sand Nigger
  • Ryan first starting out
    Ryan first starting out
  • Ryan's catching on...
    Ryan's catching on...
  • the problem isn't on Ryan's end
    the problem isn't on Ryan's end
  • No, thank you.
    No, thank you.
  • Ryan??... You decide.
    Ryan??... You decide.
  • Thomas gets pwned with style!
    Thomas gets pwned with style!

Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • Fruitlight
    Fruitlight
  • Peppa Pig approves!
    Peppa Pig approves!
  • The infamous Alien Fleshlight; an other-worldy experience!
    The infamous Alien Fleshlight; an other-worldy experience!
  • And if you buy one you probably were sitting at home jerking off on prom night.
    And if you buy one you probably were sitting at home jerking off on prom night.
  • File:Corroded fleshlight.JPG
  • File:Corrodded fleshlight 2.JPG
  • Why...?
    Why...?
  • GET IN
    GET IN
  • Fleshlight, now catering for gun fucking red necks.
    Fleshlight, now catering for gun fucking red necks.
  • This review brought out a butthurt response by an obvious fleshlight owner.
    This review brought out a butthurt response by an obvious fleshlight owner.
  • The Fleshlight for those who liek Azn vagoo.
    The Fleshlight for those who liek Azn vagoo.
  • Note how the lotion covers her nose.
    Note how the lotion covers her nose.
  • Mom helping her son with sex ED.
    Mom helping her son with sex ED.
  • LHC version for you theoretical physicists
    LHC version for you theoretical physicists
  • Can you help me, Ryan?
    Can you help me, Ryan?
  • Even futanari love teh fleshlight.
    Even futanari love teh fleshlight.
  • Typical Fleshlight setup.
    Typical Fleshlight setup.
  • Fuck it. What's the worst that could happen?
    Fuck it. What's the worst that could happen?
  • recaptioned
    recaptioned
  • For Transformers fanboys.
    For Transformers fanboys.

Videos

Previous Video | Next Video

5 years and 2 million dollars well spent.

See Also

External Links

Fleshlight is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

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Aaron Alexis ☠ Aaron Bushnell ☠ Aaron Swartz ☠ Adam Lanza ☠ Alexis Arquette ☠ Amanda Todd ☠ Amy Winehouse ☠ Anal Cunt ☠ Andy Kaufman ☠ Angry Grandpa ☠ Anna Nicole Smith ☠ Anthony Warner ☠ Asa Coon ☠ Brian Adams ☠ Brandon Crisp ☠ Byuu ☠ Charmaine Dragun ☠ Cho Seung-Hui ☠ Chris Benoit ☠ Chris Harper-Mercer ☠ Chyna ☠ Codey Porter ☠ David Bowie ☠ David Carradine ☠ Dragoneer ☠ Eazy-E ☠ Edarem ☠ Elliot Rodger ☠ Elvis Presley ☠ George Sodini ☠ Gizgiz ☠ Gleb Korablev ☠ HappyCabbie ☠ Harambe ☠ H.P. Lovecraft ☠ Heath Ledger ☠ Jake Davison ☠ Jeff Weise ☠ JewWario ☠ Jim Morrison ☠ Kate Spade ☠ Kitty0706 ☠ Kurt Cobain ☠ Lemonade Coyote ☠ Leelah Alcorn ☠ Lil Peep ☠ Lilo ☠ Loki Blackfang ☠ Lowtax ☠ Mia Janin ☠ Megan Meier ☠ Michael Jackson ☠ Mitchell Henderson ☠ MySpace ☠ Nathan Gale ☠ Nikita Lytkin ☠ Otoya Yamaguchi ☠ Pekka-Eric Auvinen ☠ Prince ☠ Randy Stair ☠ Rehtaeh Parsons ☠ Ricardo Lopez ☠ Rina Palenkova ☠ Ripper ☠ Robin Williams ☠ Ronnie McNutt ☠ Rudolph Zurick ☠ Ryan Palmeter ☠ Shawn Woolley ☠ Shay ☠ Shuaiby ☠ Sol Pais ☠ Stephen Paddock ☠ Steve Stephens ☠ Thomas Matthew Crooks ☠ Tony48219 ☠ TooDamnFilthy ☠ Tyler Dumstorf ☠ Vester Flanagan ☠ William Atchison ☠ XXXTentacion ☠ Zhao Zewei

Those Dying Alone

03bgood ☠ 2cash ☠ 2 gryphon ☠ 7jackass77 ☠ Adam Sandler ☠ Ahuviya Harel ☠ AIDS Skrillex ☠ AkewsticRockR ☠ Alex Ford ☠ Alison Rapp ☠ America's Third Party ☠ Amy Schumer ☠ Andrew Allanson ☠ Angry Joe ☠ AnimatedJames ☠ Anita Sarkeesian ☠ Anonymous Borg ☠ Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto ☠ Antony Aguilar ☠ April Davis ☠ Aquagirlwhitefox ☠ Argent009 ☠ Arguecat3 ☠ Arin Hanson ☠ Armake21 ☠ Asalieri ☠ Asher2500 ☠ Austin Alexander ☠ AvantGardePony ☠ Bambifan101 ☠ Barneyfag ☠ Basement Dwellers ☠ Ben Ford ☠ Ben Moynihan ☠ Benny_the_Snake ☠ Benthelooney ☠ Big Red ☠ Bikerfox ☠ Bill9929 ☠ Bill Gaede ☠ Bill Gates ☠ BLACKbusterCritic ☠ Bob Rehahn ☠ BrandontheMovieGuy ☠ Brandon Smith ☠ Brian Mueller ☠ Brian Richard Zaiger ☠ Brianna Wu ☠ Bronies ☠ ButLova ☠ ByAppointmentTo ☠ Carl the Cuck ☠ Cartoonjunkie ☠ Caseydecker ☠ CatboyKami ☠ Cheeyev ☠ Chloe Sagal ☠ Chris-chan ☠ Chris Crocker ☠ Chuck M. ☠ Clint of Rise and Fall ☠ CopperCab ☠ Corey Margera ☠ Coughlan666 ☠ Crazyvideosandrants ☠ Crinklemon ☠ Cyraxx ☠ Daniel Brandt ☠ Dan Cilley ☠ Dane Cook ☠ Dani Filth ☠ Darius McCollum ☠ Darknessthecurse ☠ DarksydePhil ☠ Dave Chapelle ☠ Dave Mustaine ☠ David Hockey ☠ Daxflame ☠ DBoyWheeler ☠ Deeker ☠ DeterminedToDrawUT ☠ Dev-catscratch ☠ DGTrixie ☠ Diaper Boy ☠ Dillon Cossey ☠ Diogo Mendes ☠ DisneyFan01 ☠ DisneyMaster ☠ DJ KEEMSTAR ☠ Dnepropetrovsk maniacs ☠ DodgerofZion ☠ Dogpatch Press ☠ Don Roberts ☠ Doodletones ☠ Doomer3868 ☠ Dorian_Gay ☠ Doug Walker ☠ Drakon ☠ DrossRotzank ☠ Doomentio ☠ Dustin ☠ EDP445 ☠ Emer Prevost ☠ Emos ☠ Epic Fat Guy ☠ EpicKitty54 ☠ Eric Abramov ☠ Eric Ridenour ☠ Erik Ribsskog ☠ ErtasVideos ☠ Filthy Frank ☠ Fagolescents ☠ FanFic Critic ☠ Fast Eddie ☠ Fat Man ☠ Faust & Pory ☠ Five Nights at Freddy's fans ☠ Flardox ☠ Fluffy teh wolf ☠ ForeverKailyn ☠ Friends of A-Log ☠ Furries ☠ G-Zay ☠ Gather Against Fate ☠ George Lopez ☠ Geoshea ☠ Ghost ☠ Girlvinyl ☠ Globelamp ☠ GoddessMillenia ☠ Graykat ☠ Greg Mazujian ☠ Gwen Gale ☠ Gwen Stefani ☠ Harmful Opinions ☠ Hellkiller777 ☠ I Dislike Cis People ☠ I Hate Everything ☠ Ian Miles Cheong ☠ Ichverbot ☠ icze⁴r ☠ Imma-The-Deer ☠ InkBunny ☠ Isabella Loretta Janke ☠ Jamil The King ☠ Jessi Slaughter ☠ Jessica Leeds ☠ Jim Profit ☠ JINXDROWNED ☠ Joe Crusher Pickles ☠ Joeker ☠ John Bulla ☠ John Field ☠ John Kricfalusi ☠ John Patrick Rogers ☠ Jonathan McIntosh ☠ Jonmon ☠ JonTron ☠ Joseph Camp ☠ Joseph8276 ☠ Joshua "Null" Moon ☠ Juggalos ☠ JustinRPG ☠ Kat Dennings ☠ Kendall Jenner ☠ Keegan Salisbury ☠ Kathleen Todd ☠ Kenny Glenn ☠ Kevin Havens ☠ Keffals ☠ Kimmo Johan Alm ☠ KingEmpoleon ☠ KingMasterReview ☠ Krashed ☠ Laci Green ☠ Larry the Cable Guy ☠ Lauren Faust ☠ LeafyIsHere ☠ Lecarick ☠ Leigh Alexander ☠ LeisureSuitGaming ☠ Lena Dunham ☠ Leonard F. Shaner Jr. ☠ Leslie Jones ☠ LifeInATent ☠ Likeicare ☠ Linkara ☠ LittleCloud ☠ LittleKuriboh ☠ Logo Kids ☠ Lordelthibar ☠ Low Tier God ☠ Lucian Hodoboc ☠ M. Chaos ☠ A Man in Black ☠ Manchildren ☠ Mar9122 ☠ Marbles ☠ MarioMario456 ☠ Mariotehplumber ☠ Marjan Siklic ☠ masteroogwgay ☠ Matthew Davis ☠ Matthew Nicholson ☠ McJuggerNuggets ☠ MDetector5‎ ☠ Meowbark ☠ MeganSpeaks ☠ Michael Batton ☠ Michael Fitzhywel ☠ Michael Gimson ☠ Mike Sandy ☠ Moleman9000 ☠ Monica Punk ☠ MonkeyGameGuides ☠ Moviebob ☠ Mumkey Jones ☠ MuZemike ☠ MylarBalloonFan ☠ MysteriousMrEnter ☠ MysticArk ☠ NaokoElric2250 ☠ NawlinWiki ☠ Neckbeards ☠ NeoGAF ☠ Nick Bate ☠ Nick Bravo ☠ Nikkineko333 ☠ Noah Antwiler ☠ Nostalgia Chick ☠ Notch ☠ Nullcherri ☠ Objectfags ☠ OFWGKTA ☠ Onideus Mad Hatter ☠ Onyx Forepaw ☠ Pacificoceanasia ☠ PaigeGirl ☠ Paul Feig ☠ Paulie Calafiore ☠ Parkourdude91 ☠ Peter Bright ☠ Peter Coffin ☠ PhantomStrider8 ☠ Phil Fish ☠ PhunWithLogic ☠ Pinkiepony ☠ Pit Viper ☠ Pixyteri ☠ Peluchin Entertainment ☠ PMRants ☠ Preachingthegospel ☠ Quentin Tarantino ☠ Rachael MacFarlane ☠ Randi Harper ☠ Richard Reid ☠ Ricki Raven ☠ RMG Productions ☠ Robert Stainton ☠ Robert Wayne Stiles ☠ Rockosocko ☠ Romeo Rose ☠ Rootbrian ☠ Rose3212 ☠ Ryan Routh ☠ Sad Frog ☠ SammyClassicSonicFan ☠ Sam Pepper ☠ Sarah Butts ☠ Sarahisnifty ☠ SaturnDOS ☠ Sceptre ☠ Schnookums ☠ Segacamp ☠ Sega Kid ☠ Seth MacFarlane ☠ Sethisto ☠ Shadman ☠ Simply Okami ☠ Slowbeef & Diabetus ☠ Snapesnogger ☠ Sonic Savior ☠ Sonmanic ☠ Sony-Mae ☠ Sophie Labelle ☠ Spax3 ☠ Stormy ☠ Superlisamcb ☠ Susan Boyle ☠ Tara Strong ☠ TheAmazingAtheist ☠ TheDOSFag ☠ TheSockDetective ☠ Tim Buckley ☠ TJ Lane ☠ Todd in the Shadows ☠ Tom Preston ☠ ToonEGuy ☠ Tourneyfags ☠ Trey Eric Sesler ☠ Trigglypuff ☠ Tyciol ☠ Tyler Garmany ☠ Ulillillia ☠ The Unknown Autobot ☠ Vade ☠ VinceintheBay ☠ Wade Fulp ☠ WeatherManKevin ☠ Wesley!!! ☠ WoWfan4life ☠ Wwwarea ☠ Weegeeisgoingtokillm ☠ Xenuria ☠ YandereDev ☠ Yoshiwii1 ☠ You ☠ youngbloodfantasy91 ☠ Zoe Quinn ☠ Zone

Their Methods

9gag ☠ Adventure Time ☠ An Hero ☠ AIDS ☠ Animu ☠ Alt-right ☠ Art School ☠ A-Log's Fanfiction ☠ ask.fm ☠ Asperger's Syndrome ☠ Assigned Male ☠ Bath Salts ☠ The Big Bang Theory ☠ Battle For Dream Island ☠ BlackLivesMatter ☠ Black metal ☠ Body Pillows ☠ BonziWORLD ☠ BitView ☠ Booze ☠ Bullying ☠ BuzzFeed ☠ Children's Cartoons ☠ Clown World ☠ Computer Science III ☠ Cosplay ☠ CumOnPrintedPics.Com ☠ Cuphead ☠ Dead Friend ☠ Death metal ☠ Death penalty ☠ Dating Sims ☠ DeviantART ☠ Discord ☠ Drugs ☠ Edginess ☠ Family Guy ☠ FanFiction ☠ Feminism ☠ Fedora ☠ Fidget spinner ☠ The Filthy Frank Show ☠ Five Nights at Freddy's ☠ Fleshlight ☠ Friend Zone ☠ FurAffinity ☠ Furry Art ☠ Fun Shitposting Wiki ☠ Garry's Mod ☠ Genshin Impact ☠ GoAnimate! ☠ Googlewhacking ☠ Gorillaz ☠ Goths ☠ Gravity Falls ☠ Green Day ☠ Greeny Phatom ☠ Grindcore ☠ Hacking ☠ Happy Madison Productions ☠ Homestuck‎ ☠ Hover hand‎ ☠ Hufflepuff ☠ High Score ☠ Incelcore ☠ Indie music ☠ Infantilism ☠ Insane Clown Posse ☠ Introvert ☠ Invisible Girlfriend ☠ IRC ☠ Jenkem ☠ Kiwi Farms ☠ Kotaku ☠ League of Legends ☠ Lego ☠ Libertarianism ☠ LiveJournal ☠ Lonely ☠ LoveShy ☠ Mai Waifu ☠ Mass Shootings ☠ Men's rights activism ☠ Minecraft ☠ MLP Forums ☠ MMORPGs ☠ MGTOW ☠ MUDs ☠ My Little Pony ☠ My Tiny Dick ☠ Nice Guyism ☠ Nu metal ☠ Oculus Rift ☠ Oh Shiternet ☠ Online dating ☠ Online sex games ☠ Overwatch ☠ Plastic Crap ☠ Plenty of Fish ☠ /r9k/ ☠ Rick and Morty ☠ Roblox ☠ Rule 34 ☠ RuneScape ☠ School Shootings ☠ Second Life ☠ Self-Victimization ☠ Shy Boys IRL ☠ Silk Screen Goku Shirt ☠ Slayer ☠ Slipknot ☠ Sluthate ☠ Smogon University ☠ Social Justice ☠ Source Filmmaker ☠ South Park ☠ Sparkalloon ☠ Speakonia ☠ Star vs. the Forces of Evil ☠ Steven Universe ☠ Taking the Internet Too Seriously ☠ Team Fortress 2 ☠ That Guy With The Glasses ☠ The Anytown Show ☠ The Entersphere ☠ The Sims ☠ They Might Be Giants ☠ Tomb Raider ☠ Tool ☠ Transformers ☠ Tulpas ☠ Tumblr ☠ TV Tropes ☠ twenty one pilots ☠ Uncharted ☠ Uncle Grandpa ☠ Uncyclopedia ☠ Undertale ☠ Unikitty ☠ UTTP ☠ VidLii ☠ Virginity ☠ Virtual Youtubers ☠ Vloggerheads ☠ WatchMojo.com ☠ Weezer ☠ Wikimania ☠ Wizardchan ☠ World of Warcraft ☠ YIIK: A Post-Modern RPG ☠ YouTube

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Featured article December 6 & 7, 2012
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