He11sing920

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Warning!
He11sing920 is immune to fat jokes/comments, so don't even bother.

But don't Ev...Ev...Ev...Ev..Fuckiiiing EVER mock his stammer, faggot!

Hellsing920,
a.k.a. the lead singer of 90's pop band Blues Traveller

	“	It's good to see that the EDiots are so out of ideas that they now have an article about me. Makes me somehow feel like my importance on the internet has grown a little from that.	„
	—Hellsing920, whose elitist response towards his ED article reveals a butthurt interior.

The twin brother of Sean Fausz who possesses an ego the size of Texas and weighs more than PissedOffVideoGamer, Hellsing920 (Powerword: Emerson Prevost) started his Internet career writing unintelligent and painfully unfunny wrestling articles for ObessedWithWrestling.com (now called OnlineWorldofWrestling.com), before deciding to make a name for himself on Youtube. Hellsing was around for not even all of 2007 until he got banned for copyright infringement for comparing himself to Peter Griffin. He then sought refuge at LiveVideo, where he considered it productive for a new game review to be released every six months. This shouldn't be a surprise since being lazy has always been Hellsing's cup of tea (read below).

Returning to evil ol' YouTube not even half a year later as He11sing920 ("11" instead of "LL") Hellsing tried to widen his audience by creating original rants and informative videos, bitching about shit no one cares about, including fanboys, anime, cellphones, golf, ICP, Chris-chan, Spax3, Sailormoonred1, TGWTG and The Dark Knight. Since then, Hellsing has regretted making these videos, yet he'll criticize guys like the Archfiend and BBC for making video after video attacking trivial stuff, despite the fact that he did the same thing in regards to the fanboys. Emer now spends his remaining days e-begging for people to buy him DVDs to view so he can upload videos of himself watching the film and acting angry over how bad it is, since he's too lazy and cheap to download a movie from a site or buy a movie himself, despite now obtaining a full-time job at an Indian casino. Tragically, people actually do this. Much like Asalieri, Hellsing920 doesn't give a flying fuck about his fans, so why people donate movies to him (that he's likely not going to review anyway) is a mystery. Adding insult to injury, 99.99% of the time Emer rejects the movies his fans request him to review.

Reaction & Review (a.k.a. How to Cure Insomnia)

Hellsing920's current series is Reaction & Review where all he does is sit on his massive ass in front of a blank screen; mutters "Wow. Holy shit." or "That's fucking awesome dude!" to a movie that we never get to see; and then proceeds to bore the living shit out of viewers by stuttering, rambling and talking on and on pedantically for 15-20 minutes about a movie that could be expressed in 3 sentences. At the end, he will be sure to name drop similar movies to prove his reviewer cred to his fanboys, no matter how much of a non sequitur it is. Yet he claims that this is more talented than whatever Jfreedan does. Of course, Hellsing will defend this style by stating that the lack of footage helps prevent possible copyright infringement and that it makes his reviews more authentic, which doesn't make sense because many popular and far more talented movie reviewers from Red Letter Media, TGWTG and GameTrailers have used movie footage in their reviews MULTIPLE times and they rarely had their videos pull down.

So Hellsing's argument that he doesn't need footage to make his reviews authentic is further rendered invalid due to the fact that:

75% of the movies he's reviewing are shitty exploitation movies, B-list films, and other obscure pieces of crap that are hardly available in public domain, let alone seen by the mass public, and thus many companies and distributors don't care if the footage is used.

Movies that ARE available are no longer relevant in the copyright world (since some are between 5-45 years old) and are now all over the Internet.

You can still use film footage as long as you don't summarize the picture or go into detail on the plot.

As stated earlier, Hellsing fails to realize that without any footage to back up his arguments, he comes across talking like he's reading from cue cards in front of him, which leads some to question the legitimacy of his reviews, since it's highly doubtful that he recorded the whole entire experience of him watching a movie and then giving a review, as opposed to doing a number of takes for each reaction and review, which is more likely.

Rivalries

vs. TheBlackBusterCritic

Speaking of lack of legitimacy, in a more recent instance, he called out BlackBusterCritic to his livestream channel for a debate and not even give him the rights to directly talk to him, only to communicate via text chat. BBC made a video in response to such, which was flagged down for hate speech after he said Hellsing920 looked like a worn out old armchair, and BBC made a short response to the flagged video too. Naturally, Hellsing defended his actions, claiming that his livestream channel wouldn't allow him to let BBC talk, even if he wanted to, which, of course, doesn't explain how he could get his friends RandomDCE, Asalieri and UrinatingTree onto his stream. But let's just say for arguments' sake that Emer COULDN'T get BBC to talk on his stream; if that's the case, then maybe he shouldn’t have challenged the dude to come to his stream in the first place, cause when you challenge someone to a debate, knowing that you have the privilege to talk on the mic but the other person does not, then you've lost.

vs. The Game Boob

Game Boob, with his twin sister The FanFic Critic

The "Catwoman" Review

Shortly after the BBC debacle, He11sing920 had another noteworthy feud, this time with his former friend David Savage (a.k.a. The Game Boob). The feud started when He11sing posted a review on “Catwoman”, where he ludicrously praised the movie as “Purr-fectly cheesy” and “decent”. Yes, the same guy who regarded “The Dark Knight” as average, felt “Eraserhead” was pretentious and thought “Casino Royale” with Daniel Craig sucked said that one of the worst movies in cinema history was “decent”. He also smugly commented on what bad actors Sharon Stone and M'onique were in the picture. Don't believe me? Click here to watch his thoughtful "review" here.

After watching the video, the Game Boob criticized He11sing in the comment section, saying that the review sucked, that it needed better presentation and that he was becoming the new Armond White. Class act that he is, He11sing replied by bitching about how no one should watch something if they don't like it and that he doesn't know or care who Armond White is. In other words, according to Emer, it's alright for him to upload 10-minute bitchfests, saying shit about fanboys, game consoles and the content made by Spax3, Jfreedan, Doug Walker and Ray William Johnson, but when somebody says anything negative about HIS videos, then they are ignorant and don't know what they're talking about.

The Big Chat Incident

The feud between the Game Boob and the self-proclaimed "D-List Celebrity" with a grade-F brain finally escalated in early 2012 when He11sing had a chat with many other Youtube users, which included the Game Boob, One176 and Stan Burdman. Just like he did on his bullshit fanboy chronicle and epic rant videos, He11sing tried to stir shit up, this time by saying that "Batman: Arkham Asylum" sucked, which goes to show that in He11sing's idiotic mind if a game or movie is good or popular, then it'll probably suck ("Metroid Prime", "Resident Evil", the "Metal Gear Solid" series, Nolan's "Batman" movies, "Pink Floyd: The Wall", "Eraserhead", "Casino Royale", "Requiem for a Dream"), but if a game or movie is crap and unpopular, then chances are it'll be good or "decent" ("M.D. Geist", "Catwoman", "Dead Snow", "Cannibal Holocaust", "Howard the Duck", Schumacher's "Batman" movies, "Steel", "Dragonball: Evolution").

Unsurprisingly, this blew up in He11sing's face as everyone in the chat ripped him to shreds and made him look like the biggest idiot on the Internet. Poor little Emer was so butthurt that he enlisted the aid of his hero Asalieri to save him. As a result, Asalieri and the Game Boob ceased to be friends and the two of them never spoke again, with the Game Boob even deleting the videos he made that featured Asalieri.

So in the span of one month, He11sing920 severed not only his friendship between him and the Game Boob, but also the relationship between the Game Boob and Asalieri. Way to go, doofus.

Way of the Sheep

When word broke out about the Big Chat incident, to the surprise of 0.0001% of the human population, all of Asalieri and He11sing920 fanboys rose up to defend their fallen heroes and even accuse The Game Boob for being the instigator of the feud. To add more fuel to the drama (as well as their egos), Asalieri and his friends told their drones the story about how the Game Boob was disrespectful to Asalieri's family during the making of "Punchdickia", because, let's face it, if you're a father like Asalieri, who spends more time uploading whiny videos about Internet celebrities, replying to negative comments, cursing at game reviewers and stirring up Internet drama than hanging out with your wife and two daughters, then you're fit to be a parent, but if you are "disrespectful" to your family, curse you and may you burn in hell.

Asalieri and He11sing920 fanboys were so butthurt that one of the lemmings even attempted to sabotage the ED article on Asalieri, only to receive the banhammer and become a life-long member of the illustrious group of "Banned Losers". Understandably, a casual viewer would look at this situation and think that it's just one guy providing a different side of the story, but this is an Asalieri fanboy we're talking about here and, as everyone knows, Asalieri fanboys are not exactly known for their intelligence and ability to separate truth from fiction.

To further demonstrate the stupidity of fanboys like this guy, here's a screenshot of the man crying over how horrible the folks at ED are, because only an Asalieri and He11sing drone would think that it's not "excessive vandalism" to try to sabotage an article and write nonsensical, incomprehensible grammar in its place:

Aftermath

When the whole incident finally died down, the Game Boob deleted his Youtube account and wound up posting his content on blip.tv while Asalieri continued to embarrass himself and become Youtube's designated lolcow by posting a series of impeccably researched videos making fun of game reviewers and their fans. As for He11sing920, he never fully recovered from the "Big Chat" incident as many fans started to realize that the guy had nothing intelligent to say in his videos and that the only people willing to praise his videos like they were something out of Spielberg were his friends, sock puppets and mindless drones. In an irony that is nothing short of hilarious, the man who long ago made videos attacking Internet users for not accepting criticism wound up undermining his own credibility by not accepting criticism himself.

But even if the Game Boob feud never happened, it still remains a mystery as to how, exactly, Hellsing920 actually has a YouTube career, since merely looking at this morbidly obese blob of a man's grotesque bulk should make it obviously apparent to anybody that he will have nothing of insight or interest to add to any debate. Nobody should care what somebody who looks like Hellsing920 thinks about anything, let alone some shitty old video game or crappy horror movie that only four other people have seen. It is unknown how he even has the slightest motivation to do anything for the matter, as in every video he doesn't seem remotely interested in the reviews he's currently doing, maybe it's just too much effort for a fat fuck like him to do a show that is so effortless to create, that even a monkey with AIDS can outperform him.

The guy even has his own Television & Tropes page, with one of his tropes referring to him as "Mean Character, Nice Actor". Yeah right. If Prevost is a nice guy, then Osama Bin Laden is Irish. Here are a sample of comments from the so-called "Mean Character, Nice Actor":

	“	My show is stale, and yet you still watch it. Doesn't add up to me. If my work was stale, and my criticisms were vague and lazy, you wouldn't waste your time on it, now would you? Only a dipshit would go continue to watch something after they notice the quality drop. But, that's just how I see it. As a side note, I have no clue who the hell Armond White is. Frankly, I don't care either.	„
	—A prime example of how Emer handles criticism.

	“	I have more talent in my dickhair than whatever shit Jfreedan has created	„
	—Emer, only wishing he had a shred of talent within himself.

	“	I believe that Linkara shouldn't be anywhere near a comic book	„
	— Emer, essentially saying Linkara knows nothing about comics because his videos aren't to Hellsing's liking.

	“	If those were his only examples, tell him that none of those were monetized. I never earned a cent off of those. Now, if he were to mention my rants on TGWTG, RWJ or Daniel Tosh, those were a different case. While those were monetized, those were about stating an opinion first, and making a few cents second. Unlike him, I stated my point and walked away instead of making video after video making more money off the same topic while not adding much from one video. In fact, if that arrogant little pissant wants to talk to me, I will be streaming again in a few minutes. He can grow a spine and face me there	„
	—Emer, challenging the BBC and laughably justifying his own rants by saying that all of them were opinions and not for profit. And note the irony of Emer telling the BBC to grow a spine.]

	“	Look at it however you want. Frankly, I just see it as a huge waste of time for all involved	„
	—Emer defending his actions, even though HE was the one that started the whole mess.

“

Gee. I had no idea that my opinion could turn out to be wrong. Thank you for showing me the way, good sir. From now on, I will ask you for approval before I voice an opinion on a movie. I don't want to upset one as enlightened as you. Seriously, piss off. A review is, in essence, a person's opinion. I gave my opinion on this film, thus there is nothing "wrong" about it besides fucking up the year "The Wrestler" came out. Want to give that another try, kid? Perhaps a bit less dickish.

„

—THIS is what you get if you criticize a review by the so-called "Mean Character, Nice Actor".

vs. Asalieri

It would seem the fighting between Emer Prevost has escalated to a new lulzy height when Hellsing920 sold Asalieri out during a livestream, which resulted in Asa creating not one, not two but three videos about this fat injun slob. So far two of the three videos in question have already bit the dust due to Hellsing920 filing reports in a fit of butthurt outrage, polarizing many of Emer's fans in the process.